Need Feedback (ie - Need help) (Page 1 of 2)

Osmedirez: I have gone through a depression similar to what you describe.  While I am still struggling with it, I have found some things that are helpful.  I started a similar post to yours that can be found here: 

http://forum.noblerealms.org/viewtopic.php?id=3724

The suggestions given should be right along with what you are seeking. 

Personally what I have been going through was a depression as my world view changed.  It has been a very harsh experience to see the world you have grown to know is an illusion.  Many times I get frustrated with the monotony and perceived pointlessness of it all.  The things that I have been working with that have improved my mood and outlook are as follows.  I am beginning to follow my ambitions, with baby steps.  For too long I wanted to do something and be done with it.  If I could not do it quickly the first time I perceived it as a failure.  Taking things one small step at a time and not letting the failures get you down is critical to moving forward in a positive way.  Also I had given up on my ambitions for a long time, because they conflicted with what society said was important.  To me now it seems as though the only thing that is truly important to each person is to do that which you incarnated here to do.  I feel that my intuition and ambition are what guide me in the right direction.  I am learning to find happiness in the small things like learning to cook.  Before I had the feeling that I shouldn't be happy until the world was perfect.  That would be impossible, and I would never be happy.  I would still like to see the world become a better place, but I am now trying to take it one step at a time, and to be happy along the way rather then at the end.  Lastly I have been taking a regular multi-Vitamin Pill, Vitamin-E, and Flax Oil and a Melatonin pill every night.  They seem to be improving my mood. 

Other than that I can only wish you good luck.

I can relate to a lot of what you said, I have had similar feelings and experiences.  I know how it feels to get to the point where nothing seems to help at all, no one else gets it, and you stop enjoying anything or caring about anything.  Feeling like you can't see a future anymore.  I totally understand that, and I don't think you are hopeless.  It might feel like it's going to get worse before it gets better, but there IS hope. 

What I would say is, try seeing yourself in a different way.  Think about things you like about yourself, or that you are proud of, even if they seem small or meaningless.  This might sound silly, and I'm not talking about saying affirmations or crap like that.  You just need to find something you can appreciate about yourself and try to hold on to that feeling.  If nothing else just appreciate that you have survived this far in life.  Put aside what other people would think, or what society values.  You have to know your own worth because it is really the only thing in this world that you can hold on to.  Know what it is that makes you a valuable person.

As long as you feel like you need to fix something about yourself, or your life, it will darken your days.  It's okay if you want things to change (and be assured it will, and probably when you least expect it) but please don't think you are wrong for being where you are now.  It sounds like you are going through some heavy disillusionment about seeing the way the world is, and your place in it.  I think we all come into this world knowing we have a purpose for being here, and it just goes to hell somewhere along the way. 

You don't have to figure it all out right now.  There are other options in life besides just going to school.  Work experience is always good to have, even if it is not really the kind of job you want long-term, it can help you get to where you want to be later, or help you decide what it is that you really want to do. 

I had a lot of dreams and ambitions for my life, and pretty much nothing has turned out the way I ever hoped or dreamed that it would.  But I have had other good things come into my life that just amaze me.  Life can really surprise you if you let it, and that's what keeps me going.  I can say in the same breath that I feel blessed, utterly screwed over and defeated, but truly blessed just the same. 

A lot of the things I used to care about, don't seem very important anymore.  It came over me suddenly about 2-3 years ago.  I just lost interest in a lot of things, and for awhile it worried me.  But now I feel like I have more freedom because of it.  Society will tell you to be on guard for signs of depression, see your doctor, blah blah blah.  Beware taking mood drugs because these CAN make you worse.  In any case, the more chemicals you put into your body, the more stress you put on it, especially your liver, and that can make you really worn down.  Fresh air, good food and sunlight can work wonders (if you are a technology addict I was thinking you might be deprived of these).

If you feel like no one can help you, except yourself, this is possibly the greatest thing that can ever happen to you, because it will set you free.

IF you feel that way about hospitals, don't get into nursing - school is worse than hospitals (Personal opinion). Though if you are doing it for the money, that can be a temporary focus however you will quickly end up right back where you are.

I like what starling posted above.

Find a job and start a side business that you can control and grow.

