16 Reply by Auendove (edited by Auendove 2005-08-22 18:26:21)

  • From: terra incognita
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Shadow Self Integration

Very interesting dreamosis...

I saw this last week--

dreamosis wrote:

I met a Navajo man about seven years ago.  He was a self-proclaimed Spirit-Catcher who taught me much and also frustrated the crap out of me. 

He would tell me about his dreams of me.  He said in the Dreamworld there were two me, the earlier me being a split -off of me from a young age who was rude, crude, and he said, much more interesting than me.  He said the shadow me called himself "Smitty."  When he first told me about it I had chills like none other.

--and almost commented on it, the bolded words, and then thought better. I decided to sit on it. It is even more very interesting now.

dreamosis, what I sat on was this question--Did you know that a blacksmith is also known as a "Smitty"? It's like their trade nickname.

big_smile... and then you write this--

dreamosis wrote:

Anyway, last night I set my intention to meet my shadow in a lucid dream and the LD I received faded up with me in an iron cast bathtub.

Total personal alchemy... your blacksmith is like my octopus. Very cool.

If it's not too personal of a question, was there water in the bathtub? And if so, what was its feel of fluidity, or viscosity?

I only ask for my own personal... ummm, like, research... not to be nosey smile .

dreamosis wrote:

I gussied up and tried to be neutral in his presence--not run, not freak.  I even tried to feel love for this manifestation of me.  As I did that, he transformed into a full-figured, strawberry blonde with a high school letterman jacket...She immediately told me her concerns.

Hello!... now enters the Shadow Self. Immediate concerns? Ahem, heh... no doubt.

dreamosis wrote:

Her concerns were that my choice of spiritual path was detracting from our social life, and that I wouldn't be popular if I kept going down the road I'm going. 

Mostly, she said, she just couldn't understand it, she just didn't get what I got out of it.  I said it wasn't about what I got out of it, it's just that it feels good, it brightens my heart.  ...As I said that she handed me the letterman jacket and disappeared. 

I put on the letterman jacket and fished through the pockets.  Inside I found, weirdly, advertisements for new age or spiritual books that I have wanted to buy but talked myself out of.  There was a "credit card" in there, too, that instead of a number said something like, "Free to Have Fun."

Oh those pesky Shadow Selves, they're such tricksters.... wink .

Good job on calling Shadow Self to your Light... and, in a way only appropriate for just you, you are "steeling" yourself for wholeness.

dreamosis wrote:

Crazy...

Yeah, it's that... but from where I sit, it's kinda amazing too cool .

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

lol
  • Registered: 2005-03-07

Re: Shadow Self Integration

Auendove wrote:

Did you know that a blacksmith is also known as a "Smitty"? It's like their trade nickname.

I didn't know this, but it's worth checking in about I think.   

Auendove wrote:

If it's not too personal of a question, was there water in the bathtub? And if so, what was its feel of fluidity, or viscosity?

There was water in the tub.  The room was dimly lit.  My recollection of the water is that it was warm/room temperature, and a little less than clear.  It wasn't thick, but the feeling wasn't refreshing--of course, I was shocked by the shadow figure though. 

As the shadow figure talked to me, my own inner awareness, and the dream--the water, the scene--seemed to dim even more.  That is, until I calmed down.

Does a bathtub have a certain alchemical association?  Other than the association with baptism?

You can't change a tiger's stripes,
but you can avoid its teeth.

18 Reply by Auendove (edited by Auendove 2005-08-22 21:01:06)

  • From: terra incognita
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Shadow Self Integration

It's not so much, I think, about the bathtub per se... or even "baptism".

Pure and simple, water is a conduit of electricity... it facilitates a change of energy, and power.

The human body and the earth are each made of  apx. 70% water. Water is of major symbolism for humankind, as you know. So, it's not so much the bathtub, as what it's made of, iron, and that there is the water to fire the process. I think the bathtub may represent the alchemic bowl the transformation takes place in, but what's important is the change/shift in energy.

You may want to be mindful to drink pure water at this time... and infuse that water with your good intentions.

Blacksmiths use water in the tempering process of molding iron into a particular form. That, along with a heavy hammer big_smile .

