I've been watching this thread on and off for the length of it's inception and decided to be bold and share my one and only experience. I posted it on another forum, so will copy/paste to here. A friend introduced me to it, and he says that everyone he's ever turned on to it has had a completely different experience. He loves it. I on the other hand bounced off the cosmic walls.
The last time I got high, I was with a friend whom I trust, and we were smoking some marijuana and then some salvia divinorum. Everything was going seemingly well, realizing/remembering we are the universe and I could laugh at my own bizarre behaviors. We listened to some music, a variety of eras and genres. Drank some tea. Then we were listening to a record, the name of which I do not recall, which was of an artistic troupe from the 70's era in which they were performing a comical (depending on which side of the emotional spectrum you are on) mind altering play. It wasn't musical. Whatever was taking place, I began to perceive it has happening inside of me and directly relating to internal events, emotionally and psychologically. I became uncomfortable and frozen internally. As my friend and I began conversing, more him then me as it was difficult for me to vocalize any of my thoughts and feelings, I began to perceive "Rob" as not "Rob" anymore. I was face to face with only God. I began to repent or confess what I was truly feeling inside, with difficulty, and broke into tears crying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I was at that time literally the most unhappy and saddest person on Earth. That is how I felt, and those were my thoughts. That was my reality in that moment. Then I leaned forward, sitting cross legged, reaching over to take his arm and began to feel and think I was going to hell. I began crying uncontrollably at the top of lungs, like a baby being birthed,"Why, why, why, why!" I felt I was in VERY big trouble and there was no getting out of it no matter my attempts to pull myself together. I began screaming "NO, NO, NO! over and over while thinking I was screwed forever and ever. This was it. The games and indecision were all over. No more chances. Accept the truth NOW or never. I raced around the small cabin we were in literally going out of my mind, a complete psychotic break. This was the single most terrifying experience of my life. It was eternal hell, infinite hell. My friend tried to console me. But when I looked at Rob, I felt his consolation was a lie. He was God mocking my own desire to wishful thinking. I freaked so hard and I could not find any peace. I kept screaming,"Make it stop, make it stop!" A bit later, with Rob's encouragement (I began to accept he was maybe still Rob, again) I was able to calm down a bit, and we decided to lay down and get some rest. My mind was so completely and utterly fried. I was unable to think straight or come from any place of focus. I could be led around like any drugged mental patient. When I was able to get myself to my sleeping bag I sat shaking so full of uncertainty with the feeling I had just chosen the illusion once again just so I didn't have to freak out anymore. Rob had then joined me on the floor in his sleeping bag. And as he was talking to me to try and comfort me, he pointed to a mouse on the floor and up against the wall. He said,"See that mouse over there? What's he doing?" In a complete stupor I looked over and said "Yeah." I felt so stupid. Then he said,"Well, this is the most normal you've been all night". I said,"Oh yeah!" My awareness popped back in somewhat and I realized what was bringing me out the turmoil I was experiencing was an outward shift of my attention as opposed to totally imploding on myself. A balance of external focus and internal focus. Shortly after we laid down he held me to comfort me, and we began to doze off. I kept feeling this pull to go deep into the void, but I was so scared of going back to that hell I had just been through I fought the pull. Just then, in response to my inward hesitation, my friend said,"Awe man...". But, he was speaking to me while his body was asleep! The next day, it was almost like reliving the experience. I couldn't shake off the experience from that night. I was left with a choice, was my life going to be a heaven or a hell? Will I let go of my illusions and selfishness, my fear? The story goes on, but this post is already very long. Needless to say, that day still bothers me some and hesitate to try pot or salvia again. I wonder if this will have to remain with me forever, or if I'll have to go through this again. It would be nice to just heal it.
" Then it was, then again it will be. And though the course may change sometimes rivers always reach the sea." Robert Plant