I wanted to bring back this topic since no one has written anything for a while and I have a few things/thoughts to share and didn't know where else to put this.
To put it bluntly, I think I may have an implant of some negative sort in me. I work as a doorman in NYC, which gives me amples of time to read and tonight I was reading "Dear God! what's happening to us?" by Lynn Grabhorn and I had major ear ringings while reading that book. I finished it from front to cover tonight (finished the last 10 pages on the bus back home), which was a pretty easy read, but a few things were pretty annoying. I had some loud ear ringings and it seems that something was tunning in like a radio. It sounded metallic, if that makes sense to anyone and it actually caused some minor discomfort to my ears. The first one came throgh my left ear and lasted about 10-15 seconds. The second and third ringings came through my right ear and again, last about 15-20 seconds. What was interesting too was when I wasn't experiencing those ringings, there was major outer interference that just distracted me from reading pages 50-70. It took me about an hour to read those simple 20 pages. Interferences such as someone just yelling in the street, mumbling some weird mumbo jumbo sentence I couldn't make out, to people that just were talking loud on the sidewalk without that fadedness when someone walks away. It was as if their speech was turned up 10x when they were around my main entrance. Also, food delivery guys that were popping up out of nowhere to deliver food to the residents that live in the building I work at. They were coming in like herds to the point where I thought "if this is some type of interference, then I'll predict how the next take out delivery boy would look like!" And lo and behold, the picture I had in my mind MATCHED PERFECTLY to the next delivery guy that came in. It was pretty weird and freaked me out, but I didn't dwell on it and was just aware of what was happening. Who knows. On the bus, there were these two obnoxious guys, who were talking about their rap careers, lyrics, etc. Instinctively, I knew they were talking crap and their lyrics were pretty horrible
, but whatever. But while trying to read the last 10 pages, they would just talk really loud. When I attempted to read, they would jabber. When I gave up, their voices were a tad quieter. I read anyway, and re-read to make sure I got the material down packed in my mind. Anyway, this was about the book, lots of weirdness while reading it but loved it. About the implants though...
The first time in my life that I became aware of anything that shook me to my core came through a "dream". This happened sometime in early March 2002 when I was 18. One night, before going to sleep, I said a prayer to protect me, strengthen me and to protect my family and said "surround me with the White Light of the Holy Spirit". At the time, I was reading a few of Sylvia Browne books (sidenote: I really don't know about her legitimacy anymore) and while I was praying, I said out loud "from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head, let the White Light go through me". After a few minutes of complete silence/meditation, I physically felt an electric buzzing sound and sensation throughout my body, from bottom to top and back. At first, I naively thought it was the Holy Spirit working through me, but I instinctively thought it was weird and I did not feel safe. It suddenly stopped and the room got really quiet and still. I saw a dark figure at the corner of my room, cloaked in a black hoody-like sweater with no face, but it was grinning. It was weird, no face but I saw its eyes and grin. I spoke to it, thinking it was my 5 year old nephew and telling him to get out of my room and go to sleep, but snapped and thought "wait, he's at home, he slept over last week, not tonight". That's when I became paralyzed while that figure grinned and was coming towards me. It did not walk towards me, but floated. I got freaked out and it was inches away from my face and got scared then my hot tempered Albanian anger (Albanians and other Balkaners have hot tempers
) just thought resoundingly "you f**king f***er!!!" and somehow got out of that paralyzed state and woke up. Instinctively, I wrote it down on paper. I don't know why I did it, since I have never done that before, but wrote it down. I tried to forget about the incident and did for a while, moving along with my life with school and work.
After what happened, I began to see the numbers "3:33" on digital clocks wherever I went. I wasn't even purposely trying to look for it, it just showed itself all the time. Again, I didn't think much of it and thought "God's protecting me" or whatever. November of that same year, it showed up again, but only briefly while half asleep. It was early November and while half asleep, I saw the little guy again. I was of course, terrified, couldn't get my body to move while having the thought "what the hell do you want?" Again, my anger came out, put as much force and energy to wake my body up and woke up. I ran downstairs from my loft room and hung out with my siblings to sane me up a bit. That 3:33 kept occuring and I was extremely sad, thinking "On March, 3rd, 2003 I will probably die". I was naive and didn't know how else to interpret it. Obviously I did not die and my "thoughts" died about those incidences.
Fast foward to 2006. This year, I've been thinking about those "dreams" alot. Why? I don't know, I guess it's my natural side of me that just questions everythings and it resurfaced. It was pretty annoying because it was in my head while thinking "what the f*** was that? Why did it happen to me?"etc. This year was also my year of something huge changing inside of me. Weird things such as those ear ringings/tones happening more often, looking at things/people differently, etc. And whenever I would question something or read something, I would usually get ear tones or space out. I used to LOVE spacing out, but realized lately that the ear tones/rings and spacing out produced the SAME trance oblivious like state that I'm not so hot about anymore. It's like someone is tuning in and after tonight, hearing that tunning sound like a TV in the 40's and 50's sound, it all became a little too weird. Also, numerology has all of a sudden have been following me , especially the number 2 and 4. i.e., adding my date of birth, time of birth, addresses, zip codes, dates that have meaning all would add up to...4. Weird. Anyways, I'm done for now and will add on some more because I'm a bit tired.
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
– Carlos Castaneda