The most fascinating website I know... (Page 1 of 2)

I'm pretty sure it's just a bunch of 17 year olds with way too much time on their hands.

I looked at about 5 or 6 posts and there was only one word that came to mind - Juvenile.

You're having a laugh ... right?

Darkened and very clever people, though--I still think there is much to glean from it.  "Them" is "Us," if we don't wake up, I mean REALLY wake up, NOW.  ...I guess this post speaks to where I happen to be right now, but maybe it can help wake up some other warriors out there.

(I guess this post should go in the "Spiritual" section, but how can we continue to call these realms separate??)   

...I think we continue to absolutely overlook how interwoven this "force" is within our own consciousness--and therefore hidden from our conscious recognition. We have moments of intense recognition, for example the first time we read Icke and had that awakened feeling... but then it fades -- why?  Because it has us by the throat and we don't even know it.

I can, in a way, fit Ayahuasca's comment of it seeming "juvenile"  into the huge blind spot I've had about myself for a long while.  ...I'd been utilizing info at an alcohol recovery site (rational.org) to deal with--instead of addiction to a substance--what I perceive as a huge ego problem of mine.  Really giving me a lot of useful insight.  It labels the "reptilian" lower brain--the 'pleasure center'--as "the Beast," and hammers you with just how deceptive this part of you can be, how subtle, cunning, and able to utilize your own personality, your own intelligence, your best traits to take advantage of your character weaknesses and keep you from doing what you know is in your best interest in life; what your higher--NEO-cortex--brain knows is best.

Not a particularly revolutionary idea--many descriptions like this around, including stuff I read at Montalk site--but that's just it--we are looking for some new "answer" to the outer "reptilian" mystery, and we can't see it, because the "reptile" is looking out from behind our own eyes and doesn't want us to see it.  In addiction terms, it wants to keep drugging itself and getting high through us. Master the "reptile" within and the "outside" will take care of itself! 

...How are you fooling yourself in your life now?  Where are you making excuses in any way, shape or form for not making the life for yourself that you absolutely know you are capable of?  I've had all sorts of great inner meditation/contemplation over the years, wonderful "spiritual" insights into my own/humanknd's capabilities, but why haven't I yet manifest it?

When you are finally willing to be "present" in this physical dimension, having done all the compassionate background work on yourself, then perhaps you are now able to have an objective look at yourself:  Where in your life are you full of sh*t and have so slowly subtly slipped into a life of excuses instead of fulfilling your higher nature?   Fiddling around on the computer instead of fulfilling your goals?  What about even behaving/speaking in ways that you later regret?  Don't you want to have control of your life? ...It has been keeping me a "juvenile" for way too long.  My initial weakness, my ego perhaps, has been it's feast. 

If any of this is true for you, then your Beast has you by the throat. 

...Just as the outer "reptilians" need us in order to even exist and have agency here, the beast brain has no agency of it's own.  This inner Beast is destined to be tamed by you.  The higher brain is "you."  The lower "beast" brain has been twisting your thinking into making you think "it" is "you;" when it is really destined to be controlled by you.  ...We have so sloooowly slipped into this complacency!  I can't stress it strongly enough, how subtle and powerful this part of us is.  ...There is no substitute for doing the hard inner work, seeing the hard truth within, and recognizing what a rich experience of life you are missing out on each day you let it continue.

I don't care if you think you are "evolved" spiritually, have had myriad so-called past-lives on this earth as I do, have come from the "6th dimension," or if you think you've frickin' walked hand-in-hand with Christ/Buddha/Krishna himself.  If we have not yet begun to manifest in the outer world our higher "Christ consciousness," or whatever wonderful higher senses of possibility we have, which I know each of us gets to see glimmers of, then we are still under the spell of the Beast.  I believe that there is no half-way to be had here, no ifs ands or buts if we are to have victory here.  The Beast has kept us ALL imprisoned for so so long--DON'T DOUBT IT'S POWER TO CONFOUND US.   

