.. that's when he just stared at me in this sad way, like he felt sorry for me.  And he said, "That's because this isn't real Carissa.  None of this is real."   He truly believed what he was saying.  That None of This is Real.  And he looked like he felt sorry for me for still being clueless about the nature of my own supposed reality, sad for how in denial and lost I was to what was happening here.

Lyra: Did your brother ever elaborate any deeper on his understanding of reality, specifically why this isn't real?  I am personally getting visions that are very confounding, I'm trying to understand what I am seeing.

I almost included that anecdote in my book, as it happened during the same time period I had the "hallucination" where I suddenly saw myself wandering around in a (drugged? tranced out?) daze in a government looking facility that reminded me of the NORAD facility in the movie "War Games."   The metal grating on the walkways and stairs, the rails, the big facility all around with no windows.

huh, that's weird..... I had a similar dream when I was in law school. Except in  my dream I was walking those metal gangways with hundreds of other people. Families. I had the vague sense they were splitting families apart but mine was still with me. We had to cross a bridge at one point over these huge machines and at an unexpected point one of them would close on your legs like a bear-trap. This ultimately happened to me in the dream. I woke up scared and upset because it felt so real.

........And it was around this same time that I woke up another night. Woke up. And heard this voice counting  down numbers in my ear.:o I froze and my eyes were wide open because I could literally hear what sounded like this deep male voice in a conscious state accompanied by static:(

I don't think it probably started this way.  We probably inserted into this illusion long ago as a vacation, or for fun, but once we thought we were here, we basically were because thats what we believed,and then all they had to do was change the illusion to cause us to trap ourselves.
They must have us trapped in beds because the beds are immobile.  It makes us much easier to locate then if we were roaming around free.  So some of us must be trapped in beds in a first reality, so that they can use those bodies to drain our energy, and then we are free to roam in the second layer of illusion.  We are not totally free here though because then we might get the bright idea that we are in fact free and inadvertently free ourselves.  I learned on Ayahausca that our concept here of complexity is a joke.  My expression there I was simultaneously experiencing 6 or so realities at once all together, and the only way I found my way back to myself was through the drumming of our shaman.

That first part's so true.  You're on the money there. Where did you have your Ayahuasca experience?

Then there's the matter of the hospital beds.  This is the part of the article that made me sit up and take notice, (besides the part about "I'm already dead.")  But back around the summer or early fall of 2000 while roommating with my brother I had a strange "halluncination" one night while resting in my bed.  I was suddenly in another bed - and I was in a coma.  My mind was awake and could hear what was going on in the room around me, but I was unable to wake up into full consciousness.  I could feel the way it feels to be in a coma, in some room - hospital room? - surrounded by people.  When I ran this by my brother he nodded with knowing and said he'd experienced that too.

This is all so interesting to me about nothing being real and you know how many say that this world is illusory in whatever respect. Your hospital beds references reminded me of one of the _only_ similar dreams I've ever remembered having so I thought I'd post it again here for the sake of matching relevancies.

http://forum.noblerealms.org/viewtopic. … 292#p43292

Good lord, Lyra!  I don't think I WILL be seeing that movie, like ever!  Thanks for the heads up, 'cause I can just see that traumatizing me after having something similar happen.   

*Note to self:  do NOT rent The Island*

Actually it's not as bad as it seems...you don't see gore or anything.  What you described sounds far more traumatic.  That would freak me out to have experienced something like that.  !!  But I can totally understand not wanting to see something even remotely similar after going through what you went through.  I still think "The Island" is a great movie because of the themes.  Clones that live in a regimented utopian society, kept under control with hefty doses of mind control, implanted fake memories and a holographic projection that gives them a false view of the supposed outside world.  Then the anomoly who begins questioning his reality and sensing that something is wrong and starts poking around, stumbling onto the shocking truth.  It combines elements from Logan's Run, The Matrix, Dark City, Cypher (a little known movie that I also recommend..... http://imdb.com/title/tt0284978/ ) The Truman Show, Soylent Green, They Live, and The Thirteenth Floor.

*Note to self:  do NOT rent The Island*

It's creepy to  me, too, Lyra.  I'm sure I've probably written about this but... when I was 23 I dreamed of running (groggily, of course) down hospital corridors from the Greys.  They had slit my scalp from ear to ear, so I had to actually PULL MY FACE UP LIKE A MASK so I could see where I was going!  At one point, they cornered me, and I could feel this real surprise, like !!!!! coming from them.  I lost consciousness soon after that, but only when there were about 8 or 9 of them surrounding me.

