Seeking Guidance (Page 1 of 2)

You’re absolutely right.  I have a hard time forgiving myself for what I do, and I think that comes from a lack of taking responsibility for my actions.  My reality is the way it is, because I’ve allowed it to be so.  I’ve never really taken into account the possibility of “forgiving” its apparent that needs to change.

Sorry for just cutting and pasting, but today's newsletter from Mission 1017 seems to be along the same lines as your post .. and you seem like a good man 'feelin bad' to me...

Auscastian,

I have known plenty of people who have sincere feelings of love and compassion for other people, for animals, for the earth itself, and still do things that hurt others.  Some are great empathizers who feel deeply for others, and feel what others feel.  But they don't have enough self-awareness, or enough self-respect to know how to treat other people.  They may believe in the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you...but their own sense of what is acceptable behavior is distorted.  Does this make sense?  It is nice to have warm feelings for others, but it isn't everything.

We have all said and done things that we might see in a different way later on.  If you think back on those times, there was probably a voice inside you, however small, that said, hold on, something is not right here!  Sometimes it is best to just take a step back from what is happening and listen to that voice.  Whether you do this for a moment, or a matter of years is up to you. 

I see feelings as a communication within self, not as something that I have for others, or give to others.  I can give others the expression of my feelings, but not the feelings themselves.  If I have consistently unpleasant feelings in relation to a particular person, I usually try to put myself in their place and think about the challenges they might be facing.  Maybe I am sensing their own fear or unhappiness, or maybe there is something I don't yet understand about them.  Maybe my feelings are actually a warning to avoid that person.  I don't see it as my responsibility to love everyone, or have good feelings about every person I meet. 

Many people right now are wondering why they don't "feel" as much as they know they are capable of.  Many are feeling disconnected from others, and wondering if their hearts have grown cold.  Some are even questioning their soul's intent, wondering if their purpose for being in this world is evil, or perhaps if they even have a soul to begin with!  I would suggest that this feeling of disconnect is an important part of the shift we are going through.  We are letting go of old forms of energy and behavior.  It is no longer useful to "feel" for others in a sympathetic way.  It is no longer required to "serve" others, serve our countries, serve god or even serve ourselves to find a sense of purpose in life. 

The STS/STO mindset is ultimately limiting.  It might motivate you initially to change your ways, but in the long run it is going to keep you stuck in a dilemma:  do you put yourself first, or put others before yourself?  In a larger reality it is impossible to separate the two; there is always a circular relationship between others and self.  What is truly good for you on a soul level will be in harmony with all life.

I would offer the idea that no one really "deserves" anything.  If one person deserves something, another person or force has to serve it.  And the longer one serves, the more one has a sense of deserving something in return.  This is a very old energy dynamic that denies personal responsibility.  At best it is rescuing another from their problems, without giving them the chance to empower themselves...and at worst it is a form of slavery!  There is a subtle difference between serving other people, and supporting other people, but it is this shift in energy that allows freedom.  As an example, I share my perceptions freely, since you have requested guidance, but I am definitely not here to serve you.  Wouldn't it even be a bit arrogant of me if I thought so?  Oh Master Auscastian, you do not deserve to be ignorant any longer in the ways of love and compassion, please allow me your humble servant to guide you!  LOL, that would be silly.  I am however here to talk with you and make a connection if you choose.

What happens when you feel the negative voice overpowering the positive?  Can you describe this more, or give an example of a time you experienced it?

I to have these two voices.  I have found that some of the negative voice actually comes from extra dimensional beings, they are able to insert thoughts into your head, or cue negative mental programs that are built into your head at will.  I assume they do not do this to everyone, but as I have seen them myself I figure that those who represent a threat to them are worth their time to destroy.  Ask yourself if the negativity you subject yourself in any way improves your life or others.  I found in asking myself this question it does not.  Don't allow yourself negative thoughts, that is if you agree with me.  Force yourself to think positively just as society forced you to learn to think negatively.  If you think only positive thoughts you will probably be unstoppable.   

I recently heard this from someone and see the truth in my own life "You can't help others if you are a wreck yourself"  Take care of yourself first.  Be kind to yourself and learn to grow until you are healthy in mind and body, and then set out to help others.  Just the same you wouldn't send a crippled person into the water to save a drowning man. 

I have found from the Cassiopean material and elsewhere that STS wishes to change, STO offers assistance to those who request it.  That is probably the easiest way to see the difference between pure STS and STO.  STO will only offer guidance when requested, but STS will tell you what to do, how to think, and why. 

Thinking of this earth as a god awful place will not make your life any easier.  This is a place of great importance.  More is learned here faster then any other place, learning which comes as a result of the extreme pain balanced against pleasures.  It seems to me that nowhere else are the emotions felt as strongly as they are here.  This place is very hard for you most likely because you came from one of the other dimensions of reality, the non physical.  In these dimensions you do not die, the reality is literally formed of your imagination, the wonders are infinite.  But without the pain, fear, and loss that you experience here, your wildest imaginings begin to feel empty because the pure fantasy is not balanced.  If you wish to be a knight and kill 100,000 dragons that pursuit begins to become pointless because the pleasure of victory is never balanced with the pain of defeat.  Yet when someone of the fantasy realms comes here, it is incredibly hard to go from dragonslayer or king of the mountain to desk jockey at the local cube farm, or janitor at the local quickie mart.   And yet it is this pain that gives meaning again to pleasure.  Once you've experienced enough pain the most simple things can become enjoyable.  I'm not advocating masochism, but to run away from pain is to deny yourself the pleasure that will balance it out.  This is my personal belief, and I am seeing this message being written in front of me day by day.  Before I hid from the things that brought me pain in my life, and as a result felt only pain.  Now I am standing up to my fears and weaknesses, and while the experience of battling your own demons is painful, you begin to feel the pleasure of accomplishment in overcoming these things.

Lastly know that you are part of God, and that he has your best interests at heart.  Ask for things you want and look closely at your life, you will see chances to do those very things you wished for.  This seems to work whenever what you have asked for is truly in your best interest (not shallow), and not demanded or anticipated.   Have patients waiting for it, you will literally live for an eternity, so whats the rush?

Ignorance is a choice.  Many people are happy with it.  To tell them to wake up, as you seem to have picked up on is STS.  If you seek to be someone who people seek for wisdom, that path will probably lead you to STS yourself.  If you seek knowledge and people come to you for what you have learned, then you may be STO. 

Someone very "in tune" told me recently you have to find who you can trust.  I think the answer to that question might be your higher self or god (Same thing).  The answer to her question to me is; once you learn to trust that someone is looking out for you, you will see that this journey is being built for you to learn, and all you experience is in the best interest of you, the eternal you.  These things you experience are for the you that has to live for eternity with the decisions you have made here, and to learn here those things that will help you in the endless time you will experience once you leave.  You would not be here if you did not choose to come. 

Lastly, I don't think you need to wait 300,000 years to get out.  I tried Ayahausca recently, and among other things, I saw what only could have been a tear into another reality.  I knew that if I went through it I would disappear from this place.  If you become strong enough in character you can see that place through meditation.  With the character required to achieve that level of ability, even death cannot keep you from getting there in a next lifetime.

Hope I didn't tell you to do too much   I won't deny my inner STS.

It's not that I don't enjoy reading and referencing the Cassiopaean transcripts but they are 'channeled'. So this is coming from the matrix not outside of it. Like anything it is a mixture of truth and lies. But, hey that's all we get here. That's something you just need to remember though when working it into your life.