While I was working for the lady on the estate, I found myself with one leg in the physical world and one in the etheric. What clues I documented with my camera only confirm to myself that she was crazier than I.  What held me steadfast was the love I inherited from the wonderful family that birthed and raised me.  I understand the genetic aspects to negative attachments, as well as the richness passed down through generations that protects those of sincere intentions.

In her hallway sat a walnut chest.  I remember it well, because I was promised by my grandmother that I would inherit this same exact victorian style chest, one that my nanna told me my great, great grandfather hand-built on his farm in Minnesota. This chest was taken before the estate auction by my aunt in disregard for its intended place with my grandmother's heir, the grandson who was inspired by this chest to become a furnituremaker/cabinetmaker/carpenter/poet.  My aunt took it to Santa Barbara and now it ends up here, in Northern California, in the home of a woman who clearly faces her karmic legacy daily. I have pictures.  The only chances that are possible explainations for this chest not being the one my grandmother promised me is if either the story about my great great grandfather building this wasn't actually accurate, or that he built the chest from a set of drawings ordered through the mail; and hardware, applied carvings, etc. were purchased in addition. With all possible senarios in mind, I am still taken aback and forever appreciative of the experience with the fringes of the occult I witnessed last year.

In so many examples, the successes supported by prominence, dominance, sophistication, and wealth accumulation become the generational inheritance of spiritual failure.  Sociopathy seems to me the dominant trait rewarded up the ladder of success.  For the higher up I travel, the less people can relate to my inherited legacy of empathy, compassion, and creativity.  I become a handyman/master in a system that rewards image over substance, subsidizing mediocrity at the expense of sound mind.  The spiritual growth from this path of mine has brought great riches to my family, and a satisfaction not seen with my educational accomplishment or my past compliances to further a system of double standards which would keep my own grandchildren from their rightful pursuit of happiness.

Find a rich pond and cast your humbled services.  There are always fish of many colors and sizes to choose from.  No fly has caught a fish that lay in the creel of procrastination. Go find the flow of new possibilities to serve those who school around the rush and reed for their next morsel of fat arthropod.  To be consumed totally is your fate, and here begins the transformation. To serve others with unconditional love is in the greatest service to Self. Let go and grow abundantly, but do not digest the poison of the system-- let it dissipate into thin air.  The spirits will deal with these volatile substances that permiate the swampy areas. Flyfishing has mostly to do with simply getting out in the world where abundant possibilities are found, and letting nature decide what is worth your while.  I never come home empty, although I don't always catch fish.

I just don't fit in anywhere, and when my time is up at a job I know all I can do is just move on to the next step.  And amazingly the next job is already lined up perfectly, as long as I make that leap.

The growing and expanding individual never "fits" anwhere, it seems.  The beauty of freedom is intertwined with the lesser understood rejections we face.  What society calls "failure" may just be the opportunity for independence and vital change that one needs in this short lifetime.  Who would reward that which they could not control? Control comes in two forms: threat and promise. The individual wants freedom. Freedom has a relationship with responsibility.  What employment opportunity would grant independence, responsibility, and freedom at greater proportions than the top bosses.? Of course the free-thinking, spirited individual has to be eventually rejected by the group--this the first step in the 1000 mile journey to self-sufficiency and personal liberty.  The established do not know this path.  Why would one want to "fit" into a group that rejects the thoughts of anything other than security, conformity, and guaranteed monotony?

The successfull rarely can quit when they are ahead--for fear of losing their gains.  The failure was without prospects when they hired on to a position, therefore, what loss can be incurred other than finding oneself right back in the position they were when they started--searching for opportunity? America was greatest when it stood for "the land of opportunity".  Now that it is controlled by the upper 5%, which we call "success", the majority of people who are successful at holding positions are fearful and anxiety-ridden. If this is not failure, then please give me a more accurate definion of the dismal state for which I could find myself in.  When opporunity is abundant, the individual has many chances to seek new and more fulfilling possibilities; I call this freedom.  Success to me is not a goal to achieve but rather a goal to aspire to.  Stagnation and despair come to those who no longer challenge themselves with greater prospects. 

Be grateful you still have a spirit to guard.

"Protect your spirit with your life"
~~carefulcarpenter

titmouse, you wrote on another thread (Revelations of the Insider) about your work too:

I just finished a job for the daughter of a feeder/lawyer/prominent citizen.  She has breast cancer and is unable to heal properly--she is slowly dying. I was there to help her, but she never inquired. She knew I had been sent by greater forces, and she acknowledged this awareness, but never asked the questions. She was a challenge, and I willingly took the job knowing I was in for a bumpy ride. In the end I DID get paid. The most important lesson I can teach about freedom is how an independent worker gets paid. I've been cheated by the best feeders in the past because I didn't pay attention to my heart. The signals start right up front and one can "feel" better than one can "think".

