Topic: a sudden insight, perhaps
Posting just today, I made two different ones, and putting them together, this compartmentalizing of information seems to come together in some form of new theory that jumped out at me. Tell me what you think.
Post 1:
Hello. I'm new to this place, and this topic piqued my curiosity, since I have some experiences with it.
My sleep paralysis began when I was around 20 or so, and was triggered by smoking marijuana, more than likely laced with something else. Occasionally, I used to smoke pot to get out of a rut or something; always for that purpose, never recreational. Anyway, my brothers and I all had a bad trip that night because of that certain batch of the stuff. One became really sad, the other really frightened. My own experience was scary for me. I felt that my hand wanted to hit someone. Scared the crap out of me. I remember trying to run off (we were in the desert at the time), thinking, "It's going to happen, it's finally going to happen." God knows what that meant. I don't.
For some time after that, actually, maybe a month or so, I would get that impulse of violence, I suppose you'd call it, whenever I was near someone. The sleep paralysis also started to occur. I'd wake up, paralyzed, with the feeling that something was coming down the hall. I remember thinking all of this was some evil, demonic thing. I remember silently begging to be taken to a church, calling out to God. Or, at least, trying. During the paralysis, I couldn't say a thing.
It all culminated one night, when I finally faced it and thought, "I accept it. I'll just let this evil pass through me. It is a part of me, and I won't fight it." If that was the right thing to do, I don't know, but it made it stop. At least, from being so overwhelming. It stopped for quite awhile, at least. I thought, in the end, that this was all it was, this bad side in me.
To this day, however, I have anxiety, in small doses. If I was any more unaware, they would probably turn into panic attacks. It's been a constant battle, a tiring battle, to slowly learn not to worry, that I am in control when it comes down to it. Most of the attacks, you see, are really only this anxiety of an impulse, say, of throwing up, fainting, screaming out, whatever. Just this impulse. The fear of that, of losing control, which is probably what it is more than anything else, makes it a whole lot worse. As it is, I don't like the anxiety, but at the same time, I appreciate it because it means I'm tapping into some depth. I don't know.
These days, I can tell when I'm going to have sleep paralysis. It's this faint feeling of dread. It's like knowing that I'm not going to totally fall asleep, and be trapped in this nether-world between sleeping and waking. I avoid it at all costs, waking myself up every ten minutes or so just so I don't totally fall asleep and wake up paralyzed. It also means bad dreams. Recently, I went through a night of this, and just turned on the television. Light helps, psychologically, I figure. Sometimes I wait for the dawn, knowing that the light will stop it.
Also, before I forget, I remember one time, being in that semi-awake stage, of hearing something using my restroom, taking a leak. I thought, "how vulgar." That particular night was one of those "attack nights". I had also felt being lifted off my bed, about a foot or so, and looked up, seeing this dark haired girl above me. I don't think that she's a bad spirit. I've seen the girl before, to my reckoning, before my daughter was born. I think perhaps she's a guardian or something. But what do I know?
These days, I have more bad dreams than ever. In fact, I don't ever remember having a bad dream when I was younger. Accompanying this, however, in any dream, is the knowledge that I can fly. It doesn't matter the dream, I just know I can fly. It can be a normal dream, until I remember that I can fly. It's just a given in my dream state. "Oh, yeah, I can fly," and I fly. It's not those stumbling around flying dreams, it's pure control. So, I'm happy about that.
So, what else can I remember? Street lamps go off when I come near, too, on occasion. I figured it was just something normal that lights do, but it is odd that it happens as soon as I'm coming near. Of course, that could just be filtering on my part. I also remember being half-asleep one day, in that region of uncomfortable half state, and seeing my brothers come into the room. One, this pot-head, wild, long-haired guy, came into the room sporting antlers! I figure it's a part of his nature, this animal spirit thingy. Also, this one time, my friend and I were walking (I used to go for walks ALL the time), at night, when we both heard, in our right ear, this "beam". You could feel the depression of it in the ear, this quick, solid "beeep".
Well, that's about all I can remember. There's a whole lot o' things that I've experienced, nothing too out there. Just wanted to pipe in with this sleep paralysis thing.
Post 2:
Personally, I think 23 has something to do with the aliens. This comes through in a variety of ways. One auther, Robert Anton Wilson, seems to regard 23 as something to do with Sirius. July 23 was the beginning of the new year for the Egyptians, who worshipped Isis and Osiris, and the dog star was the symbol for those two gods. The dark star, Sirius B, represents Osiris, and occultist say that the rite for Osiris includes the secret that Osiris is a dark god, or a black god. I forget which. It's called the dark rite, I think. The tarot of the star has an ancient symbol of Isis, with the star above the archetypical depiction of this feminine principle. Wilson is big-time into synchronicity, and noticed the 23 and other Egyptian related happenings during his hypothesis that he was getting communications from Sirius.
