Sitting here thinking about what I would like to do with my life has put me in a state of confusion, which reminds me of somethign else I have learned:  I have also seen lately when I become overwhelmed and feel absolutely confused, if I just sit back and shut down the thoughts in my head, I am really not confused.  I know the answers to what I am thinking about, and the confusion is really just a screen that keeps me from seeing what I know.  Just sit back relax, let the thoughts and confusion fade away, and realise you know the answer.

I did the quit-your-job-and-don't-worry-what-comes-next thing back in April of this year. It was the best thing I could have done at the time. I came across a job position online and had another job within 5 days. But I was also able to take 4 weeks off in between and do nothing but unwind and relax. Now I have a very easy, stress-free job where I'm getting paid to do something I enjoy and would do in  my free time anyway. How sweet is that?

I trust my intuition now more than ever and I've found that you should always follow even the slightest hunch. You'll always be happier that you did.

I too have taken in an interest in things that I used to consider a "waste of time," including small talk socializing, and also just sitting and doing "nothing." Just sit, turn off your mind, and stare at things. Even still objects can be fascinating to observe when you're in a playful frame of mind. Or close your eyes and just listen to the sounds around you. It can be very relaxing at least and at most entertaining.

I had an in depth discussion today with a Holostic Dr. I see every Wednesday.  He is somewhat of a psychologist with a metaphysical viewpoint, but I basically pay him 50$ a week to have a worthwhile conversation over metaphysical concepts.  Today I discussed the state of the world and tried to give him an idea of the powerstructures, and polarities involved on this plane.

Back to the topic of this thread the search for purpose.  With the help of others here I am not at an understanding that quite possibly it is the journey that is what is important not the destination.  My Dr. has told me happiness is not a destination, its the journey.  Its started to sink in.  I have been sitting around waiting for the answers of the world, like my purpose and the universal truths to fall into my lap.  However finding out these things is not a realization, its a journey that must be done piece by piece bit by bit.  The cassiopeans said that "If something is given for free, it is not worth it".  Likewise from the webpage quoted by google, Castenada mentions that all paths lead to nowhere, it is the path itself that can have heart.  I will add one more metaphysical concept to this.  Eckhart tolle speaks that there is no such thing as Past, or Future.  There is only NOW.  There were NOW's in the Past, and there will be a NOW in the future, but the past and future don't exist.  Take a look around you now and realise that is all that exists, things don't happen or exist at any point other then NOW.  Similarly, if you set your sites on a goal at the end of a path, like I have been doing it may never come.  And if it does, what then, you have to set another goal to give your life meaining.  Meanwhile all the time you are pursuing this goal you are missing out on the only thing that truly exists, NOW, or the journey/path you are on.  I need to make sure what I am doing NOW, and that the path that I am on feels right.  Afterall no matter where any path I take in life leads me, when I die I will be in the same place.

I have been trying to apply the above concepts too my life and I must admit, it has made an improvement in my outlook.  I can even look at all these depressing things, and not let them depreess me, as I know that is the way they are and must be.  My worrying will do little more then to drive me into depression, in which condition I am of little constructive use to society.  All these rationalization don't mean anything to a persons emotions, the single concept that is giving me strength is acceptance of the way things are, as the way they are.  For quite some time I have been running from the Now, as I found all the things in the NOW unpleasant.  The more I have allowed myself to accept the situation I am in the more my state of mind has been allowed to improve. 

I have been trying to socialize more now.  I used to think it was unproductive and pointless unitll I discovered absolutely everything is unproductive and pointless.  This concept first led me into depression, but I am beginging to feel that if I can learn to accept this concept, I will begin to gain the freedom to follow my heart with no worries of wasting my time. My dad told me the other day to "hurry up, your wasting time"  I was pleased with the response, "There is no such thing as a waste of time", because everything is a waste of time.  It's quite liberating once you can accept it.  Once you realize these principles, then there is the possibility to realize that there is nothing more important then that which feels right to you. 

If you are interested in how I arrived at the conclusion that everything is waste of time, I can elaborate.  I have been jotting down more and more of my ideas recently so that I can learn to communicate my ideas better in the written form.