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

lol

19 Reply by thook (edited by thook 2005-08-24 20:44:14)

  • Registered: 2004-04-09

Re: Shadow Self Integration

Had a Shadow Self encounter in a dream a couple of nights ago. Would have posted sooner, but been busy. Dogs with fleas. Surely this planet could have done without fleas! wink Anyway, John Goodman, the actor, was in the dream and my interactions were primarily with him. Why John Goodman I am not sure, but I have my intuitive guesses flavored with a few grains of salt. How the whole dream sequence began I do not remember, but I found myself at the bank of a river (I believe) staring down at it and a typically medieval styled black and white image of a flying devil appeared in front of me superimposed on the scenery. It was very graceful. As I saw this, John Goodman, standing behind me and to my left, says,"When you see your shadow you have to turn around." With that, John G.'s name in the dream was "Chuck". After being shown this, we came to a house and while conversing with "Chuck" he began writing on the wall. As I was watching him write I became aware it was his name, but he said I was not look at it because I could/would fall. I felt compelled to see what he wrote and all I could make out was a stylized "S" with some lines running through it. Then as I became aware of what he was writing it began to dawn on me it was "Satan", and all the while a feeling of terror began coming over me. I had to look away. And as I did, in a state of confusion about what I was feeling and why I wasn't to look at it, I found "Chuck" in front of me lying on a bed conveying to me it was temptation. Meanwhile, Candy and Ted, an overweight lesbian couple (nothing derogatory) who happens to be friends of ours and large contributors to our little animal sanctuary, were milling around the room in the area of the bed as if they lived there. Ted was inconsequential to whole thing as far as direct interaction. However, Candy was paying attention to the events and smiling. I then realized, as if being conveyed once again, it was about balance and lifting my awareness out of the lower emotions. I even remember thinking,"Oh, this is what balance feels like." Like a light bulb went off and I went,"Oh, okay!" I was able then to interact in the dream in a "different" way, and Chuck had disappeared for the time being. Then, I find myself in the kitchen with Candy, who is in light spirits and still smiling, and Ted, again just kind of in the background, and someone else whose identity I do not recall. There was big oven much like the one I remember when I worked at Pizza Hut. The pizzas were baked as they ran through on a "conveyer"(a clue, heh) belt to the other end. But, in this oven were cookies/cupcakes decorated with what looked like M&M's in vividly bright colors. I remember looking at them with lucid awareness thinking how good they looked. At this point, Candy and the others were exiting the room and I got the feeling I was supposed to wait to eat them or something like it wasn't time, but I was scoping them out thinking maybe I could just grab mine. At this point my memory is unclear as to what exactly happens next. But, all I remember after that is pulling up to convenience store in my red 4runner and meeting this attractive girl. What I was there for I do not recall (sorry), but I felt like I should "leave this one alone" and leave. No sooner was I leaving than I turned to strike it up with this girl again, thinking foolishy I could "get away with it" when Chuck from behind me hollars, lightheartedly as I recall,"Hey, hey, heyyyy!" Ooooops, busted. I dropped that flirtatious idea real quick. At this point I began pulling out of the dream back to this waking consciousness, but not without reflecting on the dream's relevence to this life and Chuck waving with a smile in a "Dah, go on!" and hearing,"Your not ready yet." ??????? I awoke not feeling comfortable with this departing message. hmm Obviously I struggle with temptation.
I wished I had recorded the dream immediately as there are more details, I just don't remember them clearly enough to sequence them correctly. Boy, now I feel a bit bare.

As to Dreamosis' dream, could the water in the tub be symbolic of the emotions, being unclear and unrefreshing and growing dimmer until he calmed down. Sitting in the emotions, per se?

I would like to add I will try to recall more of the dream because there were other dreams I had related to this part. I awoke and went back to sleep a couple of times. The second dream I had in relation to the shadow encounter was darker in emotion. But, I need to piece together the events before I post more. Sittin' on fences!:rolleyes:

" Then it was, then again it will be. And though the course may change sometimes rivers always reach the sea." Robert Plant
  • From: NOTHING
  • Registered: 2004-09-03

Re: Shadow Self Integration

thook wrote:

John Goodman, the actor, was in the dream

Now I wish I would have posted my dream weeks back with a guy looking just like John Goodman . . .

I am as is Void.

21 Reply by Auendove (edited by Auendove 2005-08-25 09:12:56)

  • From: terra incognita
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Shadow Self Integration

thook wrote:

As to Dreamosis' dream, could the water in the tub be symbolic of the emotions, being unclear and unrefreshing and growing dimmer until he calmed down. Sitting in the emotions, per se?

Oh, of course, absolutely. Water as symbolism has various applications, not of the least is emotion and the well-spring from which those emotions spew forth--the sub/unconscious.

My a-maze-ment with dreamosis's post was more focused on how the "Smitty"/blacksmith symbology unfolded. I could feel it coming, I knew it was coming, yet I was very aware that this is his story, and must play out per his own free will (one of the greatest lessons I learned from the Cs). To have said anything before the fact of his own realization would have colored his awareness. I was "primed" to comment on this part of his journey, and was excited to be able to do as much.