And as another thread on happiness gets to, think on three things each day that brought happiness to your life - if you don't have 3 things - think harder or get out there.

The negatives about you are really that negative. So don't brow beat yourself. those things can be improved to on a journey of their own.

Figure out who you are. Decide who/ what(not necessarily occupation) you want to be and get "out there."process of elimination will develop your intuition and get you where you want/hope to be.

Osmedirez,

Thanks for opening up.  This is a place where there can be much help to the discerning seeker, as you're no doubt finding out.

I can relate to your experiences of feeling low at times.  Two natural-ish things that I've found which seem to "rise the tide" a bit:
- St. John's Wort - this is actually a mild MAO inhibitor as said in another recent thread.  One capsule, 3x a day seems to help.  (Makes me wonder... mao inhibitors allow for more lucidity or 'vision' type experiences... St. John purportedly wrote 'revelations'... lucidity/visions... st. john's wort... )
- Cod Liver Oil - this contains vitamins a & d, in a more naturally absorbable form.  Vit D is particularly important for those that seem to be affected by what they call 'seasonal affective disorder', which is basically just a fancy way of saying not getting enough rays from our great healer agent, the Sun.  In addition, it's a good source of omega 3.  It may be worth it buying a good brand, as opposed to the cheapest thing on the shelf.  cod liver oil for those further north/south in the winter, can be an effective ally.

cheers

Osmedireez -

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

I am another here that's been through some years of depression. No substances contributed to or worsened that, in fact in my case I think the reflection brought on by some cannabis in solitude helped me get something out of what was otherwise a rotting, internally and externally.

If "regular use" means wake'n'bake, then stop it.  For realz.  If you're in a rut, the constant alpha wave state of weed will keep you in it.

On what to do next: perhaps forget all the plans you've made, studies you've done (as far as "staying on track" that is) and try imagining yourself content, growing and healthy. Get a nice solid picture in your mind, then ask yourself what you're doing to be that way.

If you know that an environment drains you, don't go into a career there! I have a lot of hospital impressions in my memory, and I couldn't agree more on the nature of those impressions.

Feeling of disinterest and drifting: Here (and on montalk's site) you can find all sorts of info on the effects of strobes, EM feilds, etc. and how they contribute. My experience with "internet overload" was this: sleeplessness, muscle tension and cramping, irritability, lack of focus and attention, constant sense of craving (generic, no object).

Get more sun, be serious about breathing (no, I'm not being silly), and if nothing piques your interest at any time, try to make the most of nothing and discover meditation ;-)

A societally-induced problem in my opinion is that of forcing people to define themselves, and build dreams on those definitions. Forget definitions, observe yourself like you are doing a National Geographic on some unique beast and judge not. Find what's really there and heed not the hasty conclusions you've been forced to make, for you knew not what you did.

You shouldn't discount your "self" too quickly, as you may not have made full use of that rescource to date.

You're not alone and no "lost cause" either. Every man and every woman is a star.

In fact, I think I hear a coccoon cracking... I love that sound.

Welcome, and Khabs am Pehkt!

ive said this before and it works--go see a psychic.  a good one.  u dont need a therapist as much as a good psychic.  who r u?  do u know?  thats what u need to find out.  do self-work, nothing else matters.  find out who u were, are and will be, have been.  thats the path to be on.  drugs, video games, sitting around, living with ur mother, going into spiritual metaphysics study==all r things that r tellin u who u r and what ur journey is, where its going, what it will entail, where u have been.  its fabulous to see energy workers, healers, so get right on it and find someone who can do past-life readings.  connect with ur higher self, talk to ur guides.  big deal=drugs, booze, sex, have no guilt anymore on that shit.  get over it.  just methods of self-enlightenment, trials, experiments, things to pass time DOING. anybody who wanted to find out about the other "sides to things" has done them, and drank, and done a little of everything.  everybody SELF-MEDICATES or has.  over 80% of ppl on the planet have an anxiety disorder, and components of depression and anxiety go hand in hand.  FACTS. so u used difft coping mechanisms.  thats all that is.  cut the judgement on that. it had its time and place.

