A personal story and viewpoint on a conspiracy concerning reality

Hey all… so hello, and welcome to my little story.  I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible, since not only is there much to communicate, but I don't want to spend that much time writing about this, as I have done so many times before. 

Ok, so it started before I knew, but I caught on to the beginning of my realization in February 05.  Let's move back a lil'…

In Fall of 04, I found a vacant house in an attempt to move away from my expensive apt situation.  I got 4 people to move into this house.  One of the roommates was a forensic scientist named Emily.  We made our verbal agreements and signed leases… Emily told me that she wanted to make it clear that no illegal activity should be going on while she's there, for fear of losing her job.  Uh oh!  But I smoked marijuana!  After a discussion about the legality of pot (she was for legalization).  I brought up my habit, and she said that if I was caught with it, she'd play dumb about knowing.  This, for some reason, led me to believe that it would be okay as long as I was low key. 

We moved in around September.  Things were okay… noticed a temper in Emily early on (she is a bi polar Scorpio!).  I finally saw her bad side (well, heard it) a few weeks later when I made the brilliant idea of doing mushrooms AND smoking pot FROM my room!  Imagine my stupid surprise when she flips out downstairs (my room was at the top of the house).  She's fuming and going a mile a minute while I'm freaking out.  I went to apologize but she pretended not to know what was going on.  I do have ears, but apparently being on drugs discounts anything you've heard.  I've never heard someone actually trash my entire character before, but it was effortless for her.  Her rambling would completely stop the moment I started walking down the stairs.  Upon going back up to my room, she'd start back up like nothing had happened. 

Okay, so mars is in my 4th house.  If you know anything about astrology, you can imagine that this living situation posed a real problem for me.  I was no longer living with roommates.  I was living in Emily's home, and her word was the law.  Problem!

Later that night a sonic wave spotlight was put on me - a melange of voices weaving in and out… thought it was some device that was used on pcp heads to confuse them.  I'd later learn (in a few months) it wasn't a tape being played downstairs, but an actual non lethal weapon.  I apologized to her again after the evening died down - there was no breaking her.  She is a complete and utter master of manipulation.  She confused the ever living f*ck out of me, and I continued to do drugs in the house.  I know, how bright!  But you see, I really WAS confused. 

Ok, months roll by and I get depressed.  Turns out I have some sort of neurological condition, uh oh!  I start taking adderall, which worsens it.  Uh oh!  More pot.  More wine.  What are those white vans doing outside?  Oh yeah, Emily's on vacation.  Is that even her real name?  Why does she repeat things I say verbatim?  Hey, why are there 12 cop cars around me right now?  Probably because of what I did in my room the other night.  Can I just die now?  How much does one helium tank cost?  And how does Emily know when I became suicidal?  Why does she scan my room with her eyes like a robot when she comes to see me?  A 160 IQ is neato and all, but she really underestimated my perceptive abilities.  I guess when you're that high on the totem, you can miss the mark in many ways.  I'm not an ant, she'd soon learn.

Okay, so Feb rolls around.  I'm done with you, you crazy bitch!  As I tell my roommate Sophie about my departure (and my reason for it), a loud door slam jolts the both of us.  Why, it was Emily downstairs!  But how can she HEAR ME WHISPERING IN THE KITCHEN?  Sophie shoots a half smiling, half scared look like, "Bad move."  The other roommates seemed to be manipulated and/or afraid of her. 

So when I tell Emily about my moving out the next day, knowing that she already knew, her first response is "Wheeere are ya goin'?"  If there's one thing I hate more than habitual liars, it's having to PLAY ALONG WITH THEM.  I can't say, "You know that I'm moving out, and you probably already know where I'm moving to." 

Of course she knew where I was going.  On my first night at the spook house (February 5, 05), I took mushrooms and adderall.  It's not that I was completely self-destructive… it's that I couldn't wait to experience my ritual of warping consciousness again.  Many a ritual were ruined due to this negative force of a roommate.  Just thinking about her was a buzzkill. 