I discovered on this job some of the most profoundly spiritual and dark aspects to the human condition. I walked into hell(metaphorical) and was paid in full. The manipulation and deceit had little overal effect on me--I was prepared. I could tell a story that would curl your socks, but I won't. I'll leave that to Steven King to write about.  It was like living in real life a dream--and I took some pictures to back up what I saw.

Why am I free?  ...and why is it that almost no one recognizes that I am? What do I know that the feeders don't?

I would like to hear more about this story, and also the answers to your questions-lala

Let me give it a try.

I find people, or should I say, the universe aids in me being in the right place for the right needs. For four years I have been finding work via synchronicity.  I have a fair understanding how it works and have found an interesting path that seems to be leading to amazing spiritual growth.  Some people say that guides help us; one customer said they believe in guardian angels and asked me if I was theirs.  All I can say is I end up in very interesting and timely places working for special cases.  I say I work for those who don't have enough.  What I do is the complicated work that has been left undone--for one reason or another. It is  usually not the physical work that draws me to the people I find, but a spiritual void in their lives, and I seem to be called upon by forces greater than my conscious awareness.

In the case refered to here, the lady told me about some deep aspects to her life and the life of her house.  She said the reason she called me is that I left my card on her door hours after she had decided to call someone in to do a complicated job.  She said it was shocking that the "carefulcarpenter" had left his card, as though there was a psychic connection between us that day.  When we sat out on the short brick wall that borders her property, along the street, she told me more.  She said she believed the house was haunted, or jinxed, and had been for three generations. She informed me that the people who owned the house in the 60's had had problems finishing the house and that the husband had killed the wife in the house. Her parents bought the house and planned to finish restoring the property, but they also had many relationship problems that ended in divorce, and they never finshed the work they planned.  She had been raised there and her father left her the house as an inheritance.  She and her husband had been trying to work on the house themselves, but she came down with cancer 4-5 years earlier and she was finding it difficult to finish the job. She was having great difficulty healing; the lesions on her chest would not heal.  And she said her husband left townto go surfing in Southern California for a couple weeks.

What she wanted the carefulcarpenter to do was to remove a toilet from the center bathroom of the house. She believed that it was the source of all the problems over the years and her husband had not done as she asked, so when the day he left she decided to call someone.  I place my card soon after on her door.  She told me originally over the phone that she had plenty of work for me, yet it took her alwost two weeks before she actually called back and committed to hiring me.  In response to her tales of doom and possession I replied, "Well, you called the right person to do the job."  She said, "It seems as though God has sent you to me."

When I was finished removing the sink and placing it in the garage I called my good old friend from college, Ms. G (the woman I might have married under other circumstances), on my cell phone and asked her what color the toilet is that I just removed from the bathroom of a rich lady.  She thought it was rather a weird question and relied, "You want me to guess what color a toilet is?  I said, "Yes, of course, I just thought you might like to hear a strange and synchronistic story.  She guessed, "Periwinkle??".  "Yes, of course!! Periwinkle".  I told her briefly about the reasons and told her it was the first toilet I've ever been asked to remove, and that, of course it was periwinkle.  "Now" the other bathroom, the kids bathroom, what color are the walls?"  She said"  "Periwinkle??"  "Yes, periwinkle!!".

In the last year periwinkle has been a clue whenever a profound synchronicity occurs with either Ms.G and/or myself.  The story behind this event was much more than just coincidence.

After removing the toilet, the lady had me do some other skilled work such as drilling he new cabinet doors and placing handles on them. Then I varnished a few straight-grained fir doors, and painted a wall.  After two days of work she said she couldn't afford me any longer. I said thank you and as I was leaving her husband came home and before I had cleaned up and loaded my truck he came out and thanked me for helping them out. The tilework, the kid's bathroom vanity, and a few other things she mentioned were set on hold.  I often get promised many things up front from people who later change their minds for reasons related to money.  Of course the Mexican pool workers kept on working on the new pool.

I succeeded in helping the woman with a complicated and strange job, but in the end my good work left me feeling a failure.  She made it very clear that I was just too expensive!  ( I charge about 1/3 what it would have cost to have a plumber come out to do a small job); and no plumber would have been so kind and loving to her as I was those two days. 

"Why am I free?"   I manage my own time; I do the complicated work and it is difficult to find people like me, so I can always find work; I work where I want to work; and I know myself.

"Why don't people recognize that I am free?"  I perceive this because people don't seem to ask me questions that indicate they recognize my freedom.  I suppose this statement has always had some truth to it--"To know one is to be one".  A recent comment from a master landscaper/designer lead me to make this statement--"You recognize my mastery because you too are a master".  He smiled.    A master recognizes confidence; the insecure see arrogance.

