Good luck to you! 
Its like all these fringe speakers are repeating the same old stuff over and over and lifting stuff off each other.
It perpetuates itself.
Though I do see the benefit of delving into these hidden agendas and manipulaters, rulers of Earth. One can learn a little from each of many speakers and take away from it some good info, but you reach a point when you back off from most of it. One can also overdo it, like me, and waste years and money buying all the books and listening / reading them over again obsessively (I speak mainly for myself here). I ended up giving away most all of my books to libraries and MUFON. Nowadays, I simply write things I notice in the media/movies/tv, internet, radio in my journals and try to remain relatively aware of developments and manipulations happening currently and their trends. I do occassionally look at books in the phenomena sections but rarely buy new ones, and listen to C2C radio and rent alt dvds at times to rehash and brush up on matters.
]]>And when did that control get taken away from the student?
]]>Good luck to you!
I thought a lot about what path I would have taken had I known the amount of money I owed and the difficulty in finding a job, but I realized I would have ended up going for a higher degree anyway, the reason being that it is harder to make a living and have a pension without a higher degree where I live and where I live is very expensive. I'm starting to think about moving though.
]]>I also have over 100K of loans to pay back Haha. I went to lawschool having been told that I'd be better off when I came out but I am still poor. Right now as we speak I am working on a policy project regarding the school loan scandal and how much people get into debt after school even though school was supposed to make them self sufficient and functioning members of society!
Shoogie - If you don't mind me asking, what school loan scandal and policy project are you referring to? Is it specific to the school you attended? I can totally relate to your situation... except my school loan debt is even higher, if you can believe that, and growing every year. Ugh!!
I need to go back in time and convince my younger self not to get that doctorate. 
Ironic how that works, isn't it? Once you let go, things can begin to come. It's also interesting how resonance frequencies can effectively make someone invisible in your like visible again once you're ready. What timed it? I would guess reality creation in action. Your experience attracted others in similar stages of development. I am reminded of something the Cassiopaeans said:
"When you network, your entire life will dramatically improve immediately!"
Keep shinin' everyone.
]]>“This is such a powerful thing, as we are so often drawn into the trap of making everyone and everything wrong and outside of ourselves, creating enemies, instead of really looking within and seeing where we might be able to choose differently; to choose love, to choose to end the patterns we perpetuate, to choose to stop our enemy patterning. Also, that you have gratitude to those who don't hold the yummy and easy to love parts, that instead of making it wrong, you understand how difficult it is for them to hold this for you; that's beautiful.”
(Stalker) laughing. As I wrote you in my e-mail (opus) I think what you shared was beautiful. I was sitting this morning feeling the day unfold, watching the birds play and sing, the squirrel acrobats, and all these levels unfolding within me like the peonies layered with nuance and scent, opening without thought, following the design blueprinted within, all these mirrors then at a reasonable hour, Damien Rice singing “oh I know I’ve left you in places of despair, Oh I know that I love you, so please throw down your hair, at night I trip without you, and hope that I don’t wake up, cause waking up without you, is like drinking from an empty cup” then beautiful music that crescendos and throws me over the edge…the words brought me to this thought: The hardest part for me with this was the recognition both that I was pulling these things through them (powerfully) because of my need to see and dance with what they were holding via the circuitry of our relationship. Also truly seeing why each of them was a match to hold these difficult shadow aspects (what beliefs held them in place, seeing this helped me map my own inner reality) and knowing I could not free them from what made “them” a match to hold it. I could only free myself from what made me a match to pull it through them. And then perhaps hope that if I could believe they could show me something that was more comfortable for them to shine, or something even that would give them joy to hold, ANYTHING I had not thought I could see in them because of my limited beliefs of them,(the heavy weight of it) that maybe they would take that invitation and we could continue that way spiraling upward. No attachment, no control, just an invitation while freeing my beliefs that they were any set being and that we are all free to flow the entire spectrum of the One, moment by moment. It was an autoimmune disease that made me really see this all. Self fighting a perceived enemy that was also self. Microcosm and Macrocosm always. Flow that to the world stage now and it is mind blowing, as it should be I suppose. I can only see the truth if I watch from my heart. BTW your humor and powerful love are so beautiful and inspiring. Thank you. Still giggling at your drug recipe…the peptide parade. I hope to hear and feel more of you here, I love your voice!
]]>. I was working late nights all this week, and so didn't have the opportunity to do that powerful post justice with a proper response. And then I logged on here and low and behold LightningEye resonated to and shared some of the exact words out of my head:And thank you so much for your tremendous post, Kato3. I think it benefited all who read.
