• Registered: 2006-05-30

Topic: Self Defense Note

VERBAL ABUSERS

Use make-believe, drama, irrational sentence structures, sarcasm, intimidating tones of voice, surprise, and time-tested cliche's to bypass the intellect and hit people squarely in the emotions. Usually used by those of a child.

Dear___________You have just used one or more of the aforementioned forms of verbal abuse. I request that you: 
               
                                  STOP THAT
                               
                             THAT IS ABUSIVE

                I WON"T LISTEN TO TALK LIKE THAT

Thank-you for your consideration,

Signed___________________                         

(have fun thinking of people to send this to.. it also helps
with ones own  negative thought loops)

  • Registered: 2006-05-30

Re: Self Defense Note

P.S.
This does not work with Personality Disorders, Politicians, or Religion.

  • Lono
  • Lono
  • Walker of worlds
  • Offline
  • From: Oklahoma, USA
  • Registered: 2006-05-03

Re: Self Defense Note

There is an excellent book, which I've long considered the bible of dealing with verbal abusers in all their foms.  It's called "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" by Suzette Haden Elgin.  It's based on Aikido, only it uses words to allow an opponent to fall by the weight of their own attack.  In fact, I just gave a copy to a friend the other day.

  • Registered: 2005-10-16

Re: Self Defense Note

Lono, that book sounds like a great read!  Thanks for the recommendation.  (So much else goes on in verbal communication than just 'words', like energy transference etc.)

Is it hard to find in bookstores?  Is there an e-book version perhaps?

mid-post edit tongue
- just found this e-book link to answer my own question: http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/eBook4311.htm 
- also a VSD summary article she wrote: http://www.howstuffworks.com/vsd.htm

"The unknown does not incite fear, but dependence on the known does." - J. Krishnamurti

visavis's Website

  • Lono
  • Lono
  • Walker of worlds
  • Offline
  • From: Oklahoma, USA
  • Registered: 2006-05-03

Re: Self Defense Note

I'm glad you found it, Visavis!  You can even pick up old paperbacks pretty cheap on Amazon, and used bookstores almost always have it.  It's been around for a while and lots of copies sold.  She also has several other books in the same vein, including one about men and women, and how they abuse or misunderstand each other.