Topic: Now I'm just pissed off.

Excuse the title. But I've really had enough of this. Enough of What? Everything spiritual/newage/quantum physics and whatever.

Anyone here ever read "the handbook of the new paradigm"? I figured out that supposedly the pleiadians(sp?) contacted George Green to write this book. I did not know this even after I stopped considering the pleiadians as "STO". (video link: … amp;hl=en) Stuart Wilde gave me the idea that aliens are not very nice at all... and since this George Green guy really does say he's talking to aliens then I'm not reading his material (or any pleiadian material).

I had just read a couple days ago that the pleiadians were actually some kinda disinformation from some US satellite or some crap too lol. On top of that the only material that I hadn't lost my trust in (not a good way to put it) was that handbook, because I believed that it was actually true for awhile and not disinfo. I also used to believe only a couple of months ago in the whole YCYOR thing, now I don't know what the hell is going on because who/what can I trust? I mean I can't pray, it might be some other entity than who I am praying to! I don't feel like that there is a single source of information out there that is either helpful or trustworthy. I know that's a little much but I kinda just wish I believed what I used to awhile ago... that you can manifest your desires, that it's a perfectly natural thing to do, and that there is a benevolent cosmic force out there that supports me/humanity, and maybe that "we are all one". Basically that I can be safe and happy here on this planet without having to be concerned about no damn NWO or chemtrails, which I see a lot of now. It's just so ridiculous! Somebody must know what I mean, so tell me what you believe, what's true for you? (note: I wrote this in a very anxious/agitated state of mind)

2 (edited by Book 2007-11-29 20:36:46)

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

Just a quick response. I'm to the point where everything is just a sales pitch. Buy the DVD, book, CD to learn about the alternate history, conspiracy, true spirituality. Debunk one, get disapointed, and then another one pops up, speaks with authority and sells more junk. It's to the point now that I look at everything now as "what are they trying to sell." And I mean everything news, work, web sights, chuch, people......

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

I hereby officially declare the last week of November NR Gets Pissed Off At Everything Week! big_smile

Yes, I read the Handbook for the New Paradigm. Logic check is in order: that someone says he is contact with the Pleiadeans does not necessarily make it so. It could be something pretending to be Pleiadeans. It could be negative Pleiadeans pretending to be the positive ones. It could be remotely broadcast mind control signals from the guvmint. Or it could be someone simply attaching a hot New Age buzzword to his own writings just because it is politically correct and trendy to do so. Or it could be, like you suggested, the actual real Pleiadeans except they are not as cool and honest as we'd like them to be.

But considering how popular it is to lie and say you're being contacted by the P's, or be delusional and think mere subconscious murmurs are the P's, or to become a knowing or unwitting mouthpiece for a disinfo psyops operation -- the chances are slim that the real Pleiadeans (if there are any) deserve the blame for what is more likely being done in their name by charlatans and impostors.

Acquiring fringe knowledge is like digging for diamonds in a mine field.

4 (edited by nexus 2007-11-30 00:04:13)

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

Hi Dante 3214.  Maybe you should have titled your thread  "What doesn't piss me off"  and left your first post blank.  Then we'd getcha!

But really i know there's so much dribble around.  The forrest is getting denser with every-comer trying to twist you for a buck or your soul or whatever.  An avalanche of BS is ascending all at once from the bottomless pit of BS in a frantic effort to abort our spiritual rebirth.  These efforts always contain a lot of truth but you get steered down a rabbit hole everytime.   All they have to do is get us into BS tangents which waste the short opportunity we have in this life to find truth and focus on what is important for the victory.  If they can guide you to the portal of death in a state of ignorance and confusion they win because you will return to earth.  You'll be back oblivious to all but that which you have become.  It is not what you know [it get's forgotten in each new incarnation] but who and what you are that can be reawakened.  That is your 'money' in the bank... deposited from the past efforts you've applied to sorting the wheat from the chaff within yourself.

Those things you believed a little while ago Dante?  They're all true.  You resonated with all that because of who you are. Those basic truths have been elaborated on and added to truthfully in some places.  You just have to find them.

A couple of things i know. 

'Aliens' who tell us they travel around in mechanical devices [and those who pretend they do] can teach us nothing new about who we are, our origin and our destiny.  They rehash and distort the truth that has already been released by terrestrial spiritual teachers under the direction of the true spiritual hierarchy.  Yes the spiritual hierarchy exists and yes many hail from other systems in this universe.  No, they don't come here in UFOs because they simply do not need mechanical means of conveyance.  You can virtually write off the ones who say they do.

You can write off the 'space brothers'

You can write off the ones who say everything is neutral and that all information is helpfull.  BS is not helpfull at all.

You can write off the ones who give license to act in any way you please, suggesting that such "knowlege" is usefull and that there are no negative consequences here on earth or in the hereafter.

You can write off the ones who tell you the whole universe is a food chain and that 'Source' created you for food.

You can write off the idea that you'll be transported into a new timeline in a few years if your a good boy and accept their 'downloads'.    And good boys are the ones who believe everything they say.  These imposters are simply ingratiating themselves into a spiritual process that is already truly happening by the grace of forces far greater than themselves.  The spirit really is billowing through the material plane in a more than ordinary way and it is begining to awaken us.  And who takes the credit? 

