You might want to read the latter bits of "the insidier" link since it is so clear on the kinds of things that influence us and the fact that we have a choice in this, choosing to start from where we are and working on ourselves instead of merely waiting for things to improve.
The most useless this is the self pity, (why me?) the impatience, and the inertia.
This coasting along with no discipline or temperance. Expecting things to be handed out, or someone to make things better for us.
See the insider post for a good definition of that aspect and our personal responsibility.
THanks and keep going!  Jay   

I can definitely see that whatever I am dealing with does not want me to maintain the same level of thinking and feeling. This is a constant struggle due to the fact that what I am dealing with thrives only in darkness as you mentioned in your last letter. As long as I am ignorant my problem will remain. Techniques themselves just wont cut it. Knowledge of what is happening to me in my life is the only remedy which is why I have chosen not to feel as though I know whats going on. One of the most severe and dramatic things thats happening to me right now is a sensation I can feel moving into my lower sex organs or root chakra "energy center". This rush of energy I feel is causing my mood and feelings to drop in an outrageous way. I start off feeling angry when it happens at first and then Ill cry sometimes which is what happened today. The feeling is bad enough to make me want to off myself when it happens. Its a sick dirty feeling behind it similar to being raped when it happens. I have a really good feeling that my enviroment has alot to do with it as well. I am in desperate need of the truth of my life. Its too difficult to live in limbo and theres no turning back. I do not chose to live like this taking my life and the situation I am dealing with as lightly as its been taken when Ive talked to others about it. The most open and honest people Ive come across were psycic and everything they told me came to pass which explains my importance in this world along with going through all the things Ive went through. Its as though they have given me pieces to this puzzle. The pieces of this puzzle that was given was knowledge in order to empower and strengthen me. My only wish would be to have the rest of those pieces in order to resolve this matter. I do believe in what you told me before which is the fact that there isnt any good or evil only ignorance. I do not chose to be ignorant. YHWH bless.

Your fellow soldier in this beautiful struggle.
Marlo

I have to report that going "through this problem" with you, helped me to clarify problems i am having as well.

I have no choice but to take my own advice to you, and thoroughly let go of a fight i am having with my "lower selves".
I feel better just knowing in my bones that i can see it instead of just blindly resisting it.

Cause "seeing it" is REALLY doing something about it energetically.
These things cannot survive the light of day, they thrive in darkness.
so together we open the doors and windows and let some fresh air in!
peace my friend.

I just wanted to let you know that I took your advice as far as sitting in silence and it worked really well!

Thanks for everything and YHWH bless!
Marlo

Thanks and YHWH bless!
Marlo

Thats a beautiful picture of you. Do you do any modeling by any chance? Im an artist as I mentioned before. Starting my own clothing line is something that I aspire to do.

Marlo

What you wrote in your last letter gave me even more enlightenment to what seems to be going on. I see that theres a theme to the nature of all the things happening in my life. This theme is a fluctuation between both positive and negative forces in my inner world and outer world. Ive also noticed that I'm coming to the same realizations and enlightenment over and over again also. All of it is getting me to vibrate on the level of ridding myself of the ego which is my karmic lesson. Its almost as though its apart of me becoming more and more steady and grounded in the truth. Ive made a practice of questioning all that I see, hear, touch, smell, and taste knowing that the creator is at the source of all. In the past Ive had problems with sticking to positive practices like breathing meditation and mantra although  this is different. I have to admit that the effects its having on me are astounding. I feel as though I get lighter and lighter the more I do it feeling sensations of the presence of things lift off of me. I feel sensations in the back of my head as well which is where all nuerological impulses are sent. Its all getting me closer to the creator hense the saying that which doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. Thanks Jay.

PEACE!
Marlo

Marlo,
Because you interpret things as dramatic and important in some other-worldy way does not make you crazy.
However i personally reserve judgement on all that.
There is a lot i interpret differently from many people here.
Does that make me crazy?
No.
I am also very strong, and see very clearly, and only trust what i have seen and what i have learned and that does not include war on the astral plane, or any other plane!

Where i am it is peaceful and is harmonizing because i am peaceful and in tune with all realms interpenetrating at once.

But i am a WARRIOR like you. And i have "fought" long and hard to get to this place that is peaceful.
Though i believe i know what is meant by this "war" it does not require our active participation other than to see clearly, and get a grip on WHO WE ARE NOT.
NOT knowing is key here, thinking you know will trip you up every time until you awaken.

Identifying with any characters in the bible or any other book or movie is not going to help you to understand the truth!
We are not characters in a fantasy, this is where your veiw starts to go off and become paranoid or grandiose.

