Topic: My transcendental Aya expreience

OK, where to start.  I think I will be going over some stuff that I already covered in the Ayahausca visions post but here goes. 

My experience with ayahausca was one those things that can't be conveyed using words.  I entered states where I couldn't understand the concept of linear time, where I laughed at the absurdity of our concept of past and future, were I was unable to distinguish whether I was the person full of Ayahausca laying on the beach, or the memories I was traveling through, or even if I was my parents.  I would try and discover who I was and each time I would notice that I was more.  Until I realized that I was the whole universe and everything in it. 

I saw and understood the aspects of the matrix.  I saw multidimensional beings in the sky.  I saw the world built of florescent pulsating eyes.   I saw beings sitting around me on a deck who were not really there.  I saw these human like entities beckon to me through a tear in reality that entered into another dimension.  I went to a place that I call the fringe reality.  It is the border between this reality of logic and consequence and the reality of total chaos.  In the fringe reality there were fairys, and elves and fairy tale creatures, and it must have been in a 4th dimensional reality because the arrangement of things does not make sense to me now. 

Through most of these journeys I remember being absolutely terrified, and knowing I could never return to my life talking about houses, and baseball and girls if I remembered what I had seen with any detail.  I remember cycling through my fears, like what if I go crazy and I answered my self "It doesn't f*&^ing matter".  What if I get fired by my job?  "It doesn't f*&^ing matter"  In this place an absolute realization of the pointlessness of our day to day worries was astoundingly apparent.  Why do I say this?  Because at one point I remembered being eternal and how things used to be, to where the life I live now was so distance from my thoughts I almost forgot I ever lived this life. 

I am fairly sure that "DMT" opens up your third eye.  And by opening up your third eye, I mean allow the soul, or mind outside of the body.  It makes sense to me that the turning off of the third eye was the fall of man.  It was when man lost it's connection to the infinite and began believing it was the human creature that it inhabited.  This is when we became fair game for all the other entities that feed off of us.  With your third eye open you can see them right in front of your face, taunting you prodding you, angry that you can see them.  They are really nasty devils and their presence is just awful feeling.  The feeling of them is the feeling of panick.  Like the external energy of a panic being forced upon you. 

Unless you find a way to naturally turn on your third eye, this experience seems to be the best thing you can do to understand those things you've read about but just don't make sense to your simple human brain.  It's because as long as your limited by the thinking power of your brain it becomes impossible to see multidimensionality.  A very interesting thing I noticed is that how everything that was seen during the trip was slowly forgotten as you came down because I was no longer capable of comprehending what I saw.  I came away with an absolute terror but a genuinely good feeling at the memory of the wonders outside of this place.  All the creativity has been sucked out of our human experience.  It really is dismal in comparison.  Having your third eye is like being able to experience any story or concept rather then to watch it premanfuactured and sterilized on a telivision. 

A nice little catch phrase I came back with:  "Our minds do not exist inside this universe, the universe exists within our minds"  By mind I do not mean brain, and by our I mean Gods, of whom we are all a part, everything in existence is of one being and there is nothing that is not.

"...But Nothing is Lost:" "Nothing lasts... nothing lasts. Everything is changing into something else. Nothing's wrong. Nothing is wrong. Everything is on track. William Blake said nothing is lost and I believe that we all move on." - Terrence McKenna - Shpongle - But Nothing Is Lost

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Cap, that was most interesting, as was your first post in Aya's thread.

Did you want to stay there? Were you aware (during) that you couldn't?

Did it feel like everything was just a 'holodeck'?

And, has this exp made you understand your 'purpose' or has it made you care less about that?

Sorry that's a lot of ?s.... but I played around with paper trip about 15 years ago, and it did have a profound and lasting effect, so I am just curious as to how it is for you dealing with the day to day BS after such an experience.

It was difficult for me, for many months
to "come down", it was a very hard time in my life, the hardest..... but I know that I grew spiritually after that, and I knew it was a rite of passage I had
planned for myself, I did it for introspection, not recreation.

After that, I no longer felt any need to dig deeper, I never had visions- acid seems to let you go where you want to- I had no desire to hallucinate, and I didn't. I experienced the sensory supersensitivity, absolutely mindblowing, I heard conversations over city traffic at unbelievable distances, every sense was amplified 50 fold, and yet I know it doesn't compare to aya or dmt.

How have things changed for you thus far Capitan? I'm sure many of us would love to hear more.... cool           J

Happy to have been a part

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

It's really great that such substances are out there to truly increase the capabilities of our 3rd eye. It seems we've been "shut down" to some extent, and there's so many theories as to why we had to fall from such great heights. Personally, I've always felt that it was the introduction of negative energies, particularly cunning ones especially (ala the Snake in the Garden of Eden) that led us down this path, playing us against our ego's and our desire to have our powers heightened. Then once we're thoroughly devoted to building the ivory tower upwards and outwards, the clouds of darkness gather around us as a pirate ship is drawn to the golden-terraced city of false-light. I guess I'm comparing this to the idea of Lucifer and Ahriman.
First comes the temptation, then the deception, then the undoing. Hehe, hope this makes sense. And if you're around Capitan (it's Friday night), come to the IRC channel!

