Transmuting negative feelings towards troublesome people (Page 1 of 2)

Oh come on Lyra, you just have that "magic touch"! 

Thanks for those examples Lyra.  I'm starting a new job this week and can imagine that this transmutation idea will definately come in handy.

On a side note....I've had experiences at work where I've stood up to someone because they were treating me like crap, either because of my relatively shocking outward appearance or reputation as the "spiritual" guy in a highly atheistic work environment.  When I stopped taking shit from them they actually would treat me better, like I was one of the "guys".  It was almost some kind of macho bullshit test.  It's like you subtly let them know that you're gonna have any of it any they have no choice BUT to either try a new tactic or give up altogether and just accept you.  Crazy humans, I'm wondering if I'll ever figure them out!

I can relate, Lyra.  My work brings me in regular contact with some really challenging teeny tiny petty tyrants, as I categorize them.  For a long time I would give tit for tat in responding to them... that is, if they were pissy to me, I was pissy right back.  Then I learned about impeccability a la Don Juan and FRV from the Cs and began gradually changing my responses.  It took a lot of practice, but now I'm ususally able to hold my vibration no matter what they sling at me.  At the very least, I earn their grudging respect.... and sometimes I'm able to uncover a really warm individual underneath the defensive exterior.

Good point.  So many look to outside catalysts for vibration raising such as meditation techniques and new age technology.  While I'm not discounting the potential benefits of those options, sometimes it's just as simple as shifting your attitude to one of true positivity fueled by true love for self and other, and the benefits of doing so tend to be longer lasting and more permanent.

"The petty tyrant is like the irritating kid down the street that has lost their puppy and is affraid to go home for fear their dad will blame them for being small and stupid. Assist them by easing their pain and in so doing you will also find a precious new friend to play with your inner child"
~~carefulcarpenter

It definitely seems true that it wouldn't work for everybody, that was something I was thinking about yesterday afternoon after I made my post.  When dealing with anybody it's just a matter of feeling out what the situation is.   There are those very obvious psychic vampire, slick manipulator game playing head trip types and with them, I have NO tolerance for it.   I will just extricate myself from the situation.  Being hostile wouldn't work, that just encourages them and feeds into something.  And feeling amped up feelings of positiveness would probably just sink into their black hole oblivion.  Not everybody is "all there" to put it delicately, and so certain tactics wouldn't work, and with them, it's best to just get away.  Some people just need a verbal shove, for whatever reason, and I've experienced the bully types, like what Poffo described:

This one woman named Marsha that I uesd to work with back in Florida was the big gruff curmudgeony New Yorker who for whatever reason, did not like me when I first started working at that company.  I later learned it was because one time, back when I first started, she had come into my office to ask me something, and I continued to type while talking to her.  Yes, my big offense was that I can actually multi-task, and was so busy that I continued to work on my word processing document while also talking to her, instead of stopping and giving her my FULL and COMPLETE attention.   After that she was just SO rude and obnoxious to me, couldn't talk to me without verbally pushing me around in some way.  Became a real bully, and I'd go home at night, stewing over her, like, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.    To make matters worse, the whole thing became REALLY confusing only because I could intuitively "feel" that she was real, and that she wasn't a bad person at the core!   So, that inner/outerer contrast was only compounding the weirdness of the situation.   And finally one day it came to a head, and she was being extra rude and bully-ish to me, and I don't remember exactly what I said, but I snapped.   Bit her head off right back at her, like WHAT is your problem??   blah blah blah blah blah!    I don't remember what exactly I said, but I do remember the look of shock on her face - and there was emotion behind it.  And after that, she was nice to me, and I could see/feel that she felt bad about it all.

Soon after she noticed a pic on my computer of my kitty (who's all black) and we bonded over that because she used to have a beloved black cat too, who had died a few years back.  She was a dog person, but she said there is something about the breed of black cats that is different, and she just LOVED that cat.  She'd get watery eyed talking about her kitty and would be like "Okay, okay, I have to stop talking about it now, it's gonna make me cry...."  So, we bonded over black cats, trading stories about all the cool and cute things our respective black cats would do.   And she came in one day with a basket that had goodies for my cat.  Some toys, food treats, and this awesome porcelain bowl that had a black cat on it....which is my cat's water bowl to this day.     So yeah, that situation did a total 180, but only after I stood up to the bully.  She wasn't really a bully though, she just had a gruff and crusty exterior, probably due to events in her life.  I do know that she was mugged once in a parking garage, fought back against the guy trying to nab her purse and wound up getting shot.....twice.   And obviously lived.   So, she was a tough woman with a crusty exterior, but nice at the core.

