The Bad Side . . . (Page 1 of 2)

Lemniscate, it sounds as if you have yourself a "petty tyrant."  I'm hardly a Castaneda buff, but in Castanedan terms, a petty tyrant is somebody who seems as if they were dropped into our lives to push our buttons.

I don't really know what I would do if I were in your position; although I've had my share of "stupidvisors." 

Maybe if I were in such a position I would spend a whole day focusing on neutrality, on not reacting to him, or letting him evoke an emotional response.  ("Don't feed the animals.")  Actually, something that works with me is telling myself that the crazier a person gets, the funnier I'll find it and the more I'll laugh.  Though, in your case, if you laugh in front of him he might think you're laughing at his sexist jokes.  Hmmm.

The dark streak in me, reading your post, tells me that this guy would be too easy to set up.  He's dug himself a pretty deep hole and I'm guessing that he isn't liked by other people at your workplace either and is probably successful because of how he massages the right few.

So the dark side of me suggests that if it were me I would do a bunch of little things (maybe even plan a little thing per day) that I could do as "extra-credit" that would flame the guy's insecurity.  Not big things, not time-consuming things.  The big, time-consuming things are usually the things that the underlings do anyway; the bosses usually do the little things that are impressive to customers (or the things that the underlings aren't allowed to do because, well, then the underlings would be bosses).  And if he charged me with trying to take his job I'd play stupid and pretend that I was doing what I was doing because I wanted to and liked to do it.

The other thing: petty tyrants are usually two-sided.  They'll be mean as hell to underlings, being insulting or shouting, but when the big boss is around they'll be as cool as a cucumber because they don't want to look like they're out-of-control.  But you say your big boss is a psychopath, so I don't know.  But the dark side of me would bring up the racist/sexist stuff in front of the big boss while the guy was around.  I wouldn't privately go to the big boss "with concern."  I would just wait for the guy to say something racist and then say, neutrally, "You realize 'white' people are 'colored,' too, you know.  I mean, unless you're albino, you're more of a pink than anything else."  Or, "When you say 'colored' people, do you mean the pink-colored people?  Or the brown colored people?"  Expose his stupidity.  And I'd start referring to him as a "colored" person since he does have color.  Or, hell, maybe I would I say, "You know people are offended by that, right?" in front of the big boss.  I'd do it because the guy would be forced to reneg in order to look good to the big boss.  But I wouldn't make a point of it, I'd just bring it up casually.

Of course, if the psychopath big boss says, "I think we should be able to call them 'colored'" or whatever, well, then what's the point?

But that's the dark side of me. 

The little angel tells me I'd focus on neutrality and totally stop reacting to him and just tell him point-blank that he seems insecure.

Your ego is responding to his ego. Try to keep your reactions under control. Even better, don't react at all. Although I know this is easier said than done.

I don't know if you're just venting or actually looking for advice, but if you're looking for advice, I would say, just ignore this guy. Just don't even react to him or let him bother you. When you have to deal with him, keep it as short as possible, and don't show any emotion. His ego wil just feed on your emotions. Don't even argue with him, it only makes these situations worse.

Basically, there are two things you can do in a situation that you don't like:
1) accept it
or
2) change it

But just think, all the time you waste even being bothered by this person is time you could spend doing something more peaceful and productive. So either accept the situation or do something to change it, like find another job. Both are these aren't easy, but it will be better than having hateful or spiteful thoughts running around in your mind.

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."
-- A very wise man

Petty tyrants often appear in our external lives in order to reflect the truth to us that we have been living by a tyrant's rule internally without realizing it. Especially if that external tyrant is one we work for or one who holds a position of authority in our external world. (Reflecting the idea that in some way we are "giving away our power" to this internal tyrant, thereby disempowering ourselves, victimizing ourselves, etc. It is often a belief held in the mind, spurred on by a hidden emotion unattended within, that is at the root of the self-abuse, reflected externally in the irritating situation.)

Could he be mirroring something lying hidden within? Often mirrors aren't exact in detail, but rather in energetic vibration.

Is there some way in which you, if you were honest with yourself, are bigoted against some faction of the population? If so, is it time to look at such a thing? What does it serve to "act against" this group in thought and feeling? My own experience has revealed that all bigotry/intolerance/prejudice stems from hidden fears.

