Hi JT,
I only just now read your post detailing further your ayahausca experience (I was at work and unable to spend any real time here today or post anything lengthy and meaningful) Just wanted to say thank you for the compliments, and thank you for sharing your experiences. It's been fascinating to read.
I've had two experiences involving some kind of waking up / alternate perception of reality which I still don't fully understand what was happening. Even though they're not really an Ayahausca or other dimensional experience, they're still interesting I think. The most recent of these happened at the end of 2002, when I was at work in the middle of the most mundane tasks. I was standing at the printer, waiting for a print job to come out, staring out the window at the blue sky and palm trees and clouds, spacing out and feeling calm and blank and mellow when I suddenly "woke up." I don't know what else to call it, for lack of a better term. I was standing there, and all of a sudden it was like surfacing from underwater and looking around. I **woke up**, and as I stood there at the printer, I was suddenly like, (and excuse the language but this is what went through my head) "WHAT THE F*** AM I DOING HERE?!?!? WHAT THE F*** AM AM I DOING HERE?!?!? THIS IS ME!!!!"
It's not that I didn't know where I was. I knew exactly where I was. The only way to explain it is if you suddenly woke up and realized you'd been sleepwalking through life, and now were suddenly totally and completely clear headed, and looked around and saw what your life had become during that time, and then felt absolute horror. I felt like I couldn't believe what this character of "me" had been doing. I really don't know how to describe this, it goes back to that whole "proverbial egg" thing JT's mentioned before, where if you've never eaten an egg, you'd have a hard time understanding a description of what it tastes and feels like.
I looked around bug eyed, feeling this bizarre, clear headed awakeness and horror, then just as mysteriously as this happened, I felt myself "slipping back under the waves" again, going back to being mellow, able to exist in this world in a complacent, accepting manner. I could literally feel the transition, and it really felt like slipping back underwater again.
If that feeling hadn't gone away I'm not sure what would have happened. This was like nothing I'd ever experienced before, and I hope never to feel this way again because to be that "awake" is to be totally unable to exist in this realm. It's a complete and total mismatch incompatibility. Existing in 3D means to exist in dream-like state of amnesia, and blissful illusion. But certainly not total and complete clearheaded awakeness. And people reading this may think they're clearheaded and awake, but let me tell you....think again. Sure, I'm "clearheaded" and "awake" as I write this, fully aware of what I'm doing, totally in control of my thoughts and feelings, writing coherantly, able to talk about that moment of clearheadedness......but it's nowhere even NEAR what that moment of clearheadedness felt like. Even our most "awake" moment here during the day is still like being in a dream-like state of blissful illusion. And even when we're stressing about bills and money and other daily survival things it's like dream logic, dream nonsense. There's just no comparison. We think we're awake, but we're definately not. So luckily it only lasted for a few seconds. If it had lasted for hours, or even days, or worse....forever....I would not have been able to keep going with the charade of life. I would have been some crazy person you see out there, unable to exist in reality like everybody else. Makes you wonder about some of the crazy people out there, the ones classified as schizophrenic, living homeless in the streets, wandering around having conversations with people we don't see, talking to the air, seeming to exist in an entirely different world from us. I think some of them may be unfortunately getting glimpses of other realms, or having multidimensional bleedovers that they can't control.
Interestingly enough, that same day I had my "moment of clarity"
I also experienced an involuntarily spontaneous mini-Kundalini burst later in the evening. Never had one of those before, and until it happened, I didn't believe in it really, or at least was indifferent to the concept. So I had two brand new sensations / experiences in the same day. The Kundalini thing was TRIPPY. It originated at the base of my spine just like they talk about, and shot up like warm tingly firey liquid, I could feel it move up and hit the base of my neck, and then spread down both arms simultaneously into my hands and fingertips, all the while, as I literally felt like crawling out of my own skin. I laid down on the floor, wiggling all over, feeling like I wanted to squirm out of my own body, as this warm tingly firey liquid feeling coursed through my system. Supposedly that was just a small Kundalini burst. I really don't ever care to have a full Kundalini experience! So incredibly bizarre, like nothing you've ever felt before. What trips me out is, here's something the human body is capable of, but which most people will never experience and feel. So makes you wonder then......how much more is the human body able to do that we don't know about?!?! ?!?!?! Here we think of our bodies as this thing that just moves around, gets us from point A to point B, eats, sleeps, expels wastes, reproduces, and nothing else really. But no! Turns out is slices and dices!! It chops and purees!! haha
But anyway, just makes me wonder though how much potential stuff we're not even tapping into. That's why I've been fascinated reading this thread. Thanks to everybody for sharing their experiences.
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy shit ... what a ride!" - Anonymous
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"I get by with a little help from my (higher density) friends."
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