iam.there.foreithink@gmail.com

Namaste

"If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats."

This is not a far-fetched idea for many reasons; one of which is in regards to your wife, and the work she does.  Humour is always a way to break through barriers with the people you love. Many of us are way tooo serious.  If we could try once in awhile to test the limits of our being we might just find a more interesting and dynamic aspect to ourselves. This could become a pattern of habit which would not only make our lives more robust, but give our partners something to lift their spirits.  Here is where developing a creative imagination can pay off.   Most women love a man who has a great sense of humour--even more than a guy who looks good.  I'd try creating a fantasy persona for your wife that alows her a laugh or two when she gets home, and a bit more zest to the sex-life.  With practice you may find a persona that gives you enough energy that it becomes a regular connection to a greater source of passion and creativity.  Everybody loves a clown once in awhile, especially if one works at the loonie factory (corporate culture over-achievers included).  You may come off more real than real, as Antaeus suggested.

Making the life of a significant other worth laughing about, makes a life for you worth the effort.

If you listen to one group on this board, they will tell you practically none of us western people have a soul, and the Earth is cordoned off because a bunch of evil doers have entered our planet, and we souless Americans will be open to these evil forces.

Another group will tell you that we are simply approaching ascension of some kind, and this feeling is similar to someone in the process of wakening, and you know how many people are a bit cranky upon rising. 

One of my brothers lives a bit extravagantly and he says that he could die tomorrow, so why not live good while he can.  I'm thinking that he could also live until he is ninety.  It is best to behave as an actor around all the different people you see each day and present to them a personna that gives them a good feeling about you.  What is important is what is going on inside of you, and other people don't necessarily need to know about it.  I'm not talking about here on this forum, I just mean in your daily life.  Whenever you try out loud some of the idea's your processing, those who are listening will only change it into something totally different, as they have their own idea's.  Or, they will take offense at what it is your posit.

"If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats." 

I don't think I've ever gave this quote enough contemplation.  Sorry blueknight about all that very questionable wisdom.  I think that I utilize this forum like a chalkboard to do exercises.  Including errors.

A lot of people are in the same boat as you so don't be too discouraged, but you can't fix things over night.

I just have couple suggestions.  One is about truth searching.

I can't tell you things like what the purpose of life is and what is the truth.  You have to find those out yourself.  I know what I believe in and what is true in my mind, but it wouldn't be the same if I tell you.  And if someone tells you things like that, be very skeptical. 

You can try to study a bunch of different things.  But what you should try to obtain is not just knowledge but knowledge with the participation of your being.  This participation involves real life and real people.  Knowledge needs to be reflected and acted it out.  After you act it out, it may change how to view a certain piece of knowledge - accept, reject, or have a perspective on it.  Basically any mental conception is useless unless you can get your consciousness involved somehow.

It's important to obtain a coherence of your view.  Knowledge tend to be fragmented, but as you accumlated more and more knowledge, you will learn to pick up bits and pieces and fit everything together if you are sharp enough in logic, which isn't too difficult.

Challenge all your current beliefs including your common sense.  If they are deeply rooted, at least know where your values and beliefs come from.

At some point in your study, you may need to put your faith in something in order to make progress.  But faith is never absolute and unwavering but always provisional.

You can try finding a hobbie.  One of my hobbie is herbology.  I grow herbs and study how the combination of different herbs can affect human health.  I am interested in herbal healing.  I always have my ears open for different ancient herbal lores.  Another hobbie is Tai Chi.  I never thought a set of body movement can make me feel so good until I tried it.  I also play tons of Chess.  I of course study and meditate a lot.  I know lots of useless and dead ancient languages.

Seems like you realized what you do not want, and thats a major feat in itself.

After my 5th grade year I changed schools and was eventually homeschooled through high school. During this time my mother exposed my sisters and I to all sorts of things that are considered "alternative" or that you wouldn't discuss with other people. Wicca, goddess things, tarot, runes, reincarnation, etc., etc., just let me say that none of this was forced but more of a, "Hey, here's what this is, form your own opinion." During this time she was still dragging us to some church and praying to some cross, trying to find jesus, and everything else that church people do. At that point, I was conflicted.

I always seemed to believe in "other" things, even if they weren't too far fetched, things like positive thought, turning off the tv, listening to (insert anything, being, or location here) for guidance. Other things that would get me sent to the state mental hospital too, such as aliens, spirit guides, etc.

When I started the job that I have now the conversation came to "spirituatlists" and psychics. The guy I work with most of the time grew up as spiritualists and his dad does readings and all sorts of things on a regular basis. This guy told me that there is no heaven and hell, that we're all just here learning until we go back to the spirit world. We chose to come here, we might have selected a few events to go through in our lives, but we all still have free will. He has given me information on developing mediumship... it looks a lot like astral projection.

Everything that I've been told or read here conflicts with everything I've been told, read here, or researched on my own. I do know that no matter what I do I still feel like my life is missing something. I know that the emptiness cannot be filled with material posessions. No matter what I do I still have this feeling like I should be doing something, going somewhere, like I have a purpose but I don't know what it is. I just fee lost.

I'm not interested in the television or most things that entertain the majority of the population.

I recently started taking classes at a local community college. The more I get involved in school the harder it becomes to quite my mind and focus on things other than what society says I should focus on.

I'm trying to live as if I should just be passing time, as if this is all temporary so I should just find something interesting to do and do it.

I don't know what to do, I feel lost, I feel empty. I feel even worse because my wife works at the state hospital and there is a patient there for thinking and doing the same sort of things.... not believing everything or just having blind faith in what you're told.

How do I break out?