Thoughts that aren't mine (Page 1 of 2)

Kahnsentrayshun (great handle), your meditation has done exactly what the Buddists say it is supposed to do; it has detached you from emotion and the experience of suffering that it brings. They consider this a great blessing and the path to detachment from this world. Unfortunately, you've found that is not your proper path at this time and your "inner self" realizes that you need involvement to grow, not detachment. I don't think that you should stop meditating, though you should consider cutting back the amount,  but you might want to add activities that involve you with others in a positive way. I suggest joining a volunteer group that helps others; look around, be willing to get involved and be open to synchronicities. If you're willing to take the responsibility you could also get a dog or cat; check the shelters for one that needs adoption.

I believe it is a mistake to always wonder if "outside" thoughts are useful guidance. You are trying to grow as an individual, not as a member of some collective; you can only do that by using your best judgement, feelings and individual intuition when making decisions. Your higher self, if it gets involved, knows this and won't try to dictate to you.

Hope this helps.

Kahnsentrayshun,

Some thoughts since you ask for input:
This post is different from you other ones, in which you quote Buddhist dharma and all of that. I think I hinted at this in other replies, but what I want to say is that I find a lot of the Eastern meditations and chanting (droning) practices to be a form of mind control and also controlling the breath, which is what yoga and Tibetan Buddhist meditation are all about, is a form of control. I find especially Tibetan meditation and Insight (vispassana) meditations to be detrimental to me because they emphasize "clearing the mind," and emptiness and all of that. Also the fuzzy, dreamy states. There are other threads on this forum that talk about getting past fuzzy, dreamy states into awake meditation where we are not in a trance, hypnotic state or any other altered state. Food for the Eigth Sphere by druid is a good one on that. This is where I would like to head- to be clear, but not empty, and I have to ask myself "why do all these things stress emptiness?" There are plenty of hollow people walking around, and yeah, yeah, I know they say they don't mean empty like that but... I feel that New Age and Tibetan Buddhist meditation induced a certain amount of dissociation in me that I am just now waking up from. Depression is part of waking up and realizing how separated we have been from ourselves. So this may be why you are feeling depressed. It is now my personal understanding that Buddhist teachings and teachers are part of a really old matrix thread and old energy and that these teachings, rituals and practices are not appropriate for me, a  modern person trying to evolve into the new energy. The best things about New Age and Eastern mysticism, to me, is that I experienced energy as being "real." A real invisible medium. But I need to move beyond that now.

It sounds too me that you are saying that you are ungrounded which is also part of a dissociative state. I don't mean to diagnose you, but from what you write and the suffering you convey in your writing, I believe you may be "scrambled" from a bunch of New Age and Buddhist beliefs and practices.

I do believe that we are ascending, but I don't believe in much of the New Age bullshit surrounding this process, I think that many channelers are mislead by discarnate beings who wish to impair our spritual progress. If thoughts are entering your head and you are clear that you are being used by entities, etc. then that is a pretty clear message to yourself that you do want to use your brain and intellect for discernment, you probably just don't want to be driven by Reptialian brain urges and drives, which are a whole different bag-this is where all the aggression and hostility and so forth arise from IMO. So, I am encouraging you to cut with any brainwashing that may have occured in New Age or Eastern philosophy cults, and it is for you to decide if you have been brainwashed or not. I believe that I was, and that while some magical thinking is essential to bust through the matrix, so to speak, fourth dimensional magical thinking has not been that beneficial to me, just a flip side of the 3-D coin.

One more suggestion, I hope that you don't mind, is that why not spell your name Kahnsentrashin (same phoenetics, more like "shine" and take the "shun" out-see what I am saying, if you feel disconnected from people and like they don't like to be around you, then why not take the shun out? Good luck to you, you seem to be doing some great inner work, and I know that it is hard, hard, work-lala

Z3n3g that was sublime.

I often feel humbled being here, 'standing on the shoulders of giants'. All I can offer is my experience dumb ass as it may seem.

I took the advice of lhs and ordered Melatonin supplement, and the crystal stone selenite.

This was tempered with the readings of Castenada, Tolle and the best of the wisdom of Noble Realms.

Plus, Mission 1017 and the Blue often advocates 'Stop thinking' 'Stop Judging'.

10 days on, Selenite crystals do nothing for me.

Melatonin, however....

On first night, I had multiple lucid dreams, during one, I realised what great stuff I was doing and said (Ego), 'this is brilliant, I didnt realise I could do this kind of thing',.... I immediately had a sensation my backbone being played like a xylophone player striking all the keys on the board, but electronically, and I woke up.

After that, (and on reading Blues re-iteration of the 'Don't think - Don't judge') I applied that logic to my increasingly recurring lucid dreams.

In a lucid dream, you tend to react as you would in life, by thinking, and judging. I tried to be like a Tolkien Warrior, - even though I could control the lucid dream, I just watched, and when provoked to stimulus, I thought, 'Don't think - Don't judge'.... now be aware that  these dreams were not sleeping, but lucid dreaming, whilst fully conscious in mediatation, and .... I started to drift out of my body, into a 'cloud', that was 'sparkling'.

