Having children (Page 2 of 2)

Great discussion. Thanks to everyone for contributing to this thought-provoking thread.

I find that the issue of having kids of not having kids is one of the great "taboos" within the healing/metaphysical community.  Nobody likes to talk about it. And rarely are people honest about their real views on the subject, for fear of other people judging them and going into a "I'm more enlightened than you on this subject" stance. That's the attitude I've found whenever this subject gets raised, and it sure doesn't help anyone explore the issue.  So it's nice that people can express their views here. That said, I'm going to put my own views out there.

Keep in mind that this is simply my truth, and it may or not resonate with you, and I respect all views on the subject. I don't mean any disrespect to parents or people who are thinking about becoming parents, because they perform such an important and sacred duty. So none of what I am about to write is intended as a "slam." Please know that.

I'm childfree by choice and always will be.  Should I get pregnant via "oops," I know the herbs to take that will bring on my period. This information was a part of women's education for centuries until the Church finally intimidated many women into silence during the "witch burning" of the Middle Ages and afterwards.  Since then, women have helped maintain the conspiracy of silence by not sharing this information with their fellow women. Poo on them, I say.  Subjecting each other to lifetimes of having 10-12 children all because nobody would talk about this stuff and assert their right to have sovereignty over their reproductive systems. My grandparents came from families of 10- 12 children each. The burden on those families and on those women, physically, emotionally, financially, is simply unbelievable. And inexcusable, if you ask me.

The millions of women who were killed off in the Middle of Ages were the herbalists, midwives, and domestic mystics who knew how to invoke spiritual energy for healing, for medicine, for childbirth, and for contraception.  Very sad that that wisdom had to go underground to the point that it barely exists anymore.

Contraceptive herbs have always existed. Sylvestre was culled to the point of extinction during the Roman era because it was used as a contraceptive. Recently studies have proven that the herb chastetree reduces a man's sperm count, just as the American Indians have always claimed; and it also brings on a woman's period.  There are many herbs still available today that do the trick. Hint: go into a health food store and look for the herbs that are "contra-indicated for pregnancy" --  meaning, don't take them while pregnant because they will induce a miscarriage.  None should be taken in large amounts because they can be poisonous, but in small amounts they will bring on your period.  Disclaimer: I'm not attempting to give medical advice here, so be sure to research this on your own. Email me privately if you wish more info:  newagetalk (at) comcast.net. Additional note: Never take pennyroyal internally; there is some conflicting information on this but please know that that one is very toxic to the body.

So the truth of the matter is, between herbal contraception and also communicating directly with spirits of the unborn, we do have the ability to determine whether or not we will bring a child into this world. There's no real need for a "oops."

Many metaphysical types like to say, well, if you have a soul contract already in place to bring in a child to this world, you have to fulfill it....or you won't be fulfilling your karma or whatever.

Not true. At this point in humanity's evolution we all each pre-inserted, automatically, with a contract to bring two children in.  This is outworn, outmoded programming that was originally brought in at a time when the population was much smaller and if people didn't procreate, because of the prevalence of disease and war, humanity might die out.  So spiritually, en masse, humanity took on the agreement to each bring in a  minimum of two souls as their children....or to at least attempt to do so. 

Remember, at the time that the Bible was written, the entire WORLD population was roughly equivalent to the current population of the state of New Jersey.

Since then, we've moved on to have some 7 billion folks here.

No longer do we need to maintain these contracts to automatically bring in two children each. We're not on the Ark. We don't carry the burden of humanity's continual survival.

That's why I respectfully disagree with Lyra's statement here:

(I realize I may be taking this out of context, Lyra, but I think it raises an interesting point and you raise a point of view that many people share.)

I believe that for many people, having kids is the ONLY way that they will ever tap into their powers as creators. But what we're really here for, is to come into our power as spiritually sovereign co-creators with God/Goddess/Great Spirit/Creator. 

Having kids is ONE way to tap into this energy. For many, it will be the only real opportunity for them to do this in their current lifetime.

But there are many, many other journeys available to us. The arts. Healing. Learning how to affect reality shifts and do power prayer. All of these also involve this same creationary energy and are other ways to express this urge.

You can talk to the souls of the kids you have soul contracts with and work shamanically to make other arrangements with those souls.  Just talk to them.  From a place of love. They will work with angels to make other arrangements to come into different bodies, no problem.  And sometimes they won't even incarante, they'll decide to hang out as spiritual guides or they'll go somewhere else on the timeline to pursue a different arrangement - possibly with you or with some aspect of you, or with somebody else. 

We have to remember that all contracts can be changed.  Usually, they were made from a place of less enlightenment than where we are now. So sometimes they really SHOULD be changed. You may have outgrown the need for the contract.

For instance, you may have an arrangement that you put in place before this lifetime to meet a romantic soulmate who is going to abuse you one day, so you can deal with some of your own karma.