so, u realized ur old crap, methods, shit wasnt working for ya as well, so u knocked it off/down a little.  good strategy--do what WORKS. do what works.  what doesnt work--get rid of.  anybody who lives on this planet and has feelings, emotes, SEES things is depressed as hell but keeps goin anyway.  believe it.  we all cant stand it yet we see its beauty, the magic of it.  were travelers here, wanderers, we wanna go home but the suitcase is still packed and were living out of it.  U HAVE A MILLION CHOICES.  so ur ANGRY.  good.  u should be. look on the bright side--if all goes well, theres only 5 to 10 more yrs of this shit as we know it, after 2007. yippee. whaddaya worried about then? 

we all get up every sucking day, ANYWAY and do bodily functions, eat a little, go on the net, talk a little to others, pay a few bills, and LAUGH ALOT HOPEFULLY.  theres not a great msytery to it, other than our studies, our loves, our relationships, what we have done for ourselves and others.  do for ur mom, help her out, talk to EVERYBODY, go and hook up somewhere wheres theres suffering and smell it.

so consider ur probably ascending--check out signs and symptoms of ascension.  u got em.  who in the hell would wanna live here in 3d?  jesus christ--give urself a break.  ur a spiritual warrior like the rest of us here so go with that and find out what ur job/role is with that.  read INTO ur past--do more self-discovery.  that is all that matters. develop ur heroic talents.  ur smarter and more worldly than ur naive therapist(s). u have apparently been around the block, and its pointless to see someone who does not have the same or similar life experiences as u in that vein, so u r wasting time, energy and money and those that have not seen "the world" and will not be helpful to u. u have 'tested" them and they failed ur test.  good one, nice game, so u can move on from that now.

u r powerful, and young.  not an easy predicament. can tell by ur writing style, u have a high IQ.  ur talented, a thinker, a wise man, who is sorta forlorn, but mainly DISAPPOINTED most of all. eh?  do a gratitude journal, a worry journal, and a dream journal for a few days.  write everything down.  get carthartic with urself.  stare ur demons in the fuckin' eye, call em out in the shower.  make em show themselves. then watch "old yeller" and then cry a little and see how u feel later.

Osmedirez-- I think what you're going through is a pretty common experience. I too just turned 25 years and went through something similar for about two years, before everything suddenly took a turn for the better some months ago. It's a result of the hopes and dreams we had as kids. We grew up thinking the world was a certain way, and that if we did certain things, we'd be happy and everything would be perfect, because we thought we knew exactly what would make as happy. And then we learn that things that made us happy, stop making us happy.

I'm sure many here can relate to this: As children and adolescents, we had tremendous inspiration and ideas that we believed could make the world a better place, and that the world would adopt these ideas. But this world is filled with old energies, stuck in a deep rut. It's very slow to change direction. I think every human generation experiences this somewhat. Some people on the other hand don't have grand visions for this world or even their own life. These are the people who revel in mediocrity, accept things as they are and just try to fit in with the "herd."

I know a lot of people have been talking about losing interest in the things they used to enjoy. This has happened to me too. I don't know if this is a result of changing planetary energies, or if it's just a common human experience. I have a feeling it's related to the former. It seems as though we're being reborn, and first we have to purge ourselves. Part of that purging includes re-examining of WHY we do certain things or why we had an interest in something in the first place. As we evolve, our priorities will change. If we, and the planet, are really evolving and moving into greater dimensional experience, our desires are likely to change drastically. When you become an adult, do you still want to play with children's toys? Probably not, because they are so simplistic and don't challenge you anymore. If you've lost interest in something, it's for good reason. Don't be afraid of leaving behind a once-cherished hobby or toy. The reason you don't it enjoy it anymore is because you don't enjoy it anymore! It's that simple, in my opinion. Find something new and challenging instead to spend your time on. Spend a few weeks conquering one of your fears. That can be fun and exhilarating in itself.

As for practical advice: take baby steps. There's nothing wrong with being unsure or undecided about your future. This IS something wrong with being afraid to try something to break free of the indecision. Take a small step in one direction, but don't commit to it unless it feels right. For instance, don't move 2000 miles away on a whim without first visiting the place to see how it feels to you. If it doesn't feel right, go back and try door #2. And keep cancelling out options until you strike gold.