PEACE

even if i try to make sense of what I understand won't make any sense because we are so grounded by the verbal prison that we keep reinforcing ourselves into.

I think I understand more now. The line above is a very powerful sentence (sentence pertaining to the so-called prison we are in as well), and describes so well the problem of this world in trying to connect and relate to people through forums, myspace or rather theirspace (or nospace actually), and emails and the very worst - text msg's. As you say further reinforcing the bars and the separation between all of us.

Also something you said before that is very true - about people who choose words carefully, ones that have been carefully crafted and learned and in my opinion used as their armour, to shield themselves from exposure or from really expressing and connecting with others or with whom they really are behind the mask.

If I understand the black and white feather thing, maybe you are not stuck on the one that is neither, but are breaking out of the prison that is either black or white - the rules that have been imposed on us and reinforced by many of us unwittingly through the controllers but are not what we ever were, are, or will become. It sounds like you are doing just fine as you are. Stepping out of the box - go for it. The journey is well under way so enough from me and enough of this forum life - it belongs where it is, in computers. The real thing is so much more fantastic and breathtakingly awesome as you know. There will never ever be enough words.

We will all meet up one day beyond this passing moment and have a good laugh at the high drama and humour of it all.  All the best to you in your journey and of course everyone else.
FS.

But yeah when I got high i did think about the conversation and everything was so crystal clear what looked threat was just a lesson on the path and pretty sure you know more than i can tell you.thanx again dude...

aye! Bilal...

    Lol guess what happend dude i won't write what i thought about your posts but you did had something to say thanx for the info bro. I appreciate it and you are right never get high on your own supply and dude herez the thing bro now am at this stage where I either die or I choose to fight for my believes and love. And believe me as much as i don't like to be i this war but its like it doesn't want to leave me alone and am pretty sure I made it thru this and I will once again. May be that was the reason when you asked me once long ago how do I like chicago and I said been here done that..REMEMBER???

anyways, thanx for coming back with the knowledge dude. I am going to go thru the links that you have posted hopefully soon. Besides this is what I got dude I feel like his son dude amean we are all their children but how everytime I get high its not about having fun its all about friggin dealing with this petty tyrants as Don Juan puts is that comes to you to make you freak the hell out of you and all I do is fight back and in thos times my Ego is the only source and I definately keep a close look on what I say which are absolutely based on truth and love and I feel right to say what am saying and I just bead my internal dialouges. Besides this is what happend right I got high with this friends of mine right and I suspect they are from the dark side of the moon. Cuz the chair he was sittin on had this intelligen design on it of alien eyes and when I was young like 17 or 18 they made this group and they use to call themselves aliens. But anywas, I don't just say this because i saw intelligent design but I have also seen UFO's while high when I was with them.

There are soo manythings dude even if i try to make sense of what I understand won't make any sense because we are so grounded by the verbal prison that we keep reinforcing ourselves into. All and all am waiting for my kundalini to rise up to my crown chakra I got all my chakras working pretty much vibrating and still working on it.

Montalk, thanx dude for the forum I read you closing the NR. It was of great help dude thanx once again I really appreciate your mails too when I needed them most. Thanx once again and Good Luck to you. About "birds of a feather" dude it came up to me when i was meditating and I thought about it and it pushed me to realize that we are always growing no matter how far we go and fly and indeed I might just be bird of a feather that is black and white and stuck being on a feather that is neither fully black nor white and trying to convince everyone else the same.

Now, Atltamash and me are not the same person yeah we all are part of that one entity that we know as ONE or GOD. that being said let me tell you what altamash case is for me. For me he is just another choice on my path. He shows similarities and people pointing out and using his shoulder to shoot me is not a bad idea at all infact its the very best concept one could think of who runs the show and am pretty much aware of it. Now, Altamash speaks of his Ego just like me but he doesn't believe in love as much as I do or may be he does am nobody to take a stand on him but thats just my personal opinion. We were together for 2 year and what do i recall of those years nothing really he was busy doing all the mischief he could and I was busy playing soccer and I loved it soo much that I was the best player in the whole school and I didn't had time to hang with him too much but we sat together.