Conversely, at this same job I also worked with another bully woman named Calla.............but she was a whole other ball of wax.   While Marsha was real, and just falling victim to her inner predator, Calla was just a messed up head case.   She wasn't all there mentally, and probably soul wise as well, and it seemed like stuff was jumping in and out of her, and her behavior and personality were erratic and unstable.  She'd take her cell phone and go outside and hide in the bushes while talking, and was a space case who couldn't retain information, and just carried on like a weirdo in general.   She started working there after I started, but despite my "6 month seniority"   felt that because I was about 15 years younger than her, and looked so young on top of it, that I'd be an easy target to push around.  X!  Think again.  There were minor incidents here and there with her, which I had complained about to my supervisor Suzanne, but nothing was being done to remedy the situation.  But then, there was this one incident with Calla where it was like something jumped into her and antagonized me, and the results became the stuff of office gossip for weeks afterwards.   I don't remember offhand what she said to me, but it was the gleam in her eye when she said it and the smirk........THAT'S what threw me over the edge.  Calla didn't know that Suzanne had overheard her, and when Suzanne emerged from behind a cubicle with this look on her face like "WTF??" I turned to her and said, "Did you hear what she said???  Did you hear what she just said to me??!?"   Suzanne nodded, frowning, and I said, "THAT'S it....." and I took off down the hall after Calla, found her in her office, and was yet like, ROOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!   Chewed her out.   Did it work though?  No, actually, not really.  She stopped only because Suzanne told her to stop, but she herself felt no change, and would periodically slip back up again, trying to push me around, saying things with a weird glint in her eye and smirk.   Nothing quite as bad as that one incident, but what I got was that IF she could have gotten away with treating me like dirt in full force, she totally would have, and nothing I could have said or done would have stopped her, and the only reason she wasn't carrying on in full form was because whatever was piloting her knew that she would get in trouble from my supervisors, maybe even fired.  That was the only motivation to not act in full form.  (And I say "piloting"  because of her erratic personality and crazy behavior and that weird glint she'd get in her eye, which I've seen before, with people who have other "stuff" piloting them.)

ANYway, two examples of a bully personality that resulted in a "verbal shove back" confrontation; one bully who was real and felt emotion and remourse for their bad behavior and changed as a result, and the other who was not, and had some kind of crazy who knows what going on that was unredeemable.   With Calla I could read her from day 1 and knew that it wouldn't change, so I just avoided her.   There was nothing that could be said or done to a person who's not in full control of themselves and the best thing is to just walk away.  In retrospect, I also should have/could have put up psychic blocks against her, to keep her at bay, but I didn't, because that's the only thing that's really going to work with somebody who's being piloted.

Yeah, that's what really got me, just as much as the backstory about Lynn was the reaction of this waitress when telling the story....the fact that she was so cold about it all and found it amusing.  There is a world of people out there like that, and it's really disturbing.   

I think we need to review what the definition of "petty tyrant" is, because your example is not it. !!

Wow...what a trip!  I wonder if you made me create this thread then!   Something working backwards in time, get me to start this thread yesterday morning.  It's weird because I was going to create this thread several weeks ago and for some reason just...didn't.  Until yesterday morning.  More Noble Realms synchs!

This definitely is the case with animals - they're very telepathic, cats especially.  But one time I was reading a book down by the brook where we live and this dog (brown and white, looked like a beagle mix) came running down the trail and over to the edge of the rocks where I was sitting and began growling low at me, like challenging me. "Who are you???  I'm the boss here!"   His owner (or "people companion" as politically correct animal activists like to call it nowadays   ) was up the trail, lagging behind.  So, I'm sitting there looking at this growling dog - I knew he wouldn't attack me, but I was still a little nervous.  Realized I could switch gears though and change the situation - mentally said "Hi!" to the dog.  Then said, "Look at you....you're so cute!"   Then I watched the dog change expressions, and go from growling and "posturing" to all of a sudden bounding across the rocks for me and literally, throwing himself at me, all excited, slurping at my face, trying to get in my lap and be pet!!  It was crazy, but cool. 

But yeah, there's not a day that goes by where I don't tell my kitty "You're so cute!  You're so sweet!  You're so pretty!"   Like, 50 times a day, I'm not even kidding!     I'm always either telling her or thinking to her what a little sweetie cutie she is, and what a good cat she is.  Not even to try to consciously "rewire" her, it's just because I can't help it, that's what I think.  And she hears it, loud and clear, and is very loving and affectionate as a result.   She totally reads my mind though, there's so many stories I have, but, topic for another thread I guess.   But yeah, I do this with all animals that I come across, I just love critters and think they're all so cute.....to the point where I even now think bugs are cute.   So when one comes around I eminate something really strong that they pick up on.

All in all I totally agree that this tactic could definitely be the magic pill for dealing with troublesome people.  The ones who ARE human, but just damaged, like you said. 

btw, the picture is cute!