Created to exist? Or not?

A lot of what we might consider STO which is the far side from STS as the pendulum swings, might ultimately be, when all is said and done, whatever we like or are attracted to.  How often has a person or group of people, attempted to do what they feel is of benefit to all concerned, only to find in the end that it had the opposite effect?  When a person is put into, or volunteers to be a leader of others, they have to make decisions and have certain things be done.  They mess up all the time, and particularly so if they are corruptible.  I suppose everyone is susceptible to corruption, it is when leaders have a weakness of character that makes them especially inclined to it, that many negative effects occur.  I don't think there is a person who would actually describe themselves as evil.  Strange, isn't it?  Since we see so much evil occur.  I suppose it is easy to rationalize selfishness.

I consider this Globe the middle Earth.  There are three before it, each one descending from ethereality to the dense matter we are at now.  Three after this one, ascending toward the more ethereal from this first gradation to the fourth.  We are really limited in our over-all awareness on this Globe.  We can't see far-ranging effects from our causes very well.  I'm just trying to improve the mind of my emotion and desire aspect.  The people who speak of things like meditation and astral realm conscience and doing things consciously on that plane, are going above and beyond what we are right now.  Before I immerse myself in such things, I'm trying to learn as much as I can about it, which really means I'm simply delaying the time that I rid myself of habits that I'm inured to.

It is still true that everything you are looking for is within you.  From the Divine came the first Cause.  This Divine World is in you in the form of a ray of emanation which is also a connection unbroken.

Can we clarify what Service-to-Self and Service-to-Others is ?

I've never been clear on that.

A while back a close friend of mine asked me for some advice concerning how to talk sense to one of her son's friends, who was talking about joining a Satanic cult. I wrote this back to her, and it pretty much sums up how I would answer your question. Personally, I think that not all people are ready for adopting an STO mindset in this lifetime. This is because the path of least resistance is a seductive lure for those unable or unwilling to develop the necessary discipline. While initially easier, the culture of eat or be eaten becomes more and more difficult the farther you get into it, and it's sometimes near the end when a genuine understanding for some finally becomes possible.

While both paths (STO/STS) do have their purposes within this limited framework, it's quite clear that once past a certain point, the only genuine use for STS is to be used by STO to initiate action elsewhere. It's really that simple, since STS will generally move if it believes that there is an opportunity to feed, while STO can feed from ANY point of stillness...

Here's what I wrote:

Hmmm,

First off, I'm going to say that I'm not a spiritual guru or someone who is even remotely interested in "saving" others, since it's not my job. Further, as a Gnostic, my definitions of Good/Evil Darkness/Light are significantly different than conventional/orthodox ideas but they are still deeply set within STO (Service To Others) principle. I would rather talk to you and your friend about this, because writing about it is really rather frustrating, as there are too many concepts to cover adequately. I'll do my best and try to "talk someone out" but understand that I'm more interested in giving them all the information needed to make an informed decision, and to clarify what such a choice really means.

I suppose if wondering what the point of staying on the positive/good/light path is, that would really depend on what someone's personal beliefs and level of awareness are first. The truth is that there are benefits and liabilities of ANY path, and knowing what you're getting into is far more important than blindly picking sides for any reason.

For example, if you don't believe in an afterlife, value only the comfort, power, and success of yourself and a small number of like-minded individuals, and have no regard for the needs of others outside your peer group or for society as a whole, you will find that going along a negative/evil/dark path to be much easier and more beneficial, provided that you can keep your intentions and acts within moderation, or if not, if you can at least prevent others from finding out the truth and punishing you for it. You'd be very surprised and probably horrified to know how many of our political, social, economic, and military elites are really truly debauched and perverted beyond what you or I would call acceptable, but if you take into consideration some of the choices that these people must make as a matter of course, then it really isn't all that surprising.

There are some problems with following this (what I call an STS - Service To Self) path - primarily that it's only valid if you TRULY believe that this life is all there is, and that there's no afterlife or judgment. If this is your truth, then it doesn't matter what others need/want/think/feel, does it? Your only real concern is getting caught, right? If you can get away with it, and if you can force everyone else to go along with it, then you "win!" A serious problem occurs when you come to believe that there IS more to life than what you can sensually experience, followed by ideas that there is more to come afterwards, and then the idea that you'll be forced to "pay" for your deeds in the next life will be a most certain and terrifying prospect.