Now, when he moved to Canada he came up with an email ID that pretty much represents me. As I was going thru my waking up period a friend came up to me when I had this dream of becoming a DJ and I wore cap most of the time at that time. And when we use to get high he use to freak the hell out of me with his poems about some guy named DJ coming to this world believing in love , loving his mother to his death and falling in the dark side and all that and it would be like my story and  I wasn't that stable in thsoe times. Because I wasn't aware of myself and the world and it was just that I was depressed with my life and my g/f leaving me and all that crap the system played on me. Now, Altamash has an Id that is djcapone300-@ ....... now, i was obsessed with number 3 infact, the list is so long where i saw 3 is not even funny my first time in U.S 2003 well, i don't want to go on here am not trying to convince anyone of anything but what am saying is he just turns out a mere choice to me thats all. I seriously consider my whole family as a choice cuz they are ever ready to step in your shoes its not jsut family but the whole friggin world and it doesn't matter.

But yeah freespirit I understand your point of view. Probly ego is your petpiff and let me tell you what exactly is my ego. I will define it for you its not that of a similar picture of ego. My ego is a product of my believes that has proved right to me which are based on truth, honesty and love. which means i won't say am right unless and untill those 3 factors that governs my ego allow me to which is to say about being truthful , honest and with love and understanding. but what ever dude you guyz can go ahead write all the similarites and point out what ever you could jsut know that its not that easy as it looks.

The similarity may be because they are peers, birds of a feather.

And also possibly that there seems to be a coming-together of peoples operating on similar frequencies, so 2 alike will meet and get along right from the very start as if they always knew each other. Both online and in real life.

And Eon said..

So is that what we are witnessing, one of those insane battles or did you both just happen to smoke from the same bong at the same time. You both speak very freely about others and their opinions so I will do the same. No ulterior motives, just observation from my viewpoint.

Altamash, you said..

OK I'll play that game. Checking for glitches right now..............Compute...compute......... Chances of two pea in a pod meeting up on a forum (Dude...is that you??) is slim but not impossible but makes me go hmmm.
Writing style is very similar and without the id's I wouldn't be able to tell the two apart especially on the more recent posts. The smaller aspects of this are the obvious things like the use of 'cuz' and i and i'm instead of I (but not all the time), the general rhythm and ref to the 'lizzies' as if in common use by everyone (and the C's).
The partial exchanges with other posters before launching back into the one man conversation is extremely similar too.

There are many more examples if there was more time.
Ok you could say that both have the same background and schooling, and peers do start talking alike, but to me it seems a bit obvious and it must surely have been a long time since they saw each other last. Anyway just playing the game, always interested in what makes people tick and just searching for truth like everybody else although I don't proclaim to know anything for a fact, just my many beliefs (always subject and liable to change at any minute upon better information or higher prods).

One more thing not related to the above but from EON's last post ...

Just wondering who the the above is directed at - is it Transcix? Huh!!!...maybe I missed something or maybe you had moved on to a more general rant.
The debating 'with people who are one sided driven' again makes me go ..Huhh!!! Error.........error..does not compute......
At least you and Altamash have two sides of viewpoint or do you.

Me not having to have any place in this forum. Well, yeah you probably are right cuz there is no way in hell if I wasn't here people who think can program me would have the hardest time and sooner or later the ego that you call it would have made it anyway. Now talking about ego you proved yourself of my doubt about you being on the side that i believed you ere and am pretty sure you do have lot in your hands to do what you can with what you have there. But you talking about Maya and going thru the hindu scriptures I agree we reach where we are reaching but it doesn't mean that there is only one way. If that was the case I would have been dead long ago the only reason am not dead cuz therez another way and none wants to agree with it and thats not my problem so ian't baking anything with anyones good thoughts or bad thoughts.