You can write off the ones who suggest that the resurrection of our inherent power is dependent on unlocking extra DNA strands in the human genetic code.  The soul's vibrational oneness with inner spirit will grow these [inherent soul] faculties not some mechanical process dependent on aliens for it's activation.  The soul and spirit are not subject to bodily processes although the body can be very limiting absent a striving soul.    The fruit of this striving has to be proven rather than waiting for aliens to "download" the power and the glory of our true nature.

You can write off the ones who say that Jesus, Moses, Buddha etc are 'space brothers' who came in spacecraft and who activated 12 strands of DNA to gain their knowlege and power.  This idea is extremely appealling to modern seekers because higher consciousness gets "done" TO you rather than BY you.  Nevertheless it is a mechanical, spiritless lie. 

You can write off the ones who say... "If you are fighting the system you are acknowledging it's existence".  Yeah and?

If you do not acknowledge a problem you cannot solve it.  Ignoring a problem will not dissolve it.   Ignor-ance is not bliss but that is the toxic philosophy they peddle by subtly distorting the true philosophy of YCYOR.  They conveniently omit that both action and inaction create and re-inforce our environment on all levels.

Their implication is that only a dualistic mindset could possibly want to challenge the system.  How about these 'aliens' consider this...  If you are not defending just systems and challenging distorted systems, at least within your current capacity, then faulty systems will challenge you.  One way or another you cannot avoid the confrontation.  By being who you are you will be challenged.  You cannot become the embodiment of the christ consciousness in this world without being challenged by the false hierarchy and their systems.   The false hierarchy would have you surrender to their materialistic and philosophical systems without a peep.  They're designed to corral you into inaction and silence.  In their philosophies and systems they would render you impotent by capturing you in dualistic extremes.  Either mindless violence borne out of a victim consciousness.  Or inaction.  But challenging their systems does not necessarily mean that you are a victim of dualism.   Action can be accomplished in the christ- consciousness.  It doesn't have to be ego based.  The higher Self would claim all realms for the free expression of the soul.  This definately includes the physical realm.  It awaits a re- form- a[c]tion of the spirit.

Plow on Dante 3214.   Ask yoursef what you know for sure and proceed with courage and caution.

ps. Spot on Tom.

5 (edited by Khalil 2007-11-30 01:16:31)

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

I mean I can't pray, it might be some other entity than who I am praying to!

As for this, who to pray to, I was struggling with this as well.
I decided just to speak out loud anywhere, anytime I am alone, or kneel with eyes closed and arms in whatever position you deem comfortable and talk , with a picture in mind of a supreme, loving, caring conciousness , who has my best interests at heart and speak in a very casual , open manner, you know, from the heart.
Now I know this sounds alot like ordinary prayer but I'm talking about not doing this with the pre-disposition of praying to a biblical God but to who or whom really is our creator.
I don't know if you want to try this or have tried this?

I think that deep inside we know the answers to our own questions.
We need only listen to ourselves or to what is being told to us in order to obtain the goal set out for us here.
Do what it is your inner-self is telling you to do.

ps:I have always supposed ( and this is just me supposing), that higher beings who would have our best interests at heart would have no need for "physical modes of transport."

and Daisys first paragraph is gold.

6 (edited by Daisy 2007-11-30 01:18:42)

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

Dante, I know how you feel. I've been there. We all have. What I usually do is let go of all beliefs for a second, quieten my mind, and realise that endless thinking and worrying about what's true isn't helpful. After all, the present moment is all there is, and beliefs aren't necessary for being in the present - in fact they are often a hindrance to it. Does it matter to you RIGHT NOW whether chemtrails or the NWO exist? I'm not saying you should try to ignore these problems or bury your head in the sand, just that you can live your life with a background awareness of such issues without letting them dominate your thinking or feeling you need to know the absolute truth about everything, right now. Stay in the moment, remember.

Now, there are things that I believe to be true, based on my own intuitive feelings, but I am not strongly identified with my beliefs nor do I spend time worrying about whether they are true or not (although I am willing to question them and change them if need be) - I guess they just shape my actions and the way I view the world. Again though, are beliefs about external things really that important? I'm certainly not going to tell you what you should believe. Turn your attention inwards, focus on yourself. Work on yourself. Deal with external situations and circumstances as they arise, and act according to your current level of understanding. It will all fall into place.

When it comes to external sources of information, it's not so black and white that you can divide them into "true" and "not true", "helpful" and "unhelpful". I haven't found a source that is 100% true and don't think I've found any that are 100% untrue either (true/untrue according to my intuition & discernment). Usually there are a combination of both true and untrue ideas from the same source. Some sources contain more truth than others. What I've learnt is that reading different sources, and sometimes going through times of metaphysical doubt & confusion like you're experiencing, can actually be beneficial because it helps you sharpen your spiritual discernment and you end up a little wiser than you were before. So these things often have a purpose, not that it's obvious at the time.

