a "novel" way to wake people up; struggle

Hey everyone, I know I don't post here terribly often but I do lurk frequently.  However through the end of November I won't even be lurking, as I will be participating in National Novel Writing Month (see www.nanowrimo.org).  The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, saving the editing, additions, reworking, add'l drafts etc. for later.

I'm doing this because I've been trying for over a year now (gosh, that long...yikes) to get this idea I had for a novel finished.  I'd say, like most of us here I imagine, that we've been on the path of awakening more or less since birth, but it truly began in earnest in me last summer after a tremendous amount of self-imposed drama.  After I began to realize that its not some far-out theory but that our country really is heading (fast!) toward fascism, I decided I needed to write a book - much like "1984" updated for the current situation.

I've been told since I was very young that, among other things, I had the potential to be an excellent writer, although my biggest interest then was in computers.  As I entered middle school and then began high school it became apparent that it was all rather empty and pointless.  I'd been told so much how "great" I could be or how "successful" but what they really meant was "Someone I once knew could be rich!  How cool is that?"  I had a full-ride scholarship in California studying computer science and that confirmed all the more that all that path had to offer was material success.  Yawn.  Then I went for a while to the Univ. of Montana studying classics (Greek & Latin literature) just to get as far from that as possible.  People were aghast!  How the hell you gonna use that, boy?  But I knew that it would help to become a better writer although I had no plan as such to become a writer, or anything else.  So anyway, I had the skills but either neglected them through realization how inane it all is, or tried to suppress them by being someone else, and here I am now trying to do what I apparently have the ability to do.

I'd call it intuition or the Grace of God that first guided my mind to decide to write this novel, but didn't know how.  At the time, despite knowing well my propensity toward procrastination, I thought I could have a good book finished by the summer before the election.  Needless to say, I didn't make that.  It was either outright procrastination or "demons of doubt" as I think Descartes called them.  As a child I'd have had no trouble admitting I had the ability to take on a large writing challenge and succeed because, well, I always did.  After the years of self-denial and an obsessive trend toward self-deprecation, it has been very difficult to get past that insidious self-doubt.  Not to mention trying to separate ideals of pure pride & ego from true, honest acknowledgement of who I am.

That all said, I found out about NaNoWriMo, which forces you to put all that aside for the sheer frenzy of an (almost) unreachable goal.  I've known all along that when I start, it will be like all the term papers and science fairs I've always put off, then cranked out on no-sleep at the last minute and won praise and awards for.  Since I've said since I "started" that when I truly began writing word after word I would have my intuition, higher self and God on my side so couldn't go wrong, I'm finally deciding to suck it up and start, letting everything take care of itself as I know it will. 

Now, I'm not saying any of this to be full of myself of say "hey look at me, a writer!"  It is relevant to this group thematically, and I'm plannning on putting it out there in an unusual way (again, intuition).  Instead of spending a year (at least) trying to get a regular publisher to print it in hardback, I want to use a license similar to Linux for it.  Linux is a user-created operating system that I, and others, use on my computer instead of Microsoft Windows.  The version I use was purchased from the German SuSE company because I had money at the time, but unlike Windows it is perfectly legal to copy and distribute for free, so I could have downloaded it or had someone burn me a copy.  I've long thought that if I were a musician I wouldn't do like Metallica does and prosecute those who download MP3s, but rather encourage it!  So I'm using this approach for my novel, and I think it will work. 

You'd be able to read it in its entirety on my (yet nonexistent) website, print it, burn MP3s on CD for the audio book version, or buy a printed copy.  The printed copies will, at first, just be printed off on recycled paper on a laser printer, and sold at cost (ream of paper, toner, shipping).  For people who really like what I'm doing, they can order a printed copy with my signature for $20 or whatever - not that my signature is anything, but just something for people who want to support me financially.  Anyone could copy as long as credit was given, but only I could sell - Creative Commons, I think it was, produces licenses that state just this.  Of course eventually I'd like to find a publisher who would print it in regular hardback for bookstore distribution yet still allow it to be free.  Just like SuSE is able to make money selling software anyone can copy for free, I can too.  Of course few people would want to read an entire novel on their computer screen and would prefer the hardback, but for those who have only a passing interest or are not able to afford books there would be alternatives, and that would help spread the text to MANY more people and much more quickly.

Of course my intention in posting this info here is that some of you will be interested to read it after it is finished (maybe by end of year with editing) and would know other people who would like to read it also.  Of course if you are impressed and financially able I would welcome the purchase of a $20 copy but would not expect it.  I think write now (I meant right now, lol guess thats a positive Freudian slip) I am seeking support from you all, and maybe any ideas.  I know as has been discussed in the Noble Realms across America thread that many would like a work of fiction covering most everything that is covered here, which would be great for sure but out of my capabilities at the moment and perhaps more than most people could swallow at once.  I would like to focus on the totalitarian system that appears in the works, and my rebuttal to any critics on the right or whatever is "I'm not saying this WILL happen, but it could and you can't deny that it would be horrible, so its worth discussing, then if it doesn't happen it was still a great story so a win-win situation." 

Anyhow, I've bounced around on plot ideas (yes, that pesky little detail) for a year now.  Initially I had this grand concept of the book in 2009 after Bush's second term and the terrorist attack that put is in a strong police state, a vaccine-resistant smallpox begins appearing at once in cities nationwide (those wily cave-dwellers!) and complete martial law is introduced.  I had three people main characters (Iranian at Yale with French mother who wants to unite Muslims and Christians for peace, bohemian musician whose revolutionary tunes released for free help people nationwide, and a staunch Republican alternative energy scientist) and the media/propaganda machine acting as a fourth separate character itself.  Of course all three people end up either in Guantanamo Bay or the Denver Airport or wherever, but the point was to be that even though the revolutionaries (who to anyone reading the book obviously are not dangerous) are gone they left gifts that can strengthen a new generation for the struggle to continue (not hopeless like "1984").  Wow, that all sounds good now that I've typed it out and started thinking about it again, but I decided it was too much to do first.  I haven't shelved this entirely, it could be like the next in the series, but what I'm doing now is simpler and more direct (like I said, can't have them try to swallow too much at once).  Now it will take place on one college campus with one main character (probably at UM since I know it well) around the time of the second terrorist attack that is backstory in the original idea.  This student and his friends will resist (peacefully, of course) the measures (and draft) put in place after that and be destroyed.  Haven't worked out too many details but it should flow pretty easily since that main character is largely based on me.  I want to deal with ideas of wasted potential of youth in these times, destruction of our minds thru media, artificial division, etc. in addition to showing the nascent fascism that people can laugh at me for suggesting, but when they say "hey, that happened in that book!" they can change their minds.

Anyway, sorry this is so remarkably long, the basic point was I'd like your (and your souls') support in this, and any ideas or suggestions you might have (if you suggest a plot element I'd credit you for that of course).  I'm going to read (I have "No Plot? No Problem!" by the founder of NaNoWriMo) and sleep, get ready and then be very busy for a whole month.  Wish me luck. 

-Jess
P.S. - Vote Badnarik, Libertarian for President