What makes a person is his belives and his impeccability with believe in the ONENESS of the whole and LOVE. Now, about doing drugs I had rather not do. Infact, I never did untill like I was 21 which is when your side had to make me do it and insert all these love songs and all that bull crap talk and mind feeding to make me one of your people. And please do not get offended by anyword which is what am doing just being myself and spilling out what I have in my mind about what you have written. And hell you say, it doesn't matter where I end up I don't think about future I think in now and present with all my attention on what am suppose to do and what am not suppose to do. Heaven and Hell talk are for them ignorant mass zombies that walk the street who got their heads in the cloud with false love defined in terms of beauty but not truth and their minds in their knees controlled puppets. And am glad am not one of them I have my mind right where its suppose to be everywhere and nowhere and I from my heart and soul believe in LOVE that is the only truth there is to know beyond all that you could hallucinate and create for yourself.

Anyways about drugs my friend. like I said I had rather not do it but what about all the pain and sufferings your people have to cause to those who wants to be complete as they are. What about those mind feeding and playing with real emotions of people with characters entering their lifes to teach them love and shit and draining them of their energies and leaving them depressed suicidal or chronic drug abusers. Like I said I have so much control over myself I could refuse it when I will to and I take it when I want to. You could smoke a whole kilo right infront of me i won't touch it if i don't will to. I touch those drugs only because sometimes life gets hard and its very well suppose to be hard fro people like me because I want true love not love defined in terms of beauty or love defined in terms of growin up like a vegetable only to make us just like you who are obsessed with feminity ruling the universe. She is the force and I respect her with all my will and intent and I don't carry anything either Will or intent against her if she wills to take me away with her. But I tell you what the problem is am one of those cases who observed life so closely in sufferings and pain that I know what it really takes for me to be who I am.

Believe me this is just the beginning very soon I will make it with my believes and i know am not wrong not cuz I speak my mind but even from my heart am as clean as anyone could be like a mirror what you give me is what you can expect from me infact I would give you that minute details of you that even  in your own skin you wuold have not observed. Besides, its useless to debate with people who are one sided driven and Hell is the father side according to you the lizzies who uses technologies. May be am at this stage cuz there is really somone who is not suppose to be running the show or may be am still understanding him but all and all I spoke of ma mind without fear or any emotions that will hold me from speaking what i feel. Emotions are very importan aspects of our identity sometimes they fuel us or sometimes hold us from being ourselves. And I believe I can manage my emotions I know where to pull them and where not to and it doesn't matter wether i speak on this forum.  A

About water don't worry I can handle myself without water or food at those stages cuz I know death as my friend so he won't pick me unless and untill its my will. And about Hell you should have really prayed I wish cuz you didn't know what you would have got then someone like me in Hell is one of the biggest asset to come back with my mind and a competition for your angel world that would have been impossible to accomplish. But I know deep inside I neither speak of Hell or Heaven I believe in love wether I exist or I don't. And drugs are only good for spirituality for those people who are weak at their minds and emotional driven people happy with seeing the luminiosity of the world as it exists and accepting that luminiosity as the force itself. What is luminiosity without darkness and what is darkness without light and I still say its the love at the roots that gave us all a chance to be here. If they were fighting like we morons then there would have been no existence.

Hmmm and you can feel the effects of cocaine, apart from the weed..

You just said so many things, EON, wrong in that last reply, that, respectfully, you have no place to be offering spiritual insight or advice here.. I hope that no noobie comes along and thinks from reading your post that they can have a fun and prosperous spiritual adventure with drugs.. you don't even know exactly what you smoke?.. I swear drugs are the key to spirituality, and the most heavily targeted aspect of the conspiracy.. a real entheogenic experience would blow you away, you would feel very badly for all the opportunities you have wasted, because it's so easy... but it's not all fluffy roses either, you will have an experience with true evil eventually and you will learn.. please don't talk about battles with lots of pain and suffering.. you would want to die.. I know what goes on in the universe.. and if I could press a button to blow the whole thing up, I would, because honestly, it's not worth it, but you simply do not know.. but you will learn.. I pray you do not go to hell when you die, because the ticket is not sinfulness, it is pure and simply being tricked, and the way you use drugs you are being deceived like totally pwned..

