Hi khizkeeyaw, you are not alone. Over the years I have heard from numerous individuals who were in similar situations to what you described. I myself got involved in that strange theme of experiences when I first started investigating the matrix phenomenon. What I learned was that the stability of my thoughts and feelings had a stabilizing influence on my external reality. In other words, the more I became preoccupied with fearful and paranoid thoughts, the more things manifested to scare me and make me suspicious.
When learning about how strange reality can be, there is a definite risk of entering into a mind-reality feedback loop that, if left unchecked, can push one into a downward spiral that ends in paranoid schizophrenia. Once you are game, once you show you are easily toyed with, all sorts of predatory forces jump at the chance to torment you into insanity.
How can you get out of this vicious cycle? The simplest way is to acknowledge the weird stuff without getting frightened or obsessed over it. What matters most is your mental and emotional stability. That includes being able to observe your own reactions or impulses and not acting on them if you know they are self-destructive or steeped in negative emotions. It also requires striving to see the positive side and beauty in even the simplest things, and keeping your attitude closer towards the humorous, fun, amused, joyful, enthusiastic, and assertive.
By switching your attitude and mindset towards the more aware and positive, you repel the tormentors and attract positive reinforcements. By turning yourself around inside, you can help turn things around outside. That's a start, at least.
Physically, improve the nutrition of your diet so that you have more clarity and energy to tackle the rest. Another thing that helps is countermeasures against entity attachments (nonphysical beings or energy constructs sharing your body and influencing your thoughts and emotions while sapping your energy). Check out the works of Robert Bruce regarding psychic self-defense and handling entity attachments. Also peruse some threads here on Noble Realms about that topic.
Well, this post isn't complete by any means, but I just wanted to emphasize that aside from the external causes like diet, alien implants, black magic, government mind control beams, or whatever, the thing that matters most is whether you own your mind and emotions or whether you allow them to be manipulated. By striving to be more aware yet calmly positive you can change the radio dial to a more pleasing station.
I myself have come under some pretty tough psychic attacks these past several years and had to resort to lifelines, transmutation of negative emotions into positive through willpower, and emergency methods like food, smokes, and chocolate to keep myself from drowning. Over time I have established my strength to the point where these attacks - which used to come through bouts of depression and doom - no longer happen. So whatever vortex you are currently caught in, have faith that you can get out, and strive inch by inch towards self-empowerment and happiness.
Acquiring fringe knowledge is like digging for diamonds in a mine field.