So I hear a female voice upstairs, thinking it's one of my roommate's girlfriends.  I heard "he's going to smoke!" as I rolled a joint.  D'OH!  Panic.  Increased heartbeat.  Trails.  Well, this was not good.  I rushed to the bathroom and back to my room, not knowing what to do.  It was like I was a rat in a little experiment.  It's funny how, in a split second, I knew exactly what was going on.  I laid in my bed, under covers, with a tv on.  The tense feeling was absolute.  All these voices, the creaks and noises coming from upstairs…it was unbearable.  And then they started up the sonic weapons.  At this point in time, I still thought these noises were coming from my tv… I'd turn away from the tv, staring at the wall or closing my eyes.  The swirls of voices came in and out, with them a higher frequency in my head.  When I turned around, I noticed a strange image on the tv.  Looked like a college student production of a commercial.  A slightly overweight blonde woman was spinning around with a mirror … alongside a split screen version of herself - who had a strange makeup and really bad hair.  This was clearly being sent to my television via the cable that connected directly above my room.  Guess who's name was in the bottom left hand corner of the television?  EMILY!  It wasn't a commercial - there was no product being advertised.  It was basically a blue screen with a woman spinning around… mouthing something that I can't quite remember, and I couldn't hear it due to the low low volume of the tv.  By the time the fake "CALL NOW!" screen popped up, I shut off the tv and laid in my bed… it was too much.  My heart still racing, I couldn't sleep… I heard lots of noise upstairs, like people moving around… chatting, whispering, laughing… I could hear my super bass-voiced roommate upstairs, giving his disapproval.  I could hear Emily, screaming "OH, I f*cking HATE HIM!"   

So I eventually fell asleep, got rid of the drugs I had in the house and went to work the next day seeking answers.  What a discouraging time of the year this was.  I felt like my life was over.  Anyway, let's fast forward…

I looked for answers through teachers, coworkers who I could confide in… found that 'america's secret police' website and read it - thought it was that simple.  It's never that simple.  I'd learn it was bigger than just a theory about secretive police.  Later in the summer, I'd go on dates…going out seemed impossible in some ways.  Strange people followed me.  I'd see the same people sometimes up to 3 times in one night, at different locations.  I'd notice some of them exchanging nods or smiles simultaneously.  Then it got worse when I tried to go out to DC for a date.  The guy was obviously "one of them" or just a zombie - I can't differentiate sometimes.  I was attacked in my mind as I strolled the streets of DC - it was everywhere and nowhere.  I really wanted to end it.  At least I got a good hearty laugh from the busker singing his song about our freedom near the Dupont Station metro. 

I later found someone on myspace who I grew fond of… I'd later learn, this year, that he is clairvoyant, to a degree, and knows about the changes that are happening.  He interprets them differently.  And unfortunately, he has a very negative case of the Gemini condition, and we do not talk anymore.

Another thing that started up at the spook house regularly: Noises… bleep!  Squeak!  Buzz!  My asshole roommates knew what was going on and they knew about everything.  One of them even told me that he was an engineer for micro technology.  It was all over the workplace.  I worked at UMD, and most of the people I encountered there would seem to harass me (I say "seem" because looking back, it seems like theses forces work THROUGH the people).  "COUGH!"  "A-HHeeeHEM!"  I was drowned in psychological harassment.  Went to a LGBT meeting in Greenbelt… one of the guests KNEW exactly who I was.  Her reply to every one of my words was "That's cool."  The inflection was in mockery.  And oh god, the smug expression on her face.  You know that look when there is the birth of a smile on both ends of the mouth, and the person's brow shoots up in a look of lazy contempt?  It was just disgusting.  How was this branching out?  Does this, that, and the other person really know about me?  Is some of it merely a force working through these people, like in the actual movie The Matrix?  I didn't think it could be possible for this to happen.  I thought it was a strictly grounded type of attack… I never imagined the use of satellites, magic, mind control and other tools.   After I complained about the mocking use of "cool" to someone, guess what particular word I couldn't stop hearing from every person I encountered from that moment on?  Unreal.