To paraphrase the words of Swami Sri Yukteswar (Yogananda's guru): Man's behavior is ever unreliable until firmly grounded in the Divine.  And to quote the movie, Shawshank Redemption,, you have to either GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING.   To try to exist between the two--that is the purgatory we've been subjecting ourselves to for eons.

...Yes, just as I said--it's my huge ego that I'm grappling with!    ...Dear Summer,  'Darkened and clever people' was referring to the other website, so the fact that that hooked you kind of makes my point.  I just edited that sentence slightly, so perhaps it is clearer now--thanks. 

...I think I realize, as I said, that I'm in the midst of a real inner wakeup/shakeup, and was presenting a way of looking at things that may be useful for others who are stuck in a lot of self-absorbed, "reptilian-ness."  ...It really is a battle, my dear.

blueviolet,

Good show.  Realization of something you wish to change is the first step.  I firmly hold to the idea that no information should be discarded.  Show me your lies, deceit, evil, vileness, wickedness, laziness, internal dishonesty, hatred, fear, and the ego way of thinking.  And I'll show you the joy that can be found by seeing that our soul has the capability of the darkest evil and the brightest light.  We are both opposing poles and we are above them.  You can not get rid of something.  The more you push it away the more it will sneak up behind you.  Embrace it all but with the intent to grow from the experience.  The most spiritually advanced soul still has the capability of the worst evil imaginable.  It's just a matter of choice.

The ego is not some other entity.  It is simply, the STS way of thinking.  Thinking can be changed.  But you already know all this.

I've spent years working on changing my ego way of thinking.  It's not completely gone but I'm close.

Do you want to know how I'm doing it?

That's really what I'm here for.  To give to others what has been given freely to me.

If you want some of the real-world things I do to change this ego habit let me know.

I'll quote myself from another thread to provide a foundation.  It will be easier for me to remember things and may help bring clarity for others reading this.

First thing I had to do was get tired of it.  I had to get completely fed up with myself and the way I was thinking.  I needed to see that there was an issue and I was the only one that was going to be able to do anything about it.  No psychologist, teacher, god or external authority.  It was me.  I was treated as less than adequate as a child.  I was treated as a possession by those that turned right around and said they loved me.  It confused me to no end and created rage at a very early age.  The spiritual attacks were from church and the people there.  More "less than adequate" programming.  Being forced to go down to the altar and pray for forgiveness of sins.  Sins?  I was like 7 years old.  I didn't dare buck at it or else I'd get 4 hours of yelling when I got home.  It didn't matter.  I got yelled at for 4 hours anyway.  There was no escape.  My sins amounted to not cleaning the house up to expectations.  From the earliest conscious thoughts I was in an emotionally apprehensive state.  I didn't understand.

This victim mentality needed to end (jump to age 20).  I started going back over my life.

I went about identifing the things that caused the anger and other negative emotions.  I went about it in a cold calulated manner.  Two examples follow.

1.  This situation caused anger.  The anger caused these thoughts.  Those thoughts would trigger additional related thoughts that would keep the loop of anger going until I was living in those thoughts.

2.  I felt inadequate.  This particular situation caused feelings of inadequacy.  The feeling caused thoughts that delved into self-pity.  Those thoughts triggered other thoughts of situations that caused those feelings.  I was living in past situations that fed these feelings.  I would go over and over in my mind of what I should've said or done.  I would create senario after senario to make myself feel better.  The movie projector would go non-stop with me saying or doing the "right thing" to gain acceptance by others.

The above two paragraphs are me identifying and forming 'thought units' of the complete issue for each emotion and STL that I wanted to end.  The ego hates one thing above all else.  Honesty with self.  The ego cannot survive when one is honest with themselves.  This identification and categorization was my first attempts at being honest with myself. 

(Note:  Going back through from this point and changing "STL" to "program" for easier reading.  Just go back up to the bold statement at top and place that concept behind the word "program" in the rest of this.)

(I will use the "anger program" as an example throughout but there are many others as well.  That was just a predominant one for me personally.)

I still lived in these emotions and programs for several years after starting the work on myself.  The difference was that each night I would go over what happened that day and put the appropriate emotions and programs into their 'thought unit' categories.  I would examine them and start to work on finding their root.