Oh yeah, and if you're feeling totally confused and don't know what to believe, just accept it! Accept your confusion and unknowing-ness. It doesn't mean you're resigning yourself to remain in that state forever, it just means that you're surrendering for the moment and waiting for a higher truth to be revealed to you. It will be, if you are receptive to your inner wisdom.

Hope I've made some sense here. I tried to, but I feel like I've rambled on a bit. All the best to you.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

hey there!!

       Interesting topic someone has started here...Of course we are all pissed at something at the other that is the reason we are away from daily life of control and rules and trying to run our roots and make our way back to our higher selves that is the reason we are here on these forums but yeah we do even have misinformation with clues everywhere of what really resonates our situation. When we are true to ourselves and don't hold anything bad for others i believe that that one line of truth in thousand lies will get stuck in your mind and you will only remember that truth and if you read with an intent to control and hate and all that negativity you won't remember that one line of truth which hold the key to your situation but you will end up learning what you don't need to learn and land yourself in chaos. Infact, am soo pissed of at this stage but am in control of my whole self with all my actions. Herez, something i want to write about what am really pissed off about and what does one think....

Well, I am one of those cases who is going on extreme ways to find his existence and true love for the self and someone else who could offer him the same. I was born and raised in a vegetative conciousness I bent when asked i raised when i was asked. And I followed everything to the point of extreme which means extreme respect for anyone wether a man asking for money on the street or the one serving me food i gave everyone same amount of respect. What they gave me was what they got but then again I was too young to understand that I was being manipulated in every aspect of my life a war of two sides, a war of two believes, a war of religions. and when I was to come into my conciousness I will have to face the whole world to be truely myself and fight with not just my parents or the world the biggest fight was within me that I found. I cried my ass off to look for the truth and a reason for my suffering. I suffered soo much that I have been to all that could be defined.  And when I really got the answer it was one of those answers that will land you in a stream of confusion. Frist of all, dude just like you I really cannot trust anyone. I loved my mother to death but since i have realized how she always hit me subconciously and shit that love just faded away even tho! I forgive her and every entity that harmed me or wants to harm me but then again i lost my faith in people around me and untill now I have not come across a single person who could look into my eyes and speak to me the truth they all fear something i don't know what the hell it is. When they even show you love it will be to brain feed you and trigger it out of you to make you do stupidity with your will which they couldn't have done it unless the wore the skin of love. well, whats done is done and i seriously know from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my mind as i grasp my conciousness I have gone thru a lot and believe me when i say something like that you could see the internal smiles in everyone they are proud that they could bothered the shit out of you. Now, I want to write about my present frustration. I live with a joint family and I dont work as of now and am in India at this point. The problem is this that even your own mother is ready to switch timelines with you not just your mother, your father, your sister every other entity you come across they try to sell themselves. How can i say this well the date of births and how they always hit you subconciously using the concept and idea of greek philosophy of matrix language manipulation. They always try to trigger something in me or copy my acts and act like me to cheat my brain so that when i die they could swith the timeline and most of all i friggin understand that they can hear my thoughts and they always friggin know what am doing no matter what. Now i don't give a rat's ass wether you watch me or not i don't care but why try to manipulate my conciousness and stop me from being myself. But here something I firmly believe i am what I am there is not force that will change me except for the one who strengthens me. Now, thats something i stll ignore and live on now i need to work right but damn i don't have a friggin degree or higher qualifications which has to be certified. Now if I even do friggin work i get about 200 us dollars for friggin whole month 6 days a week and 12 hours a day. Its not even worth working but then again forget all this now the thing is its like the whole existence sometime goes against me when i try to meditate I go up on the terrace and sit quite then you will hear crows go by themselves in the middle of the night and then all of a sudden just when i start meditating there will be big horns of trains, cars and if not all that then something will fall from somehwere and a huge noise  will come out of the neighbourhood or someone will wake up at 3 in the morning or 2 am and will come out of his house just to shout and laugh on the phone. Dude, with all this going on I could only get one thing they are scared of something they really don't want my kundalinin awakening and me becoming a superhuman from what i am and they really don't want me to unite with my mind and soul and become my higher self. This is evident in everydays manipulation. I seriously feel like i live in a friggin movie where everything is being watched and shit and they always try to control you and take your soul. Most of all dude i can't even friggin dream everytime i dream anything good or go into spiritual realms someone at the other will wake me up. Its like they even friggin know what dreams you have.. what the hell is this tell me after going thru and knowing all this what one does think of a situation like this. Even tho! i go thru allt his i still keep a smile on my face and stand strong as who I am knowing everything i know of everyone around me. Most of all dude what really pisses me off is that they try to make me feel like a prophet and stuff. I mean I went to Goa in India to get away from family and stuff and I tried LSD and guess what happend I didn't just do LSD the whole day i didn't eat anything and drank like 6pack of beer and then I tried LSD for the very first time and I chewd that paper for like 30 minutes and what happend i was so frustrated dude i didn't care if i had died but then i started seeing everyone as me and i being so intoxicated i still