When I said that the higher self 'planned' everything that happened and will happen to us, I didn't mean that in a fatalistic sense, as if we didn't have free will or freedom.
For sure, my higher self may not have planned that I am going to eat froot loops tomorrow morning, that's just insignificant.
I talk about the significant things in our lives. They all have a karmic basis. Our actions/talk/thoughts (karma measn action in sanskrit, but action in a wide sense), determines our fate, destiny.
This is our base, foundation. It determines our blood relationships such as family, genetics, heredity, and all relationships before the adult age.
Because of our attitudes, we attract or repell certain individuals.
On the other hand, there is free will. But i canot choose whether or not my karma will come back to me. there is not choice here. it happens, whether you want it or not. It's not true that karma comes back to you only if you believe it. Sheer nonsense.
What I can choose is my reaction towards these fateful events that come back to me: will I choose to become bitter or caring and forgiving? to be an egoist or altruist?
The hard things that hit us in live are karmically determined. Period. No choice involved there.
It is too simplistic to say there is "only freewill and no fate". as simplistic to say that "all is fate and there is no fre wiil nor freedom". I hope we can forget about these stupid points of view, the sooner the better.