Topic: A meditation instruction i feel i should post
This is quite simple and quite powerful, i just did it myself and i feel i must post this here.
Sit down calmly and connect with your emotions and get ready to cry.
Cross your hands as if you are praying and then simply say out loud or quietly that "i ask for forgivness from the person i was. I am not the person i wanted to be and i have betrayed the ideals i yearned for".
This you who exists now is the same and different than the you who existed a day ago and a second ago. And I ask for forgivness from all the past seconds of me who i failed and betrayed. Especially the child who i was and with so full of joy and slowly i degenerated to the person i am now. I thought i was improving but all i was doing was slowly degenerating. It is like thinking you are moving because the RPM on your car is increasing. But if you have no gear you will simply burn out.
The word i posted in the meditation instruction dont do justice to the actual meditation. The simple idea is that you seek out and ask for forgivness from the person you used to be. Before you sucumb to the preassure of being something. Even of being who you are. I am very strong in being who i am but my idea of who i am is false and not based in reality. So even when one thinks they are true and paying homage to themselfs they are still worshipping a false idol.
What snapped the camels back for me was when i finally found someone who loves me. Even without being int he romantic sense but a person who does send me genuine love i could no longer react to it in a way i wanted to because i was no longer who i wanted to be but a idea of who i wanted to be. When one developes the spiritual one forsakes the emotional and the physical very often. Even when i focused on doing the emotional and the physical it lacked the substance of any true emotional work and i can see that many here do the same. I know not if this will work for you but i wanted to give it out.
