I am having difficulty finding purpose (Page 3 of 3)

Wonderful comments and suggestions.

I'm just wondering how old are you Captain?

Our Physical Body is consciously conscious.  Every Cell in our Physical Body is alive with awareness.
When we are growing into Teenage Hood, our body expands with additional sexual chemicals that allows
physical, emotional, intuitional, and creative juices to form into these subtle bodies.

When I was 15 years of age, I could actually feel the emotions of my Mother and Father inside my body and
gosh, yes, I wanted to run-a-way from Home.  I couldn't wait to be 18 years of age and really leave home.

The Higher Self voice in my head counselled my day-to-day self to go with it and stay home. Not run-a-way.

At that Teen-Hood time of our life, we absolutely get depressed, and then we are OK...and yes, we do want to Die, but
we live. 

And we move-on, and in-movement.

Do you play music?
Do you listen to music and what kind of music?  Beware of the Lyrics in certain types of music.
Do you Dance? 

I have a young friend of 24.  He left home at 15.  He's been outside since then.  He's a great guy, I love him as
a Brother.  He sings too and remembers lyrics all kinds of songs. 
He's handsome and I told him that if I was younger that I would really set my eyes on him because he would be the
type of Dad who would actually sing to the kids, and come home after work, rather than go out with his co-workerss
for a couple of pints of beer.  He would work in the garden, and loves the LAND.

But this is what I have been noticing with him.  Sure he smokes pot.  But where does he get the money?
He goes to a place where people sit in their cars by the beautiful ocean and smoke marijuana and then throw
out the roshes (I don't think that's the correct spelling).  My Beloved Friend picks-up these roshes...(the spelling will come to
me). (Maybe , I should look into the dinktionary,hmhm:rolleyes:).

I'll call him Rich-Man-Land.  Rich-Man-Land doesn't even need any money to buy pot!!!!
He picks-up empties from the recycling bin and makes money to buy Sherry (22% alcohol) - poor-man's drink.
At 11pm, a pizza shop gives him and the other outside guys the left-overs.

Now, he's doing , crack...hard drugs...I told my beloved  Rich-Man-Land Bro, that if he keeps this up, he will
develop a 'mental illness'....schizophrenia, manic-depression, etc...and He WILL NEED TO TAKE PHARMACEUTICAL Drugs
to stay grounded!

My Father has a mental illness, he needed to take LITHIUM.  My  Dad never really drank, nor did he do drugs.
I truly realized that this is a real biological chemical imbalance.  But Lithium causes throughout the years Kidney problems.
(Every Organ in our body is consciousnessly alive with consciousness).  In his early 50s, my Beloved Dad has involuntary physical movement.  Hard to watch your own Dad like that ...
He's been in the nursing home, receiving blood-dyalisis for several years now. (He's 78!).

When we are teenagers, we are developing the Kundalini Fire Spirit known has Sexual Energy, but on a grandeur scale.
Because every cell in our bodies (emotional, intuitional, creative, physical bodies) is WAKING-UP, we get all types of
emotions manifesting.

The Mind-in-the-Head wants to be in - control...It wants logic, It can't NOT HANDLE IT e-motions of all kinds.
The MIND's function really is to problem-solve day-to-day soulutions.
Just to keep busy.
BUT IT has not yet,
MARRIED the Heart.  It's afraid of being Vulnerable.  Yet, the Heart probably has n't married the Sexual Organs, THE ROOT CHAKRA.  And yet, The Root Chakra is in Fear of Creative energy.  It rather Follow the Mind, but at the same time IT wants
a DEEP connection to the Physical-self, and to OUR BELOVED MOTHER, the EARTH, PACHAMA, TERRA, LA BELLE MERE.

But who , any one here have had any mentors!:(
(ThankYou , Montalk for this Forum:))

I suppose I could write more, but my point is really about pharmacitical drugs. Our WESTERN CULTURE does not
acknowledge Inner Beauty, sexual energy, intuition, clairvoyant, clairsentient way of Being a Human.
The Kundalini Energy releases
repressed energy of all kinds...e-motions must move.  GRIEF, must be FELT, MUST be acknowledge,
(In Malidoma Patrice Some's autobiography, "Of Water, The Spirit" says that any man in his tribe who cannot
cry,
or, who cannot grieve
is a dangerous man to the tribe!).
Depression may be a cause of not allowing one-self to really cry, to really yell (do it in the woods, or else the psycho-police        will give you a new home:lol:).
Suicide may be a lack of sexual movement, so go DANCE, and maybe bring a Friend too:P

We wish you well,
Monique

So everyone here who participated in your quest have a love for you and have expressed themselves from their own
SOULUTIONS.;)

"My depression had come from awakening to a reality that did not match what I had spent my life preparing for."

Which is was maybe is?

"I had turned away from my desires and passions, and squashed my emotions because I could not deal with them and still follow the path that others had set out for me.  "

Who set a path for you? I feel that no-one can set your true purpose for you...You Must try to Re-member your gifts and talents and contribute them to your community!

"I am doing better then when I wrote the original post."

How did you achieve that?

"It requires a reliance on faith, a word I have despised since my religion tought me their meaning of the word"

Yes , absolutely, I absolutely understand!

"I am learning to match my sisters attitude on life which is ignorant bliss, and she is an amazingly positive happy person with blissful awareness."

cough, cough, ignorant bliss, impossible, but yes , gosh, how old is she?  I'm nearing the grand old 50's, but was born in 60's
....while watching t.v. black and white in the kitchen, eating diner, Nixon and the Vietnam news are being broadcasted, And
I thought: 'When I grow-up", there will be Peace on the World...:rolleyes:

"There seems to be an idea that is programmed into us that to be aware of the bad dealings of the world requires us to become entangled in them and dragged down with them.  That is I think what was taking me down.  "

Comapssion for Self, first, then we can have compassion for others without becoming entangled in them!!!:)

Also, for myself, it is about Forgiveness of all ancestors on Earth, regardless.  I am capable of forgiving for myself for being dumb, stupid, intelligent, brilliant, and a sense of humour that others just can't see, nor feel!!!!:mad:...:o...:lol:...;)...:cool:

"...but what truly crushed me was when my inner drive led me to the concepts of the true nature of humanity. "

We are still ASLEEP! Yawn!!!:(

"Ironically as I grow more comfortable here I begin to see that even as I think very closely to many here my beliefs still vary greatly.  I still cannot accept principles such as astrology, and all the talk of Venus Retrograde and Food for the Moon goes way over my head, although I will admit there does seem to be something to it. "

That is absolutely OK!!!.....Hey, if we had previous lives, then who cares what 'sign', I am.  I've been all of them so do not, I say, do not categorize, nor pigeon-hole me nor any-one else, and your-self for that matter.  I UNDER -stand on my two-webbed feet (Quack, you say):P

"Anyway thank you for the input."

Your Welcome, your High-nest Capitaine!:)

-Monique

Hello Captain,

just one last suggestion.   

You may like to try Acupressure (Shiatsu) .

http://www.shiatsuassociation.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiatsu

We have bio-chemicals in our body that helps one to release emotions,  and helps to correct imbalances on all
planes, mental, physical, emotional.

(I have a diploma in this but I'm not practicing therapist!).

Hope you will look into this!

-M