After roughly 6 months of Hell, I moved to my mother's home in July 05.  Didn't end there.  Magnetic paralysis in bed (not the same as pre-astral paralysis), hostile dreams - being stabbed, burned, and FEELING these…sound was shifted around me - doors closing at the end of the house would resonate privately in my ear.  Mom's new guy comes along and of course I couldn't trust him.  I couldn’t trust anyone for a while. 

I guess the most confusing aspect of this is who is on my side, and who is unaware.  In September 05, two friends of mine, lets call them V and B - ended up attacking me at B's birthday party.  I'm not quite sure if I have a degenerative illness or not… but V certainly made it clear that she thought I did, and that it was funny.  I can't even repeat what she said here, because it was so cold and personal.  There is no coincidence… no working around it.  B's comment, on the other hand, was quaint in comparison.  I became sick  after V's comment… violently ill from alcohol.  Each time I vomited, there was this uproarious laughter outside on the patio.  I must have vomited 5 times.  They didn't miss a beat.  As I stepped out of the bathroom, B mockingly assured her friends outside, "Nobody understands him because he's an artist!"  There was a little bitchy insert about my taste in music as well… nice!

Despite this, I actually ended up hanging out with B for suspicion that she wasn't really herself when she made these comments.  I moved away from mom in May of 06, feeling confident about myself (Once I became active in my artwork again, the harassment died down considerably - but still exists).  I hung out with B… out of forgiveness and complete curiosity after having acquired my knowledge.  I learned that she is a spiritual person, but despite this, I let go of her this September due to bad vibes - the people she hangs out with are not as nice as she is to me, to say the least.   

Presently, I'm living with a new couple of roommates, who are pleasant people to live with.  I actually love my current living situation very much, despite my knowledge of their knowledge or my knowledge of the illusion of their knowledge… I simply cannot understand how all of this connects. 

The Gemini who I had a "thing" with told me this year that he believed these forces were trying to help me.  I'll say that some forces have helped me, yes.  And of course I've helped myself.  But it seems quite certain that others out there are not so fond of me.  My natal chart tells of secret people and/or groups who will put their faith into my talents… and I have to say that at this point, I believe it.  I've noticed that, under the influence of marijuana (the only illegal drug I've done in almost 2 years), people change around me.  It's as if something is channeled through them, compelling them to f*ck with me, personally.   That drug is not really an option anymore… I know that "medicating" me is some kind of goal, and my roommate situation is anything BUT coincidental.  The person I moved in with sometimes strikes me as a psychic or magic practitioner… but I cannot be certain.  If you took a look at our apartment, you'd immediately think this person had an obsession with the occult.  I've done an interactive chart for him on astro.com and, at least astrologically, he could be highly influenced to partake in occult activities.  But I don't know that myself.  Even one of our recent roommates, now gone, is a pagan.

There is just this… this knowledge, and I see it in a lot of people's faces… I hear it in their voices, and I observe it out in public.  It's almost as if I keep shifting in and out of two dimensions.  There's dimension A, where I grew up.  Everything is normal there… people don't have these hidden agendas.  And then there is dimension B, where these same people are slightly altered versions of themselves… versions with clairvoyance, telepathy, and insight to the deepest recesses of my own mind.  I try to stop thinking about the possibilities lately.

I've learned a lot in the past two years, and I value what I know quite specially.  I've gained wisdom that many will never see in their current lifetimes.  And I'm especially glad that I found this site… it mirrors so much of what I have experienced.  I hope that I have given you something interesting to read.  There is just so much more that I could have put in there, but this is long enough.  If you have any questions you'd like to ask me, feel free.  Thanks for your time!