From my own experience, 23 seems to crop up in relation to aliens, particularly the greys. It's like an unconscious thing, mostly picked up by creative peoples. Though hardly an authority, South Park in particular picks up this alien thingy. In one episode, when the big antenna was coming out of Cartman's ass. Anyway, the hangar where they finally uncovered the antenna was hangar 23. Also, the scientist came to his conclusions through a series of connections. Silly connections, of course, and maybe a joke on synchronicity or something, but it shows this connection with these little events meaning something. There are some other things in other areas, but I can't remember any of them, which might mean there isn't much to this theory.
Also, when I was younger, I was into the swords and sorcery fantasy sort of things, and made up stories all the time. Well, this one being I had made up in my stories as this god-like creature, strictly neutral in the affairs of good and evil, that I imagined my hero had some struggles against. Before I had learned of greys or knew anything about them, I had imagined this being as a tall version of a grey. It had the same white-like skin and big black eyes, the difference being that my version had long black claws, tall black horns, and a pair of bat-like wings. Now, remember, that this was before I knew about aliens, and I certainly don't remember basing it on any idea of an alien. I can almost guarantee that. If anything, it was subconscious. Anyway, the funny thing is, and this didn't strike me until later, way later, that the being's name, for reasons unknown, was Winchestor. I didn't make the connection until recently, that W is the 23rd letter of the alphabet. Now, that may not be enough, but placing it all together, and going through my own 23 synchronicities (before I knew of synchronicities and number connections, I had been seing 311 a lot. That was why I started looking into numbers popping up in the first place and found out about the 23.), I'm pretty sure that if there is something to coincidences, this all fits together.
"T e l o c h Of one so-called: T E L O CH = 203 Allocating Tzaddi (final) to T = 1013 or 10 + 13 = 23
32 is the number of total manifestion. It is Ichid - ego/self - the prism through which is projected phenomenal manifestation on the obverse of the Tree. 32 is of the Tree of Life (obverse / manifestation / being / phenomena). 23 is the reverse of 32. Hence, 23 is the number emblematic of the other or reverse side of the Tree. 23 is the essence of the Tree of Death (reverse / non-manifestaion / non-being / noumena). 23 'manifests' by dividing itself (into being): 2 · 3 = .666 (the Beast). As 666 is to 32, so 23 is to the reverse of 666 that is 999. – The Beast 'made flesh' is a reflection or ingress of 23 / 999 (noumena) into phenomena as 32 / 666.
On another level, 23 signals the chaotic state between two stable states. As such, it fits into the category of 'inbetweenness'. It is therefore one of those things which is Not. 23 is one from the demonic hosts of Non-being about to invade Being. The 93 Current will split apart the unconsciously created world we inhabit. 23 is not identical with 93, but an emanation from it. 203, as the extension of 23, reveals its full nature. 0 as the dis-illusion within 203 is the ingress from, and the gateway to, the Nightside. There will be more on these matters, and its implications."
What I think is that this whole alien thing is something sinister, or against what we have the potential for.
That's it.
Now, what I saw in these two posts is some sort of theme. It all came to me when I posted this part, something I hadn't seen before today, and just did as something to add some possible meaning to the relation of 23 to the alien phenomenon:
32 is the number of total manifestion. It is Ichid - ego/self - the prism through which is projected phenomenal manifestation on the obverse of the Tree. 32 is of the Tree of Life (obverse / manifestation / being / phenomena). 23 is the reverse of 32. Hence, 23 is the number emblematic of the other or reverse side of the Tree. 23 is the essence of the Tree of Death (reverse / non-manifestaion / non-being / noumena). 23 'manifests' by dividing itself (into being): 2 · 3 = .666 (the Beast). As 666 is to 32, so 23 is to the reverse of 666 that is 999. – The Beast 'made flesh' is a reflection or ingress of 23 / 999 (noumena) into phenomena as 32 / 666.
On another level, 23 signals the chaotic state between two stable states. As such, it fits into the category of 'inbetweenness'. It is therefore one of those things which is Not. 23 is one from the demonic hosts of Non-being about to invade Being. The 93 Current will split apart the unconsciously created world we inhabit. 23 is not identical with 93, but an emanation from it. 203, as the extension of 23, reveals its full nature. 0 as the dis-illusion within 203 is the ingress from, and the gateway to, the Nightside. There will be more on these matters, and its implications."
It talks about the beast the beast and the manifestation of the beast. Also, with my sleep paralysis and 23 signifying the category of "inbetweenness", and that abduction occurs and is carried out in this inbetween state. Now, if what I have come to assume, that 23 relates to this grey alien in some way (and I've certainly heard that some people believe that these greys are demonic entities), then the thing about "23 is one from the demonic hosts of Non-being about to invade Being" certainly takes on a new light. From these beliefs that these demonic fallen beings, posing as greys to slip in as saviors as soon as armeggeddon is commenced and they are thrown out of their place in the skies, I could assume that this 23 is a warning of some sort, or some unavoidable by-product, like 2+2 being the sign that 4 is coming. Also of interest is the part "0 as the dis-illusion within 203 is the ingress from, and the gateway to, the Nightside."
I don't know. It certainly caught my attention, and comes together in a strange sort of way. It will certainly stay in my mind for awhile.
* Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
* People want platitudes, not progress.