ermolai wrote:While most of these dreams have been putting me in situations to make me understand a particular truth (or making me watch movies / play games), more and more I've got this kind of testing setting you're talking about, I don't remember something like a classroom in particular but there was for sure some kind of "teacher" mentoring me (in a very compassionate and respectful way). I don't clearly remember other "pupils" but this is possible.
Well, as I said, I didn't and don't remember being in a classroom, it's what came after the supposed classroom that led me to believe there was indeed testing just have taken place. I did remember from one of the first testing "dreams" that I had papers and a pencil in my hand, and the others that were outside with me came over to me and asked me, "How did you know to answer that question like that?" This making me retrospectively think, then and now, there was some kind of oral questioning/testing taking place. As I was sitting there in a "stupor," trying to orient myself (that "How'd I get here? thing), it seemed and seems odd to me that for all appearances, should anybody have asked me a question like that? I looked really perplexed, I certainly did not look like a vessel of knowledge . I don't remember what I answered, or if I even did have an answer for that matter. After having a few of the testing interactions it became clear that this was indeed what was happening, even if I couldn't remember a classroom. Clearly, that information is not for public perusal, otherwise we'd remember everything.
Actually, I do remember sitting in front of monitors viewing "stuff," but this was probably nine or ten years ago. One time I was in a huge room, like an auditorium, viewing something on a monitor and there were literally hundreds of others milling around and viewing monitors. I have talked to quite a few people who have experienced this monitor viewing, exactly as you've described.
As for your only remembering a mentor, and my only remembering others who were "in the same boat" as I... go figure. No matter whom was around me I never felt even a snafu of anything but cooperation from others.
ermolai wrote:Totally. A great clarity, focus and confidence in what had to be done, in the overall truth. As if the whole insecurities of the ego and illusions of the Matrix were gone...? I wish my "waking reality" was that clear
Even though you haven't asked a question here I've just got to comment, and I'm sitting here just 'a gigglin' (or at least I was the first time I wrote this post... Snicker! Snort! ). A knee-jerk reaction to this would be, "Wish in one hand, :x in the other....," I'm sure you know the rest, but that alone would not be an awareness-friendly response, especially since you didn't ask.
ermolai, if this is what you really want compadre, make it so! But aren't you already "fairly" aware?
Astrologically speaking, my chart indicates that I have a strong proclivity to intuitiveness because I was born on a date and at a time that makes me a quadruple Scorpio with a Pisces moon, among other factors. Yet, if it weren't for stretching myself to the nth degree, and pushing real hard to understand what I didn't know how to understand, I don't think the awareness of my reality would be as clear as you think it is... and thank you for your supportive and kind words here, I do appreciate this.
Though I've also wish-crafted up one side of a day and then back down another about gaining awareness, and with a proclivity for intuition or not, my "drive" to be "more than this" was what made my awareness what it is today, it didn't just drop into my lap... and don't let my assured words parlay you falsely, I no doubt have the greatest part of awareness, in its full nature, to learn of. I'm sorry, I'm kind of a "stinker" about awareness, I feel very protective of it, like it's a scarce resource. For me there is not one other commodity on the planet that is more precious, no matter what we're told we're to hold dear by whatever infrastructure functions to do so. They can keep their "mother lode" of gold, I'd rather have just one ounce of awareness any day. Sure, a pot a gold would make survival much less complicated, but it's awareness that makes us to thrive.
I happened to see a clip of Drew Barrymore on The David Letterman Show, and I don't know if this is her own pearl of wisdom, or if she adopted it, but the words she spoke were liberating--
"Expectation is the mother of deformity."
I also want to add here, at least a little bit on the lighter side, but not much. My tongue is buried deeply in my cheek and I've got a big ole grin on my face when I write this--
"Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it."
Awareness "wranglin'," in the 3D landscape, is a sharp pointed and two-edged sword to "ride." I've had to thrash through the thicket that is the "trees" before I ever even caught a glimmer of a realization that there is indeed a "forest," and that it's nothing like the trees. There have been some really hard times, rough and tumble moments and days, the thicket all around me so dense I was completely in the dark... and I experienced King Kong sized growing pains, if you will. There have been times I have shaken like a rippin' earthquake in the wake of growth, pleading for it to stop because in so many ways it hurt so damn much, and could be so freakin' frightening.... but, alas, I asked for it and I got it, with all of its unglamouressness and consequences, as well its moments of beauty. I write all this not because I think you don't already know this, and really don't know if you do, but just in case you don't, I'm thinking you really would want to know... take into account this as you wish to have a clear "waking reality" (to be forewarned is to be forearmed)--
Even if it was really, really, really wanted, like one thought their very sanity depended on it, there's rarely, maybe never, the opportunity for anyone of us who do wake up, like, all the way, to just go back to "sleep" because we're sick and tired of and with it, because we've found it isn't as much fun as we thought it would be. The desire for awareness, once called for and answered, seems to be immutable in and of itself... we just be-come people who make it through the "trees," or people who eventually end up stricken with emotional disabilities, out of breath, and can no longer continue the journey to the "forest," at least for the time being. Shazaam! I've gasped for breath more than once myself.
I feel like I need to add the obligatory disclaimer here: But, then again, this is just my opinion. My two cents worth... maybe a nickels worth, huh?.
Ha! I bet if you would've known you were going to get something resembling a lecture, though it really wasn't meant that way, you wouldn't have made that wish written in black and white! I hope no offense is taken here as you didn't ask for my input.
ermolai wrote:I thought these "dreams" were just a way to integrate lessons more deeply and accelerate personal evolution but the idea of "classrooms" is changing the perspective quite a lot.
