Thanks for the welcome!
I'm interested to hear what everyone's take is on the article in the main page related to the idea of our species being dominated/manipulated by another species who remain hidden. That's quite intense!
Simplified, I'll say that as a very young child I first became aware of the presence of something non-visible, and negative around me at times. My parents had a collection of books related to the occult, demonic possessions, ghost stories, UFO abductions, etc., so there was probably a pretty 'iffy' spiritual climate in the house. They both were probably attracting or producing a lot of negative energy too, which as a kid I was probably more sensitive to than they were.
As a young adult, I was doing a lot of reading and experimenting with pop-metaphysics...astral projection, lucid dreams, trying to see auras, etc. I was also reading and focusing a lot on the occult, and SRA, mostly out of morbid fascination, I suppose.
Sometime in my early 20's, a friend introduced me to Christianity, and that's when the craziest stuff began to happen. We, amongst a small group of close friends, began to experience some pretty hair-raising things (objects moving, conversing with entities through other people (very frightening information related to ancestry, bloodlines and permission), seeing 'clouds' of haze that would follow us, seeing 'back-lit' figures at night with abnormally skinny, angular bodies, light pools with no visible source, flashing blue red and gold 'sparkles' that would appear on people and things, lots of other stuff). As I would start to clean my life of negativity, there would always be periods of what I would call 'resistance'...usually causing a great deal of fear for me, like to make me stop trying. I had a couple of involuntary OBE's involving small child-like things with pure black eyes...horrible. I was never ever harmed though, and felt that I was protected and had stumbled on some kind of law that gave me a position of authority over these things, if I could somehow call it up. Somehow, invoking the name of Jesus Christ would cause all kinds of things to happen. I don't know if it was because we believed it, or because there's an entity named Jesus Christ, or what the case was. Some of the experiences were so intense, that a couple guys would 'block' out the experiences from their memories...and when you'd try to remind them or talk about the experiences, they'd become upset, start to remember then finally block it out again and not want to talk about it.
Eventually, I began to feel that Christianity was not the answer I was looking for (despite what I had seen), that it felt like an incomplete entry into something deeper. This was tough, because it was the primary influence for positivity in my life, and I had started to get conditioned to that particular style of thinking.
I spent a long while reading the so-called 'lost' Christian/Gnostic books, reading the books of Jiddu Krishnamurti, a lot of Zen-style Buddhist writing...and experienced several experiences where all I can describe is that my mind became 'wider' feeling...like I could see more of a larger picture clearly, and my sense of rationality became clearer. But I was also having a tough time putting all of the knowledge, and experiences into a meaningful or rational context.
Around this time, for whatever reason, I developed an obsession with UFO's and the whole alien experience. I've collected hours and hours of videos and a whole bookshelf of books on the subject. I've read about the whole tie-in with the biblical events and the interpretation of that. I've read about the parallels between angelic/demonic entities and the similarity with the alien experience, etc. I've read about native cultures' religions and what they described as gods teaching them. I've read the accounts in the Hindu literature regarding 'gods' visiting with humans, etc. I've read all about the contrails/chemtrails and I've even seen one of the 'black lines' from the nose of one of the planes, like it was following a laser-guide or something!
I went to meet with a lady who had a private practice as a Reiki master, whom I'd been introduced to by some friends. She was also a self-described 'psychic', and I saw/felt enough of her talent to feel that she was legit. She did a lot of 'body energy' manipulation and worked with crystals and remote-viewing/healing. She said I had a lot of negative energy attachments, and that my aura was like a 'sheet of black' when she first met with me. She did a lot of good for me, but it was like the work she was doing was stirring up something ugly in/around me and I had to stop going to the sessions, I think it was more than she expected to have to deal with. She said she began to experience unusual things in her own private life as a result of seeing me in her practice, and went as far as to accuse me of being the cause.
So that's a very abbreviated history of the type of experiences I've had. I think to remain sane and functioning, I've also had to try to 'block' it all out and keep life as simple and mundane as possible. Doing this has put something good in me to sleep that I think should be awakening.
I would conclude that I have a definite sense of being manipulated and dominated by something that at the very least wants to keep me from growing as a positive human being. This 'something' is intelligent and separate from myself. It doesn't own or directly control me, but causes me to be be dulled or puts difficulty in my path when I need to do good. When I get close to figuring it out, or seeing it clearly, it uses intense fear to drive me back to sleep.
The article on the main page was the closest description to what I've been feeling and the conclusions I've come to from all the reading and studying, that I've come across...as crazy as it still seems to me.
Is anyone else experiencing anything like this?
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read all of this, it's tricky to keep it all coherant!
Cheers/Peace