But what if you clear out that karma on your own years ahead of time and no longer need to have that experience with that romantic partner? You should end that soul contract to prevent being with that person. 

These agreements are constantly flowing and evolving in the moment and are subject to change. you need only focus on everything coming together for the highest good of all, in a state of sincere loving kindness, and the Universe will create the perfect flow.

Here's a good invocation you can work with to make sure that any soul contracts you have in place right now are serving your highest good:

"I expel, cancel, and revoke all spiritual contracts that are not in alignment with my highest spiritual path, my spiritual purpose, and my spiritual immortality. I end all contracts that are not in alignment with the highest good."

Then, see what surfaces. You'll often feel some stuff shift around and may become aware of some crusty, outmoded contracts - especially surrounding relationships - that are now being transmuted into a higher, healthier form.

As a side effect, sometimes certain friends, associates, or family members may "disappear" from your life, while happier, lighter folks appear very suddenly out of the blue. This is a sign that you are shifting those contracts around and the effects are materializing on the physical plane.

To bring children into this world, by the way, creates tons of new karma.  I'm into travelling light, myself, because I'm not at all certain that I"ll be returning here.  That's not to say that I think I'm better than anyone or more evolved, because I don't think that at all.  But I am very aware that there are other realities, other places of a less dense vibration, that my energies are more in synch with. And by breeding and falling into the old human fallback position of creating layers and layers of karma on TOP of whatever karma I already need to work on, well, it's just not for me. 

Some of the children I have ended contracts with have come into my life in other ways, through other parents, which has still allowed me to having loving, productive bonds with these individual souls. So that's another neat and marvelous way that soul contracts can be shifted and altered and still be miraculous in a quasi-parenting way. It's like revising the entire framework of those old agreements and transmuting them into a higher, happier, more workable form for the benefit of all.  Doesn't mean there's any end to the love bond, as that always continues and is eternal.

Basically, my entire philosophy comes down to this:

It's not my job to make more people.

My job is to make people better.

And so I devote my focus to the healing path, and I hope in some small way to lighten the energies here for the benefit of the many wonderful spirits who are still choosing to incarnate here....babies and indigo spirits included, but parents and other adults as well.  Not to the mention the plant and animal kingdom and the Earth herself, who need massive amounts of healing right now.

Some days, I feel like I'm getting there, having some effect.

Most days, it feels like I still have a long, long way to go. But it's a wonderful process to be a part of, and I'm grateful for every moment of it.

Anyway, thanks for entertaining this rant!

Lipstick Mystic aka Jennifer

______
"He has no children, because every time he felt the paternal urges wash over him, he would lie down in a dark room with a cold flannel over his face until the feelings went away."

---Alex Gordon, http://www.ninedeadlyvenoms.com, author of Nine Deadly Venoms and shamanic healer from the UK -- check out his stuff, it's great!

Above all, to thine ownself be true. 

Everytime I have gone against my intuition or instinct, it's been wrong for me.

Wow! Some thoughts that I've not considered before!

Lyra, yes I don't have any abduction experience/memory but some parts of what you wrote ex-act-ly reflects what's in my mind. I've always seen having children as some kind of a interference that will "get in the way". But I think opposite about the programming of society. I've always seen the urge to have children and seeing this as a "biological urge" which I accept as a big lie, is a kind of programming.

And freeme, yes I think I have to consider past-life influences too. Because I felt this negativity against having children even from my childhood. And this has nothing to do with my family, which is a normal one. My parents were always loving and supportive.

I totally agree with tenetnoscoe on saying "I do feel that it is important to give proper attention to my own growth before I embark upon taking responsibility for another's". That's great statement. But you know tenet, this growth has no end/no limit!! So I think we come back to the same point written in various posts above; giving proper attention to one's own growth needs having children for some (learning to be a good sto) and exactly not having for some. As Lipstick wrote - which I definitely liked a lot- "It's not my job to make more people. My job is to make people better." This is great. Thanks for your fascinating post Lipstick. It really resonated well with me.

Having said this... Montalk's post mixed everything.

"Having kids is probably more a matter of mutual destiny and karma with a loved one than personal choice. If it happens, it happens.. " part is what I'm talking about.

C'mon Tom, I was just thinking I'm beginning to solve that looong problem in my mind, but you've taken all the power away again Seriously, this is very important thing you've wrote. Well, it's not my conscious choice to have one but I know that if a soul has chosen me as a mediator for coming to 3D, probably nothing I can do may prevent it.

Then comes some different things to my mind. At this last 10-15 years test-tube babies raised enormously. We know that men's sperm quality decreases and more and more people becomes infertile. Lots of people are going to test-tube baby centers trying to have children. Enter cospiracy. Why is that? What's the hyperdimensional plan for this? I have a lot of things in my mind for these but they are subject for another thread. Man, this gets coplicated..

