Topic: I am having difficulty finding purpose
This is not advice, but a question. I have learned many concepts on here that should set one free. In a way they do. But they also have brought on a depression. Simply put if this reality is just an illusion then whats the point? Many times I am astoundingly angry and depressed and in my free time all I do is lay in bed, or waste time on the internet. A thought will come to my mind to do something constructive, but I analyse it and my answer becomes whats the point. Why don't I go on to grad school, fix my car, clean my room, learn computer programing, practice socializing, work out, invest my money. I always seem to rationlise that it isn't worth the effort. I somehow rationalise that I will feel better if I just lay there, rather then putting forth an effort to something constructive. But the end result is always the same I lay there depressed.
I've learned that words, understanding, knowlege don't entirely help me out of this. I know that I will be depressed if I lay there, but overwhelming urge (that I listen to) is to lay there. What reasons do people have for going on? All the ones I have tried don't seem to inspire me.