From there I could view my dream, without involvement, and return to it, to a point of perception of someone who was not me, in that same dream.

That 'cloud' I knew, was a Higher realm, that I could reach, by apllying Higher Realm principles to my life. There seemed to be 'others' there - non interfering, but friendly, and somehow, known friends, Higher souls, happy to entertain me.

I had this experience for many times that same night. I got the 'impression' that , once I could perfect this in 'dream-time' , I could start to merge it into my 'waking' life.  I was exstatic.!!.  Problem is, getting back to that state is difficult. Just like the SDP book says, you get a glimpse, then you have to work hard, usually at focussing, gaining true intent, before you can make it happen.

I know now that the dreaming/astral world is our training ground. If we can master that (and it is no easy thing, demands total discipline), then, and only then, can we bring that control into the 3D illusiional world.

The voices we hear are to be quietened, they are the illusion. They are the Aliens, they are the Implants, they are the demons, the devil, they are the witch doctors, the priests, the Gods we adore, The Powers That Be,  they are whatever you want to call them, to make them so strong that they can not be controlled.

They are illusion.

WE ARE GODS. In 3D/4D world these things get a hold on us.

Think about it.  In Astral world, you are God. Who is going to bullshit you? Who.?

Put these illusions to rest in the dream world, totally and utterly destroy them. Do it night after night.

Behave like JC during the day.  Love your GOD (you), Love your neighbour (YOU), with all your heart.

Pretty soon you will see all the demons have gone, as long as you Love your GOD (you), Love your neighbour (YOU), with all your heart.

My mantra..

Live in the present moment only (NOW)
Don't think.
Don't judge.

We are not of this world. What can they do? Kill us? Only physically.. WE ARE IMMORTAL.

Immortal I tells ya.

lhs, another gem of a post.

Why aren't my selenite crystals working for me?  I didn't want to wash them, for they are salt crystals. I don't want to soak them in the Moonlight , because (to my understanding) the Moon is negative. I've prayed/pleaded/ talked to the Deva's of the crystals, but nowt.

Having said all this, I strongly feel my life is guarded by Angels, if something isn't meant to be, then it isn't meant to be - different strokes for different folks, etc;, - I love my crystals, but if it isn't to be that I can work with crystals, then I'm OK with that.

lhs.. I know nothing about how to control my energy flow. I read your posts and try to assimilate them, but feel I have lost out  on the basics. I read the Castanada books, but then I see other teachings.... why don't they teach us this stuff at school?

Could you teach me how to begin to understand ( I really am a simpleton in energy terms, I apologize), how to feel and control my own personal energy. You seem to have gained some measure of control over it, and I would like to learn by your personal experience, or at least understand by your own personal experience of the principles of personal energy movement.

Thank you lhs. I have a lot to think about and a lot to respond to. I don't have the time right now to respond, but I might later tonight (if not tonight for sure tomorrow.) I am amazed by all of your responses. All of you are being very helpful and I appreciate it.

I understand you perfectly, Kahnsentrayshun.

The heart is overrated; alone, it can do nothing.

Neither your throat chakra nor your heart chakra have been blocked... in the sense that in essence a chakra is never blocked.. and thus these two chakras are completely open to the extent that your spiritual progress thus far has indeed been legitimate. Any progress is progress, whether a lesson of harmony or a lesson of disharmony. You experience the latter more, lessons of disharmony, which is LHP (Left Hand Path) as opposed to RHP... the distinction between LHP and RHP is extremely complex.. but what you need to realize now is that neither is better or worse than the other. But since harmony is in general to be saught above disharmony, in the sense of delightfulness, the LHPer must be sure to translate their disharmony into harmony. The culminating realization of both LHP and RHP is simultaneous oneness and difference, which accordingly translates harmony and disharmony as not only neither better nor worse than one another but rather just different, but moreover it translates harmony and disharmony as *one and the same*. Were the LHP less delightful than the RHP, then in the grand scheme of things, as the end is the journey, the RHP would be superior to the LHP. Simply put, for the LHPer sufficiently advanced, the realization of simultaneous oneness and difference is a matter of a 180 degree flip (and then successive 180 flips as one begins to build on their innate base of enlightenment otherwise known as blank slate or infinite spark); for the RHPer sufficiently advanced, conversely, it is a matter of taking each step in the proper direction to ultimately arrive at a culmination of 'achievements' or 'realizations'... there is equal risk in both paths, but in much different manner respectively. The LHP risk is that each flip has the potential for one to travel vast personal distances, and there is no limit to how many flips one may make, to how vastly and quickly one may evolve; the only limit is *how* one wishes to evolve, which is contingent on time to the extent that a given lesson of disharmony takes to be *properly* assimilated (i.e. it is all too easy to be evil). The RHP risk is that if one begins walking in the wrong direction, then even if each step is taken with the best of intentions, if the path is ultimately misguided, then one ends up far off from one's ideal destination and is forced to walk all the way back to square one before being able to make a course correction. Salvation in both these cases is realized in simultaneous oneness and difference - the RHPer may always make a LHP shift to make a course correction mid-course; the LHPer may always ground their othewise erratic and meaningless evolution in the fractal pattern of steps they have thus far taken which is symbolic of their immortal fractally patterned system of (ever-evolving) individuality. So RHP is LHP and LHP is RHP, although each path must possess its own label and function out of necessity.