Hey Captain,

I definitely know exactly what you are going through, however, I feel and think that life ain't one big bowl of cherries, as corny and cliche that sounds. I, too, have been "depressed" for a while. I am 23 and this has been going on and off for about 9-10 years or so. So for a while, I've been internally bickering, wondering "why am I not "normal" like the rest of my friends, who have life alot easier than me? Why do I have a crazy family? Fickle friends that come and go? WAHH". You seriously just got to change your perspective because I have this deep feeling that things will work out for you in the end with your search for a more meaningful life full of purpose, etc. Honestly, please take comfort that you are even depressed at the moment, wondering what the hell is going on in your life, but don't wallow in it. Use it constructively, then go on with what you figured out to do. Alot of people I know in my little life are not even sleeping, but literally walking and dead (the latter not literally...I think). They don't question much and if they do, it's under a superficial lens like "I just got my dream car!!" But, seriously, like the awesome articles Montalk wrote, shift your perspective and think positive. Easier said than done, but you must start somewhere and sometime because it's so easy to fall; effortless really. You are so much more than what you think! I don't even know you, but based on what I've been seeing with your writings, you on the right path for sure and would be a shame for you to throw it away because of stagnation. One thing that helps me is looking and playing with dogs. It really lightens me up and puts tons of perspective, seeing how simple, happy and funny dogs are. It's that feeling they give off that literally cleanses the crap that you are going through. Nature does the same thing, but I am limited to my access to nature since I live in NYC, so dogs it is!

On a lighter note...

I saw you posted the peace corps thing and I lit up like a cheap, white Christmas tree with blue lights. I am on the same page like many are on NR Forum with the school thing. I simply cannot finish up because I know the timing isn't right and just find the material they teach at my college just super boring and complete crap, for lack of a better term. Anyways, to make a long story short, you put a cool idea in my head, so hey, you served a purpose for me, so thanks man! I'll toy with that idea and see what happens. I hope our posts on NR helped ya! Take care.

I'm reminded of Don Juan's words "Does this path have a heart?"

http://www.totallyok.com/quotes/wisdom.htm

I'm trying to put more of this philosophy into my life.

For a while I thought that I needed to prepare for some disaster in the form of economic collapse, WWIII armegeddon or something.  I now believe that the most important preperation that can be made for the future is spiritual rather then physical, after all your body will eventually die regardless of whether or not you live through an armagedon, however your soul will live on as long as this universe exists.

You know the karate Kid movie. The scene around the painting of the fence. The mundane tasks hiding secret karate moves ?

Well, I have been unplugging since 1985. I saw the end time scenareos and figured myself had better live a double life. Mundane waste of time in the 3d material world and the spiritual meditations and magical world etc. My `just in case` method prepared for the `if push came to a shove` scenareo of world economy collapse that would render our current modern skills useless. Then I travelled the Far East, witnessing people farming, building their own housing, and sharing within villages the basic materialds of life. I now spend my time watching how traditional villiages do it, You know, with little electricity etc..

The solution came to mind. I asked myself, if i expect collapse of this dark society, what are my current personal skills/mundane city skills, what are they useful, in the newer societies after the fall ?

i noticed you already have a wide base of ambitions. Whilst doing nothing for a couple of years, i learned to manipulate my energy body down to within the bones and within the organs including the glands, as well as study humanity.
I spend one year looking at the weather patterns all day, every day from my bedroom window. I learned most of what i know through idleness.

I am now currently preparing for world domination (I kid you not), it takes a single person or a small group to changes the world. So history always repeats.. But I am also a remote healer and use magic to obtain whatever miracle a small society may eventually need in the future. You sound as if you already have skills for the future. But do you believe that society will prevail the way it is ?

If not, i suggest you do a google search on the rainbow warriors, they design cultural cleansing retreats for free. teaching the basic crafts of sustainable living. If you hold that knowledge/Bushcraft, and go to the corps, you are living a double purpose and perhaps are more ready for any future that most people ever could. Good luck.

That writing reminded me of Che the revolutionist. Why is revolution still a dirty word.

I guess in a way everything we do here is "useless"  which is what was getting me down.  But conversly because the only thing that is important is for your soul  to learn, anything you do here is a learning experience and almost by definition the most important thing you can do.  That being said I think I might like to do the things which give me the greatest feeling of accomplishment.  So I am trying now to establish a set of morals by which I can measure my progress and accomplishment towards my values. 

On top of that the 2012 issue, that does seem to be a significant time marker for change in humanity.  Time isn't stable enough to predict future dates, but the sheer fact that if enough people focus on 2012 as a date for change we maybe able to manifest the change process at that point in time. 

Dylanfarms:  There is no such thing as facts.  Theories are all that exist.  Almost no human understanding is complete, and because of the variabilty of things possibly we can never have a complete understanding.  When we do understand everything that will be the day we join with god.  Theories are the most important things that exists in the mind.  From theories comes the truths of reality, and the bad theories eventually die away.  Human societies discover these truths and society crumbles and they are lost, only to be discovered again by the next civilization. 

