• Registered: 2006-02-15

Topic: Dance of Defiance into a New Era

Over the weekend I attended an outdoor techno party in the middle of Scotland which really made an impact on me. I will give you a brief background before attending to my main point.

For a number of years some friends of mine have been holding parties at an old ruin of a castle and have built up a good level of trust with the local forestry commission to the point that they have free run of site in the knowledge that they will leave it spotless at the end of the event. The beauty of the location (beyond the trees/loch/castle/view) is that it is a natural heritage site. According the Criminal Justice Act 2003 (UK) any gathering of over 40 people can be broken up by the police without any cause. This act does not apply to National Heritage sites (hence the reason why Stonehenge is not open to public -because once they get their there is no power to remove them) and this leaves a hassle free spot to have a party.

Now to the point of my post.

At this party their was a real sense of a special energy in the air and an overriding drive to make the weekend a psychic blot of defiance against banality . Due to its location there was nowhere to go and really nowhere to hide unless you had a tent. This combined with most of the people in attendance being on acid inevitably led to a large degree of tension. The aim of the event seemed to be to turn this energy and the lack of places to go into a coercive advert for living in the moment. The organisers and a many of the attendees were people who have been living a life that is tuned into and goes along with the energy of the universe. This they hinted at in a variety of ways with a very upbeat attitude. All over the area little groups would congregate and then splinter to share what they have just been up to with another group. Great care was taken to remember names, actions and conversations and talk of the self seemed to be a complete no no. Through constant kind words and reminisces this good vibe built and a sense of the event being beyond political / theoretical action/words, and actually a genuine piece of change in action, developed. The humour ranged from very base but good natured to genuinely clever and hilarious on the spot wit, ‘I better go quickly before there’s another coincidence’ and everyone seemed to share (sometimes subconsciously) an understanding of our planets current rush into the future.

I actually tripped out into a complete negative thought feedback loop based around my perceived inability to be part of this ‘beacon of intent’ and insecurities surrounding my personal life. I could feel the energy and desperately wanted to be part of it but was unable to pull myself out of my mental ditch and consequently felt increasingly paranoid and unhappy whilst pulling down the vibe of any area I went to. This feeling was increased by the ‘super mirror’ properties of LSD. Everyone I spoke to seemed to have a message for me (most of these very valid and to the point) and I could not deal with this. This banter, which appeared to me to be very STO in nature (helping peoples evolution through ambiguous messages in normal conversation), I have found much more useful than direct critical analysis in realising areas of myself that need work on but it also has a tendency to lower my self esteem due to my perceived inability to reciprocate. Due to this I left early but the party continued for another day and night. There is going to be another one next year and i really think that it will be a seriously powerful happening, I hope to have rectified my self-esteem issues by then so I can join in the energy boosting rollercoaster.

Anyway I have kinda ranted on about a variety of things so far in this post and I hope it makes sense. What I really wanted to share from this experience is witnessing powerful desire for change. Most of you that post on this forum (generalisation!) seem to have only a small base of friends that are open to the woo-woo wooosh that earth appears to be going through, from the (in many ways very un-enjoyable) experience I had over the weekend I found that the changes seem to be manifesting in various ways on a larger scale, the news looks good smile

The greatest catalyst to change comes from accepting thyself
  • From: sw tz rl nd
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Dance of Defiance into a New Era

kryptokabbage wrote:

I actually tripped out into a complete negative thought feedback loop based around my perceived inability to be part of this ‘beacon of intent’ and insecurities surrounding my personal life. I could feel the energy and desperately wanted to be part of it but was unable to pull myself out of my mental ditch and consequently felt increasingly paranoid and unhappy whilst pulling down the vibe of any area I went to. This feeling was increased by the ‘super mirror’ properties of LSD. Everyone I spoke to seemed to have a message for me (most of these very valid and to the point) and I could not deal with this. This banter, which appeared to me to be very STO in nature (helping peoples evolution through ambiguous messages in normal conversation), I have found much more useful than direct critical analysis in realising areas of myself that need work on but it also has a tendency to lower my self esteem due to my perceived inability to reciprocate. Due to this I left early but the party continued for another day and night. There is going to be another one next year and i really think that it will be a seriously powerful happening, I hope to have rectified my self-esteem issues by then so I can join in the energy boosting rollercoaster.