A big thank you from me too for what you shared, it had such a clear pristine force to it. I've noticed when reading things you have written that there are certain words and phrases in there that seem to trigger a deep... almost contemplative silence where I am experiencing many different levels I was previously unaware of. I found myself doing that a lot in this one, as there was so much meaning behind meaning, layer upon layer, and, I guess the best term I can think of right now is that it was a true multi-dimensional experience.
What you posted on stabilized perception was awesome.
I also note that there is a lot of stabilized perception going on in this thread.
(This is a term I read long ago in a book by Peter O. Erbe called “God I am from tragic to magic”)
The way Peter used this term and idea was that we get trapped in loops. “I believe what I perceive and I perceive what I believe.” There is not a lot of room for growth in this process. We do it all the time, we have this set of limited beliefs that we are always attracting proof of in the outer, we empower the outer physical reality as the real one, never owning it is our sole (soul) creation and hence all this proof we are attracting serves to lock us more firmly in our limitation. These beliefs are already held in place by genetics and social programming so add the three together and it is no wonder the majority of people are completely trapped in their own minds never getting out from underneath the weight of the loops they themselves are empowering.
That is bang on. I realize how often I limit myself with stabilized perception; put things into a box, only seeing what I empower and allowing that to add force to my sponsoring beliefs, and limiting my experiences of those around me... it really is something to be continually conscious of. I thought it was so interesting in terms of this thread, and I picked up on this stabilized perception before your post and afterwards. I found the silence after your post was truly deafening, and was thinking that there were so many levels and layers, that our beliefs and perceptions were the limit to what we would experience from what you shared... so in essence that silence made perfect sense, because it was such a different feel from what had been previously posted... thus those looking or fixated on the previous resonance would pass their eyes over it, sans comment or maybe even notice.. and it would and did take time before anyone addressed it. It was like you were invisible , and I was almost relieved when I saw Lightning posted today haha 
I am the most grateful for those in my life who have gladly held my not so golden shadow. I love them fiercely for it because they own and hold what I clearly have not been able to. I have learned more through contrast (until recently) than I ever do by hanging around those people I adore.
This is such a powerful thing, as we are so often drawn into the trap of making everyone and everything wrong and outside of ourselves, creating enemies, instead of really looking within and seeing where we might be able to choose differently; to choose love, to choose to end the patterns we perpetuate, to choose to stop our enemy patterning. Also, that you have gratitude to those who don't hold the yummy and easy to love parts, that instead of making it wrong, you understand how difficult it is for them to hold this for you; that's beautiful. This is so true in my family, where I have to remind myself that they are holding these things for me to look at, and it's causing them pain to hold it for me, in the same way it causes me pain to experience what they're showing me, until I process it and release us all. Obviously as your post read and LightningEye just shared, one needs only to flow from their heart and out of resistance, be authentic and present, and those that can and are willing make the shift will join, and the rest seem to gracefully fall away. That's been my experience of it for sure. Thank you for sharing that paragraph, it had beautiful lessons in it.
My emotional addictions and their physical counterparts as my drugs of choice. The addiction filled most readily by the inferior dance. How does it go? Abandonment by being judged and proven as separate feeds me rage covered sorrow with a grief aftertaste all made worth it, by a smooth creamy filling of lack of worth that brings the whole cocktail home. These perpetuated dramas are better than crack for those neuro- receptors that crave it. The other side of the coin are the various “I am better thought forms” These are like a designer drug, all white and gleaning but quick and euphoric in their power. Some of my favorites are “only I see the bigger picture so let me help illuminate you”, or oldies but goodies, I am much smarter, prettier, richer, thinner, better dressed, more loved, celebrated, talented, powerful, ah there are so many. A girl has her patterns and peptides of choice I suppose.
That part cracked me up. It’s spot on too, the whole bit with the designer drugs, hah. I would have to say as a fellow junkie myself, I could recommend you a batch that has served me well in the past. Loneliness sautéed in a heavy oil of alienation, battered in an, oh so special blend of "woe is me" breadcrumb, lightly spiced with self dislike, and let's not forget my favorite brand of dipping sauce, the downward spiral, for that added hint of flavor that does you right for the next week or two. Shoot up friends!
Much Much Love, DasMoooooooose
]]>lyra wrote:The only people who I see jumping into conversations I'm having with others are those I've debated with or had an outright issue with in anther threads.
Who haven't you had an issue with on this forum?
Me, for one.
I echo Kato3's feelings about her book. Though I haven't finished it yet, it would be wise for people to consider the greater aspects of Lyra's character before making judgments. In all honesty, most of the time Lyra's direct no-BS responses make me laugh - that's just something I delight in. What do you delight in?
And thank you so much for your tremendous post, Kato3. I think it benefited all who read.