"What do I know that the feeders don't?"  I know myself; they don't really know who they are or what they want--this is why they feed on the positive energy of others.  They know how to play on the hidden needs of their targets.  Those who hire me and explain how they really don't have money, or how I'm not valuable or worthy by their standards,  don't realize I came into their world to help them.  They don't realize that my skills actually make their houses worth far more than the hourly rate they pay me.  If they were as generous as they want to think of themselves when they hire a handyman who needs work, they would make out really well with whatever work I do.  They just don't realize what is right in front of their faces. They don't realize I am far less expensive than a therapist, yet am willing to lend an attentive and loving ear.

Example: my current customer is very aware that he is going to make 4 times the appreciation in his home for the money he spends with me.  He is not a feeder, and he has shared some astounding facts about the appraisals he has had.  He is a kind man who knows the worth of a hardworking handyman.  I give him something he can't get from the other professionals he hires--love, compassion, and true admiration.  His carpenter son died three years ago; his wife last year.  He never really knew his son, he said.  I hugged him the other day after he gave me half of a cake a friend baked him.  He's worth millions, yet he recognizes the value of an honest common man.

I hope that adaquately answers some of my questions for you. 

I admire your confidence in trusting the truth of this. My confidence in my role like this has been shaken to the core and I am succumbing to the idea that I did, indeed, waste my life by living a delusional spiritual fantasy. The power that the material world has on me is very frightening to me right now. I am surrounded by people who talk about money, making money, wealth, using spirituality to gain wealth, buying things, expensive vacations, etc. etc. almost  continuously; it is hard for me to believe right now, that I have made the proper choices in life.

So, I appreciate both of your positive inductions into trusting letting go and see where your true path is.-lala

Well my confidence is probably more foolhardy than spiritual.  I just don't fit in anywhere, and when my time is up at a job I know all I can do is just move on to the next step.  And amazingly the next job is already lined up perfectly, as long as I make that leap.  I can't hang on for the long haul, I always prefer to move on instead of moving up.  I think sometimes my true role is to come in a shake things up and transform energy.  On a purely physical level it might mean reorganizing an office, but this would be symbolic of transformation on other levels.  On an interpersonal level I tend to draw out the best and the worst in others so there are no more secrets and others finally see behavior for what it really is.  Sometimes I end up being the whistleblower who brings problems to light that everyone else is too scared to complain about.  At one of my previous jobs other people latched on to me as being the one who could "save" them from all the insanity they had created in their environment, and I had to leave because it was bigger than me.  I was getting sucked down in it and couldn't do anything to change it.  But even when I go down, I still try to go out in a blaze of glory.  I don't know how many of my previous employers would consider me to have had a positive influence!  LOL

I would like to hear more about this story, and also the answers to your questions-lala

You made no indication you meant 3D vs 4D in your initial post. It trends out that usually to succeed in the 3D costs you in the 4(+)D. But there again you need to define success (since anything short of that is technically a failure)so 'it depends" is still the answer.

Perhaps the biggest issue is still a persons attachment, value, power they have given to money coaxing their actions that defines the success and failure for that person.

As Z gets at a real test is to succeed 3D and gain in the 4D as well.

It is possible... be conscious and claim responsibility for every thought and action surrounding money/wealth.

Even deeper (on a smaller, narrow scale)is that the conclusion if something is a success or failure is up to that person. My conclusion just adds an attachment that may hinder the person.

For me if I "succeed" at something yet I wind up less of a person than yes my success is ultimately a failure (3D or 4D) however if my success winds up with me being a "better" person, raising my vibration level then yes it was a success and is a success and NOT a failure.

So Success CAN be a failure and success CAN be a success.
Funny thing is failure CAN be a failure and failure CAN be a success.

Humility is always a great teacher. IMO, this is because we are to experience what it is to be small and imperfect while experiencing within this incarnation, to better understand the truth of our essence produced by crisis and observation. This is because your HS is not limited by these things, but is regulated by conscience and an understanding of consequences. Sometimes it's best to leave something undisturbed, because the timing isn't right.

-3G

I'm happy for you and I can appreciate your thread topic, I have bascially "ruined" several good mainstream careers because of my inability to work with rigid institutions, to live a lie, to move up the food chain. I am always being encouraged to live my dream (of being succesful) by others, but this has never been my dream unless I can find something that I can live with doing and make good money doing it.
Athenais wrote:

I admire your confidence in trusting the truth of this. My confidence in my role like this has been shaken to the core and I am succumbing to the idea that I did, indeed, waste my life by living a delusional spiritual fantasy. The power that the material world has on me is very frightening to me right now. I am surrounded by people who talk about money, making money, wealth, using spirituality to gain wealth, buying things, expensive vacations, etc. etc. almost  continuously; it is hard for me to believe right now, that I have made the proper choices in life.

