Got Slammed by Matrix Agent

Wasn't sure if I would post this because  I realize I walked into the lion's mouth of my own volition, even though I still believe it was the right place to go at the time regarding the intention I had that day.

I was dealing with a government agency that is supposed to be "helping" me with some things. And the supervisor of the actually mostly very kind people I was dealing with came in and started asking me a million questions about my veracity. I was already VERY stressed out and sort of off my guard and so I watched this dragon lady, who  I am sure either has no soul or was totally reprogrammed and puppeted, watch me cry, with a very **expressionless** stare. I mean, I would swear she had no heart chakra or higher centers at all.

Anyway, at that point I totally let go of my ego and just let it out, which is very unusual for me to do in public. But I think it was actually right to not resist for risk of MORE my loosh being snapped up by this crazy lady, if that makes any sense. In other words I was owning my feelings for ME instead of trying to hold back a flood that could have been a meal, otherwise, for an energy hungry STS.

Anyway, I could, strangely, have my experience and at the same time observe this phenomena of the STS trying to feed. Most people (like the other one I was dealing with also at that moment) would have some sense of empathy, compassion, etc. But not her. She just waited for an "appropriate" moment to continue her cruel diatribe, LIKE A ROBOT, and with what seemed like a practiced sense of assessment of when she should pick up right where she left off, just continued to be a little "B." I rarely use that word, especially because generally, I really care about other people in life. But in this case I think it is accurate. She even began to make some additonal  assumptions about why I was "really" in the facility and began telling me she and her office were not where I should be and she was not going to even try to be of assistance. As well as what else I should be doing.

Basically she was getting very bossy and also began telling me, instead of asking, about my information. I told her she was wrong and  the first woman also corrected her and said, no, she is here for THIS reason, not THAT one. Which had already been explained but she clearly was ignoring this part.  The Dragon Lady then paused and then proceeded to ignore her coworker by still acting and talking as if I was there for reason "C" instead of reason "D." Is that not insane? I mean how bizzare is that?? She was like a wicked computer program rather than a human with an intact heart and mind of her own.

What also amazed me is that during  the experience I did not react with anger or fear, just sadness. Because I was very mentally and emotionally exhausted that day. I did not even really focus on the STS'er  but rather  was somehow able to simply observe her in a detached way, staying focused on allowing myself to have my tears and then continue with my questions and purpose, when I was calm enough. Only later did I begin to feel disdain for this THING because I let myself dwell on it a few times, then caught myself, realizing that it seemed like a residual experience of the shadow of old programming tapes in my head. So I did not let it get to me as much as I might have, even 6 months ago.

I am sure that nearly  everyone in that office building has no idea about certain aspects the government's secrets or devlish behavior and what they really are representing. I think many of them are also likley believing they are doing right and well by being there. I do not feel compelled to weigh each person's choice to work there as bad.  Not my job, I know. And as I mentioned above the others there were mostly very kind, if not a little strange, though. Hive mentality in action?

In any case, I only wish that it had been easier to be there and that everything could have been handled that day instead of me having to go back next week (thankfully, to see a different person). But this experiece was, in a way, fascinating. And very educational.

I am also very much aware that the knowledge I have gained here and at Montalk and a few other places is what gave me the protection and ability to  know that, when the dust finally cleared, I gave a rat's ass about what anyone like her would think of me.  Because I do not cower to pure evil or use the values and seeming perceptions of the disagreeables as a litmus test for how I should feel about myself anymore. Now that I have a language and greater understanding for this darker aspect of the 3-D life experience, I feel so much better equipped to glean more about what I have been dealing with overall.

Do not mean to sound conceited - I am  just thankful for this site and all of you for helping to create a safe place in which I can share my experiences and observations.