61 Reply by tillibullu (edited by tillibullu 2004-12-12 20:14:44)

  • Registered: 2004-12-07

Re: Doubts even here...

LIGHTWAVE
Your analogy about our actions in this timespace being like the film negative, and the full picture being something we cannot see until it’s printed….
I really like that!

LIGHTWAVE wrote:
“Sometimes I am so disillusioned I want the whole thing to end, sometimes I do ok and handle living in this state and others times I just feel this is crazy…Some days I feel so alive and blessed and grateful and other days I am flat on my face wondering how the hell am I going to go on with my life knowing what I know now.“?

I can relate to this.  A decade ago I had succumbed to a deep depression.  Of course depression is based on illusion.  Apparently, Evagrius the Christian Mystic identified an eighth deadly sin, which somehow got lost in the Christian Tradition, and that sin was Depression!

There are times when I get depressed, but I have come to see that this comes because the part of me that can see beyond 3d gets ahead of my current space-time self, and gets upset at the disparity between ideal and current reality.

Coming to understand this greatly helps me to calm down when things are discordant.

The past few weeks I really came out of another “dark night of the soul“? which was weighing on me the past few months, and I returned to that state of joy, peace, trust. 

I believe this to be a much more natural state, and I believe we have a right to "earn" that state if we keep things in perspective and remember that we are here for lessons, to strengthen ourselves and to share our light.  (I love montalk’s analogy that Earth is a weight-training room, resistance all around, designed as a place for us to bulk up and gain strength!) Yes, we volunteered for our trials and tribulations!

It was also extremely helpful for me to read the article on Emotional Management on montalk’s site.  Something really clicked.  I felt like I was the last one to “get it“?!!! 

I don’t have to repress and deny my emotions (I always get wary when anyone seems to be suggesting that I do so), but rather I have to learn to manage them and not let them control me.  Experience them, let them flow, but that doesn’t mean I hafeta let them see me sweat….

Rather, just be COOL!!!

LIGHTWAVE, your inner tenderness and sensitivity register with me, I relate.  Those things can be a source of strength to us if we learn how to manage them.

             "Only the strong go crazy.  The weak just go along...."

We must learn how to drive our machines in order to, like you say, watch the bullets stop mid-air. 

Yeah, it’s dope, let’s keep getting stronger!

I like NEOMATRIX’s quote of Bob Monroe getting bored in that “Home“? realm.  Lightwave, we were probably bored where we were, so we chose to come down here to get stronger.  Let’s do it, let’s not loose our nerve, let’s have the guts to carry out our missions.

We have to be vigilant, we have no choice.  We can let go and flow but in a protected space.  When interacting with others who are unaware, we have to be careful and not pout about the fact that we must be careful.  But we are working towards greater light!

LIGHTWAVE, you ask,
“How do I manage to go on without being so depressed and worn down by it all and continue to believe I am not crazy?“?

Well, I promise you, you are not crazy!  So just KNOW that and let go of the struggle there.  You are who you are, you are here for a purpose, rejoice that you are “on the winning side“? and that you are awake. 

Cause we all know, as painful as our experiences are, we are not suffering as greatly as the sleepers.  Otherwise we’d all turn around and go back in the pen/the jail/the matrix and go back to sleep.

Also, LIGHTWAVE, I wonder if you project an expectation of rejection.  What self-fulfilling prophecies does this create?

62 Reply by tillibullu (edited by tillibullu 2004-12-12 20:17:42)

  • Registered: 2004-12-07

Re: Doubts even here...

CZYX wrote:
“They're generally impervious to evidence because their "knowledge" isn't based on evidence, but on the direction in which their particular school of fish is swimming.“?

Yes, yes!!  And like Osho writes,

           We humans are like fish who don't know they're wet.

Or, like the main character in the film Sankofa states
 
           If you was born a slave like me, it was easier to accept things like they was.


That’s why our non-attachment is so important.  All you can do is your best, all you can do is offer a Truth when opportunity permits, and to word it in the way that is most likely to get it absorbed.  Beyond that, the choice is someone else’s free-will choice.  If they want to listen, if they want to awaken, they will.  IF they don’t we must let go and let them be.  Who are we to mess with their karma, their free-will, their choice to continue to suffer?

If we are unhappy, SOMETIMES it is because we are allowing the Sleeping Ones to make us unhappy.  If we are unhappy about the state of other people’s awareness, perhaps the problem is in our attachment to fixing, to making the world how we want it (like we are spoiled toddlers). 

Why should we allow ourselves to be unhappy?  We are awake. Let us rejoice!

Let us shine brightly, all it takes is one candle in the darkness to inspire another person to spark up.

If I look at the last decade of my life, even when I was struggling to balance, my light did spark off the light of others, even when I was not trying to wake them up….

probably precisely because I was not trying to wake them up!

I need to remember this...