Topic: When Hell freezes.
When Hell freezes.
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer was so "profound" that the professor
shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed), or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions
and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change
of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms.Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year,
"...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you.",
and take into account the fact that I still have
not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
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If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.