I used to go to this kind of party and, more often than not, went into paranoid trips. Often during these trips I would feel worse and worse. I thought that I was looking at myself "objectively", that it was helping me to "evolve" but in no way did it really help. There were indeed people who could identify faults in my ego, etc, but they were predators who used this awareness to attack me, and with drugs I could do nothing to shield myself. So I later realized that this paranoia was normal, that my soul was trying to protect myself from getting too caught up into these beautiful illusions... because the people there, so nice in appearance, were really working for the "other side". If it was a goa/psytrance party, you should know all of them are controlled, lots of nice people but the organizers are here to trap souls. I've lost a friend there. Be careful, it's easy to get possessed... I could tell you more but it depends if you want to hear it. Maybe you could email me.

ermolai's Website

  • Registered: 2006-02-15

Re: Dance of Defiance into a New Era

ermolai wrote:

i used to go to this kind of party and, more often than not, went into paranoid trips. Often during these trips I would feel worse and worse. I thought that I was looking at myself "objectively", that it was helping me to "evolve" but in no way did it really help. There were indeed people who could identify faults in my ego, etc, but they were predators who used this awareness to attack me, and with drugs I could do nothing to shield myself. So I later realized that this paranoia was normal, that my soul was trying to protect myself from getting too caught up into these beautiful illusions... because the people there, so nice in appearance, were really working for the "other side". If it was a goa/psytrance party, you should know all of them are controlled, lots of nice people but the organizers are here to trap souls. I've lost a friend there. Be careful, it's easy to get possessed... I could tell you more but it depends if you want to hear it. Maybe you could email me..

Thanks for your reply ermolai:

i have been coming to the same conclusion with regard to the paranoia aspect of my partying. i have recently decided to stop smoking grass for that reason. With regard to what you where saying about people attacking you, i can kinda relate to it and have even spoke to one of the people that was contribuing to my feelings of disease me and they did not actually realise how far they had gone and they are normally a very kind and complimentory person. At the same time i really feel that i learned a couple of things that i really needed to hear and after working over those issues since the event i feel a whole lot better.

With regard to the organisers trying trap souls (for the record it was actually a Techno party much more disjointed pure sound than a trance inducing beat), i would be quite dubious about this as i have know them for a long time and they really do 'seem' of STO type oriantation although it is very hard to be objective about friends (just in the unlikely case they are reading this- hi guys - no bad feeling ment at all), but would be very interested in what you have to say about it. If you are happy to put it on a public message board please do if not then you can email me.

The greatest catalyst to change comes from accepting thyself
  • From: Germany
  • Registered: 2004-12-06

Re: Dance of Defiance into a New Era

Ermolai wrote:

If it was a goa/psytrance party, you should know all of them are controlled, lots of nice people but the organizers are here to trap souls. I've lost a friend there. Be careful, it's easy to get possessed... I could tell you more but it depends if you want to hear it. Maybe you could email me.

Hi ermolai, you announced to write about that ...a while ago in another thread. I'd be really interested to read about your experiences. And maybe, some others too.

A man is born gentle and weak. At his death he is hard and stiff.
Green plants are tender and filled with sap. At their death they are withered and dry.
Therefore the stiff and unbending is the disciple of death. The gentle and yielding is the disciple of life.
  • Registered: 2005-10-11

Re: Dance of Defiance into a New Era

What you seem to indicate here is a group of people with possibly quite varying intent opening themselves up to hyperspatial domains also within an ancient energy sight. This sounds like a recipe for problems.
We are into the times now where those types of potentiators are down for very diminishing returns unless you are dealing with exogenous mirror substances in a very shamanically controlled set and setting.
Just a few thoughts.

StarCat
  • Registered: 2005-07-09

Re: Dance of Defiance into a New Era

ermolai wrote:

If it was a goa/psytrance party, you should know all of them are controlled, lots of nice people but the organizers are here to trap souls. I've lost a friend there. Be careful, it's easy to get possessed... I could tell you more but it depends if you want to hear it. Maybe you could email me.

Hi, I think you struck an interesting nerve. I too am interested in your perspective here. So ditto prev. requests. Please email me, if you are not comfortable posting it publicly.

Where I'm located there aren't any goa/psy parties, I used to go to a lot of raves (5 yrs ago). But I am a big fan of goa/psytrance music. I went to one goa party in my life over in Germany and it was great. It seems to me in goa/psy scene there are several layers. I think it was pretty much hippy derived LSD party, mixed with some eastern mystical ideas. I've always felt that many of the people there have very positive ambitions regarding raising consciousness and a STO path. But this is also me saying this being far removed from the actual scene. I chat with several DJs and other fans online, and there are some great people involved who I feel are very positively oriented trying to bring more light or make the world a little bit better with their efforts and it seems sincere to me.