managed to ride my motorcycle back to my guest house for a distance of 50 km in the rain. Now, I was asking god for answers and i was in a state of confusion and I knew who I was but i was looking for god and his answers and for some reason i stop at this grave yard and there was this huge lock with a huge number 7 on it and there were flowers at the gate I held on to the gate and was looking inside the grave yard at 11 in the night and there were crosses on the graves and I was calling on jesus christ and then i read on one of the grave it said " Jesus said to Martha "everytime somone will truely remember me I will be resurrected" and gues what for some reason i take out the keys out of my pocket and what do i see a number 7 keychain for the room at the lodge i was staying at and i just tried to open the lock of the grave yard and the key did fit in the lock but it didn't open lol and I knew it wouldn't i just tried. But then i went back to my lodge and about after 2 days I decided to eat at this place and yeah once again I tried LSD and I saw this portrait of the las Supper and i said to myself they always make me feel like him and am not going to sit and eat here but then I was too hungry and i was like okee i will eat but then i sit under the same portrait and eat and i seriously felt like i ws about to die but then i didn't die i was hallucinating and seeing angles and clouds and trumpets everwhere. This is just one of the incidents if I write down each and every synchronicity of how they have always made me feel like jesus christ to make me fall I will have to write like 100 more such things that are in my mind. Whats really worse is I have no memmory of what so ever of my past who i was and who i am. But one thing is still stuck in my mind I saw myself in everything like evey person iw as talking to was me but a different version of me and opposite of me. It seriously felt like the battle of the matrix between neo and the agent where Neo was one and everyone had converted into Agent smith or you may call him the Devil the whole land was ran by him and still they ran on his fingers and they were ready to slay me anytime. But I saw fear in their eyes they were slurring and i know this for a fact now that am not too far from what am going to achieve and i do not intent to harm anyone of these beings but they seriously have me binding myself in my own mind and trying every possible way to stop me from being myself. It just frustrates the hell out of me but then i can' loose control on simple thingsl ike this and i cna't be too vulnerable and therefore i make myself as void as possible on emotions and doing so i was killing her in my heart and its  just something that i can't decide what i want. I know that i have been offered everything that i could see and everything I have seen and am not saying with my eyes but on my mind where I have flattened every theory that rised to make me fall on my knees and when i tried to raise myself beyong limitaions and imaginations I found a GOD like conciousness in my limited human conciousness where am fighting with the whole world alone and not fighting to contorl anyone or hate anyone or take revenge but fighting to be truely myself and to truely love someone in my heart and my soul and for the truth. Infact, when i watched the movie 300 they also crucified him like jesus christ and that spear that hits him is the spear of destiny the one int he movie constantene and this is no mere coincidence that Keanu Reeves was the first hollywood actor that i would watch as my favourite actor when i first watched him in speed when i couldn't even speak english properly and he went on to play all these characters in the movies like johnny memanic, matrix, constantene. But yeah when i watched movie 300 they synchronicities the system will produce would be one of those that happend in the movie like how the wolf howls i saw it on the street while i was driving a open top car pulls right by me and the half breed dog howls like a wolf in that car looking at me then i went ot the lake where i will see those brids flying justl ike how they show in the movie. I mean the point is someone gave me this pot cookie when i would stop using any kind of drugs and he would talk to me in such a way that i would agree and eat a peice of it you see how vulnerable i was at then  and I felt like my head was about to blow off and i watched that movie with a severe psychic attack without awarness of its possibilities and how they created this for me was something stuck in my mind even infact i watched bewoulf where they know am really close to making her mine and how they produced this movie from the father side to show how evil feminity could be. Sometimes i feel like its pointless to keep typing and writing cuz everything tha happens in my life is like i cannot forget and when i sometimes dont want to think about all this things would come up to me from everywhere. Like right now how everyone is tlaking about christ conciousness and how i end up buying some traditions dress with a fleur de lis on its design like little things in life say soo much about who i am and i still fail to become truely myself. I try hard to meditate am disturbed i try hard to sleep and dream and become aware in my dream am awakened I ran away from America to India thinking atleast my parents would understand me and look into my heart and know that i don't carry any harm for anyone but no its is me in them and they are ready to do what ever possible to get me down and i feel like i have been grounded with no money and no place to go and meditate what seems like a colony of ants this city is. there is not a single place where i could go and meditate there is soo much noise and this city is soo vast that there are people everywhere and even if i end up finding one someone would come up to disturb me.. this is JUST BS. And who ever is running this world  is the most stupidest dum F**K i have witnessed who is so lost in his moranic acts that he keeps doing what he is doing realizing the fact that i have awakened to it.

Thanx if anyone reads this and yeah please if you do come to a conclusion ask yourself is it really you who is typing what you are typing or the information and the world that has been fed to your senses. Because I know am in all my sanity and if i do even recieve negative conclusions like i need a treatment or what not i still welcome it but he would need to recheck his own identity. But seriously, am really fed up of all these but at the same time i won't give up i die trying but i would never in my senses commit a suicide like the rest of the oblivion world.

" Love is the understanding and unspoken bond between you and the creator "

"Loving is an art that is the state of creation"

..........Lyrically am suppose to SHINE.........
..........I am the ONE that makes you  BLIND........
..........And am that darkness that lets you SHINE.........

