WHICH IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO PRESENT A CONSPIRACY THEORY?

It is not what you say or claim, but the way you can tap the fundamental fears, feelings of helplessness, frustration, etc. of your listeners.  For example, blame your conspiracy on some disadvantaged or suspicious social or ethnic group which you never liked anyway.

Present a theory which is coherent, systematic, and internally consistent but which has no means whatsoever of verifying through empirical observation.

If you must present evidence, use only one independent source.

Make sure your conspiracy is being discussed openly.  But leave numerous trails of disinformation containing false evidence that will cause the investigators of your theory to be publicly ridiculed and debunked so that your actual conspiracy can remain hidden.

Create “real�  conspiracies by funding and promoting extremists groups whose actual threats and radical ideas. This will distract anyone with intelligence from discerning the deeper, far more malicious and devastating conspiracy you are planning.

Never ever link yourself in any way to a conspiracy.  Instead, inspire and feed information to young, naïve but highly motivated and talented individuals so that they imagine themselves creating the conspiracy.

There really are no conspiracies.  If there were, Copernicus, Newton, Einstein, Columbus, Martin Luther, Gandhi, the signers of the Declaration of Independence, etc. would have to be called conspirators.  Its all how you look at it.

There is no best way to present a conspiracy theory.  When you feel helpless, vulnerable, or used, simply blame your feelings on an invisible organization that is in control, invulnerable, and abusive.  If you can’t find one under “the official list of old and new conspiracies�  on Google, feel free to make one up.

If you get tired of hearing about conspiracies, simply convince yourself that you are the one behind the scenes controlling the fate of the world.

Those who believe in conspiracies lack imagination because they fail to understand both sides of a question.  Every conspiracy, even real ones, on some level has a valid interest and a useful purpose.  Lord of War is a brilliant movie because it allows the bad guy to fully articulate his motivation and purpose–e.g., the protagonist says more people are killed by alcohol and tobacco than by the sale of guns each year; and the U.S. sells more weapons to other nations in one day than he sells in a year; and he serves the U.S national interest by selling arms to countries which the U.S. can not officially support.

A movie like Syriana is not so brilliant because it blindly labels international oil companies as being bad while failing to represent their legitimate functions.  And it stupidly assumes oil reserves are running out.  Canada alone has a hundred years of global oil supply that can be converted from sand and shale.  The international oil companies have to invest twenty years in advance to meet global demand.  And an oil company is not a welfare agency or FEMA or the Red Cross.  It is owned by its shareholders some of whom are firemen, cashiers, and bell hops.  And the Saudi Royal family is not simply inefficient and needs to become more efficient.  Most likely the entire ruling class needs to be removed before the country will invest in infrastructure and create jobs for those citizens who are not politically connected.

You don’t have a compelling movie until the bad guy states the real reasons why what he does is the best thing for everyone (at least in his own mind).  The same with a conspiracy–you have to get inside the mind of the conspirators and allow them to articulate with great intelligence why their actions are invaluable.  (And of course, once you truly understand the minds of the conspirators you are officially authorized by akasha to modify that conspiracy according to your own secret purposes.)

UFOs are taking possession of the minds of human beings?  Well then human beings can take possession of the minds of UFOs.  No one gets a free pass when it comes to world domination.  There is always someone in the wings ready to steal the movement and drive it in a new direction.  And this person could be you.

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I didn't actually write this but I thought I'd like to sure it with everyone. Pretty funny stuff! Now you use this as a Do it yourself Conspiracy theories guide to creating the best conspiracy theory ... ever!