1 Topic by 4dwannabe (edited by 4dwannabe 2007-02-08 08:23:25)

  • Registered: 2006-01-22

Topic: The story of my life, or perhaps, someone else's

I decided, after much deliberation, to post this here, for reasons that will become obvious in later accounts.

     In any story, it is best, to start at the beginning. Since this is the story of my life as I remember it, the beginning will seem quite incomplete and scattered. Please bear with me. I will try, in this telling, to refrain from any judgement, labeling or assumptions. I will not state my time or place of birth etc. as I do not remember these details myself. This account is based soley on my own memories and so it may seem that my life started when I was about 3 years old, and in a way, I guess you could say, it did.
    My first clear memory, or impression is very brief. I have no idea how old I was except that a woman whom I now know as my mother, was holding me with one arm, facing away from her. We were on a balcony in an open doorway and she was having a serious conversation with a man in some kind of uniform. I do not remember the conversation, as I did not understand language at that time(or at least hers). I do however remember the tone of the conversation and I could tell by this alone, 1. she did not know the man, 2. he was asking her something, looking for someone, 3. she was not uneasy or afriad, 4. the brief conversation was not meaningful to her and was quickly forgotton, by her.
    In between this and my next clear impression, there are only sketchy broken memories of playing with my sister, eating , playing with friends and listening to music (I actually have vivid clear memories of which songs and music, words and chords etc. and at the age of about 3 used rubber bands stretched across the arms of a chair, in differant tensions, to make a "banjo") . Mixed in also with these pleasant memories are memories of screaming, violent arguments between my "parents", going to my maternal gandparents' house and returning home.
  My next impression or memory  is of a visitor to our house in Indiana. I was about 3 or 4. A man came to our house whom I had never seen before ,to my recollection. Mother said he was her cousin and he had come to visit us. He brought my sister and I military uniforms, an unusual gift for girls at that time, yet I was thrilled and amazed that this stranger had given me a gift that I had been wishing for and had not mentioned to anyone. I also distinctly remember that no matter how hard I tried to focus, I could not see his face because it appeared blurry and also that he was a very large man. After a short time, Mother and "cousin" went into the bedroom to talk and my sister and I were told to play hide and seek. Before they left the room, the man looked directly at me and then at a large ice chest in the corner of the room. I do not remember getting into the ice chest. I only remember (as if a totally disconnected event from the previous account) Mother opening the chest and getting me out. She seemed very upset and told me about the nature of ice chests and oxygen necessity, etc. and that I should never do that again or I might die. I remember no reaction from the cousin,  I don't remember him leaving. In fact , the only other thing that I remember is that I was not in the least upset or afraid.
...  to be continued.

The opinions expressed here are not nessesarily the opinions of my true self. Something I'm working on, getting rid of false selves. Sometimes one of them takes over and tries (successfuly) to discredit me, lol!
  • Registered: 2007-01-04

Re: The story of my life, or perhaps, someone else's

Great. Good. Its important to share these personal stories. I have many myself, and many questions about my own memories growing up.  Perhaps one day I will be brave enough to share.

My People Were Fair And Had Sky In Their Hair...But Now They're Content To Wear Stars On Their Brows

