• Registered: 2004-06-24

Topic: Getting divorce

I suspect my wife is a matrix agent sent to destroy my life. Did a good job of it, too, because of my inability to take control of things, particularly finances.  I got her into AA for her drug habit(diet pills) but she quit going after a few months. I'm not very good adapting to major changes and I have a lot of fear around this but I can't stay stuck here even though it's familiar. I bought into the ratrace 15yrs ago and it has been a source of constant mega-stress. I must have watched too much Leave it to Beaver when I was a kid, I carried a lot of illusions about having a happy family. I can hear the judge and the critic inside telling me I'm a failure, how can you be so stupid.

  • From: terra incognita
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Getting divorce

WEOPPOSEDECEPTION wrote:

I must have watched too much Leave it to Beaver when I was a kid, I carried a lot of illusions about having a happy family. I can hear the judge and the critic inside telling me I'm a failure, how can you be so stupid.

Try not to be so hard on yourself lovey, okay? You are not a failure, and "the judge and the critic" are a product of programming... I really don't think they are a part of you.

Who ever could've known in the 50's that television programming would become one of the greatest impediments on our couplings and offspring. They raised up ideals about familial relationships that didn't reflect life back then, much less now. Relationships were difficult then, and they're difficult today. The only thing is today we're just plain ole confused about what we think are our own expectations of the perfect family. They are not our expectations, they're implanted expectations.

I'm sorry to hear you are in pain WE... . Just try to not be so hard on yourself, and hang in there... you never know, maybe a severing of the relationship will open your life up to some new possibilties you've only dreamed of... genuinely dreamed of , not fantasy implants of TPTB wink.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
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If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

lol
  • lyra
  • lyra
  • Naked Emperor Pointer Outer
  • Offline
  • From: my own private idaho
  • Registered: 2004-03-25

Re: Getting divorce

WOD......I remember my mother having the same issue, being a kid who was raised on 50's television she was also conditioned about how families and the real world were "supposed" to be.  She watched a lot of TV as a kid, submersing herself into the fantasy families she watched on TV, because her own family was a dysfunctional mess...Leave it to Beaver, Ozzie and Harriet and all that jazz.   It worsened the situation because those fantasy TV families are so far out in left field in terms of realism.....talk about a contrast.   

Both my parents stayed married for 17 years longer than they should have because they were programmed and conditioned - via Catholic upbringings as well as television - about how things were "supposed" to be, so consequently, both were a collassal mess after the divorce.    It was very interesting to say the least in retrospect when I think about their divorce and how they handled it...or didn't handle it, is more like it.   Many people casually divorce like they're changing clothes.   For my parents it was like getting socked in the gut, due to all that programming, all that TV, all that religion.   What a mess.............

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy shit ... what a ride!"  - Anonymous
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"I get by with a little help from my (higher density) friends."
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lyra's Website

  • Registered: 2004-12-06

Re: Getting divorce

Just realised what WOD is smile !!

Hi WOD, hope this finds you adjusting to the changes, hard as it must be. I wish you well in your new freedom where there is less pain and restriction. You are courageous in moving on; to not live a lie. And to give the lie the truth by moving on.

Sometimes when pain is so close to us, we can't see the bigger picture. My words are inadequate, but strangely enough, some words you shared in the current affairs thread about accepting All is One and accepting the world as it is, seem to ring true for yoursituation at present. WE have all the answers we need within.

This is what you wrote:

WOD wrote:

We don't have to understand the world, just accept it. Our essence is like the cinema screen, which remains unchanged when scenes of horror and destruction are shown on it. We can only get hurt if we take a position or opinion on something. Judgement and expectation hinder us from aligning with God's will.

May you have the strength to apply this knowing to your current situation.

Love,

V

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
  • Registered: 2004-06-24

Re: Getting divorce

Thanks for the support. One door closes, another one opens. I have been getting a lot of guidance spiritually these past few years. I like to use a little prayer from Robert Monroe material: "I deeply desire the guidance, assistance, and protection of all pure white light entities whose wisdom and development is equal to or greater than my own."  Probably found a few here on the forum.

  • From: US
  • Registered: 2004-09-21

Re: Getting divorce

Dang TV!  big_smile 
...
WOD, you could look at it this way:  At least you are not homeless, pregnant, and with two kids at your side.  Whenever your inner critic starts to bug you, just point to me and say, "See!  See!  She was worse!  She made even stupider decisions.  I was never THAT much of a failure! ha haha ha haha" smile   

Secret is: don't look back, don't think about anything from the past for a while; just focus on surviving the present moment.

Eventually, you will realize that this was all part of your own plan for yourself.  You did this to make sure that you remembered something.  I think I chose my path to remember about psychopaths and to be led to the C's, to really get down and dirty to understand the negativity of this planet at a deep level. 

Now these remembering plans have served their purpose and I am in the process of cleaning up the mess so to speak.  This incarnation has been one hell of a trip for me, and for all of us as far as I can tell.  Gack!  Hope we can survive to see all our plans through.

Good Luck!
Kathy

Never Give Up!

freeme's Website

  • Registered: 2004-06-24

Re: Getting divorce

Thanks for the support. My only real enemy is the mind, when it goes to judgement or expectation. So I lost in the ratrace,  I had concluded it was all bullshit anyway, keeping the lawn green, etc. All I need is peace at this point. I have my sobriety and a spiritual path to follow. I'll keep the lesson and release the pain. Reality is what it is. God doesn't need me to interpret it for Him.