That's horrible!  !!!!!!  Seriously.  But you know what that reminded me of when I read it?  The movie "The Island."  Have you seen it?   It's really good actually, I do a write up for it on my website in the movies section, under "Other Interesting Movies."  But there's a scene where one of the clones of a famous football player out in the real world is on the operating table.  It's his time to go, as his real world counterpart needs the organs.  (he doesn't know this of course...he's been lied to and told that he "won the lottery" and is "going to the island."  So he has no clue.)   But being as strong as he is, he doesn't stay under.  So after they saw through his chest plate bone he wakes up...then realizes what's really happening.  Jumps off the operating table, fueled by adrenaline, and takes off down the hall, with tubes hanging out of him, half cut open, going beserk, trying to get away.  They catch him and drag him back, as he's screaming "I wanna LIVE!! I wanna LIVE!"  It's a sad scene, but that's what your story totally reminded me of when I read it. 

On an unrelated side note, "The Island" is a sci-fi movie worth seeing.  It's themes would be of great interest to many NR'ers, I'm sure.

I don't think it probably started this way.  We probably inserted into this illusion long ago as a vacation, or for fun, but once we thought we were here, we basically were because thats what we believed, and then all they had to do was change the illusion to cause us to trap ourselves. 

They must have us trapped in beds because the beds are immobile.  It makes us much easier to locate then if we were roaming around free.  So some of us must be trapped in beds in a first reality, so that they can use those bodies to drain our energy, and then we are free to roam in the second layer of illusion.  We are not totally free here though because then we might get the bright idea that we are in fact free and inadvertently free ourselves.  I learned on Ayahausca that our concept here of complexity is a joke.  My expression there I was simultaneously experiencing 6 or so realities at once all together, and the only way I found my way back to myself was through the drumming of our shaman.  But I was literally overwhelmed by these multiple realities asking which one is real, it was impossible to know, and even more confusing.  I have trouble comprehending one reality now you throw 6 or more at me! 

Anyway, I think this is a battle of minds.  I think they will kill our first level body (the one on the bed) whenever we achieved this level of awareness if they could.  They would not allow us to threaten the rest of their livestock with the disease of free thought.

Do you think these kids are just purely mental?  Or actually mind controlled?  Or both?  I think it's both.  I think they're mind controlled and so some of what they're saying is actually accurate, and that yeah, they probably aren't lying when they say they should be dead. Reanimation is apparently pretty easy for "stuff" to swing.

No, I don't think they're purely mental. I really think things now happen on a 3rd density level and a 4th density one, or it could even be seen as parallel realities. Somewhere in the other dimension/reality whatever you want to call it. People are being tampered with in spiritual ways. These young people are victims of the 4th density agents-so to speak. In some way their astral bodies or their souls have been messed with and this is the result.

I agree with you Lyra that its probably happening concurrently in 3rd density  to their real bodies as well, but its not really necessary since the result is the same: A scrambled person who doesn't "fit in" and who swears things go bump in the night which torment them. They carry out their mission and no one in the 'real world' believes their reason for doing it anyway.

When you talked about your brother doing that class report I couldn't help but remember the video and song by Pearl Jam "Jeremy." When Columbine took place I had an inkling-even though I wasn't fully awake at 15-that this video was eerily prescient.

No, something is definately going on on another plane.

Lono wrote:

So, if we put this together, we have certain families which may or may not be hidden bloodline, with key "patriarchs" of the families striking deals with hyperdimensional and/ or government agencies.  This gives them a small measure of so-called power and position in exchange for allowing "stuff" to tinker with their close and distant relatives.

Lono I think its true that TPTB elite work with  these 4th density creatures hand in hand. There's some sort of an exchange going on between them. And you know what? It might even be unconsciously agreed to, at least at a 3rd density level. Perhaps even something that's taken place throughout the incarnational life of someone's soul, to work with these beings and get perks in the 3rd density. I wonder if there's a price to pay at some point?

The funny thing is that the hospital was the one my great-uncle owns, and which I lived within less than a mile of when I was 6.  It was his house we were living actually, and it felt like it was in the country despite being so close to town.  This was when the weird stuff started going on.  Not too long ago, I dreamed that same great-uncle had gone crazy and was ranting and raving about how "We're Rockefellers, dammit!  Do you here me?  Rockefellers!"  In the dream I was like, "Oh, we're bloodline, huh?  Then how come you're just a small-town doctor, and none of us are wealthy?  Are they ashamed of us? "  I was just taunting him about that because he obviously thought he should be more important than he is. 

