Re: Parallel Timelines
Thought I'd resurrect this thread. Not sure if I should or not, if it's worth it, but lately the idea of parallel timelines has been rearing its head with me in a major way, more insights, more revelations about it all. I realize even more that my alternate New York self really is / was real, and not just my imagination. On a related note, I realized that since moving here to Virginia I feel that in general, I've just been drifting along like in a dream. Like I don't have much invested in anything. No emotional attachments, no emotional connection to this area, which is unlike me. Wherever I live I usually form some sort of strong feeling, a sense of "place" for where I live, whether I like it or not, whether I plan on staying or I'm just passing through. I had a strong magnetism for Portland Oregon, and I immediately bonded with Florida - I was destined to live there, whether permanently or temporary, it was destined that I at least show up and wave and say hello, but that's another story I guess. California - loved my time there, appreciate every moment I was there, and it lingered as my "home" for quite awhile after I left. Wherever I live I like to fully explore it, drive all over, absorb it all in, take tons of pictures, fully experience it. But here? Not really. It's a nice place and all, don't get me wrong, and it has a great vibe, beautiful scenary, lots of nature. But I feel like I'm just floating or something, drifting above it, not really down in it, if that makes sense. I don't know what's going on. It's been 8 months now, and it's like I have to force myself to form an attachment. Like, "Okay, you will bond now! Bond! Bond, dammit!"
Montalk (tom) mentioned something about how maybe, this timeline isn't as strong as some of my / our others, and for that reason, I don't have as much energy invested in it....? That tripped me out, because it's as good a theory as any, and one that many people might not consider.
I feel like I wasn't supposed to make it this far on this timeline, it wasn't really fully in the cards that I'd get here to Virginia, and keep things going like this. Not just because there are at least 8 times when I should have died but didn't, (yup, more stories for other times) but I just feel like I've somehow pushed past the limit of what I was expected / intended to do, and it's like all new territory. It's hard to explain this, and put it into words. Plus I think I have a habit of dying young in my past lives, so this whole "Living past age 30" thing is another unexpected kink in the works. I arrive, burn the candle at both ends, cram in a bunch of nonsense and craziness, then kick the bucket. This time though....I'm still here. (after arriving, burning several candles at all ends, cramming in tons of nonsense and craziness, and dodging the reaper at every turn!) Weird.
The dream-like state could be from any number of reasons. I had a thread going last year called "Life is but a dream", talking about this phenomenon. Who knows what it is. Maybe parallel timelines is to blame, maybe not. Maybe I'm just mental.
I just know that with the realization / revelations about my New York existance, I now am able to look back at my bizarre, surreal, strange childhood in Connecticut and my life in general in a WHOLE new way. Things are starting to make a lot more sense now. Pieces coming together about why my parents were the way they were, why my brother was the way he was, just everything. This life, this timeline, wasn't the main timeline. New York was. This was the spin off. People are going to act and be a lot more weird I imagine in a spin off timeline than they would in the "main" one. Expecially if they don't have themselves invested in it.
So now I have to figure out why *I* was invested in it.
It's just so strange trying to view the events of your life through the lens of parallel timeline understanding. Going back through the events of your life and now seeing them as a simultaneous occurance that was happening alongside an entire other existance. ! Trying to imagine what I was like in that other existance. How did I turn out? What did I look like?? How did my family fare over there? Cause they sure as hell didn't fare well over here. I know I'm taller over there. I can't be 5'3", because my growth was stunted from the meningitis I caught at age 1 1/2 in Massachusetts. My taller than average height until that age and my long limbs give this away....over there I'm tall. Not here! In this timeline I've convinced myself that I enjoy being tiny. What if I enjoy being tall over there?? Silly little things, but it's fun to think about.
Now when I'm sitting in the cafeteria at work eating, surrounded by mundane talk from fellow coworkers in all the various departments, as CNN blares in the background on the tube, I wonder....how many other mundane scenes just like this one have I played out in other timelines? Other jobs, other coworkers, other cafeterias, other mundane conversations in other states? Crazy. I can't see anything around me anymore the way I used to. I feel like in a way I'm integrating things now, even though I haven't pulled up any new memories. It's still a form of integrating, just acknowledging it and thinking about it and seeing things differently. One of the few flashes / glimpses I've had of another timeline involved me at lunch at a Taco Bell looking place with a female coworker, and she was saying something pretty clever.....clever for that timeline, anyway. I was very mellow, just sitting across from her listening to her, going, Huh....where did you come up with that?? I wish I could remember what she said.
Oh well. But it wasn't a coworker I've ever had in this timeline, and it was me, but yet slightly different. A parallel reality.
The one thing I've seen as the common denominator in these glimpses of other timelines is that I'm a lot more mellow in all of them. More dazed almost. The way I would have turned out had I not gone through 9 years in my personal hell prison called Connecticut. That to me is the most interesting thing of all. I used to wonder if my brother still found his way into my life in that timeline. A very psychic member of NR who I email with confirmed this, (which means she was also able to confirm the existance of the NY timeline) and she passed a long a message that was relayed to her to give to me....that yes, Joe was there too, but in that timeline he achieved more of his potential. He didn't turn out the way he did over here.
Everybody was messed up over here. yikes. So why am I still here then????? Who knows!
It's mind boggling. Anyway, I'm resurrecting this thread to add more thoughts to it, see if it triggers anything for anybody else, see if anybody out there has their own experiences with this.
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"I get by with a little help from my (higher density) friends."
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