Hi cyborg,
I have a personal account with Prozac.
In my experience, depression can be summed up as being overly attached to emotion.
That is not to say emotions are bad, but balance is needed.
In 1992, I played around quite a bit with psychotropics.
Had some awesome revelations as far as what is "possible", in a short period I went from being sort of average, to being keen on how limited our "normal" perceptions are.
In short, I quickly became very bored with sober reality.
The separation in the two different "realities" became too much to bear, and it made my pre-existing depression magnitudes worse.
So at the prompting of my parents (who were unaware of my dabblings)
I began to see a psychiatrist.
All they were seeing was my negativity and hopelessness, and they were understandably concerned.
After 2 or 3 sessions, my shrink prescribed to me Prozac.
This was late '92, and SSRIs were still relatively new, I believe they were only approved by the FDA a few years prior.
My doc told me I needed to take the Prozac for 2 or 3 weeks before they would "kick in"
He also warned me not to discontinue them abruptly, or without notifying him.
Well, about the time they did begin to kick in, I knew I was in a world of shit.
As I said above- I think a main factor in deep depression is being unable to let go of some things, or trivialize them when they really need to be trivialized.
But I did a 180. On the meds I began to feel profoundly detached, like I was losing my being, and my identity.
The depression was nowhere near as bad as being under the influence of Prozac.
I shortly thereafter removed myself from the meds, and stopped seeing my psychiatrist.
Because before the Prozac, I was unhappy, yes very unhappy.
I tell you this with no reservation, I knew if I continued with the "therapy"
I would be dead.
Not unhappy, dead.
At no point in my life did I feel more futility, more regret and more pain than when I was wearing that mask.
I will take depression over that anyday.
What the Prozac did was show me how horrible it is to become completely separated from one's own emotions, and I realized that me and only me could fix, or begin to alleviate
the depression that I had brought upon myself.
This is key.
Most people who suffer true depression do so because they simply feel too many things are "out of their hands".
And guess what?
THEY ARE!!
None of us has the power to change the world.
We DO have the power to change our
PERCEPTIONS of the world.
This set me on my path of spirituality.
And 14 years later, it's all so clear why I had to endure this test.
I'm sure you've all heard, "In order to understand, to appreciate what life really is- we must hit rock bottom"
.....Or something to that effect :-)
I am a survivor, and I am proud to say I overcame this myself.
I hope this helps! J
"I hate dreaming. because when you want to sleep, you want to sleep. Dreaming is work. Next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex landlord"
-The late Mitch Hedberg