Pain *is* pleasure. As long as you forget this, however, then you remain in forgetfulness as opposed to self-realization. Although it is easier for the LHPer than the RHPer to realize this, the LHPer is also at greater risk of developing an over-attachment to pain to the eventual exclusion of pleasure... leading to RHP repentance that still misses the point. The most painful thing to do must, by nature, be the most pleasurable thing... to forgive yourself, then, no matter your past, is the hardest and easiest thing to do, and it is the right way.

It is important that you properly distinguish between other people's thoughts and your own. If you think so deeply as to think mostly in an intuitive sense beyond linguistic conceptual convention, then this is a good thing, but, it leaves the surface of your ego open to external manipulation. Ultimately it is a life choice, how much control you want to have over your superficial thoughts. Because, not only will you hear other people's thoughts, but you will also hear thought projections that other malevolent individuals put into your own mind. You risk mistaking these projections for your own thoughts, because allthough they are your own egocentric superficial thoughts, others were only able to implant them into your mind because you pay no heed to your superficial thoughts in the first place. Thus you must be mindful to on the one hand avoid slowly developing a festering belief of some fear and doubt you harbor deep down that surfaces in your external thoughts (which are only projected into you); on the other hand, you must proactively seek out those of your thoughts that are unhealthy and that do actually originate from your own consciousness, for if you mistakenly cut one of these off and deny it, thinking it isn't yours, then this is the worste kind of repression because you don't even realize it is yours in the first place... this will cause trouble down the road if not dealt with proactively.

You do not "have" a subconscious or a HigherSelf... you *ARE* your subconscious and HigherSelf, you *ARE* an immortal agent of consciousness, a soul. It is a very devious tactic of the conspiracy to have you believe in a HigherSelf... because although a belief like a HigherSelf (or in some sort of external God) is often helpful at the start of one's spiritual evolution, later when you are considerably self-realized it becomes an extreme hindrance that you must eventually realize for what it is and transcend. You may wonder how you can have such subconscious power without doing all of it consciously, if I'm saying that you *are* your subconscious... simply, think of yourself as cyclical in nature... you are conscious of the *entire* spectrum of yourself, but more and more the closer you come to your ego, which is your surface level of consciousness (which can only ever exist, even in death, *alongside* deeper thoughts, in the form of silent *mindfulness*.. as opposed to silent *aloofness* I might add)... the more you come to your ego, the more self-conscious you are. In this case is absolute unconsciousness forgetfulness, and your memory is like a computer that you do not know how to access when you forget, but this does not mean that your computer's memory bank is a separate conscious "enlightened" part of you--this is absurd. *YOU* are enlightened! Alone, your unconscious can do nothing, *is* nothing. Now you are cyclical and so just as you have an in-stream, you also have an out-stream... simply put, your most conscious point is your in-stream, and your least-conscious point is your out-stream.. and it is all *you*. *YOU* decide how to literally make every aspect of your subconscious.. except for your divine spark, which is pure enlightenment itself, pure infinity, pure wordless intuitive wisdom... this spark is part of the universall all and is in no way sentient.. it is simply your power source.. which is just like the real thing in the sense that infinity plus or minus infinity is still infinity, and in the sense that even the smallest part of a hologram contains within it the whole thing. Your original fragmentation from the universal all into your individuality was a totally *natural* act, not a sentient act of creation.

Unfortunately I have to go now, but I'll post back in the coming days, I haven't read your entire first post yet.

I should add just to clarify that self-realizaiton entails inputting whatever change you wish unto yourself and outputting it in your subconscious *immediately* because you are self-realized all the way down (until your spark which is forever impersonal in nature). This means changing yourself however you want, whenever you want, permanently. As you work towards this, dischord in terms of your relationship with your spark (fuel source) is signaled by glitches sent to you by your subconscious... a purely mechanistic affair dubbed the HigherSelf. There are infinite potential patterns of individual identity, but some can work more or less harmoniously with a spark of infinity than others (and all sparks are the same). There are infinite patterns of combinations that work 100% perfectly.

Namaste

I've found for myself that the path does lead through the dropping of emotional attachment to this world.  Things no longer hold a charge.  The world just doesn't consume you anymore, if it ever did.

Anyway, that's a good thing from my point of view.  It gives space for the higher emotions.  I don't find it necessary to 'ground' to this world via emotions.  I do that intellectually.  Much easier to not be consumed by the lower emotions that way.  But again, that doesn't mean taking it to the extreme of not feeling any lower emotions.  Always a balance, but the lower emotions can be felt without it holding a charge for the consciousness.  Taking out the charge, I've found for myself, can be done by "balancing via opposites" as I explained above.

Just some further thoughts.