Maybe they are just thus, I'm trying to figure it out also, and have been for 2.5 years! I've only, until now, not had someone else to discuss this with.
ermolai wrote:Like I said I don't clearly remember other "students", but it makes no doubt there was "mentors" assisting me in recent dreams... (maybe you? )
How did I know you were going to say this? HA! I have to tell you, from where I sit here, it's you who is the teacher. I don't know that I ever would've made a post as you did, even given how I've searched around for someone who understands about the "interactions," the thought may never have crossed my mind to do so here. Because you've done so, a whole new avenue has opened for me and its required me to be thoughtful, and I have you to thank for the opening and opportunity to exercise my mind, body, and spirit, my awareness.
I'm going to share something of myself here that is very personal, even sacred. I suppose I'm a little concerned about doing so, because it's pretty "woo-woo," but why clam up now, eh?
Last year, during the summer, my spiritual/energetic Master teacher and guide, a Near Easterner, and a big fan of Buddha I might add, integrated with me (actually, all together I've experienced four integrations/mergings in the last year. It's been one heck of a year!) When he integrated with me I was filled with a knowing of what real, or more real, unconditional love is, and for the most part it's not like what "New Agers" think it is. Unconditional love is not frivolous, it doesn't waste energy. I would not be one to join a "prayer group" praying that Bush gains some enlightenment, working a force against his nature because I don't like him and what he stands for, and then call it an act of "unconditional love," because the truth is it's really manipulation. It has nothing to do with STO sharing from the heart center, the healing center.
The last words the Master "said" to me before he integrated were--
"Please, you must share, it's what humans don't share that keeps them divisible."
Sheesh! I still get choked up to think of what he said. Thanks to you I've learned how I'm a little less "divided" today, forever a little more indivisible... and in my book that would be mentoring for sure.
ermolai wrote:Is that a way for the positive forces to help us? To counterbalance the abductions?
Honestly, I don't feel qualified to answer this question the way it's posed... maybe it's both, eh? Positive (STO) and negative (STS) as interceding forces even though polarized, eh? Given that if this is a whole or "Oneness," collective process rather than an "one or the other" dualistic process, what seems to really matter, at least for me, is whether or not the interaction is "appropriate." It's taken a concerted effort from and on my behalf over the span of my lifetime/s to know just what is appropriate, and it very well may be I've still the greater part of this to learn. I think whether we're having dreams, or OBE's, or what I've called "interactions," there's always some other reason for such to be so... and could I be anymore noncommittal here? I hope so. Somewhere along my soul, or energetic, evolutionary pathway I was "hard pressed," or heavily "impressed" with the idea that I had to "think" as I never had before, in more ways other than what we are "told" we may think "inside the box," that without this skill I would be forever caged/unchanged. I was impressed urgently with the idea that the "status quo" way of living was really no way to make a "life," or was in so very few ways going to empower me to "blow this Popsicle stand." I had to align myself, through choice, to the idea that "anything is possible" just to balance out what I desired to know of awareness... all of it, against the odds, and from there I've learned to discern what is appropriate based on all those experiences that bring me to this very one moment.
Now, for "the end." I saved this for last for a reason... DOH!, besides the obvious reason. For this moment, for everything I have gathered up in my "consciousness backpack" I feel compelled to always ask only two questions of any and all interactions. The first is--
Who is served?
For me it just about doesn't matter anymore who is doing the "serving" as long as the end result is a "service to all"... the rest of "them," those serving the self, I "see" how they are "spinning their own wheels" without "greasing up," and I do believe sooner or later there will be a "seizing" of their own action. Period. Not to long ago I would've "choked" on those words and my next question--how else have I had to learn to "see the forest for the trees," or to get somewhere beyond "the rainbow," or to rattle the Matrix cage like a genetic animal with a consciousness proclivity to grow in all directions, if it were not for the divergence of experiences that weave the fabric of life as we know it? Even given how it has irked me to no end that I have been abducted multiple times, and that I was a helpless child when most of it happened, I'm not in a position to "Judge" what is right or wrong, my judgment will serve no greater purpose, it won't engender a "sea" change at any energetic level. I can only discern, at my inherent best, whether or not I want to have something to do with the "matter" at hand.
It is my second query that has been my bane.
To what end is this?
When I finished my first post to you I sat for a moment and volleyed with my "consciousness"... to what end is this? To what end is awareness? Is there a quota of experiences and a quantifiable level of energy that is required to bring about an end, or more pointedly, a complete and total shift of consciousness, physicality and all? A question I've asked again, and again, and then again... to what end is this? You know what I've "gotten back" for my howlin' questioning through the years? "You'll see"... that was yesterdays "answer." I've also heard, "Up to you" and "You'll have to wait and see" "It would be a violation of Freewill to tell you this" "Please let go of it!"
When I read your words here I had a "light bulb" moment--
emorlai wrote:Do you mean that you had no idea where you were going / what you were learning until the end?
I quickly reacted, "Oh, there is no end to it ermolai..." I stopped dead in my tracks, I virtually jumped for joy. "To what end is this?" is immaterial, because there just isn't an end. Sigh! Well that's a load off, I won't be torturing myself with that inane question again!
As you can see this post has been somewhat of a journey for me, I ended up writing more than what I had lost when my computer went down.
I guess I'll put on some Pink Floyd and cook some breakfast now. Life goes on, no matter where our heads are at.
Any thoughts? Snicker! Snicker! Snort! Snort! and one Chuckle! for good measure.
--V
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we might as well dance.
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If you spin around on your chair really fast, things around here will make a lot more sense.