For the record, when I said I pray you do not go to hell, it was a figure of speech, I don't pray.

Now, smoking weed gives me insane battles with the self. I mean I literally don't drink water or anything and i let myself dehydrate to uttermost limits and thats when I start feeling great. Now, when am at that state I have this thoughts entering my mind and I kinda get into this insame thought battle with somone pushing those thoughts into my mind. And the fight is simple it wants me fall down and give up and I say why do I give up. And it reminds me of all the flaws in me and what not and I fight it with my answers to those thoughts arising and its like one of those Christ and Anti-Christ battle in the self at the doors steps of death. Its not that I don't like it...I absolutely enjoy those battles cuz I always leave the negative thoughts with answer less questions and answers and i think beyond it...so I enjoy it but I loose energy due to thought battles and it shows up but when i beat him I get energy. So, Bilal you talking about 4d thought battles hows this for a 3d living creature to fight....One more interesting fact this time when my friend dropped weed for me he gave me in a magzine paper with a lambo on it and it said on the paper the fighting beast. And when we first started smoking after soo long we smoke rs 50 and then he kept on getting better and better stuff and the price kept on increasing from 100 to 150 and then 200 worth andam pretty sure that it wasn't just clean weed it has somthing that pushes me into these battles.

It makes me wonder about death may be death is all about one getting grounded by his own thoughts arising in him pushing him and telling him to lay down with arms wide open and give in. But I love these situation it helps me to learn how and why people die and when i came to that conclusion now am pretty sure what it is...I love doing this dude its just one of those awsome battles with lot of pain and sufferings :-D

Transcix how can you know if weed is laced with cocaine or not? Seems an impossible task. But maybe I am just stupid or something.

Thats why you have 'personal dealers' who you can trust.

Yes of course when treated with respect weed is perfectly fine. The only thing is weed is often laced with cocaine and god knows what other stuff, but if you can get your hands on the good weed have at it. Just remember to treat the lady with respect and don't overuse.

I feel compelled to insert that weed is hardly ever laced with cocaine. It only happens if a dealer reads you to be 'new' and wants to 'hook' you, most reprehensible.

But, yah if Jesus did he believed in Love...look at some of those pictures of GOD then you will see how much ecstasy they have in their eyes. Now, you may say thats the artist, but tell you what that kind of look only comes in you when you are truly blissed when none can touch you and being GOD on this plane is nothing but a matter of having control over your internal dailouge. Like I said the book teachings of Don Juan helped me a lot infact, it gave me an idea of how the world is outside this physical realm. Infact, even he talks about kundalini in terms of indescribable's emanational bands and that what they are...what you precieve is what they will become for you.  Infact, its the same thing as fountain of youth. Talking about thought battle in 4D starts right here in 3d if you smoke weed or may be what i smoked I had this internal dialouges conflict it was so extreme that it took me to a door where i stick to my love and my believes or believe in the one who is challenging me and accept defeat and death. Now, thats not just talk it stands for its literal meaning I understood how one of ma side is being called the anti-christ and the other christ...cuz I know that I will make it sourcery which is to say according to your theory as a 6th dimensional being without a physical body but in unity of the ONE.

About people pointing out to you saying you are just me, me, me.... AKA SMITH...the point is I have done LSD and I literally saw myself in every friggin being it was like I was in a dream and I didn't feel my whole body and was there as a thought projected being who willed to do what ever he wanted and it happend that way. I mean its no big deal doing LSD or any friggin drug but what when you realize death is weakening you thru your internal dialouge. when you get into your internal dialouge you beat your negative talk with being as positive as you can and what you are doing is you are defeating your death.No one has defined death because it comes to those who are already dead. People who are alive and know of their every action and know the rules of the games they know death is nothing but a choice to sleep and wake up where you want not where everyone else wnat you to wake up. I will write something that is the truth if you can't get what you want thru this then there is no believe of yours in your love that strengthens you and no believe in yourself but only talk of higher knowledge. What sets higher knowledge is basics on what basis it takes stand if you are strong at your roots none can shake you no matter from where the winds hit the tree it won't fall. But as I understand myself and now what am assuming is that marriage is nothing but death....and its not that am friggin scared of death but I have asked for the truth to the sky and am gettin my answers. I haven't made it to point of seeing thru my ESP's which is looking at the wrold thru my soul with emotions and feelings but what I have seen as of now is as a dead man where as soul makes you weak even tho! she is your love and only hope for manifesting but only as a dead man one can learn what can be learnt.

