Topic: Who's gonna drive you home tonight?
The following piece contains a few different ideas and events which came together for me in odd ways over the past few weeks. I think it all needs to go together as a single narrative in its own thread, so here goes.
March 12 2006
A few weeks ago, I re-read an article called "Allegory of the Alien" which puts forth the idea that there is a secret alien war going on in our midst, and about which humans are being kept in the dark so as to preserve human free will. Each side in this war, therefore, is allegedly working hard to prejudice the decisions individual humans beings make, so as to induce the humans to -- of their own free will -- "lose their soul" (freedom of choice) and become beholden to that alien group.
In the context of this article, I was contemplating the idea that if someone were indeed able to lose their soul, one possible scenario by which this would take place could be that the "divine spark" of the person would be snuffed out, leaving the body as a mere container. Insofar as this might happen as a result of a person's own choices, it would constitute a spiritual form of suicide.
Not too long after re-reading that, I was discussing with an acquaintance this question of whether or not it is possible for a person to "sell their soul," especially in the context of associating with certain establishment organizations, secret societies, or masonic orders. My own reading and experience both tell me that members of these sorts of groups seem a lot more likely that the average person to exhibit signs of being "empty vessels," organic-portal-like, or maybe even possessed. Therefore the question seemed relevant to me as to whether these people were OP-types to begin with, or if they had lost their souls somewhere along the way.
After the conversation moved on to other subjects, the person with whom I was speaking proceeded to begin telling me about some of their personal problems, saying that their situation made them think of the M*A*S*H theme song, the following lines from which, among others, they immediately proceeded to sing out loud:
'Cause suicide is painless /it brings on many changes /
and I can take or leave it if I please. /
...and you can do the same thing if you please.
I hadn't mentioned my specific idea of "spiritual suicide" to this fellow, and I found the fact that he actually started singing a song about it, right then, to be odd in the extreme. A few other circumstances surrounding this incident also convinced me that this was serious high-strangeness.
That was a few weeks ago. Fast forward to two days ago:
I was listening to some old 80s songs that I like on the computer. One of them was "Drive" by The Cars.
The next (yesterday) morning, I awoke from a dream in which I was at someone's home and they were playing some music on the stereo for me. After the first song, they swapped out the CD and put in a different one. I sat down on the couch to listen, and noticed a younger family member of mine was there too, but fast asleep on a couch. The song which came on was "Drive," and I said "oh, I like this song." At the end of the song, however, after the music had faded out, an extra verse which I had never heard before suddenly came on. I remember thinking it must be an extended version of the song, as often appear on some rock albums. The extra lyrics were especially interesting ... but my memory of them faded quickly as I woke up. Therefore, I may not have the exact words -- or all the lines -- correct, but the key elements are intact:
There are many who would like to die /
but are forced to live /
in order that to others /
the best chances we can give. /
<possible lines missing>
... who's gonna drive you home tonight?
Then I woke up. The meaning of this dream, obvious to me immediately, related to the idea that some souls are forced to be here on Earth, for the purpose of being way-showers, angels, spiritual beacons, examples who "live their light." In the metaphor of this dream, the ones who help to "drive" other souls back "home" (to the wholeness of the Source a.k.a. God). My relative who was sleeping on the couch in the dream was indeed someone for whom I feel a strrong sense of responsibility in waking reality ... and who I am concerned is still too "asleep" in the world.
That same afternoon, I was out eating lunch and "Drive" came on the restaurant sound system. It occured to me that it's not a particularly rare song, but it's not an especially common one to hear nowadays either. Then today, I started going through some music video files which I have been downloading for the past few days. One of these was an acoustic set by The Scorpions. As I skipped around through the video, I found that during the encore ... sure enough ... they played an acoustic cover of "Drive." Oi!
There's a danger in reveling or obsessing over something that offers you no additional knowledge with further energy expended. On a large scale, this manifests as the entertaining class of Fortean phenomena, things that always make you go "oo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" but never "aha!" Works only to make believers out of skeptics, but once you believe, do you move on or get stuck seeking the same old thrill again and again?
I have been wondering about this myself in the context of my own ongoing weirdness. I'm finding that the more hard questions I try to answer, and the deeper I dig, the more "stuff" starts happening. And regardless of all these manifestations, which I've been having for quite awhile now, I often find myself no closer to finding the answers to the key questions on my mind. That continues to be a source of frustration, but it also reminds me of an exchange from the film The Mothman Prophecies, which has kept coming to my mind on and off for many months:
Old Researcher: I turned away [from researching the paranormal] years ago... and I've never looked back.
Protagonist: Didn't you need to know?
Old Researcher: We're not allowed to know.
A perfect example of this is that even right now, the ENTIRE time I have been working on posting this message, my left ear has been clicking away every couple of minutes.
But it doesn't serve any positive purpose that I can discern, other than to confirm that the subject matter at hand is of interest to "them." But I'd figured that much out a long time ago. Left-ear for me = negative monitoring. Yawn. I don't adjust my behavior when it happens, I don't get emotional in any way, but it's almost always there when I'm focusing on these subjects. The prison guard analogy does seem very appropriate. It's as if the guards have been watching you for a long time, and they KNOW you're not planning to escape tonight -- but they're watching you closely anyway. THAT'S their job, and THAT'S the routine, so get used to it.
OK, I'll stop before I get too depressing. ![]()