Is it coming... Soon?

Bring it on!!

I haven't posted here in a while, but I have a lot to say to this post (and largely in agreement), however I need to chew on how exactly to phrase what I want to say.

In the meantime though, I just wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone in this feeling.

Funny, I picked up the Tibetan Book of the Dead today. I walked into my favorite used books store (a small, but quality metaphysics section, the only part of any bookstore I ever seem to use!) thinking that I'd like to read something ancient and important. And there it was. I've always considered the possibility that physical death could be a part of ascension, at least for some people. But I don't really think it is in my case.

I to have long predicted that it really gets going in 2008. For no other reason than blind intuition.

I guess it's nice we wont have to wait too long... time is so fast these days!

So I started my long reply by quoting much of Mencius' post and responding point by point, but I realized it's unnecessary.  I'll just confirm a few things you're running into that resemble the state I'm currently in...

I've had the "rollercoaster" too, craziness mixed with lulls (mired in doubt), but I no longer doubt the meaning of those lulls either.  Enough of them have now happened, almost always after a major "levelling up" moment, that I trust them as just being part of the process, and so I no longer have any fear of "falling off the rails" as I once did.  The path is set, it is a good one, and even if my lower conscious mind may not always understand it, it has never led me astray and therefore I trust it.

I have also entered a state of general abstinence from a great many of the indulgences I used to have.  I don't entirely abstain from sex, but I don't desire it as much as I used to, and most of the desire that remains is for the benefit of my partner and the inherent understanding that, like it or not, for now I'm still in this 3D body and since energy must flow otherwise it becomes stagnant, some of that flow is going to end up being sexual in nature.  I tried to fight this for a long time, and fighting it only ended up making things worse.  I've now found that as long as I keep my intention as that of a desire for energy circulation on all levels (rather than a selfish desire for a few seconds of base physical pleasure), I no longer get the negative energetic backlash from the result.

The other main indulgences were chemical in nature, but I'd been gradually phasing them out over time simply because their energetic contribution no longer seemed to fit me.  One of the first to go was alcohol, and at this point I may have a rare glass of wine or a single beer but the frequency is far less than before (and it wasn't much even then); I've found the sensation of alcohol's spirit-dampening effect to be absolutely intolerable.  I also stopped the MJ after it started making me intensely paranoid, and stopped other various "recreational sidekicks" for similar directly negative reasons.

But the one I finally decided to put away most recently is a specific response to the same energy you discuss with this "this time it's different" post, and that's acid (which when clean is a sacrament of the ergot fungus, given that ergot is used for its chemical foundation and it can't be synthesized without it; the "synthesis" itself is more a matter of distillation into a small enough dosage safe for human consumption.  I say this because many people think of acid in the same "dirty synthetic" manner as they think of other truly synthetic chemicals, but they really shouldn't in this case as the essence of a real fungus is still there).  I used to absolutely love it, and once every few months I would use it in a positive environment for spiritual reasons, as I had a deep and abiding sense that the energy I was exposed to "out there" was of a higher frequency than my default state, and thus the acid's effect of opening my third eye chakra wider (albeit for a short time) was beneficial to me.  And for a long time, it definitely was (I had no concerns about aura holes or anything, as I made a very deliberate effort of treating the ergot spirit's contribution with the utmost respect, and that respect was always treated in kind.  To this day I am still very grateful for all that I was taught during those experiences).

What happened then though is that, as of earlier this year, for the first time in over a decade of occasional use, the energy from "out there" started not being that much of a higher frequency than my normal state.  Then around summer time, it hit approximate equilibrium.  And then (and this is when I really noticed it), it started going in the opposite direction, and the energy I was taking in was of a lower density than I am sober.  Nothing about my circumstances of taking it had changed for the worse or anything, I just noticed that I wasn't getting the same thing out of it.  And it wasn't a matter of physical acclimation either, as the intensity of the experience was still just as strong.  It's just that what my third eye was perceiving, wasn't beneficial to me anymore; I was already there, and the acid either didn't change things, or only made it worse.

The clincher though was when I got a final "lesson" that kicked me up to a place where I know that it's no longer necessary for me, and that's when on my most recent experience, I got a deep sense that a dark renegade spirit out there considered the brightness of my spirit to be extremely attractive, and for the next approximately two days, I can honestly say that I was partially possessed.  But even while it was happening, my core being was still there, and I knew that this was a challenge I had to face; I had to learn to rid myself of an attack on my very identity.  It was a critical "test".  And so after those two days, I went and meditated and reaffirmed unequivocally what my intentions for my life path were and intensely visualized myself back on that path, and I remember distinctly this moment where I felt an enormous "rush" of that dark energy out of my body and I felt like myself again, but even more, I felt like that dark spirit had taken with it some of the dark aspects of me that I had previously been unable to shed on my own... as if during the course of that brief semi-possession, those aspects (or attachments) that were hooked deep in to me, were transferred to this other spirit, because they resonated more together than with me, and so when I finally shed that dark being, it all went away at once.

The state I've been in since then has been absolutely profound, and was by far one of the most amazing of these "level up" moments in my journey.  What's interesting is that since then (and this happened about a month ago), all kinds of external events have started changing in my life, and time itself has taken on an extremely odd quality.  The past month feels like it's taken forever, like I've had that timeline-shifting long-scale deja vu feeling again, but for an entire month and much more intensely than before.  I went to go pay some bills the other day and thought I must be massively late in paying them, only to realize that I was right on time.  Then I thought back to what I was doing three weeks ago and thought "holy crap, that was only three weeks ago?  Are you kidding me?"

And during all this, I've also become somewhat reclusive and serious, as have the few definite light-side friends I have.  I've gone back into mundane land (focusing on work and such) but this time it doesn't feel like it's because I fell off the rails or anything, more like a sense that "yup, we're all set now, I'm just gonna ride this out for a little bit now".

There's this weird air of finality to a lot of what's going on right now, and I keep looking at people and situations and events in a very different manner, where anything even remotely artificial or fake is so obviously transparent it's not even funny, and I can look at the temporal ramifications of any choice I make almost instantly as if it's happening all at the same time.

And I was thinking the other day that "it wouldn't surprise me at all if aliens showed up next.  They'd be right on time."  Then this whole thing on CNN started.  And there's something about that blue comet that feels different and somehow plays into all of this.

The one thing I know for absolute certain is that all of this is a Good Thing.  I feel absolutely no fear in any of these changes, except for the base egoic fear I get when I see things like the economy falling apart, and that reaction is always quickly tempered (I can smell it as being my ego trying to feed my energy into such a concern when my true self knows that it's nothing to really be concerned about; anything being cleared is just being cleared to make room for the next thing that needs to arrive in its place).

Anyway, this is probably long enough now.  But yes, things feel quite different these days indeed.

Mencius....You might find what Karen Bishop has to say here ties in with how you are feeling  http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com