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	<title type="html"><![CDATA[Noble Realms — A stall in my journey.]]></title>
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	<updated>2008-02-07T04:00:38Z</updated>
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	<id>https://forum.noblerealms.org/viewtopic.php?id=6450</id>
		<entry>
			<title type="html"><![CDATA[A stall in my journey.]]></title>
			<link rel="alternate" href="https://forum.noblerealms.org/viewtopic.php?pid=73120#p73120" />
			<content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Some 15 years ago I reached a conclusion that there is something out there that holds this world together.&nbsp; I found the synchronicity in serendipity and began to follow life through intuition as well as I knew how.&nbsp; Like living life on the edge of reality like mist above a wave, I started to see correlations and affirmations to my journey all around me.&nbsp; Life is a dream has been at the core of my thoughts and much as come into my life to prove this. <br />A woman to whom I had a soul connection to was once telling me about a book she read when she was a kid called &quot;The Caterpillar Pillar&quot;.&nbsp; It was the kind of book for her that lead her to seeking the true meaning of life.&nbsp; I tried to find the book on line only to discover it was out of print.&nbsp; (apparently it has recently been re released) A day or two later we decided to go for a drive, we saw a sign for a garage sale and decided to stop and check it out.&nbsp; There it was, in a box of books.&nbsp; My journey with her didn&#039;t end there, we ended up moving to Oregon together and so much more happened that I will stray from that story. There were some hasty decisions made and many misunderstandings among friends and family but she is there now and doing well and I am here.&nbsp; I fear my narcissism could interfere sometimes and I try to be humble but when I feel a thing is right, I go for it.</p><p>I&#039;ve also experienced some dreams that had a tremendous impact on me.&nbsp; Once, when I was just starting out with my experimentation of psychedelics I had a the following dream. <br />I was sitting in an empty room looking over a large city that resembled an MC Escher sketch.&nbsp; The city was in the shape of a stadium and the rim was filled with cement structures with randomly placed right angles, much like randomly stacked non uniform blocks.&nbsp; I was in one of those rooms looking down at the center where there was a round stage.&nbsp; The stage was far away but I could see right up to the crowd that formed around it.&nbsp; On the stage was a dance, a sort of ritualistic fire dance where the players were dressed in primitive native outfits while they danced in a circle with torches.&nbsp; They would place their&nbsp; torches in a circle as if they were being placed into holders on the stage.&nbsp; They then took more torches and created another circle above the first creating a sort of fire pillar. The crowd was diverse and resembled a rave or some youth driven party.&nbsp; I then saw off to the side a group of proteseters, conservatively dressed with button up shirts, ties real blue collar types.&nbsp; The crowd began chanting &quot;Fire, Fire, Fire&quot;.&nbsp; Just as the conservative crowd started protesting &quot;No Fire, No Fire&quot;. As this was going on I thought to myself why are these people protesting the fire dancers, it&#039;s just a performance/ritual whatever, why couldn&#039;t they let them be.&nbsp; The scene then changed to all the members of the crowd running across a lawn towards a row of suburban houses and tearing down fences, breaking windows, rioting.&nbsp; I then woke up startled.&nbsp; The level of reality in this dream was/is indescribable.</p><p>Two days later a friend came over to tell me he got some Acid.&nbsp; It would be the first time I tried something this strong.&nbsp; We hung out for a while while it kicked in and as soon as we felt the peak, we went down the street from my house to a park.&nbsp; It was an amazing night for this being summer and in my parts summer storms are not common.&nbsp; Well the wind was blowing warm and billowing clouds could be seen on the horizon.&nbsp; This is where it happened.&nbsp; I was standing on a jungle gym looking around when I discovered it was cylinder shaped with red metal rings going up to the platform where I stood.&nbsp; At this point I remembered my dream and just laughed at the coincidence.&nbsp; &nbsp;I then looked around the playground and noticed the cement walkway surrounding us was a circle, much like the stage in my dream. Still not convinced I started to tell my friend about the dream.&nbsp; Just then I looked around the park which was all grass surrounded by 60&#039;s style suburban clone homes which looked exactly like the ones attacked by the rioting crowd.</p><p>The dream has been rehashed many times by me and I have come to feel it was forewarning that playing with fire is no party and all aspects of the psychedelic experience should be taken very seriously.&nbsp; Serious fun not excluded.</p><p>Now this is entirely subjective and being inspired by a dream may or may not be a premonition.</p><p>The biggest moment in my dream experience was two weeks before the september 11 bombings in New York.&nbsp; The scene in the dream was much like a couple other dreams in which I am kneeling on a hill, overlooking whatever it is the dream is there to show.&nbsp; Beside me is a shadowed figure, who I never really see.&nbsp; The figure and I discuss the scene.</p><p>In front of us was a landscape, it was as if we were a thousand feet above a city.&nbsp; The buildings looked like early flight simulator games, or a low res google earth image.&nbsp; Flatland.&nbsp; There was a peninsula jutting out into a large river and on the end was two squares billowing smoke into the sky.&nbsp; One white, one gray they spiraled upward.&nbsp; The figure next to me was entertained by this and mentioned how cool it was that &quot;those buildings just collapsed&quot;.&nbsp; My response was the oposite and I asked why he could enjoy this, &quot;people are dead down there&quot; was in my reply.&nbsp; I woke up and wrote the dream in my journal.<br />Two weeks later it happened, and upon waking up to the news I was instantly reminded of the dream.&nbsp; I haven&#039;t been the same since.</p><p>I write this now from a place in the Santa Cruz mountains.&nbsp; I have been following my &quot;intuition&quot; for some time now and have reached a sort of stall pattern.&nbsp; I am reminded of a line from the movie Waking Dream where a character says something to the extent that once you get into the details you no longer see the big picture.&nbsp; I may be getting that wrong but that&#039;s how I feel now.&nbsp; Misdirected and alone on my spiritual journey.&nbsp; I moved out here to find someone or some place to go where I can foster and grow my connection to life.&nbsp; Mainly to find my place in the bigger scheme of things.&nbsp; I&#039;ve been fighting off depression and anxiety over my decisions and reliving the incessant doubt that is always at my heels.&nbsp; Am I the only guide in this?&nbsp; If I don&#039;t watch where I&#039;m going could I lose myself in the chaos?&nbsp; Another book comes to mind, one I read many years ago called &quot;Way of the Peaceful Warrior&quot;.&nbsp; In it was the warning, once you start on this path you had better follow through because the only other option is insanity.</p><p>I am hopeful and feel this time in my life is just another process, another learning opportunity along the path to enlightenment.&nbsp; I was thinking I could just come here and walk around until I found what it is I should go for but as I am a believer in all faith I have no conviction to one.&nbsp; I now realize and I&#039;ll reference a bible quote here &quot;god helps those who help themselves&quot;.&nbsp; The metaphor stands true and I feel now I must reach out and seek the answers, with a plan.&nbsp; Walking blindly into life with one eye open now and again just to be sure.&nbsp; (and carrying a map)</p><p>Thanks for reading</p><p>Life is an illusion</p><p>-jeez, I hope so wink</p>]]></content>
			<author>
				<name><![CDATA[HipGnosis]]></name>
				<uri>https://forum.noblerealms.org/profile.php?id=1594</uri>
			</author>
			<updated>2008-02-07T04:00:38Z</updated>
			<id>https://forum.noblerealms.org/viewtopic.php?pid=73120#p73120</id>
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