This leads me to my next point that every corporate job is a waste of talent.  Everything thats created on this earth will one day be destroyed.  Thats why the only truly important product is that which builds your sould which is eternal, till the end of time.  I work for an engineering firm and we spend all day laying out how to do things that don't need to be layed out.  We waste our time following procedures and cutting red tape.  I am of the opinion that almost all western jobs are simply to occupy the parts of the day that taking care of your mortgage, kids, credit card bills, medical expenses, etc takes up so you have no free time left over to invest in discovering the truth.  The truth that we are more then evolved monkeys, we are higher beings that are traped in human bodies and raised like human cattle by some invisible beings, for reasons that I don't yet compltety grasp. 

Last point, the tower of babel marked the last point in history where the minds of the world tried to link up with one another.   So that knowlege would be universal, people would be have at their beconing every idea thought of on the earth to expand upon, to debate, all transfered with at the speed of thought.  The danger this caused of humanity discovering the true purpose of the alien overlords, as well as the possibility of us sheding their scourge from the planet prompted them to destroy the tower of babel, a tower designed to allow power telepathic communication.  Humans who knew nothing exept telepathic communication having lost that ability were forced to invent spoken languagues, all of which were different, creating the many dialects in the world. 

This whole response was totaly off subject but upon reading Dylanfarms responses I felt obliged to respond.

Great! That was a good move, looking back at those answers. As I was reading them last night, I was hoping you'd give them another look and reflect on how things have changed. Or maybe things have stayed relatively the same.

I'm also glad you have some beliefs in reincarnation and karma, because I was going to arrive at my impression that time is linear in our experience as physical beings, but in the limbo that is the post-death, pre-birth phase, that time is selective, and we have just as much power to choose our lives for their importance and significance as hyper-dimensional intelligence has access to the timeline of our Earth.

So, in that respect, I firmly believe that you and me and other dudes are here for a reason. Let's not make any big-budget-movie fantasies about it, though. In honesty, its all about learning... and sitting through your life has about the same effect as sitting bored as hell in school. Only it's our life, our freewill, that expands our options so we don't always have to sit through the same routine day in day out... Because its our life we can !!!FREAK OUT!!! or spend time behind books.... or spend time behind a flickering screen.

It's all up to you, dude. I'm going through the same shit though. I'm a college student studying a dead end subject (film production - but I don't want to whore myself out to Hollywood), I don't want to be the model alumni and I don't want to give my money back to the Institute because I don't have any respect for these conventions that I feel are worn and worthless.

I get down on myself sometimes because there is no one I can personally, physically approach with all these HUGE questions that just pile up, like you said. But I am very confident that we are never alone... the Universe is full of consciousness and its rooting for you to do the best you think you can in whatever you want.

Now, its time to listen to some good music or draw something cool to hang up on the wall, don't you think? Or is it time to hit the books again because 2012 is coming and you know... tick tock tick tock

A lot of the advice from that thread was to be content with who I am and don't continuously try to make myself into someone else.  There was a lot of other good advice on there as well.  I have it stuck in my head that a big change in lifestyle is what I need to put me on the right path.  It sounds more like all paths lead to the same destination, just some may take longer.

As for my beliefs and how they pertain to the supernatural world.  I believe in aliens and that they are the gods of most religions.  They however are not God, and God if anything is the amalgamation of all that is.  I believe in higher dimensions and nonphysical realms which are all synonymous to me to ethereal planes and heaven and what have you.  I believe in reincarnation and Karma and am under the impression that neither is as simple as they are commonly percieved.  I am not able to understand the concept of life cycles or timelessness, as I don't really understand what time is yet. 

I am willing to change my beliefs if I find an explaination that seems to better describe what I percieve in Reality.

Cedison:  yes I have read the responses to part 1.  I have a problem were I begin to forget things that I know I need to do.  I think holding an active conversation helps me straighten out the mess inside my head.  Perhaps I need to go back to part 1 to remind myself of everyones helpfull contributions.  I thought that I was advancing the premise at least a little bit with this post, but perhaps I just reiterated everything I covered before.  One of the major themes I was adressing in finding a purpose part 1 was depression.  Depression has been able to take as big a hold on me recently so now I am trying to give myself something to work for were I can feel accomplishment as I progress towards it.  Money does not give me a sense of acomplishment.  A lot of this knowlege that I have come across has become more of a burden at present then a liberator. 

The details of my beliefs will take a long response, perhaps later.  In short yes to reincarnation, to the ethereal worlds, to the spirit body, genetic body, and physical body.  I do not believe in many of the enforced beliefs of civil society and therfore don't see a problem with disobeying some of that stuff. 

HULK: The matrix is everything that you experience in this life.  However when I refered to unplugging, I meant more from the mind programing that we recieve.  The preception that you need to get to the top, get rich, work in a coporation, get a college degree, get a wife, get a house.  Almost every system of beliefs that people are aware of on this earth is some system of control.  I meant unplugging from those false beliefs.