The below four links are from--

www.mythsdreamsymbols.com

There's an interesting article about Shadow Self here--

http://search.hp.netscape.com/hp/boomfr … %2Fdmdeath

This page is about the appearance of famous people in dreams, in relation to Shadow Self work--

http://search.hp.netscape.com/hp/boomfr … %2Fdmdeath

And then here you will find some info about the symbolism of water--

http://search.hp.netscape.com/hp/boomfr … %2Fdmdeath

The next article I just really liked. I like the eco-friendly perspective she engages, but really like what I bolded at the bottom. I also found it interesting that in the Shadow Self article I've put on the back burner I employed the sybolism of a garden.... a soul garden.

http://www.jungatlanta.com/shadow.html

How do we know when the shadow is lurking in our own hearts, and how can we come to terms with it? Jung gives us some hints when he writes that the shadow has "an emotional nature, a kind of autonomy, and accordingly an obsessive or, better, possessive quality." If we are feeling unusually emotional about someone or something -- if it feels as though our emotions have us rather than our having them -- then we might begin to suspect that the shadow is not far from us. If we feel that we cannot stand another person (think of Bill Clinton and Kenneth Starr), then it is very likely that the other represents significant shadow qualities for us. Whenever we want to protest, "Oh, no, that's not me --I’m not like that!", then it's very likely that we are.

My own experience tells me that Jung was right when he observed that becoming conscious of the shadow "meets with considerable resistance" and "frequently requires much painstaking work extending over a long period." It is painful, even humiliating, to acknowledge our own "primitive, inferior" emotions and impulses. The work must proceed slowly, gently, one step at a time, "with insight and good will."

I also agree with Jung that it is not possible to assimilate the shadow completely. It is, after all, an archetype, and therefore it has a collective aspect which can never be totally integrated into the individual ego. The shadow will always be bigger than we are: our little lights may grow brighter, but the darkness will always be there, just beyond the boundaries of consciousness.

While I was studying in Zurich, I often heard Jungian analyst Ian Baker speak of "recycling the shadow." This image offers us a new way of approaching the shadow and suggests that working with it is like creating a compost pit or recycling our household waste. In our "throw-away" culture we regard refuse such as coffee grounds, wilted vegetables, newspapers and aluminum cans as so much garbage to be tossed away as soon as possible. Similarly, we regard shadow material such as disturbing thoughts and fantasies, painful emotions, and upsetting dreams as psychological garbage. We want to get rid of it, forget about it, sweep it under the rug, deny that it exists. But what would happen if we began to think of it instead as psychological gold? What if we engaged our own shadow material by writing down our dreams, accepting that we sometimes have "negative" thoughts and feelings, and withdrawing our projections onto others? This would be the psychological equivalent of starting a compost pile in the back yard or deciding to recycle our old papers, bottles and cans. Instead of bundling our "dirty stuff' up in plastic and leaving it by the curb to be hauled away to the landfill, we would sort it out, clean it, plow it back into the soil of our inner gardens or re-process it to be used in new and creative ways. This work can be hot, dirty, smelly, and boring. It requires commitment, courage, patience, persistence, and imagination. The results, however, are well worth the effort. Less trash clogging up the environment. Conservation of our natural resources. Brighter flowers and juicier fruit in our gardens. Surprising inventions such as sweaters made from plastic bottles and notebook covers made from old tires. Mental and emotional well-being. Compassion towards ourselves and others. Creative work. Maybe even a measure of wholeness.

Another memory from Switzerland: I am driving through the countryside with a German friend. It is a balmy warm Spring day and the car windows are rolled down. Lovely aromas waft through the air, delighting our senses. Then we pass a large, well-kept farm with a sizable manure pile beside the barn door. Suddenly the sweet aroma changes to something far less delightful. As we hold our noses, my friend tells me that in Europe a farmer's wealth is measured by the size of his manure pile. The more wealth, the more cows, and the more cows, the more manure! We agree that this farmer must be very wealthy indeed, and laughingly drive on.

Perhaps it is so with the shadow: the bigger and darker and smellier it is, the wealthier we are -- if we are able to see it as wealth and learn how to use it. It can be garbage or compost, a manure pile or 99% pure gold. We are the farmers: the work is up to us.