8 (edited by Blue 2007-11-30 03:51:32)

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

Book wrote:

Just a quick response. I'm to the point where everything is just a sales pitch. Buy the DVD, book, CD to learn about the alternate history, conspiracy, true spirituality. Debunk one, get disapointed, and then another one pops up, speaks with authority and sells more junk. It's to the point now that I look at everything now as "what are they trying to sell." And I mean everything news, work, web sights, chuch, people......

I can really resonate with that message. Every time I seem to find an interesting-lead, it's always the-big-sell. Man I would have to be a millionaire, to go on all these courses and buy all the books, dvd's etc.  Yeah, I got the 'Handbook for the new paradigm', too.

EON, you really spoke from the heart there, hang-on-in-there, kid, I don't think there is that much longer to go.  My life is so full of confusion now, too, like all that I believe in is being questioned and tested, over-and-over again. It actually feels like a real battle-for-my-soul.

I mean I could prattle on about all the B-S that is going-on-in-my-life, right now, but that wouldn't help, other than to say that every thing I try to do, seems to turn-to-shit. Hitting a brick wall, everywhere. All I can do is is sit back and watch.

I had a great article from the Rio Sabe Loco site, which I posted, about breaking-out-of-the-cocoon, from the mush to the butterfly, but I then got the 'message' to not try to force my way out, to hang in, wait..  So I deleted the post. Now I can't even access the RSL site... It seemed so right, like, the-solution, but here's my HS (is-it-my-HS?) saying 'no-it-isn't', and my head is spinning again.

Thing is, I already agreed to turn-my-life-over-to-my-Higher-Self, and it's like my ego just will not have it, really kicking it's heels in. And that's a strange thing to say, isn't it?  My Ego is fighting against what I truly want-to-do-and-become ! WTF! 

For the first time I have-been-aware-of , my ego seems like a separate entity.

And I can't help thinking, that all the rest of the sheeple, they think we are nuts, and I'm beginning to think they may be right!.  They don't seem to be going through this MENTAL-ANGUISH, they are just laffing-and-joe-king and living 'normal-lives', without all this B-S.

I sure wish the governor would let a few more people in on our secret.

9 (edited by Blue 2007-11-30 04:28:21)

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

F*ck it !

Rio-Sabe-Loco wrote:

From the Mush Into the Butterfly

Can you give me some insight? I'm feeling discouraged, depressed, and very detached from everything. Why?

ost of you are feeling new things you've never felt before, so you're having to find an old label for a new thing that your brain is getting tired of trying to figure out. The brain says, “I can't compartmentalize this. I don't know where it goes. I don't know what it is; where can I shove it?” So it will take it and shove it into the old emotions.

Feel what you're calling your discontent. Go into it, don't be afraid of it. Amplify it. What is there? What are its components?

I don't know how to define physicality any more.

You can't define physicality any more, but do you know what that means? Isn't that what all of you have been trying to do, or at least say you're trying to do? You're all trying to move past the physical attitude while you're in the flesh. This is the insanity that ensues with it. Go into it some more.

It feels like there is no anchor in physicality and yet there is no way out and that I'm stuck, with no movement in a place that I don't like.

Okay, keep going into it. Take any one facet of those. Are you stuck? Or have you finally touched your freedom and you're scared to walk in your freedom? Follow the part that is scared. The one that says, “I'm stuck right here.” Find it.

I don't know where to go. Everything I see in physicality is not interesting, there is no focus for me here . . .

Um hum. Okay. What else?

I have no idea where my passion is.

Most on this plane don't ever have the faintest idea what passion is. Most of you, what you call passion is repressed anger that you've repressed so far that you can't let it out and say (angrily) “This is my passion!”

Your passion probably doesn't lie in the earth plane. Go in there and find out where your passion lies. Take the part that feels stuck. The part that says, “I'm stuck in this god forsaken place that I hate”. . . say that real loud inside and feel what comes up with it.

You're smiling!

I know!

That is not good for discontent!

Part of me wants to laugh!

That's what I want you to follow. Go into the part that wants to laugh—this will get you out of your game. Follow the laughter. Your entities aren't stuck any place. They are too unlimited. Go into the part that wants to laugh about it. Ask it if it is stuck.

It's telling me I'm free and I don't know it!

So your discontent is that you finally achieved the freedom you said you wanted your whole entire life, but now that you have it, you don't know what to do with it. So now what are you going to do with it? Ask the part that was laughing—that seems to be the part that knows what is going on. Find the part that is laughing. Whine at it and I want you to be melodramatic! Whine and cry your poor woes to the side of you that is laughing! Get into the “Woe is me. I'm so stuck. I'm so stuck. I don't know where I'm going to go.”

Try each of these on the part of you that is laughing. See the response. See if it laughs harder! Now take the, “I don't know where I'm going to go,” and see what its emotional reaction is. Now take, “I'm bored half to death.” What is its reaction?

Ask it to give you a feeling about your life. Let it just feel because it is not going to give you the direction in verbiage. Ask it to feel if it knows where it is going to take you. Ask it if it can let you feel the passion that it has for your life—which you think you don't like. What is it giving you?