On the broader level I see the majority of people being typical partiers. They want drugs, alcohol, sex. Only party for the surface aspects, and the goa/psy party is just a carnival to entertain them during their drug high. And since the older melodic goa has spawned into the modern psytrance, there has been a splinter/offshoot of "dark" psy. So like the rave scene I experienced locally, it looks like a lot of darker influences and energies have rushed into the scene. A lot of hate and anger flaring up between people and some very dark outlooks in parts of the scene. I think the growth in popularity of this music has hurt it.

So all throughout the music there are little keywords in names and samples, and symbols/geometry in the artwork. I guess the question is how "spiritual" is this trance music. Is it just a very shallow understanding, some little candy coating there to entice people into it with good feelings, just to encourage you to take lots of drugs and get really f*cked up all the time and spiral down the toilet under the pretense of some sort of enlightening experience?

For me, I think exposure to this genre of music led me eventually to NR. I quit the party scene years ago, since then drug use has declined to zero, and through a few interesting coincidences with ppl in the goa/psy scene, I was led to interesting information like McKenna's timewave zero theory, and 2012/mayan calander. And all that sparked a journey that has taken me to places and changed me in ways I could not have anticipated. I think that was all for the better. I have a lot to learn and have a long way to go still. But I appreciate the scene as a sort of stepping stone.

OTOH, most of the people in the scene are cronic pot smokers, some are alcoholics, and there is always a strong emphasis on drugs. They always have to be high. And most of them that's as far as it goes. They're nice and friendly, but also not into any deep philosophy, and I've felt like they're missing an opportunity with something that is playfully right under their noses.

I've considered before, that I could be getting more involved in the trance/music scene, trying to write music or DJ, organize a party etc etc. In those sort of what do I want to do with my life moments, and running that through my mind. And there's always some resistance. Some but but... and I think of all the downsides to that scene, all the crap that comes with it. All the flakey people on drugs acting stupid. Artifical drug induced empathy and love while they're tripping or on ecstacy. And it makes me recoil, because I want to reach for something that is more pure, higher refinement, and more value and I can't honestly say that I see it in the goa/psytrance scene itself. Compared on averages to general society, I think it's a little better but it's not saying much.

So I think the people who are on a spiritual STO path and are aware of what they're doing are few and far inbetween. That most of it is pretty shallow and the vast majority miss those cues when they are given. And in general it's more of a distraction, than actually raising consciousness through some sort of shamanic trance dance. I liked those parties though because I would show up and get lost. I was aware of everyone else around me, but I'd just get lost in myself and some sort of flows with the music and whatever. It would sort of make me travel someplace else and it was pretty cool. I always thought it was my job there to try and raise the energy of the place, and run around trying to be helpful to other people in the place, and there are others around there who would basically endevore to do the same. And try help people who were uncomfortable to be more comfortable.

StarCat wrote:

What you seem to indicate here is a group of people with possibly quite varying intent opening themselves up to hyperspatial domains also within an ancient energy sight. This sounds like a recipe for problems. We are into the times now where those types of potentiators are down for very diminishing returns unless you are dealing with exogenous mirror substances in a very shamanically controlled set and setting.

That's very interesting. I would have to agree, based on things I am learning slowly. At the very least it seems like it would be a potential danger. I think my own explorations were beneficial, but I also sensed the diminishing returns and hence quit using them. I'm a little more cautious as to what I'm opening myself and exposing myself to these days but there is still a little battle raging with me. One of my best friends from long ago, is still in the hardcore athiest materialist path and writes dark music in the goth/industrial genre. I'm still not sure how to deal or resolve this completely. There's obviously some significant things for me to learn from this situation since it is such a prominant a factor in my life. It seems to be getting nastier these days to as I push onward reading NR religiously and other stuff trying to make progress. So I don't always feel that I have completely broken free, like I'm trying to tread water with weights attached to my ankles, still pulling me down...

Anyways, I think if someone is selective in their choices, there are good things in the psychedelic trance scene. Though at least my own experiences in the party scene in general, it's easy to get carried away and hooked up with bad influences and have things go south quickly.