– Susan Olson

Some of my own words were this--

As have many others, I find consciousness to be as a garden. A soul garden. There is the garden of life we grow through in our visible environment wherein each individual cultivates relationships with people and materials, yet there also exists a prime virtual "real estate", the acreage of one's extended, often times unrevealed consciousness... what a farmer would call the "south forty". The later is where the Shadow Self grows and, in human deed, is nurtured through the natural pestiferous course of living.

Metaphorically, one may consider the Shadow Self as a weed bed in their consciousness, their soul garden, and rightfully so. At first glance Shadow Self does appear unsightly. As I will reveal, I found my Shadow Self embodied a powerful sense of reckless regard where others' welfare was concerned, her profound lack of compassion makes "unsightly" a kind word choice. Even so, with discernment being the better part of judgement, take heed in how your shadowed hinterland is valued. Like pesticide to a weed, be not toxic to-ward your Shadow Self, it will only de-light in this course of action. Our Shadow Selves are literally cultivated and raised on a fertilizing diet of human toxicity, and one only empowers it's autonomy when attempting to extinguish it's presence.

All the while weeds and Shadow Self appear chaotic, they each serve a refined purpose--they stabilize otherwise disturbed ground.  The Shadow Self holds the "plot" together until the gardener/consciousness is prepared to outgrow their rooted "unsightliness". Be mindful, heartfelt, and touchingly careful when you enter Shadow Self's acre, for you will be tilling and seeding your soul garden for future ample and healthful growth.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

lol
  • Registered: 2004-03-28

Re: Shadow Self Integration

What interesting timing for this thread Auendove! A couple nights ago I had a very vivid dream where I believe I confronted my shadow self. It might've even been spurred on by reading this thread the day before it happened.

The events of the dream were all over the place but the whole time I was interacting with this man who seemed VERY familiar to me. He was one of those dream people who you don't recognize upon waking, but while in the dream you feel like you know them very well. He wasn't just familiar to me by appearance but by his actions and his "aura." It's hard to describe but I felt I'd known him a very long time.

Throughout the whole dream he was doing things that agitated me, made me fearful or angry, or outright put me in danger. It was very odd, like his only purpose was to piss me off and get me into trouble. But all of his actions related to things I'd experienced in waking life. His entire character seemed to be based on the archetype of manipulator and hoaxer. For instance at the beginning of the dream we had a mutual unspoken understanding of each other. I knew immediately upon meeting him that he didn't have my best interests in mind. He proceeded to coax me into becoming very friendly with him, and I fell for it even though at the same time I knew he was manipulating me. This is a bit hard to describe in words but if anyone's seen the TV show Star Trek The Next Generation it was like the relationship between Q and Captain Picard, this man being the role of Q.

So I feel as though this character was some part of my shadow self, but in the role of an archetype. I've spent a couple days now thinking about the implications of this dream. This archetype -- the manipulator/hoaxer/charmer -- seemed to have an inherent duality to itself. On the one hand, it manipulates entities by charming them and becoming their friend while also scheming to put its "prey" at a disadvantage, thus resulting in negative effects. But on the other hand, this archetype teaches an entity to be skeptical and aware and discerning, forcing one to gain more knowledge, thus resulting in postive effects.

Confronting one's shadow seems to be imperitive to growth, because you have to learn about both sides of duality before you can move on.

On a possibly related note, after I awoke from that dream I had another of what I can only call "purging experiences." I began crying over nothing and everything at the same time and couldn't stop for about 20 minutes.

thook wrote:

"When you see your shadow you have to turn around."

Haha thook that's so peculiar it made me laugh out loud. It seems like these shadow self encounters are very much personalized because we each have different types of skeletons in the closet.

  • T-Ren
  • T-Ren
  • work in progress
  • Offline
  • From: Earth Lab
  • Registered: 2004-11-17

Re: Shadow Self Integration

I've been reading and rereading this thread quite a few times, thanks A-dove and others for your sharing.

I read "The wizard of earthsea" When in high school and just recently saw the movie (hmmm shakes head and shrugs, weird coincidence eh) I think there is quite a parallel.

I think if you leave it as a story it won't impact you very much but if you read it as a commentary or an analogy...it becomes impactful.

I wonder if it's the "skeletons in the closet" that encourage the shadow self. I view the passage in Isaiah where it talks about the King of Tyre the same way...it could only be about the "human/physical" King, OR, it could be about Satan/ Lucifer. For His undealt with skeleton came when he(it) "decided in your(his) heart," Before this time there was no Satan/Lucifer the negative...his shadow self formed and came into control. Just some thoughts on the about similarities I see.