The first was a mass exodus of relationships that I no longer needed. Grace and ease prevailed and I left my practice and family behind without abandoning anyone it was a natural flow that removed all but a small handful of people from that previous incarnation or dream I was in. The second is that I have attracted some new relationships with people with one common characteristic, incredible rarified hearts. They hold my golden shadow for sure and also much unity for me to be with. This proves my work paid off in that I am moving away form the energy leaks of the past.
I resonate with this a lot. Relationships are forged with time, and many of use notice a falling off of relationships when we clarify our personal purpose and mission. Once we become clear about what we're really here to do, we begin to see the aspects of our lives that hold us back. I'm so glad to hear you've found the rarified hearts of this world. They don't advertise, but they are always there if you send out an intention to find them. Yes, your work paid off, but what kind of work do you think paid off the most?
Stay strong.
Edit:
Oh almost forgot. I completely agree with Lyra's point about conversation crossover. I'll admit, I've been guilty of compartmentalization (wow that's a big word once you type it) in the past, but once you think about it you can really see that it's true. Parallel conversations on other threads are important to keep in mind. However, keep in mind that it's usually counterproductive to bring up negative occurrences in the past. After all, aren't we most effective when we live in the eternal "now"?
Wow, he said that? Unbelievable. (Try to get a sense that I sound like Father Guido Sarducci for effect. If you even know who that is. Maybe I could drum up a recording. )
]]> How helpful. This place is like group therapy for me sometimes. A lot of folks around my age are definitely having a tough time, so I would advise anyone else here who is going through similar things to definitely have the perspective that it is something we are ALL working on right now and not feel like you are a big loser or anything. It takes a lot of work and patience, and yeah my school totally was telling me I'd have NO PROBLEM when I got out, tons of jobs to pick from, I don't even want to mention what sort of wage they were insisting we'd be able to make our first year out of school..... oooh, those big liars! Shoogie I have had the same thoughts as you about these issues, for sure! I like your user icon too, Mononoke Hime was a beautiful film.Sedna, when you said Yakov Swerdlow, I totally read it as Yakov Smirnov and for a moment I was stunned that Stewart Swerdlow was related to that goofy russian comic from the 80s! "In Soviet Russia, kundalini activates YOU!"
Tim
]]>]]>His great-uncle, Yakov Sverdlov, was the first president of the Soviet Union, and his grandfather helped form the Communist Party in the United States in the 1930s. To ensure that his loyalties stayed with the US government, he was "recruited" for specific government mind-control experiments which enhanced his natural abilities.
He spent years in service to various US and foreign government agencies and special interest groups. His mind and body were used for genetic and mind-control experiments which led to severe illness, broken relationships, and premature Kundalini activation
By Theodore Roethke
( this is a lead in to a post I am working on)
In a dark time, the eye begins to see,
I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;
I hear my echo in the echoing wood--
A lord of nature weeping to a tree,
I live between the heron and the wren,
Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.
What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance? The day's on fire!
I know the purity of pure despair,
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall,
That place among the rocks--is it a cave,
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.
A steady storm of correspondences!
A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,
And in broad day the midnight come again!
A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.
Dark,dark my light, and darker my desire.
My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,
Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?
A fallen man, I climb out of my fear.
The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind.
*HUGS*
You're both such unique and tuned-in people. It shows all over your posts. There must be something cool you can offer the world in terms of your unique gifts and talents that you could even charge an hourly fee for.
When I went from "grunt" jobs to doing my own thing with my healing practice (actually, I mostly worked as an actress first, but that didn't pay very well and had to be supplemented with the grunt jobs) ....it was quite interesting to set a dollar price for my time. Suddenly I didn't have to be held to some artificial construct like, "You're only worth 10$ an hour." I decided I was worth $50 an hour right off the bat. And before the energy draining got bad from my clients, it was wonderful! Especially since I could give myself a raise whenever I wanted to.
So don't rule out doing your own thing.
There's a famous Internet marketer in the UK named Sara Brown who spent years having her family bombard her with the usual "You need a JOBBBB it's the only thing that's SECUREEEE ...PENSION PENSION PENSION." They truly thought that because she was doing work they didn't understand, she was some kind of terrorist or something:) Meanwhile, she was quietly doing launches of various products that brought in five figures a pop.
Well, she recently mentioned in one of her newsletters that these same two family members (My guess would be she's talking about her parents) BOTH just got suddenly laid off....and since they're older, it's going to be very hard for them to FIND A JOBBBBB....and POOF, there goes SECURITYYYYY (which is an illusion, anyway.) So now she's in the position of trying to teach them how to be self-sufficient, and it's all been quite humbling for those family members.
Try to ignore the societal conditioning and find your OWN path amidst the weird messages you receive from "adults." They don't know nothin'!
LM aka Jennifer
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