The message is I have a grand life, but then there is another part of it that's just total confusion.

You're going to have confusion at first, if other people aren't running your lives! This is contradictory to what everybody thinks it's going to be. The stability for most of you comes when other people tell you how to be, what to do and how to act—that's what you call stability! The minute you break the circuitry and you have nobody sitting and telling you how to be, what to do, how to act—you feel chaotic. All of a sudden those ends of your circuitry that were attached to other people are frayed wires which don't know where to connect and stabilize.

I've always told you these two things. First, none of you like peace—and yet you have always said you want peace—but you'll hate it because it's boring. Second, you're going to hate your freedom. You could have freedom any minute you're willing to have it, but the psyche has to shift in order for you to have freedom. If it maintains a rigid definition of “Here is who I am, and here is what I do,” you'll never have freedom. As soon as it loosens its bounds on that, you feel chaotic and psychotic. The only thing that is wrong with you at that point is that you're in your freedom.

But is there a part of me that is ahead of my psyche?

Yes, otherwise you wouldn't find the part laughing at you! The part of you that is laughing is the part of you that already went ahead of you, made the road map and it sees the road clear and exactly where you're going to go, and so you are its hindsight. You know how you all laugh at hindsight? That is your future self—you're its hindsight and it is laughing at it!

There will be a day in another reality, after you leave this place, when all of you will sit around some big huge table, drinking your coffee or whatever you do Zenden's great Bar in the Sky big_smileand you'll sit and laugh about these adventures that you were so uptight about!

Will I still be here! . . . there's a part of me that wants to walk away from all of this.

From the planet, from everything?

From everything.

I know, but why? Many of you say, “I can push myself, I want to take advantage of all the energies coming in, I'll take it as far as I can go,” Then you end up where you are. That is your psyche cracking. You all have been through it before. You touched home. You finally touched you. You're so close that you touched it, but you can't find the doorknob because your nose is stuck on the door!

When it comes right down to it, a lot of you say, “Why in the hell am I here? Who put me here? I feel like I'm in a prison camp.” But there is another part of you that also knows you are intelligent. You wouldn't have done this journey if there wasn't a reason—or least you hope you're intelligent!

ou are touching your freedom. Freedom is the most frightening of all things. The only fear you will ever legitimately find is the fear of your own freedom because you're on an edge that asks, “Where are you going to go?” It says, “The whole universe is yours. Make a direction.” Then you sit here and say, “Okay, but these forty, fifty people that are telling me what to do. They're not telling me what to do right now so I don't know where to go!”

Take the void that you are feeling, the complacency or whatever you want to call it. Jump into it. Just take it right now and jump. Say, okay, I'm leaving. Do it right now. You're a god—you can do it. Build your intensities. I want you to get to the serious part—this will be fun for you. Get to the part of you that is so sick and tired of being on this stupid planet, with these stupid limitations. Take all of that frustration and say to yourself, “Okay, I'm a god. Right now where I sit, I'm going to end it.”

Do it with seriousness, and you'll have an experience with this, I promise. In this moment right now, call every force in your being. Say to yourself, “Right now where I sit, I don't have to go through a death process, I don't have to go through an ascension process, I can end it right now.” Pull all of your forces up, your frustration, your irritation at not liking where you are. Build them up and command your universe, right now, to get you the hell out of this place and do it with determination like you mean what you say. Don't question it. If you don't feel right about doing it, then don't do it—but don't question it. Don't go in there and say, “Well, am I doing this strong enough or not?” Go in there and use every ounce and every force of ummph you can come up with. Command you to get out of this place— now! Take it and explode your energy into it. The energy in your being, in your heart, explode it into that. Use your whole entire force. Use every energy you can get up right now to get you out of this. End it.

Now let your energy flow to your base seal and float up to the crown of your head and go with it. Drop the body. Let the next wave of energy come in behind it. Now command your psyche to be able to interpret the next wave of energy. Balance down.

Now feel where you're. Now feel you. What's going on inside there? Where is your vibration now? Let yourself see if you're through with your temper-tantrum and if a gentleness hasn't come over you.

See, whenever you're wanting to end something and get out of it, that tells you that there is something in your psyche that needs to be thrown out. That's the easiest way to look at. Your psyche is not going to sit there and scream and cry and nag and create discontent unless it is trying to motivate you into doing something.

When you get into that state, you wouldn't necessarily say you were suicidal, but you could be because you want out bad enough—but you're not going to really do it. So if you want, use the metaphor that, “Hey, I'm sitting here right now and I'm killing this, I'm causing death, I'm severing it,” and see if you're really that determined or not. Pull up every ounce and every bit of energy you have to end it. Feel yourself going into your brain and breaking the cord. Go back into it right now for a moment. Pull up your power, if you really want out. You have to go with a determination that you're going to actually sever your existence with physicality. On the other side, that's not really what is going to happen. You can rest easy with that, but you have to have the determination. Go into your brain. Your brain will show you where it is. There is a place in there. Just go in and break the cord. Go in. Find the cord. Break it, knowing that when you break it, death occurs. Break it. Break it. Did you break it?