Great discussion indeed!

I agree with the ones that encourage you and your Mrs. to step aside alone and figure it out for yourselves. It is the "hive mentality" poking you. To decide to have kids doesn't mean you agree or are giving into the hive way IF you decide for yourself AND for your own reasons.

I am one that would have kids over again and hopefully I'd get the same kids:) My eyes were already "open" so to speak before I had kids and between marriage and having kids I have learned more of myself (been force to look into the mirror) than by all other means combined or individually!

I think the "breakdown" of the family unit as merely showing the "hive conditioning" and how immature/thoughtless people are getting by entering into anything so half heartedly and with failure already figured(expected) into the plan.

I did not have any special qualifications to have children and I have not earned any special qualifications. The one thing I did/do have is the desire to be the one to teach my kids about life. If I am to teach them I have to experience it.

Anyways say you decide to have kids, don't think the matrix can't find other ways to try to goad you too! I have three healthy girls. We were constantly asked by people if our first one was sick!!! After my third girl I was frequently asked ....Why?....what do you mean why?....Why do you have no boys?.... my response became " well only those truly secure in their masculinity get blessed with all girls....stopped the questions real quick:)

Much like the decision to get married was between the two of you, so is this decision.

Wow, a very hot topic obviously -- 23 replies in just one day!

I admit I havent read every post, but I skimmed pretty thoroughly.  But forgive me if I say what's already been said:

Children have been an ongoing debate in my mind for a long, long time now.  I think I do not want children.  But my reasons probably differ from most people.  It has less to do with me, and more to do with the child.  More specifically, I myself am very unhappy with the state of the world.  I'm pretty disappointed that I had to live at this time, in such a nasty place.

And with loving kids as I do, I don't think I could stand to bring a child into this world.  Not now, not the way it is now, not without seeing an improved world beforehand.  I couldn't stand knowing I could be bringing someone into a life of possibly worse circumstances than I've had to endure myself.

Is my stance on this nuts, or is there at least a bit of validity to it? lol

Absolutely, Tenetnosce, communicating with the soul is the preferred way of changing a birth contract with a spirit who is intending to come in as a child.  I don't think I expressed this well in my prior post.  I support doing lots of shamanic work and communication/negotiation with the soul and your guides and angelic helpers before resorting to taking any herbs that might cause miscarriage.  All of it needs to be done from a deeply aware, loving place.

But the herbs ARE available should a woman decide that she wants to remain childfree. 

I know three women who communicated with the soul of their child and renegotiated the contract.

Case in point - the two single women living at poverty level, just scraping by, with no family members to turn to or help them out, without any "fallback" position with their respective pregnancies....and without men in their lives who were sticking around to play the role of father in ANY way, spiritually, emotionally, physically, or financially. (One guy was a bohemian artist type who had immediately gone overseas and broken up with the woman after their fling, so he wasn't going to be in her life again. The other was an abusive boyfriend the woman had FINALLY been strong enough to kick out of her life, the type a woman shouldn't keep around.)

These women would have been in major dire straits should they have had to continue the pregnancy. No support, no money, no job, etc.  Each woman was headed for the abortion clinic but agonizing about doing it that way. They turned to many spiritual means  - prayer, tuning into the spirits of the baby, etc.  to see if they could make another choice and if that would be okay for the spirit. 

One woman had a miscarriage as she got in the cab to go to the clinic.

Another had her miscarriage at home.  Both women felt a loving, angelic presence as the cord between them and the babies were "cut," by mutual agreement between souls, not through the intervention of a doctor at the clinic. 

Another woman was pregnant with twins in a new marriage with precarious financial support beneath them.  While she was joyful about having a child and her relationship with her husband was great, the thought of twins absolutely overwhelmed her. Deep down, she just knew she wasn't going to be able to handle the double responsibility.  She was very sad, did tons of prayer and soul-searching, and in the end, left it the matter in God's hands.

A few weeks later she miscarried one twin.  Felt the same angelic sense that all was okay, and this was meant to happen.  Later she delivered one happy, healthy baby, and her family was balanced and able to work towards saving more money before attempting to have a second child.

I hear these stories from women all over the world, heard many of them back when I was in private practice.

So it is very true that prayer and communication with the spirit of the unborn, if done sincerely and loving, can sometimes result in the child withdrawing its energy....sometimes permanently, or sometimes to come back to that mother in the future when the timing is better for the mum.  And sometimes the soul will be born to a friend of the mother. I know one woman who had an abortion, and she was in agony about it, but she also somehow knew it was okay. The spirit of the child was later born to a friend of hers, and due to things that were going on in her life, she had the opportunity to essentially become this child's aunt.  So they could still work out karma in a familial way.

I find it all so interesting, the many ways we come here, the many contracts that are constantly changing, and how we are all evolving.

LipstickMystic