So, if we put this together, we have certain families which may or may not be hidden bloodline, with key "patriarchs" of the families striking deals with hyperdimensional and/ or government agencies.  This gives them a small measure of so-called power and position in exchange for allowing "stuff" to tinker with their close and distant relatives.  None of this is new, of course, and it's not exactly the direction this thread started in, but I do feel it's related.  So what you do is you look for family members that have 'risen above their stations' in a way that could be suspicious.  Cho's parents may not have been living large, but they were business owners, living the American immigrant's dream.  Hmmm...

Are we really in hospital beds?  No, I don't think so.  These are probably memories of hyperdimensional activities or even ones in which we were physically taken at some point.  But what better way to control someone than to make them think it's all hopeless-- that they should be dead or already are, and that their bodies are at the mercy of some sterile clinician in some inaccessible place?

As far as school shooters go - and this was his sociopathic/disassociative, programmed side - when it came to Columbine, let's just put it this way - he certainly didn't think what they did was wrong.  In fact he gave a report in one of his classes defending Dylan/Eric's stance and view on the world, in order to be obnoxious and provoke the class and teacher out of their stupor.  He said when he was done the class was just in shocked silence.   Yup, that got their attention, they were sitting at full attention now.  ! 

The first time he watched "The Matrix" with me on VHS after moving to California I turned to him as the credits rolled, to see what he thought of it all.  He was just frowning at the screen and didn't say anything for a short bit, then finally said, "It's a lot closer to the truth than people realize."  Then got up and walked off. 

Then there's the matter of the hospital beds.  This is the part of the article that made me sit up and take notice, (besides the part about "I'm already dead.")  But back around the summer or early fall of 2000 while roommating with my brother I had a strange "halluncination" one night while resting in my bed.  I was suddenly in another bed - and I was in a coma.  My mind was awake and could hear what was going on in the room around me, but I was unable to wake up into full consciousness.  I could feel the way it feels to be in a coma, in some room - hospital room? - surrounded by people.  When I ran this by my brother he nodded with knowing and said he'd experienced that too. 

!

I almost included that anecdote in my book, as it happened during the same time period I had the "hallucination" where I suddenly saw myself wandering around in a (drugged? tranced out?) daze in a government looking facility that reminded me of the NORAD facility in the movie "War Games."   The metal grating on the walkways and stairs, the rails, the big facility all around with no windows.  I was roaming about in that drugged/tranced daze, the same way I've "dreamed" a couple of times that I was wandering around in a drugged/trance daze through hospital hallways. 

Later on during the last time I'd see him in life in Portland, Oregon, he'd been arrested, and I'd left him in jail, refusing to bail him out.  I figured...he's got the "thems" in his life?   And they care about him so much?  Let them bail him out.  Let's see their handiwork.  Sure enough...he was mysteriously released, despite having been busted red handed breaking into a place with stolen goods on him from a previous burglery, and fighting back against the cops, ("assaulting an officer" and "resisting arrest.")   So he's mysteriously let out of jail and shows up where I'm staying at the time at 11:44 p.m.   I went outside to talk to him since he wasn't allowed in anymore, and I finally realize after about a half an hour of talking to him....wait a minute.....how did you get here??  The jail is 18 miles away.  He has no car.  No money.  No contacts.  It's 20-something degrees out (F, not C!)  How did he get from there to here in this weather, at night??  How did he even find his way here?   

When I asked him that, he went blank.  "I don't know, Carissa."  He honestly didn't know how he'd gotten there.  One minute he was being mysteriously released from the jail, the next....he was at the bottom of the hill where I was staying, with no in-between.   No memories.   And he certainly didn't look like he'd walked for 18+ miles.  I was flipping out about that, and then I myself realized I'd been standing out in 22 degree weather for over a half an hour with only a t-shirt, sweat pants and socks on and hadn't felt the cold at all in that entire time, and that's when he just stared at me in this sad way, like he felt sorry for me.  And he said, "That's because this isn't real Carissa.  None of this is real."   He truly believed what he was saying.  That None of This is Real.  And he looked like he felt sorry for me for still being clueless about the nature of my own supposed reality, sad for how in denial and lost I was to what was happening here.

Anyway, with regards to the original article, what do you think is going on there Shoogie?  (Or anybody can answer, whoever has an opinion.)  Do you think these kids are just purely mental?  Or actually mind controlled?  Or both?  I think it's both.  I think they're mind controlled and so some of what they're saying is actually accurate, and that yeah, they probably aren't lying when they say they should be dead.  Reanimation is apparently pretty easy for "stuff" to swing.  But the fact that they're being tampered with so badly also makes them crazy and gives them delusions.  So there's a lot of truth mixed up with some crazy delusion.  They're just being screwed with every which way.   That's how it was with my brother, anyway.

http://forum.noblerealms.org/viewtopic.php?id=4817