Finding the root was time consuming.  I went back through the years, one by one, and placed all the experiences into their appropriate categories.  I would do this after going over the day that just ended.  I continued until I started gaining epiphanies on the origin of these programs.

By creating these 'thought units' I was able to see my reactions from an outside perspective.  I was able to put them in a box to be examined.  These 'thought units' became my first mental tool for ridding myself of the ego way of thinking.

Slowly, they started losing their control over my mind.  Little spurts of awareness would show up throughout the day reminding me of the overall picture I was putting together.  I would, of course, slip back under their influence.  The "predator's mind" hated the honesty.  It hated the light I was shining on it.  Things would trigger in the external world to get me back running the anger program.  But I wasn't about to give up.  "Resolve" would be my next weapon.

Catching these glimpses of awareness gave me an idea.  I created my next mental tool.  The "alarm clock" as I call it.  I set my alarm to go off when I slipped into any negative emotion.  When the alarm went off I set my mind to bring back to the surface the related thought unit.  I would then jump into the moment and examine the thoughts occuring and feel the emotion completely.  I no longer added to my thought units at the end of the day.  I was doing it in real-time.  The ego's days were numbered.

My arsenal was building...
1.  Honesty with Self
2.  Thought Units
3.  Resolve
4.  Negative Emotion triggered "Alarm Clock"

Now that I was gaining some real-time awareness I needed to go back to examine the roots.  I needed to find out if these programs were still necessary.  If not, then I needed to analyze myself, my situations, and such at the time of the formation of the roots.

Epiphanies followed.  I was treated as less than adequate because those people felt less than adequate.  I was forced to go down to the altar and ask forgiveness because they felt guilty themselves.  I was the brunt of their deep-seeded emotional issues that they never were honest with themselves about.  They projected onto me the very things that they were hiding from others.  I was treated as a possession because that's how they were treated.  They were doing to me what had been done to them.  They were projecting all their anger and negative emotions towards me because I had no defense.  I was the child.  They were superior.  They never felt that superiority before.  I could be blamed for everything they were guilty of.  As a child I accepted it.  I didn't understand.  But as an adult I then knew better.  It wasn't me at all.  I wasn't responsible.  I wasn't inadequate.  I wasn't guilty.  And I wasn't their possession.

Initially, these epiphanies led to more anger.  More feelings of being the victim.  That didn't last long though.  I had already opened the gate wide.  I was gaining deeper understanding.  I understood the victim part of the ego equation.  It was time to understand the aggressor part.  I used my tools to look past the agressors (the feeders, the predators, the psychopaths).  To look at their roots.  To walk in their shoes (without actually involving others of course).  I became both so that I could understand.  As the understanding grew, my forgiveness grew.  As my forgiveness grew, my anger diminished.  As the anger diminished, the other negative emotions disappeared.  As the negative emotions disappeared, the victim mentality fell away.  As the victim mentality fell away, so did the ego.

Great postings!  ...I feel that it is the level of true intent that is at this site that is allowing me to articulate all this.  ...Everyone here is of good heart, and earnestly working on themselves.

Imhotep: yes, I absolutely am aware that my soul has been part of the Judeo/Christian drama for a long time, to a much greater degree in other 'lifetimes' I feel, and just faint shadows of its influence in my upbringing this time. …So perhaps much of my modus operandi for emerging from the delusions of this plane reflects that.  Some souls are here to learn in dramatic fashion!  ...Yes, practicing appreciation is a great practice that I do try to incorporate.  Those moments of joy are what keep me going, knowing that we absolutely deserve happiness.

Regarding the notion of equating 'feeling good' with 'evil'…I certainly believe we are here to enjoy our physicality, but eventually, ultimately, I believe it IS about mastery. …It’s hard to explain, but this dark force has twisted this to such a degree within us that we have a hard time discerning what is truly healthy behavior.  …This phenomenon I’m talking about is not about flaying oneself with a switch, because you’re  'bad' for wanting to have sex, but it DOES prey on what I think are those unresolved fears and doubts about ourselves we may still have, that seem like the small child in us–like what z3n3rg is speaking of--our desire to be liked, etc., to be taken care of, our guilt–in order to make us feel badly about ourselves for doing certain things, and it may be this force indeed taking over.  It has been with us for so long that we think 'IT' is us, and we let it make us feel like sh*t. 