"Don't eat any wooden nickels."

4 (edited by Natural Mystic 2007-04-06 19:41:24)

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Thanks for sharing Capitan.  Very inspiring!

"Beyond the stars a new world awaits me now" - Wintersun

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Those last few sentences, the universe exists within our (God's) mind, really struck me. Nisargadatta talks about this extensively in "I Am That". I would surmise that my self(mind) exists within the universe which exists within my (God's) awareness.

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Just awesome, Capitan.  You did a good job describing the experience.

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

I enjoy reading about people's ayahausca experiences. I only ever did acid and standard mushrooms and even though some of the trips blew my doors off their hinges, they seem to pale in comparison to the ayahausca trips I've read about.

Seems I was doing kindergarden acid and ayahausa is at PhD level.

'Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world' - T’ien Yiheng.

'You are here for no other purpose than to realise your inner divinity and manifest your innate enlightenment' - Morihei Ueshiba (Founder of Aikido).

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Welcome to the club Cap.

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Thanks for posting your experiences.  I'd also love to hear about the integration process you're going through or have gone through.  Did the insights keep flooding through, long after the experience was over?

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

ape-x wrote:

Did you want to stay there? Were you aware (during) that you couldn't?

At the time I did not want to be in any of the places I was, at each and every moment that I was truly in what some there called "the grip" (as in the grip of madness),  every moment my ego and familiarity with where I am now was dying.  I imagine it would be very hard to live both here and their simultaneously. Those who do it on drugs I believe go mad.  I believe Jesus was living in both worlds and probably is an example of how to do it the right way if you were to attempt to be in both at once.  I am fairly sure I could have gone through the tear I saw in reality into another.  I had an intense fear of death at that moment as I contemplated taking the hand being offered me from the being in the tear.  At that moment I saw the world around me as if it were a badly tunned telivision set with everything vibrating wildly, like I was losing my synch with reality. 

ape-x wrote:

Did it feel like everything was just a 'holodeck'?

The feeling is not just like you are now in a different place, your awareness changes, you feel more things, and some less.  Everything I saw like the stars in the sky, and the patterns in the cement became shapes and drawings, and drawings of creatures.  I saw things in the cement that nearly resembled the carvings I have seen in ancient Mayan temple structures, as well as those at Angor Wak. 

And, has this exp made you understand your 'purpose' or has it made you care less about that?

I was not told my purpose.  I remember thinking at one point my purpose was to turn the DMT back on in the human brain.  I don't really identify with that feeling any more.  I would describe the state as hyperconscious, in that I was able to answer most of my own questions, but I was left with many more.  I feel that if I did the experience correctly I could have connected with some higher benevolent beings, but I was trying to control the experience too much, and my panic and fear lead me to the Archons, who are incredibly unpleasant company. 

ape-x wrote:

How have things changed for you thus far Capitan? I'm sure many of us would love to hear more.... cool           J

The first week I started having flashbacks in bed, a lot of the Archons coming back to mess with me.  I was having quite a bit of spontaneous flashbacks.  Nothing has physically changed in my life as of yet.  I see the need for balance in everything more.  I see that in a way God/I am in control of my life and am responsible for my life.  I have seen that god will give me what I need in life if I sit back and stop trying to control things.  You are what you think.  Any thoughts you focus on is what you will see in life.  Therefore it is important to be as positive, confident, strong and happy if you in fact want those things.  In this reality everything has its cost, pleasure takes  some pain to get.  I can either choose how experience the pain, or just let it come to me.  As in you can choose to put up with a crappy job to make money that can be used by you for pleasure, or you can run from working(pain), but it will eventually catch you in the form of homelessness, or drug addiction or something.  I think I'm going off on a tangent here. 

It has come to my awareness that I can go at least to what I call the hypnagogic state, which is the state experienced after the visual hallucinations wear off, but its still a state of hyperconsciousness.   When in that state I felt very carefree and I recognized it is how I spent the first couple years of my life.  In the hypnagogic state I wandered the property carefree like a child and just pondered infinite. 

Everyone's Aya experiences are different.  I purposely forced myself past the barriers that I sensed were holding me back during the trip, and that is when I saw the really scary stuff.   I don't think most people experienced the panic I felt but I was trying to go far without going to far to not come back.