-Tyrannosaurus rex
  • Registered: 2006-01-22

Re: The story of my life, or perhaps, someone else's

Thanks, Shoogie



Part 2
The next thing I remember, yes the very next thing is my parents are separated. No one tells me this is going to happen I just notice that my father has been replaced by some guy (not the visitor) and I am informed that he will be my new daddy. Within what seems like 2 weeks to me, but could have been months, we move to Pennsylvania and my life becomes a total living hell. My mother becomes extremely depressed and abusive (mostly verbally) to my sister and I and also my stepfather. I don't understand the way people talk at kindergarden, it seems like another language to me. I spend my time alone and confused, I barely remember anything except feeling like a freak, a misfit, alien. We move again and another time and finally my stepfather gets a job for NASA so we go to California. This is where the weird shit starts.
    We find a nice apartment where my sister and I share a room and we have a spare room that is the playroom. I remember being happier here . It is summer, I meet some cool little friends, my mother seems happy, I feel okay for a while.
   One night, out of the blue, my mother decides that it is not good for me to sleep in the same room with my sister. My stepfather seems uneasy but helps my mother move my bed into the playroom and I go to bed alone there that night. I have never been afraid to sleep alone and had always had my own room in other dwellings. For some reason, that night I was terrified. I felt a feeling unknown to me before this night. I have no word to describe it. Some kind of intuition, a feeling I could almost reach out and touch.
  I lay awake for hours, trying both to go to sleep and to stay awake at the same time and then something happened. I later assumed it was a dream but I wasn't really sure.
   I saw two people standing by my bed. They were male and female about 14 years old I guess and looked like me, like they could be my brother and sister. They talked to me with thier eyes, in words I understood yet without sound or moving thier mouths. I was not afraid of them or feeling any sort of emotion. They asked me if I wanted to go for a ride with them and I was quite willing. They put me between them in a little flying craft obviously meant for two. I don't remember seeing anything special except thet people were sitting in the air with no support and there were no children. While I was with them I felt perfectly normal. The next morning when I woke up in my bed, the suffocating fear was back.

...More later

The opinions expressed here are not nessesarily the opinions of my true self. Something I'm working on, getting rid of false selves. Sometimes one of them takes over and tries (successfuly) to discredit me, lol!
  • Registered: 2006-01-22

Re: The story of my life, or perhaps, someone else's

I started this thread while in a very uneasy state. I was troubled, nervous, feeling sickly and miserable. After I made the first  post I felt somewhat relieved and actually had a fairly peaceful day. I didn't really expect anyone to read or comment on it and was only felling like I just had to put it out there somewhere and noble realms seemed like the most suitable place. After I wrote the first post, I started thinking about Lyra (a prominant member here), thinking that she could help me somehow.  I hadn't read  about her abduction experiences and kind of avoided this topic after briefly starting to reveal my own experiences here some months back. I had made a few posts, gotten very paranoid and deleted them. I started visiting here again recently and came across a post about entity attachments, made a short post which was commentented on by lyra in the form of a helpful book recommendation. This got me thinking about her again, thinking she could maybe help me somehow but not even considering aproaching her in any way or asking for help. I went ahead and continued my story yet didn't really feel much point to it, looked around a bit and noticed lyra's recent posts and decided, Why not? I clicked on the most recent one which led me to a link to her recent book on the subject of alien abductions.
   I downloaded the book and began reading. aaaaaaaaaaaaaai! I now know the reason there is no need to continue this story. If I was a stranger who stumbled across this after reading lyra's book, I would probably think... here is some whaco who read lyra's book and changed some stuff around and repeated it. The more I read of her experiences, the more similar our lives seemed to be with the exception of my being a lot older and these type experiences happening to me at an earlier date (1960's and on). I guess the reason I felt led to post here again was to lead me to reading her book, which I have done.  Thanks for being so generous in sharing with us here ,Lyra.  I feel a sence of completeness now and feel I can get on with my alien-free life. Sort of reading between the lines I guess, THE ANSWER JUST SORT OF JUMPED OUT AT ME. We attract what we think about or I guess as children, what others around us are thinking about. Today, I will think about my true self and the true self of others and the true nature of reality. Ah, what a glorious day.
The End

The opinions expressed here are not nessesarily the opinions of my true self. Something I'm working on, getting rid of false selves. Sometimes one of them takes over and tries (successfuly) to discredit me, lol!
  • Registered: 2005-12-27

Re: The story of my life, or perhaps, someone else's

4dwannabe, sounds like you are doing a lot better.  Best wishes to you on your journey.

"...But Nothing is Lost:" "Nothing lasts... nothing lasts. Everything is changing into something else. Nothing's wrong. Nothing is wrong. Everything is on track. William Blake said nothing is lost and I believe that we all move on." - Terrence McKenna - Shpongle - But Nothing Is Lost

6 Reply by 4dwannabe (edited by 4dwannabe 2007-02-11 09:39:10)

  • Registered: 2006-01-22

Re: The story of my life, or perhaps, someone else's

Thanks Capitan, good luck and best wishes to you too.

The opinions expressed here are not nessesarily the opinions of my true self. Something I'm working on, getting rid of false selves. Sometimes one of them takes over and tries (successfuly) to discredit me, lol!