You also have to take into consideration that the more enlightened perspectives such as charity, mercy, and tolerance are NOT a part of this path, (and are considered a fatal sign of weakness by your contemporaries) so you'll have to achieve your goals alone, unless you're willing to trust someone and grant them the opportunity to betray you if the person you're trusting ever realizes that they can, and you should actually expect them to if it's convenient and in their best interest to do so.

Another problem is that there is ALWAYS someone else who is bigger, badder, meaner, stronger, tougher, younger, older, healthier, hungrier, smarter, faster, richer, more spiritual, more psychic, more talented, more socially adept, more educated, more experienced, more magical, more ruthless, better looking, or better connected than you, and even if you do manage to get to the top, you'll find that getting there was the EASY part! Now that there isn't anyone left as a target to pursue, the new difficulty comes from those below you who see things the same way you do, and who now want what you have. KEEPING it is the hard part, and it insures that once at the top, you'll never have the opportunity to rest or relax to enjoy your position, because everyone else is gunning for you, and you're always in their sights.

This also means that if you were able to trust someone before, doing so from the top becomes impossible, and what's worse is that you never know exactly where the new threat is coming from, since you must now contend with ALL possible threats. This is the main reason why fools who get into power often lose it quickly, because they lash out at any perceived threat, which alienates everyone in sight, especially if their target happened to be innocent.

Remember that even the best people need regular breaks and time off, if only to protect their health. This is why so many high-powered individuals have heart attacks, strokes, and nervous breakdowns - they are too afraid to let go and it kills them. Then again, if you ever do get knocked out of the top, you'd better pray that the loss of station kills you, since you may find that once you've gotten to the top, lost it, and can't get it back, it's usually better having never been there in the first place.

-3G

Auscastian wrote:  The Fear....

It holds me back....

And its this fear that I sometimes get the feeling that knowing a lot of this stuff is actually a detriment to who I am.  But deep down inside I know it's not.

And I get "paranoid" that I'm heading in the wrong direction because I'm scared. 

Things have been difficult lately and I'm just trying to do my best and I look at it as if thats not good enough than maybe, in the grand scheme of things I'm just not cut out for "The Service"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not paranoid about going in the wrong direction only in that it is what I have already done so many times.  There are already existing results from the many and various wrong choices I've made.  Many times I've been stewing in a pot of rage or shame, contrition, embarrassment, despondency or regret.  I enter into these states, tormented for hours.  In the end, it is intellect that finally arrives to look at all the mess and arrange it into order.  I suspect that most people do not rate intellect very high; due either to their opinion that they already utilize it in most of their decision making, or it's equated with scientist's who mostly seem to spurn spirituality.  In both, you can find the ludicrous. 

The scientist who out of necessity of chosen endeavor must use intellect; will resort back to the psycho-mental or emotional to use an 'occam' or speculation, to arrive at a conclusion, when his intellect has arrived at a plateau or rather, stopped at a wall due to the requirement of further data input.

The people who claim they always use intellect are liars.  They are suggesting that there is never any hint of like or dislike, attraction or revulsion, in their decision making.  I don't recall ever meeting anyone making this claim, and my believing them.  I don't believe them either because I have not known them long enough for observation, or I do know them. 

Now, this will be extremely unattractive to many people.  -That statement is vaguely amusing for some reason-.  I suspect that if a person is operating purely from the intellectual, that person has unfolded from their inner essence, the Christ consciousness, the realm of the Third Heaven.  It really is not such an exalted state, there are still many reasons for humility.  The higher an individual ascends, the more there is to see which is still unattained.  Intellect, unconditional willingness to give aid and comfort, a smile and a carressing thought to you all.  I still don't completely understand levity.  Excuse me, I just yawned.

Meditation can help garner self-awareness,  which is basically essential in allowing us to choose the path we're embarking upon. Yet for those who have a high probability of being STS, then that's how it goes, and although it may seem like a shame to us, it's just a cosmic balancing act. And they will come back around at some point.
Realizing when you're being "targeted" emotionally, psychically, in nightmares, etc. is crucial, but you have to know yourself before you can recognize these discrepancies.
As for predetermination, I think even those who seemingly are "designed" for STS have made countless choices in previous lives to reinforce their current state. The only artist in life is freewill, and some people need to experience that side of the coin so they can learn. As much as the actual actions these individuals commit are pretty horrendous and f*cked up, perhaps their actions will be the catalyst for others to increase their levels of self-awareness...and to hopefully, instead of emulating their torturers, they find another way.