First of all, thank you all so much for your replies. You’re my angels
I am so grateful to have you in my life at this moment. More than you’ll ever know…
It seems I’ve come full circle, my friends. I can’t reply to any of your posts without relating my thoughts and feelings. It’s all intertwined—like a big quantum soup mess. It all ties in together. I don’t know how to coalesce my thoughts into something understandable by others. The rabbit hole is so friggin deep, that I’ve lost my way.
Since I’ve come here, I’ve learned a lot. But of course, the more I learn, the less I know—it seems. Between the research that I’ve done, the muscle testing experiences, and the remembering, I’ve unveiled many disturbing things. I can’t even talk about the compassionate advice given to me without going into this tangled nest. I don’t even know if what I’m about to write will make sense to anyone else. I have a feeling it might, though. I wanted to start a thread about all of this, but I guess this one will work, since it’s all in the same game.
True to my moniker, I have been an avid truth seeker. Well, come to find out, the truth ain’t so pretty, there, Verne…
I’m pretty sure that we’re not even in Kansas…maybe we never were.
Okay, so this is going to be reaaallly long….First off, a little more detail bout me.
I’ve got this thing. I think it might be like a familiar. In my muscle testing and dowsing thread, I went into some of the specifics of my situation, among other threads. So, I’m told from shaman #1 in Oct. last year that I had a piggybacker left that he hadn’t gotten rid of during the initial entity clearing. He was going to go thru my family lineage next, but I’m doubtful he went that far, since our ‘falling out’. So he calls my ‘friend’ a piggybacker.
Fast forward to June this year. Shaman(ess) #2 tells me that the said supposed piggy is my twin. She calls my twin Althea. My mind kept wanting to call her Athena. Maybe the lady interpreted the name wrong. Regardless….
All the while, mind you, I’ve been asking for the truth. I sit out there in my ‘den’ and beg for the truth. Well, hello! Maybe I should be careful what I ask for…
So after seeing above shamaness, I came to the realization that maybe this twin soul sharing my body isn’t a good thing? In the meantime, I’m reading James Bartley, Eve Lorgen, Blue Planet project, the Dulce material and other various streams of information, including the whole twin thing. Oh, and I had perfected my muscle testing. Or so I like to think!
So I go back to the shamaness a couple weeks ago. At this point, I am forced to use my credit cards to see her and have a place to stay, and food, etc. Still haven’t figured out a way to help humanity and make money at the same time…
Anywho, I had started to suspect that my birth was not normal. From the testing that I’ve done, I can honestly say that it was pretty screwed up. The possibility that my mother’s twin pregnancy was on purpose is definitely there. I think I was an experiment. My muscle testing was very rigorous (see other thread). But I think I finally did get it right. So accordingly, my situation is thus:
Mom seems to be not normal. She was born in ‘43, when a lot of experiments were starting. She may or may not be my biological mother. I think she was taken shortly after she was born in the back seat of a car on a country road. See, now I’ve read way too much shit. Maybe I’m just paranoid?? Delusional? Crazy? Oh well, at any rate, if there is such thing as cloning, my ma is one. I tested that she was replaced at birth, basically. I have no clue if any of this is true. Maybe I just have some really demented entity attachment that controlled my muscle testing? I’m told that I’m clear of attachments like that. So, I’m in denial. I know that these things are true, or close, but I really don’t want to think about them or accept them….
So my birth is a mystery. Mom won’t talk about it. She says she doesn’t remember it all, and besides, “some of it’s not your business”. Okay…. So yeah. My mt is all I have (had). I got really up close and personal with the truth during my testing. I think Ma’s ovum were genetically modified and then inserted during one of her abductions. While conveniently being ‘raped’ around the same time. Who was he? I don’t think it matters.
I have tested that my twin has been with me my whole life, thru thick and thin. Great comfort. And at times, it was. I can’t say whether the presence has been positive or negative. Maybe both? I just know that my testing said that there was 2 souls in my body. The twin thing was a little hazy. My intuition says it’s not a standard twin pregnancy. The fetus was absorbed by my body. And I’m guessing her soul merged as well? I don’t know how that works. I tested that she (it) meant me harm.
I had told the shamaness that I thought she had been misled by my twin. Perhaps she was, but doesn’t want to admit it? Whatever. So I go back and she has me answering questions and stuff about why I let my twin “in” (for lack of a better word). I’m like—Well, I didn’t even know she was there, so I can’t answer that. She turned it around and told me to answer from the driver’s seat. So I ‘turned in’ and found the answers she wanted. Was it me answering?
So have you guys read James Bartley’s work? How about Steve Gamble? I know you’ve probably all read WIH, too. Damn, this is deep…processing, processing…
Okay, so I think my twin’s body would not have been human, had it been born. I wanted the shaman to read the articles I brought along about reptilian entities, but she wasn’t doing that. I don’t know what to think about all this. But here is a thread I read on the woman’s warrior forum. I think it ties in somehow. {crap...I can't find it now. I didn't bookmark that site. It's a forum, members by invitation only. Anyone know what the site's name is? I linked to it from here, I know}
I hope that I am sooooooooo wrong about all of this.
Okay, well, the shamaness has me go ‘walking away’ from my twin and all that. She didn’t really have time to read the articles I brought, I guess. And I kept wanting to show her that specific one I linked to up there, but somehow couldn’t get that far. She was being duped or I am. The pain in the center of my back is related to my ‘twin’, of that I have no doubt. All right, well, it still hurts. I don’t feel as though my “twin’s” presence has left me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who it is or why it won’t leave. But I have my theories, as mad as they are to the normal joe.
Nice, eh?
So that’s just a small part of the personal crap I’m dealing with right now. My quest for the truth goes much deeper than myself, though. Existence. Life. Reality. Who are we? Where did we come from? Who is god? Which one? Ha ha. Welcome to the jungle…
Alright, well I’m going to stop for now, cuz I’m wearing down and must eat. I have so much more to talk about…I really want to talk about this whole JC and Michael thing. But of course, it can’t just be one thing. It’s all tied in together. The WIH, the ‘aliens’, the astral planes, the matrix….At this point, I need someone to tell me how wrong I am about all of the thoughts that I have about our existence (or non-existence). This hole is so very dark and lonely….
Does anyone have a flashlight?
Maybe I should start a separate thread concerning this really deep well I’m hanging out in currently. Perhaps I will…
For now, though, I have been trying the trick Montalk talked about in the implants thread, about building a protective shield. I ask/intend for my higher self to build this and then I expand it to encompass my house and property. Don’t know if it’s working or not….I do ask my non-physical guides to help build or reinforce this shield. I’m horrible at visualization, so I have no idea if this is helpful. I noticed that the nights I remember to do that, I don’t get messed with. But I am on a “schedule”, probably, so maybe it’s just timing?
I’m really sorry if this hasn’t been coherent. I have so many thoughts and so little organization…
I just want my muscle testing to come back. Oh, and zenden, I’ve been doing the water barrier trick. I don’t think that’s what I’m dealing with here. Entity attachments are secondary at this point, I think.
I don’t think I have a choice in whether or not I’m being taken against my will or without my consent.
From what I’ve read, I think Lyra said that even she still gets abducted. (Was that the implant thread?) So maybe we can’t stop it, even if we ask for help? I wish I knew the answers.
Thanks for listening, guys. More tomorrow, providing I’m still in the physical…
[edited for a couple typos]