As for the view of water, interesting, again in high school science water is viewed as quite amazing, it is a universal diluent and solvent (I hope I have the terms correct.) At 70% water or bodies maybe the perfect "crucible" for change to take place and allow for the alchemy of us (soul/spirit/heart/mind) to take place. Again just some thoughts.

I think in "The Wizard" they even went under water as two separate entities and came up as one...

This linked with Haven's recent post on "Just Being" has really given me something to chew on regarding being ever conscious of each waking moment and interaction I have.

I had to face my shadow self regarding me and my marriage a few years ago and just recently a buddy had issues come out and what he is going through was very similar to mine...only he was facing them differently, but at least we had a common ground for interacting had I ignored this we wouldn't have. I am realizing other portions of my shadow I have to face too.

Peace,
Teddy

"It means the Matrix can't tell you who you are" - Trinity
  • From: terra incognita
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Shadow Self Integration

seeker and Teddy,

Thanks fellas tongue .

I'm just tickled pink y'all, all of you here on this page, are getting something out of this. For what it's worth, it does mean a lot to me... even it is y'alls journeywork, and not mine.

Snicker! Snort!... I'm just a butterfly fluttering a wing here wink .

Well, that last bit put a goofy smile on my face lol .

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

lol
  • Registered: 2004-04-09

Re: Shadow Self Integration

No doubt, Auendove! I'm feeling more commited to this process even though it seems to take me a bit longer than I think need be to rebound from bumps and set backs. I have been a bit happier and more accepting of myself lately since jumping into this page. I am grateful we can all share here on this forum. It sincerely make my heart warm and my brow buzz with a glow! Gush, gush.............Seriously, CHEERS ALL!:cool:

" Then it was, then again it will be. And though the course may change sometimes rivers always reach the sea." Robert Plant

26 Reply by Auendove (edited by Auendove 2005-08-27 19:53:59)

  • From: terra incognita
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Shadow Self Integration

thook wrote:

I'm feeling more commited to this process even though it seems to take me a bit longer than I think need be to rebound from bumps and set backs.

thook, lovey, it took me a couple of months to get through my process, give yourself time. It's taken a lifetime to bring your Shadow Self to the form it is... a few weeks, a few months, whatever amount of time it takes, is simply the amount of time it takes.

Remember this Aesop's Fable?--

A hare one day ridiculed the short feet and slow pace of the Tortoise, who replied, laughing:  "Though you be swift as the wind, I will beat you in a race."  The Hare, believing his assertion to be simply impossible, assented to the proposal; and they agreed that the Fox should choose the course and fix the goal.  On the day appointed for the race the two started together.  The Tortoise never for a moment stopped, but went on with a slow but steady pace straight to the end of the course.  The Hare, lying down by the wayside, fell fast asleep.  At last waking up, and moving as fast as he could, he saw the Tortoise had reached the goal, and was comfortably dozing after his fatigue.

wink

Cheers to you too... "mr. tortoise".

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

lol
  • Registered: 2005-03-07

Re: Shadow Self Integration

Auendove wrote:

You may want to be mindful to drink pure water at this time... and infuse that water with your good intentions.

...I didn't see this post until this morning, but this is exactly what I've been doing for the last week or so--literally, putting Reiki and good intentions into my Reverse Osmosis water. smile

**

I had another Shadow Self dream...Last night.  I was waiting in a cashier's line in a gift store and, suddenly, a man in front of me in line fell to the ground in a seizure.  He had two friends with him who rushed to his side.  Incredibly, as he seizured he catapulted to the ceiling and thrashed around on the ceiling. 

I moved forward and decided I could help with healing energy.  As the man fell back to the ground I began to send energy.  I realized at that point that I was dreaming.  I was lucid.  As I called energy, it rushed into the backs of my hands like gusts of wind. 

I sent energy to all the men and they reacted right away.  They reacted by turning on me violently.  The seizuring man stood up.  They all surrounded me and walked in a circle around me.  Their faces sunk into shadows. 

I wondered at that point if it was a trap set by Negs...

I told them, "If you're my shadow selves, I call you back."  I wasn't petrified, but I was anxious, and the dream faded.  I could still feel it, though.  And feel them.

I said again, "If you're me then stay; if you're not me then leave."  I felt a merging in the dark.  Then I saw, in the void I was in, a gold star of David before I woke.

You can't change a tiger's stripes,
but you can avoid its teeth.
  • Registered: 2004-04-09

Re: Shadow Self Integration

'Notha' Buddha point for da man! Congratulations Dreamosis! In a GIFT store, no less!

" Then it was, then again it will be. And though the course may change sometimes rivers always reach the sea." Robert Plant