Besides, this world is a set up where you are born with certain abilites. Now as you are born you go thru society programming to what not which gives a shape to your whole personality a final result and outcome of the knowledge thats been fed to you thru your precievable senses. Now, most of us are grown in vegetative state where we are fine doing what we are going which is to say in love, family, money there is an endless list what one can want except for true love. Now, what is true love. If a person doesn't even know himself truly how can he even think of saying his love is true. He doesn't even understands himself therefore his love is an illusion of truth but he is busy still playing on love that hasn't been defined which is hate, anger , everything will flatten up when you know thyself cuz you will realize that you are nothing but a part of the same GOD who is projecting everything from life to what not. Now, on his way as he grow up like Don Juan defines... they try to control and make you surrender thru fear, that is why most of the children are already taken their paths at early age either as your STO's or STS's or how I like the term of Father and Mother.  Now, those who are born with spiritual immunity they will reject the social programming what is stored for them is control thru fear. Everything that exists around him is him its the same spoon of the matrix that is constantly feeding him. But that spoon can only be bent thru true realization of the self where am headed.  Now, if a person doesn't fear he starts to get his clarity of mind he could see things thru his experience and his mind and penetrate thru all the crap that is being played around him like a drama to define his identity. Now, if he falls for the clarity he is defeated to his second enemy. Instead if he uses his clarity with impeccablity and use it only to see and believe in love and wait for the call or the force that guides us which is love and ONE he starts storing power. Your power is your will that is you kudnalinic shell potency now when you begin with that you start storing power. And power comes thru constant battles of reinforcement of fear and trying to make your clarity an illusion so basically you are at war with the power at this stage. They pick you up on steps meaning what level of thinking you are seated at and thats where they take you to extreme from that leve but if you beat that extreme leve of that stair then you climb up a stair and now you face another step that will start testing you. and steps of those power keep on going.  At this point the person would be most likely be like me cuz I have started storing power and taking from baby steps to the steps that will set up a revolution for myself an my life and my believes of love and peace and if i should die I dont regret. Cuz I know deep down I lived my life the way I wanted being an impeccable warrior inserch of knowledge, truth and unconditional understanding. But as much as I don't like to predict my own future I would still pull it out I dont hink anything will make me fall even if i fall it would be me landing in thestate of STS or STO.

But, if i learn to manage my power and keep on moving foward you will face the old age. Which is what am facing right now, and if you fail here which is to say you will loose all that you have learnt in your suffering and leave like a puppy in the world of dinasours.  Now, the point is am not even trying to be a dinasour which is offered to me and everything is but a mere choice to me. I don't take anything for conincidence or anything I see. I make sense out of every thing cuz things are the way they are cuz you need to make sense thats decoding the matrix.  But anyways, like in his book he says one can't defeat but if he fights of for a little while he will be able to make it and become a man of knowledge. Now, imagine a person being in balance with both of his polarities. doesn't that make him a literal GOD for everyone. Why do you think they say Jesus was son of GOD and GOD himself..because he became complete in his physical existence with all his suffering and impeccability he made it to that level..

anyways, am outta time i ain't got enoug mullah on me but ama hit you when i will. and besides dude who am fighting speaks thru every person on this forum thru some he helps me and thru some he programs me but its all good as long as i get my love.. Its all love for me dude and true love indeed of the creator. but yeah I might come out as a moron or someone whoz out of his mind and if thats  the case i will be glad but even if i come out like i know something then thats not good cuz i still need to konw what i need to know...