trauma based mind control (Page 3 of 4)

I have a few moments and would like to make a comment about MC/negative programming. Number one, why in the hell would we have agreed to subject ourselves to it, that is if we were aware of what we were getting into when we incarnated? Were we frickin' bored? I seem to have always dealt with a push-pull regarding material of this nature and spiritual pursuit. Kinda like standing at the edge of the diving board.Yes..no... yes...no!I don't think I am the only one. But, for me I tend take info and chew on it and see where it takes me. Also, if I am reluctant to post it is sometimes due to having strong reaction. I have moments of peace and understanding and then I am a basket case and can't concentrate. This last stuff has definitely been powerful in it's impact. I just don't flow like the kitty. But, on a positive note, I could learn.

These are some of what my thoughts have been the past two days, and as well at other times. I have also comically wondered if I'm like some kind of "cosmic gamer" having entered into the most impossible of game boards, like a way messed up maze, and whoever figures it out first gets to "win". Some other of the harder aspects to deal with recently were--

1. Where in the hell were my parents when all the "shitty stuff" was happening to me as a kid? Where was their wisdom when I was left in the care of grown men, sailors, as my babysitter when I was a little girl?  This is an ugly one, and worked real good for creating a "flow".  If feels good to finally look at it, address it, and clear it out.

2. Given the likely possiblity that my physical and etheric body have been tinkered with, then... just who the hell am I?  Am I a "real" person. Am I genuine, or just contrived. And having to ask questions like this is also enough to make anyone weep, and loudly.  Thank Goddess I have a rock solid and interested in the outcome core being, or I don't know what would've happened to me at a few different points the past two days. And as well, two dear friends, both of whom (oh too funny again, I at first wrote "both of home" instead of "whom") have been on or are NR members "held my hand" through the process.  One of them furiously IMing with me at 4AM my time. They each helped me to hold onto the notion that I am an authentic being, even if I've been mucked around with.

  Do you need a pinch?  You know, one of those pinches that tells you whether your dreaming or not? 

I'm just joking Brother/Man, I don't think I could pinch you to hurt you even if it was in your best interest.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
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If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

I have some responses to this, but gotte go. Thank you all. Later!

Let us remember time is simultaneuos. So all messings around are actually happening in the now. What is this shadow I feel over my shoulder? Oh my God! It is a 4D chocolate eclair!

Oh man thook!  I'm remote viewing your auric field to see what's over your shoulder... it's one monster organic pork rin'... whoa Brother/Man... duuuuck... right now!

Shoo-whew!  You must've picked up on me psychically, you ducked just in time!  Boy, but that was close!

!

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

Here's an interesting link... that's on topic.

http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/lammer2.htm#toc

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.

lyra,

I'm telling ya!  On the heels of the past week reading his stuff is pulling together a lot of memories/occurances in a way that actually makes sense to me, and I just can't believe it!!  Will wonders ever cease!!

It finally makes some kind of sense now with all the pieces coming together; though sense as in: some questionable "puzzle pieces" (i.e., humans and grays both being perps, along with other issues/pieces), pieces I couldn't see fitting together before because of their "form", are now layed out before me creating a complete picture. And I can look at the picture objectively.  Whereas making sense of it subjectively cannot yet be focused on as objectively... if that's even possible, but I do feel encouraged that it can be possible.

I'll have to dig and explore how in the bigger picture this can all become absolutely sensical. I fall back on the old questions, though rhetorically, "Where is the Christian God in all of this?  Where is Buddha, Allah, Christ, etc. in all of this mess?"  "Where in THE HELL is my Higher Self in all of this????"  I know I'm not alone in asking these questions, they're questions that have been asked infinitisimal times.  And I also don't mean to be disrespecting any of the aforementioned spirits/people, but these are very real human questions!  I see they are and have been asked on this forum board before for one reason or the other, not just about this subject matter alone.

lyra, and any others that can comment, since you've "read the book" and have surely thought about it, can you even see a bigger picture and make sense of it yourself?

I hope it isn't too personal of a question to ask, but what gets you through your day? 

At what point do your thoughts become organized enough to function like a "normal" human being? I ask this question this way hoping to avoid a blanket response of "I do it just because I have to", something I myself have said many times over. Although if that's where you're at too, then that's all you could share.

I ask these questions of you because you've openly discussed some instances in your life of MILAB and alien agenda abuction... and also because of your "picking up the slack" comment.

I've tried before to see the bigger picture as "Everything happens for a reason" and "I agreed to this experience before I ever came to life, sooooo...", with FAITHFUL acceptance of those notions (and this may very well be the bottom line regarding the topic material as my core being instinct tells me), but if I don't challenge myself now given I have surmounting questions about my current belief system and this subject matter (heavy sigh... and even further) just because I won't know what to "believe in" then (and this would be the "brick wall", the growth impediment I think I'm experiencing), then I may as well be just as blind as one who is led by the false precepts of organized religion.  I'd just be a sheeple of a different FRE... LOL!!!

You know, it's funny because I did all those jigsaw puzzles the beginning of this month because I knew I needed to focus... it must've made for good practice!  And last night I just had to have a new one, and I bought a bigger and harder jigsaw puzzle (Snicker! Snort! Though not as hard as the one I had in my other hand, a round fractal one) to, well, challenge myself. hehehe.... I wonder what this focus will bring to me?

manyeagles,

I may have to get out my six pack of "Cling-on Begone" hairspray for this one!

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
------
If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.