Or could the mirror be about another potential, such as the control factor? Is it possible that your intent not to control has become a rule by which you in fact control yourself or attempt to elevate yourself with regard to others' behavior? (i.e., I choose not to control others because I feel it's better than trying to control, therefore, by not being controlling I am better than those who attempt to control)

In my own experience, when we truly grasp the value of the reflection of ourselves being mirrored by anothers' attitude/behavior, they're influence in our lives lessens or goes away completely, or simply becomes a non-issue to us because we no longer feel any kind of trigger within.

Just some ideas to ponder, perhaps.

The long term ones are always the hardest to deal with.

What to do?  Hmmm.  All the normal stuff has been mentioned.  I would go with one of those.  But, just for fun, I'll jump out on a weird thought here.

Give him the OP treatment.  Whenever he's around glaze over your eyes.  Get the thousand yard stare.  Suppress your vibrational resonance.  Nod mechanically while staring 'through' him.  Stop all thoughts or think about something very mundane (like the steps needed to change your oil).  Leave you mouth agape in the blank 'fly trap' face.  Show absolutely no humanity whatsoever.

Remove the repeating record of thoughts and emotions (concerning him) from your own mind.  Through it away.  Then promise yourself to not create one again.  Instead, play a movie in your mind of a mouse on a exercise wheel.  Or watch a Nascar race from 1000 feet overhead and wonder if they'll ever turn right.

Don't listen to me.  =P

Thanks Risen! (just kidding)

Actually, I was venting AND seeking advise, and good advise I got. I allow things to go for so long, and then need to blow off steam, rather than inflict bodily harm...

This person is very two-sided, and acts so nice to your face, yet tries to get you in trouble behind your back. What upsets me with people like him is more what he does to other people that what he does to me.

Last night I had a dream that helped considerably (God bless our Subconscious!).

My mom, sister and I were caught in a horrific storm. It must have been a category 5 tornado (told you I can get REALLY upset!). We were all huddled on a big bed while the house was being lifted up and rocked all over the place.

My sister looked at me and said, "This could go on for some time!" Well, I knew I couldn't tolerate it for much longer, and didn't want my loved ones to either, so I searched my mind for a solution. I recalled doing something I learned from reading material by Trevor James Constable, and pictured the tornado with my mind and accepted it within me.

It soon after died down, and the house hit the ground with a THUD! It rocked a little bit, such that I thought it landed on a tree, but then settled down. My sister got up to check where the house landed, and she said, "See, it's not sitting much off the original foundation, and we can use the corner over there for something else!" And sure enough, when I checked, the house was almost right on the original foundation, only a few inches off.

When I awoke I immediately knew what this was about. I embraced the person who was pissing me off in my mind/soul, and accepted him. I did the same thing with his buddy who causes just as much trouble. Everything seemed to be OK with the world after that.

Thank you all for your responses.

OK, here goes . . .

What makes this situation at work worse is that my dad and I live together. He's 79, and not in the greatest of health. I'm trying to keep him out of the hospital (he's a smoker), but I'm not always successful at it. No one else in the family can/will help out, so . . . Plus, I don't want to quit a job in a huff and leave him with all the bills.

z3n3rg's suggestion was of the most immediate help (z3n, if you and me were any more geographically closer, we'd be in trouble!).

Thanks for the compassionate words, Lee and ten. I am trying to either get a better job, or come up with one on my own (I'm past selling my body . . . darn!)

For the rest of you, well, if you don't want to think any less of me than you already do, then stop reading here . . .

You all were rather right on. I had some hidden control issues (this redneck guy is a serious control freak, a closet Nazi, if you will).This all started in gradeschool.

When I was young, I rrealized that I could "control" people's minds. It really wasn't control, per se, but more of a "successful suggestion". It freaked me out the first time I tried it, and succeeded. But then it became more utilized during periods of "self preservation" . . . "if you can manipulate people into liking you, or even agreeing with you, then you are less likely to get hurt" . . . (disgusted yet?)

Well, a lot of these not so positive "talents" are coming to surface, thanks to you guys. You have been helping me textually (it'll be a word soon...) and etherically. I'm becoming more courageous (with your help) so that I can face people without trying to manipulate the situation.

Because of my intelligence (all modesty aside), people over the years have treated me like a "monster", with fear and trepidation. Kids would say, once they found out that I was smart, that they couldn't be my friend because I was "too smart". Hmmmmmm...

Then life would throw me curves so that success would be nearly perpetually fleeting. I'm finding out why . . .

What's more important, being successful and making lots of money, or working on your soul? Life has a way of finding out what your priorities are . . .

Thank you all again. I have met the monster . . . and it is I!

(If I find any of you all with flaming torches on my front porch tonight, you definitely won't be getting any beer!)