I chopped the hell out of it!

Okay, now feel where you are. On one side you're going to be emotionally fatigued from what you just went through so that is not the feeling I'm looking for. Go beyond the emotional fatigue from what you just went through and feel where you and your body are now. What you effectively did is you told your brain to isolate the area of your brain that was your irritation. You told it to go into the part in your neuron system that was causing the problem and cut it off.You went in and chopped off your confusion. You actually severed the neuron that was causing it to fire. Now how is your body feeling—except for the emotional fatigue?

More of a gentle peacefulness there. But there is still an intensity in my solar-plexus to get out.

Then go in and use every ounce of that frustration. It wouldn't be there if you weren't going to use it. So rather than letting it keep nagging and irritating you for days, use it. Build it up and amplify it, exaggerate it as much as you can. If you can take it and pull the power in there, you can actually blow a hole right through your brain and into another reality. When I say blow a hole in your brain you'll think, “Whoa, that sounds dangerous!” These are just microscopic holes, but it actually will break through the membrane in such a way that you'll touch what you're crying to reach. So use it. Use it and bring it up in a force so powerful that you bring it up and you can explode it. Your determination is that you want out so bad that you're going to sit there and you're going to mediate death to your life.

You have to be passionately intent with it if you have that much frustration. You're going to go in there, you're going to cut it, and you're going to have to take about two days off work when you do it because you will not be in a state fit to do much of anything. From that, your psyche will begin to repair and heal. After about a forty-eight to fifty-six hour period you're going to start coming up with a whole new look on life. If you go into those feelings as I have described, on the other side you'll find out that you're not really wanting out of here.

ll of you here are strangers in a strange land, and that is the bottom line. This is not home to you. You weren't created for this reality. You weren't meant for this reality and these bodies are about as foreign as you can get to you. That is also part of the joy why you came into them because it was a novelty. This is probably one of the most limiting forms any of you have ever been in. You could say that most of you eons ago evolved past this limitation and now this is almost like creating paralysis to you. It would be as if you've used your body your whole life and all of sudden something happens and you're paralyzed from the neck down. That is how you all feel in these bodies. There is a part of you that knows your power and your ability and it creates a frustration to be limited in this form.

So you're going to pull that energy and that power up and everyone of you will have to use it at least once in your life. Some of you have already used it. Some of you will use it multiple times. To some people this is when they get into their big intensity, they hate god, they're going to kill god—you've heard them all. Everybody is different with it.

Your identities are made up of a whole lot of layers, just for simplicity sake. Those make a cocoon over the Self that you're creating. You're the butterfly trying to come out of your own chrysalis. Most of you can see the beautiful butterfly floating. You can see the chick that has become the chicken, but you never think about what it took them to get out of the cramped space of the shell or the cocoon.

You know how tender the wings are on the butterfly, but do you know what a butterfly goes through in the process of changing from a caterpillar to a butterfly? Most of you say, well it makes a cocoon and comes out a butterfly. If you want to break it down, the caterpillar makes a cocoon and turns to mush. It doesn't just change from being a caterpillar. It actually creates an acid that totally destroys it, and if you were to break it open at that point, it is not a caterpillar. It's a green mush. There is no resemblance of any life form at all. It actually totally dissolves itself so that it can reconstruct itself.

Most of you have seen the size of a cocoon that your butterfly emerges from. You have a butterfly that emerges from a cocoon a third its size. That is cramped—totally cramped. What do you think the butterfly is going to go through in a feeling sense to break through that cocoon? Cocoons are not indestructible, but they are hard enough. If you put a fair amount of force on it and can't break it, what is the butterfly inside of it going through to get out of it, with its tender wings and legs?

Right now you're in a mush stage and the chrysalis stage. You are in the process of the mush and you want to break out of the cocoon at the same time. Technically you can because time is simultaneous. So you're sensing a part of you, right now in the body, is in the mush stage of the caterpillar, but there is a part of you that is in the chrysalis stage with the wings that are trying to beat against and make a hole in the cocoon to get out. You're also sensing the butterfly knows how to fly, because you've breached your second brain. And so, you're seeing you to be all these at once.

So which stage is going to be preferable to you? If you were living these all at once and you are in the physical body going through the mush, you're obviously going to prefer . . .

The advanced stage.

Yes, and that is where the temper-tantrum is coming from. So instead of just staying in the mush, if you can use your determination whenever you get frustrated. It can be one of the most powerful tools you can use. Just don't be afraid of it and use it. Pull it up, use it and let that begin to crack the edge of your cocoon so you can emerge, so that you can do it quickly and simultaneously. You're actually going to take your intensities, get as mad as you can, as frustrated as you can, and punch a hole so that you can at least view the finished product. If you are here in the mush and you can view the finished product, it gives you stability. It gives you a sense of, “Okay, its worth going through this, if that is how I'm going to look.”