So, I appreciate both of your positive inductions into trusting letting go and see where your true path is.-lala

Neither success nor failure exist fundamentally, which is why it may be said that in essential terms both success and failure are conventionally one and the same thing.

I can say right now with a fair bit of confidence that your present spiritual breakthrough/awakening/enlightenment is a failure disguised as a success.. I think what you're doing is basically great, and your work sounds noble and fulfilling... but speaking more profoundly, the best teacher is always the best student, so don't stop now!

To be honest, what puzzles me most is how you distinguish between your ego, intuition, HigherSelf, and logic. You still have much work to do, which can only proceed if you are fearless about facing all your "successes" that hold you where you are, that slow your evolution.

It's great that the moment humbles you, but it is greater still if you humble the moment.. and you better believe that the moment cannot be fooled with fake tricks! True humility is audacity to go beyond your potential. As long as success satisfies you, then your success will always be failure, per the working of duality. But if you strive neither towards success nor away from failure, then you can fundamentally enjoy either/both conventional illusions at your whim.

It is difficult for me to know what to say to you here.. I do not know your entire situation or life history, your astrological sign, your personal beliefs and convictions, etc.. obviously I am taking the approach of devil's advocacy, which I find to generally be the most helpful... if you want my honest opinion, then my greatest fear for you is that you are straying towards the fluffy side, which is neither LHP nor RHP I might add, but which is rather a primary symptom of the spiritual confusion of our time.

I am very happy for you, happy to hear that you are "fearless" and "at peace"! I hope that you are these things, however, in a healthy way!

I will come back to this thread soon with more thoughts.

Namaste

Here is a small snapshot of the current work. First I fixed his ceiling where water had ruined the plaster. Then I asked if I could make him some money, so he let me do the kitchen cabinets. Now he wants to tell the world what he discovered.  How can I succeed if he tells the world?  They will not believe a handyman did this kind of work. The real work shows in his smile. You can't place a material value on that.

I hope you can appreciate why "catch and release" has so much spiritual value to me.  I live an authentic, poetic life. I am so rich.

"I fix broken hearts...I am your handyman"
~~James Taylor

Beautiful neat work!
Even better if it is a portal like the wardrobe from the 'The Chronicles of Narnia' 

Why would a master need to go door to door?

I wondered for years--"What am I missing?" ; "What am I not doing correctly?"

I worked for a high-end furniture company that has the best image in the local market.  They hired me on the spot when they were in need of an installer.  At first they offered me $30/hr (1999).  I asked if they would consider a percent (piece work) situation, where they dictated to me what I was worth to complete the work as a sub-contract employee. By the last 6 months of the year I was making $100/hr and had not had even one return service call on my work.  January 12th they fired me. Why?

The owner said, It's your 'quality', CC".

A year later I was working for another company where one of their cusomers was very authentic and respectful of my work, so I took the liberty to ask why a successful company would get rid of someone who performed at the top of their ability.  I told him the story.

He said, "They didn't say they let you go because of your 'poor quality' did they?

I said, "Aha!! No they didn't!!"

They got rid of me because I was so much better and more productive than the rest of the workers, and my rate of pay was better than the CEO's; I had to be broken and discarded.  Now when I go door to door, people who know this practice will give me a chance to prove myself.  America does not live by it's image of success--this is the false ego-image. It succeeds by most people willing to negotiate their worth downward.  This is capitalism. They must reward the mediocre with security and self-esteem and cast off "the keystones".  This means failure is the root of your freedom--not succeess; although the wisdom behind  "Succees IS failure" is more evident to those who have another wisdom.....

"Love thyself; know thyself"

I have learned from those honest enough with themselves to have aided me on my path in life.  They knew I was rich by other measures than money and status.  Independent people always seem to fight the same fight as I have.  If you want to advance in the system you have to play by the rules.  I am a rebel.  The new revolution will be the individual.  The system has been fighting a covert war against the individual because it knows that the "second coming" will be a grass roots effort which supports the individual.  Freedom is for those courageous enough to know themselves, and to crusade for the right of self-expression.

I go door to door so that the people who have influence in the system can no longer convince others to  believe the lies--"You just can't find good people any more" or "the best people are just too expensive".

You may find that your greatest freedom comes from temporary work. Most people cannot function without supervision. A temporary employee lets the scoudrels of the hook, because when they don't need you any longer they don't have to make up phoney reasons for why 'you are unproductive/unprofitable/unmanageable/etc'.   You should be self-employed, at least partime.