Where to draw the line?

This is a very thought-provoking discussion on the nature of relationships.

I like how you introduce the idea of duality vs. oneness.  Although with true "oneness", there really is no duality - no "versus".  In any case, what it comes down to is not so much a case of "us vs. them", but a case of "I vs. me".

There is the one "I" of which we are each an expression...and then there is "me" - the egoic version of "I" - the one that focuses on uniqueness, individuality, and "being special".  When the perceived "unique" qualities of "me" are in any way devalued, that threatens the very existence of "me", in which "being special" is of the highest importance...then comes the unconscious defense reaction.

We can turn the devaluation around and say, "that's their problem, not mine", but this statement calls into question the defensive reaction, as well as the source and nature of the problem, i.e. "it's my problem in the first place that it's their problem and not mine".  Why defend and rationalize unless we sense being attacked and devalued in the first place?

The true "I" can never be devalued, for it simply "is" and shall "be".  The true "I" needs no defense for it cannot be attacked.  It occupies no space, unlike the ego, so there are no lines that can be drawn.  Attacks, defenses, struggles, relationships, and boundaries only exist within the realm of the duality.

As you correctly state, "observing the experience" (to become the unencumbered observer) is to know the truth - to transcend the duality and, in effect, see it for what it is.  This is the standpoint of "no-negative/no-positive".  And while the duality still exists so long as it is being observed from the other, the need to become defensive no longer exists.  Being a part of the "negative/positive" relationship is derived from being unconscious of the duality and one's involvement in such.

As to your question of perceiving negativity from the other as reflective of the same negativitistic internal state, you are probably quite correct with your assessment.  As to your question of whether the present-awareness of this condition enables a way to "shield" one's "self" from external attack, I think if one reaches a truly enlightened state, the need to "shield" one's self will no longer be necessary.

Neo asked whether he'd be able to dodge bullets if he were truly "The One".  Morpheus said to Neo if he were truly "The One", he won't have to.

JZ

Okay, for starters, this whole "we're all one!" thing gets taken waaaaaaay too far.  It gets taken to the extreme of "If you're arguing with somebody, you're really arguing with yourself!"  "If somebody insults you, they're really insulting themselves!"   That really annoys me to no end.  !

People don't understand what "All one" actually means.  It doesn't mean we're one pile of indistinguishable goop that's wrestling with itself.  We're individualized expressions of the prime creator source.  Free thinking, independent sovereign units that have control over what we do and say.....and that yes, connect back to the creator source.  But we have a say in how our lives go, and have a responsibility for the things we do, versus an indistinguishable pile of "ALL ONE!" goop. 

So with that said.....!

When we're truly confident in our own skin and really and truly know ourselves, it won't matter what anybody says to us.  We'll just be able to look at them and smile and think, "Huh.  Their issues.  Not mine."   They can say whatever they want to you, but you'll be at a point where you won't care what they think and it won't matter, because you'll *know* that it's them.   By *know* I mean knowing/feeling something on a core level, versus only intellectually knowing it.  I'm getting to that point recently in my own life, and actually wrote a post about it yesterday, then changed my mind and decided not to post it.  So interesting coincidence to see you talking about the exact same concept a day later! 

When you get to that point it's like moving up to the next level.  People's attacks or rudeness will sound muffled and far away.  Because you'll *know* who you are.  You'll see them, and the situation for what it is, and so it won't affect you.  We get upset by people's rudeness or attacks because we take it personally.  The ego gets bruised.  Part of that moving up to the next level involves naturally getting to a point where we no longer take things personally.  We just don't care.  It doesn't matter.  It's them.   Our ego is no longer so inflated and hyper sensitive that it gets all ruffled by the things people do.  It's a cool place to be, but it everybody has to get their on their own.  Someday an incident will happen to a person that will just make it all "click" and come together.  Then they'll know it on a core level, versus just intellectually knowing it.

I'm not picking on you when I say this, but in your case, the attack is showing you that you're working at a job that's grossly incapatible with who you are.  Yet, you choose to work there.  Why?   You have people that "jokingly" call you "gay" because you prefer silence over noise.  You don't treat people like that.  So....why do you put yourself into a situation where you yourself will be treated that way?   Ultimately, that's what the big lesson/relationship is here.  You're putting yourself into an incompatible realm and that incompatibility is mirrored back in the form of an obnoxious working environment.

In these times, the name of the game seems to be about realm compatibility.  We'll become increasingly more sensitive to places that aren't compatible with who we are, whether it be where we live, or where we work, and definitely our interpersonal relationships. 

Be more careful and selective with where you choose to work, otherwise you'll just keep running into these situations.   Intend that you'll find a nice place to work - make a mental list of what you'd like at a job, the kinds of people you'd prefer to work for, the type of work you'd like to do.  When you interview at a place, put out your intuitive feelers.  As they walk you through the place take a look at the people around you.  Do they seem friendly, relaxed, happy?   Or are they tense, busy, bustling, amidst chaos?  How about the person interviewing you?  Are they nice?  What kind of feeling overall do you get from the interview?  These are all the things that everybody needs to start doing I think, if we're going to begin moving ourselves into a more positive reality/realm.   There's all this talk about "the shift" and "ascension" but we have to start living it in our day to day lives, and it starts by requesting what we want, using intution, and making better choices.   You can't get *there* if you remain *here.*   

Anyway.  That's my fortune cookie post for the week. 

Thanks for all the responses everyone.  It sheds some light on all my questions and experiences.

I agree.  Thankfully, that was my last shift, and I am free from that place.   I've felt for awhile that the work environment wasn't for me.  I feel though, that I had to talk about certain ideas around there, to help some others see that "there may be another way".  Intrestingly enough, while working there I met one person who believed that "Only 1% of the worlds population can become self-aware", another who supported capitalism, George Bush and Canada's new prime minister, three people who thought that WW3 is inevitable/that the world cannot be healed and it shall always be this way, while the boss had begun his "spiritual" journey reading books on the subject (mostly The Celestine Prophecy) but we had a few discussion on free will/reincarnation while a few people understood the corporate America/Illuminati conspiracy.  So it has been quite an experience seeing other people's views on the subject of life. 

Thats good advice.  And I'll certainly keep that in mind while I search for a new job.  Thanks.

And thanks again for all the posts.

This is your journey, this sojourn through the perceptions of your world. If you are to grow, you will want to see those parts of you which are fragmented and lost to your consciousness.. Each lesson is valuable; each day has meaning; every valuable moment increases your awareness. Do not avoid those opportunities placed in your path--for these are the reflections of the human soul; each fragment, a slice of the whole of God. Value what you will, and discard nothing, for each is an important piece in the puzzle of life.

Have gratitude for rejection; without it you would blindly wander amougst those who give you little insight into your greater being. Have compassion for those lost fragments of God, and be aware that you also reflect the lost parts of others. Embrace rejection with acceptance; gladly own those parts of you that are revealed in others; pay attention to the deeper hidden secrets which they reveal beneath the outer image of composure; forgive yourself, and be a glad  receiver of wisdom.

"Wisdom is manifest in the heart by unconditional loving, not by justifying an inner voice of superiority"
~~carefulcarpenter