How many of you think a caterpillar knows what is happening to it? It's a molecular thing that happens. How do you think the caterpillar feels when its body secretes an acid that turns it to mush, and it is conscious through the whole process? How does the caterpillar feel? Emotionally, psychologically, what is that caterpillar going through as it sits and is consciously aware of its body going into mush for the transformation, and it doesn't know what transformation is? This is the only time it has been through it so it has no idea what is going on. It is molecular. It doesn't know what it is going to be. It doesn't recognize that its even going to become a butterfly. What would it be going through?

Confusion, frustration, fear . . .

Everything you said you are going through. When it is in the process of doing that, what do you think the caterpillar wants to do?

It wants out of there!

It is in the cocoon of its own making. That cocoon of its own making is for protection to hold it together during its transformation.

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

I guess my 'write offs' didn't belong in my post Dante.  Just trying to keep in the true spirit of "what pisses me off" you know?  Guess i got on a roll.  I was bent over an old trunk throwing things out ... one over this shoulder, one over that.  Guess everyone else's advice is far more sensible.  Guess i forgot to mention that a handy list is not always helpfull.  Guess we're all left guessing at times and realising we know virtually nothing.  Guess you can 'write me off' too if you want.

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.


Join me in Peru to celebrate December 21st 2012 - Visit:


Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

hey! there

     Blue thanx for your concern I really appreciate what you have posted and believe me it did uplifted my mood when i read it. THANX!!. But after really thinking about revival as it is from a catterpillar to a butterfly what pisses me off is this that this whole setup has come to my conciousness at this stage even tho! this has been going on since the birth. From the time i could recall of my conciousness i could relate and explain away everything thing that has happend was for the very purpose of making me do what am getting into now. Now, lets say i do assume this cocoon my home for a while and i take thie pain as the ecstasy of flying to come but what about the period how long does is take! there has to be certain period for everyone. I understand that i came into my conciousness cuz it was obviously difficult for them to bring me down unconcious infact they tried their ass off and they couldn't and they knew something was wrong that was the reasno why my whole life was a set up of how it had been set up. Why did someone had to play with my true feelings and emotions in doing so what ever they tried now even i do forgive all of them and take it as an expeirence it is then why in the name of love they wake me up from my spiritual dreams and why in the hell they disturb me when i try to meditate and awaken my kundalini. What is the difference between dieing with an awaken kundalini and dieing without it. I see satisfaction in dieing in an awakened state of GODHOOD and kundalini where I know where am going and what am doing next I do not want to surreneber myself to some process that can't even look into your eyes and explain it. It would be the same process one day of ecstasy with flying and death. I don't fear death that is the reason i do things to its extreme and i don't fear anything I seriously don't but I really dno't like the whole idea of dieing and giving up in yoru concisousness knowing that everyoen else is same as you and different version who couldn't even speak truth and i won't surrender myself to them and the process what if i am sent back to this place once again oblivion. I want to finish this in this lifetime am not ready to buy into any timelines of other or any temptations. Even tho! we do share each others thougths on internet but in reality i can't find a single entity. I mean i see everyone as opposite of me trying for me or what ever.

I am sorry if i did come out as commanding its jsut my frustration but I seriously needed to spill all this out cuz I really can't speak to none about this and thanx once again everyone for having this forum up.

" Love is the understanding and unspoken bond between you and the creator "

"Loving is an art that is the state of creation"

..........Lyrically am suppose to SHINE.........
..........I am the ONE that makes you  BLIND........
..........And am that darkness that lets you SHINE.........

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

I'm pissed off at myself!   I went into an Herb shop looking for something to ease the pain of an aching shoulder muscle.  I left the shop about an hour later $500.00 in debt.  A naturopathic doctor spent about thirty minutes of kinesthetic muscle testing. Without the aid of any scientific methods developed in the last fifty years he diagnosed me as having a damaged pineal gland, contained cancer cells in my esophogus and lungs, thick blood, estogen dominant, blockage in my aorta, high cholesteral, fibroids in my uterine cavity, bone spurs, osteoporosis, gluten sensitivity, alzheimer's, and flukes. We did the zapper and then he used a magic marker and put x's on my skin where the cancer was suppose to be and then he used some sort of round device to kill the cancer.  I left with $400.00 worth of product.  My shoulder is fine now probably because I stopped doing yoga; but, I'm feeling like this naturopathic Tribe of Judah motorcycle minister is perfect for gullible suckers like me.  I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to be dupped anymore!  I've got to forgive myself and move on.

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

Argh ! seems part of growing-awakening-learning is anger...
at all the idiocy, cruelty and damage done to our selves and the world.
Rape and pillage for control and power under the guise of good... but

hm...  but since I really dislike yikes fanatics of any kind.. they only destroy but do not build or repair
themselves or the world
that anger if I feel for them  just became a weapon turned against me..


I'm not going to let them win or stop listening to what I know is a path for me..

The hardest part has been to stop being mad at myself.

In search of...

Re: Now I'm just pissed off.

I hereby officially declare the last week of November NR Gets Pissed Off At Everything Week!

Just thought I should mention (if it hasn't been mentioned enough already) that Mars just recently went retrograde, and will be for a couple months.

Thought it might be a useful note; I know the retrograde's been affecting me quite a bit already.