"...But Nothing is Lost:" "Nothing lasts... nothing lasts. Everything is changing into something else. Nothing's wrong. Nothing is wrong. Everything is on track. William Blake said nothing is lost and I believe that we all move on." - Terrence McKenna - Shpongle - But Nothing Is Lost

11 (edited by ENT Doc 2007-04-07 22:07:25)

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Capitan wrote:

I was truly in what some there called "the grip" (as in the grip of madness), 

I believe Jesus was living in both worlds and probably is an example of how to do it the right way if you were to attempt to be in both at once. 

I saw things in the cement that nearly resembled the carvings I have seen in ancient Mayan temple structures, as well as those at Angor Wak. 

I would describe the state as hyperconscious, in that I was able to answer most of my own questions, but I was left with many more. 

I see the need for balance in everything more.  I see that in a way God/I am in control of my life and am responsible for my life.  I have seen that god will give me what I need in life if I sit back and stop trying to control things.  You are what you think.  Any thoughts you focus on is what you will see in life.  Therefore it is important to be as positive, confident, strong and happy if you in fact want those things.

Very very good Cap. I have received similar insights with Aya. Keep your shit together here in the "real world" as much as possible, and follow the teachings you have learned. They will come in handy as things get more hectic in the years to come. Keep drinking, under appropriate conditions, and you will learn much more. You are definitely on the right track. The hardest part is living the lessons. Keep with it even if you screw up. We all screw up. That's what humans do, but as long as your trying, She understands and forgives. Even JC screwed up. Got too big for his britches, and look what happened to him. But it had to be that way, so we wouldn't forget. He chose.

Stay cool, lay low, and keep trying to do the right thing every day, every moment, no matter how hard it gets. It'll get easier. You'll get stronger, and the snakes will move on to easier prey, but they'll always be there. That's just how it is bro.
Just know, that we're going back to those old days. The very early days of humanity, when everything was crystal clear. The road between here and there may get a little bumpy, but it'll be worth it. Just keep focusing on what you what for your life, everyday, and go with the flow if things don't work out quite the way you think they are supposed to. May be bigger plans in the works for you.

Stay on the path pal. Good job.

Last thing, TRUST, trust that She's got your back. YOU've got your own back.

If this makes sense to you, then you'll know what I'm talkin' about. Otherwise just take the parts that make a little sense.

PS TRUST and do your best everyday.

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Capitan wrote:

Everything I saw like the stars in the sky, and the patterns in the cement became shapes and drawings, and drawings of creatures.  I saw things in the cement that nearly resembled the carvings I have seen in ancient Mayan temple structures, as well as those at Angor Wak.

I saw these patterns many years ago on acid.  They were easy to see on the sidewalk, on paper, on walls, and even on my skin.  The funny thing about them is that they obeyed the laws of physics in that they changed as light shone on them or they were tilted (paper) just as if the patterns were embossed on the surface in "reality."  If I stretched the skin on my arm, the patterns would stretch as well.  They looked very, very Mayan and/ or Egyptian, and I remembered thinking back then that THIS is where the patterns on ancient artwork comes from!  They were so intricate and yet organic, I had the feeling that these patterns are really there, but we can't usually see them.  Did you get any sense or information about what they were?

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

Thanks for the reply Capitan. Maybe the re-adjustment period is not as bad as I suspected?

I hope all in all it was worth the 'price of admission' for you, seems like it was.

I don't have plans to do the trip to S.A.
or anything, so maybe it's just not necessary according to my HS, then again maybe every spiritually oriented human should do it, hmmm.

GreenT, like what you said- acid is for kiddies maybe? Depends on the dosage
I guess, but that was exactly what I was thinkin'- funny! wink                       J

Happy to have been a part

Re: My transcendental Aya expreience

ENT Doc, I think I do know what your are saying.  I have seen lots of coincidences lately.  I met with an empath yesterday to talk about my experiences and she told me that I need to know who I can TRUST.  So I see that you have chosen to reiterate the importance of finding who I can trust. 

Lono, that is exactly how I would describe the patterns.  I made the analogy that these inanimate objects were "putting on a pretty face" for me.  They were showing me pretty drawings shapes and patterns. 

A-pex,  this was definately worth the price of admission for myself.  After talking to two empaths yesterday, they both indicated it would be unwise for me to do this again, but disagreed with each other on whether it was ok to do it the first time.  They indicated to me that the state I entered was naturally attainable, and entering this state on drugs was bypassing the discipline and responsibility that you are required to develop before being able to open up to the experience.  It is important to develop this discipline so that you can handle what you are seeing without going mad.   I was also told that had I gone through the tear I had seen in reality I would have probably been insane had I returned, so its a good thing I didn't go. 

When I get some free uninterrupted time I'll try and document the journey a little more.

"...But Nothing is Lost:" "Nothing lasts... nothing lasts. Everything is changing into something else. Nothing's wrong. Nothing is wrong. Everything is on track. William Blake said nothing is lost and I believe that we all move on." - Terrence McKenna - Shpongle - But Nothing Is Lost