Stripping the gurus

Bumblebee, Just replying to your comment from the Humour page (what's on your desk).

I think that it has many grains of truth that have been presented by someone who has obviously been disillusioned.

But I always reckon dis-illusionment is a good thing.  Reality's the way to go.  (But what is reality? ) Depends on the point of view at the time, I think.

I suppose in regards to my own experience re: Yogananda; his books inspired me in the 90's when I was into meditation and yoga big time and had the luxury - as a single female sharing a house with a spiritual guy - to spend many hours following my heart in terms of my own spiritual growth. 

Later when I was on my own and going through a very tough time, I found talking to Yogananda, using his photo as a helpful visual - helped me get through the worst times.  I believed he was listening, and guiding, and - maybe it brought out my own highest self.

In regards to the SRF organisation, whenever I 'scanned' it, it has seemed to be run like a well-oiled regimented machine, with no room for dissent or individuality - all according to a committee's dictates, rather than run with the spirit of its founder.  But I'm not really into organisations, and usually avoid them, so I may be biased there.

I went to a lecture given by one of SRF's swamis when he came to Brisbane (again, in the 90's) and was shocked at his apparent lack of love, his arrogance and his totally negative and fear-inducing talk.  Even the thought that he may (in an enlightened way) have been trying to shock people into some sort of action didn't sit with me for long.  He just seemed like a fear monger with a big ego. It saddened me that someone as apparently wise and loving as Yogananda feels from his writings, could have someone like that fellow representing him years later.

Still, what SRF do is their own affair.  I can only confirm that my own (maybe niaive) trust in Yogananda's advice and resonance with his loving essence were uplifting and useful at a certain point in my life's journey.

These days, married, working, with a six year old son, the spiritual luxuries afforded me now are snatches of quiet time when everyone else is in bed.  But that's my excuse.  I also suspect there's a part of me avoiding meditation like the plague.  I think that part is my ego that's afraid of being transmuted into something incredible.  Or maybe I'm just lazy!

I actually think - for me anyway - my spiritual journey (for want of a better term) is much more about integrating all aspects of myself into the life that I have created for myself, in which I find myself playing various roles - all with as much awareness as I can muster.  Rather than sitting cross-legged for hours on end trying to become enlightened. 

I don't think on this level I can become any more enlightened - I am now trying to integrate light and dark (maybe in order to rise above to another level, if you want to compare it with a PS game). And I'm not saying that in an arrogant sort of way, just that on this level of the 'game' I have to tie up all the loose ends with the 'enlightement' that I have been given. Only then will I move on.

Perhaps that's what Yogananda (or many gurus of yesteryear) were doing - struggling with both their enlightened nature and self-serving ego.  In the case of SRF leaders today, maybe there's more ego to them than enlightened nature!

Thanks bumblebee for your comment , this has been a good exercise in looking at an aspect of my past, as represented by an almost forgotten photo - until today's "what's on your desk" question.

Cipher