...Like z3n3rg, I also later realized how much anger I had managed to carry around through life, though I was always good at been a 'good girl,' and not bothering the adults with my troubles.  There is a particular photo of me--age 3, and my brother--age 2. We are smiling, I love my brother--but he has scabs on his face, where I had clawed him recently.   ...Guys, this kind of stuff isn't normal, and you don't have to beat yourself up about it anymore.

I want to share this: 

After making my long post above, I had begun to have all kinds of doubts about myself–What was THAT all about?  I really am a whacked-out fat-head.  …Yesterday I was experiencing such depression, feeling so isolated and hopeless and badly about myself.  This was, in a sense, not an unfamiliar feeling for me, for much of my years.  I went online, looking for something to read, to regain some peace, perhaps. 

I started reading the Karla Turner site for the first time:  http://www.karlaturner.org and the articles by James Bartley there.  He is someone who does view the reptilian phenomenon as very real, and of utmost importance for us to focus on; that it IS a battle, it IS spiritual warfare.  As soon as I started reading his pages, a relieving calm came over me.  My muscles relaxed, my mind’s anxiety dropped away, my doubts about myself were gone.  You could say that something departed from me.  The feeling was so profound that I started crying.  …It really felt as if a 'part' of me had left.  I was crying for the feeling of loss of this familiar part of me; and also for the blessed calm I felt.  There was no dark cloud coming out of me, no spectre of any being–just an immediate new state of emptiness within.  …I even had the sense that I would from then on be able to physically see this 'reptilian' or whatever, physically, now that I was clear that IT WAS NOT A PART OF ME.

…I awoke full of energy at 6:30 am today, Saturday, excited to share it here.

I’m sure some could twist this phenomenon somehow into modern psychobabble, some can dismiss it in other ways–but folks, I’m telling you, maybe that’s the Beast within talking to you.

To Summer, or anyone else who feels discomfort regarding the reptile agenda site, I recommend you read James Bartley’s pages at the Karla Turner site.  I’ve only read a bit, but it helped me feel very validated.  Part of yourself may want to dismiss him as a loony Don Quixote–but I’m going to assert that that’s the Beast within influencing you. Here is a bit:

…You may not have these dramatic experiences that he recounts, but keep your mind, or especially your heart open to recognition about your own issue.  …If you are struggling and/or depressed and suffering, don’t quit standing up for your right to happiness!!

For me, I really have a feeling that this "force" has been with me a long time, across 'lifetimes' perhaps, and for that reason it has been such a long journey in this lifetime to distinquish 'it' from me.  ...It really feels, as I said above, that 'part of me' has departed.

…Yes, it is about overcoming our inner victim mentality.  Sounds like we are all ultimately on the same page, here–pun intended  

Yes, that is the ultimate goal:  to
'embrace everything,' the more you resist something, the more it persists; that ultimately experience is neutral; duality is gone, etc.  I think I  have been subject to incredible opportunities to see my being as part of the ultimate light, and as well fathom what it is like to be consumed by ignorant darkness.  …As I rambled on about in a few other posts somewhere, I have recognized the psychopath within, etc.   Yes, when I think we are able to get to the point of having compassion for all parts of us, have a true 'honesty with self,' then perhaps we are given the opportunity to 'let the demon depart.'   

The 'demons' are, ultimately of course, incredible teachers for us. Just be careful to realize that understanding the transcending concept intellectually is one thing–but that as long as we are in physical form on this planet we are a part of the duality.  Yes, the ego is a necessary part of our physical existence here--but its mastery is essential.  It is a slippery slope.  'Jesus' was fighting 'Satan' till his last days, and perhaps beyond.  We will continue to be tempered in the fire. 

For me, I’m sensing that once one starts to successfully keep the demons out, one can start to help others, as z3n3rg is expressing above.  Thanks, everybody, for making this such a great thread.  I really feel renewed.