A man is walking in a field. After taking a couple of steps, he suddenly stands still as if someone is pulling him back. That "someone" is me. Every time I say "stop" in my mind, the man stands still. Then he walks on, until I once again think "stop." I'm able to guide him, time and time again. The one time it doesn't work is when he starts to think. He begins to doubt and second-guesses himself. "Did I get a message to stop or not?" Dutch comedian Bram Vermeulen puts it this way: "To think is to doubt."

On that field I learned that you can completely trust your body's signals. But the thoughts you have about that information tends to jam those signals. Research has proven that your body - particularly your heart - know and receives more information than your mind.

How does your body know all this? The body is the perfect receiver (and transmitter) of the soul and appears to have access to the information fields you cannot directly access using reason. According to some scientists, these fields contain all the information (and all the answers) of all time. So, next time you have a problem, don't rack your brain about it. Instead ask a question then...listen.

Tijn Touber, Ode, September 2006

Let go and listen profoundly to the more abundant love which resides within rather than be distracted by the exterior maya.

"What good is an intelligence that robs the individual of a greater self-knowing, a life built on the superior ability to lie without blinking an eye?"
~~carefulcarpenter

I have found happiness in a harsh reality, and some are simply not wise enough to realize this happiness for themselves, I realize. I would like to change this. I am not happy because of my body or my job or that knowledge which is uniquely mine, these are aspects of convention that I strive to accept and transcend, that I take laughingly as whatever they are, because they cannot be sources of true happiness. Happiness is Nothing, not in feeling and experience, but in conventional idealogy, realization of the Tao, that the simplicity and beauty and presence of Now is enough, that nothing else need be strived for, this realization of completion, this is completion. Anything more is over-resolution, annihilation of evolution, ultimate nihilistic resolution of healthy variety that is needed for true unity to exist, homogenous blob of undifferentiated oneness.

We live in a harsh reality, as I have come to realize quite fully. But a key to happiness is to ultimately be your very own best friend in a middle way beyond STS/STO duality. The paradoxical thing is that such experience of self-realization and self-sufficiency can only exist if a communal context/pattern/process of existence-affirming subsistence/survival evolves in a healthy way in the first place. Capacity for a reality not worth living must ever be maintained in structural framework, to support the perpetually evolving freedom of will that then chooses existence over non-existence. To be one's own best friend involves the process of self-realization, of enlightenment: realizing that ultimately one can only eternally be one's own best friend if one is eternally loving, joyous and compassionate to all.

Macrocosmic love allows for microcosmic love, while microcosmic love is delicately self-authenticating in its own right. Capacity for dynamic evolution is an integral part of this self-sufficiency of the microcosm: hope, not for something that can be proven as hypothetically possible, but for something that cannot yet be imagined. Is this not the very definition of hope? To hope that some turn of events you do not know the nature of will transpire to allow for further turn of events that you know you want to transpire will. Hope is the precedent to action, what spurs you to look for proper action. Hope in turn creates faith, which is a feeling that even if your hope does not come true for now, still it allows for maintenance of the status quo that is acceptable in terms of contentment; faith is affirmation of existence in the fashion of Xeper as opposed to denial of existence in the fashion of ignorance. The maintenance of the status quo, in harmonious and faithful context such as what may be realized come 2012, this is worth living for.

I will expand this post presently as I write it.