You are in human form at this point and have a brain that is biased towards that interpretation at this point. Question that. Be careful.
There are psychological reasons, and chemical reasons why you are interpreting it this way.

Do you enjoy this conflicted fantastic story that you are dreaming/ living?

If so, then go ahead without my help.
I can only help you in this world, not in the biblical fantasy or comic book interpretation that you are presently insisting on.

There is a dark and light to balance everything, without these seeming polarities, there would be no balance.
I do not believe in "evil", only ignorance. There is "bad", only if there is "good". There is wrong only because there is an interpreted "right".
You live in fear because you do not understand what is in front of you. Because there is a polarity and we are often switching between these polarities, does not make it a war!
Though there is conflict for many on a "soul" level, it is not necessary or "real" on another level.
It is because we identify with one side, the "good" side, when  all sides exist simply to balance each other out.... they are only a part of the whole which is the deeper reality.

You cannot imagine an isolated "good" or "light" side only,
they all belong together. You can learn to see from a greater distance, where they are natural ocurances that do not create conflict, because there is harmony in the totality of "reality".
If we become aware of the WHOLE rather than merely the parts, than fear of "dark or evil" falls away.
It is a play of "opposites", it is an illusion really.
The WHOLE is GOD or "reality"
"It" goes by many names but names are not important.

This is where the meditation comes in.
IT is looking with out judging, without being fooled by interpretation.

Yes i have had astral dreams all my life , OB experiences.
They are wonderful and peaceful because i have spent many years learning how to harmonize the realms. It was not always this way, as a child i was afraid of some it, and this sh*t freaked me out!
Now I don't find "another side" that is scary in it.
It is the same world but outside of our 3 dimensions, with out the
friction and strict rules. WE are in all dimensions simultaneously.
That is why you are drifting between them. You have lost some of your "grounding" in this dimension and weakened your connection with the strong chemicals that have changed the balance for you and how you perceive. Now your chemicals are "off", and fluctuate.

Drink lots of water, avoid alcohol and keep doing your art, it will help.

Here is where we differ in interpretation.  I have been "touched" by so called "demonic" forces in the past and have had to make an effort to deal with them...
I may be able to help you with how you can do it.
They do not control my reality at this point, do not play havoc with my life.
I do not fight them because i have defeated them by absorbing them back into the nether world they came from.

They are merely the dark side that accompanies the light and this is not our world...They come to teach...respect them, do not fear them.

Your consciousness belongs to the light, but because you have played with it, been tempted by it, and strayed into areas where you made yourself vulnerable...
you have been connected to the dark in some way.

You did not know it at the time, but now you bear the traces of playing with things you did not understand or know about.
You have no choice but to face them now...DO not fight them!
Fighting only makes them stronger.

This state is not permanent, but you must make an effort to return to clarity and freedom, and IT TAKES DISCIPLINE, patience,  and knowledge.

So far you have not shown much interest in any of that ..
and you are making a spectacle of your "self".
You must commit to finding your "ground" and reality again...
you must resolve to do this!

You are making yourself vulnerable to hellish realms by imagining you are something grand.
of course we are all special and have unique talents but....
The fact is:
They will chase you down until you come to terms with the inner truth that you are nothing other than a reflection of the source or "god",  though i prefer the source, because "god" is a loaded term that has associations that also sound very grand.

Think of it as "WHAT IS"...
you must come into alignment with
"what is", and this hallucination world, this "hellish realm", that you have stumbled into, will slow down enough and you can step out of it.
This is serious business and you must take it seriously, without whining and do the work necessary to return to the land of the living once again, a stronger and smarter person.

I am merely one spirit who has done so and am now free to the extent that i remain clear... it takes constant vigilance!!!!

We are never done working on ourselves, but there is a point where we actually accept responsibility for what is manifesting in us, and BEGIN WORKING in earnest.
Drop all this "believing" in things right now, and stop, look and learn, where you have fked up and try to get it straight.

#1) we are NONE of us special.
We are simply a reflection of the ONE that includes all.
Accept this truth (it is not a belief!) and you will begin towards freedom and become clearer,  different from the deluded masses running around in conflict ...do you see how this works?

#2) You DO NOT know who or what you are, because you have not experienced that directly for yourself yet. You are on a path to something more incredible, beautiful and fulfilling than you can possibly imagine.
But until then, realize that you are not awake and until you awaken, there is nothing else more worthy of doing in this life.
If you are a true "warrior" then that is what you came to do...awaken to the truth and drop all this "service to self" nonsense!
You cannot become what you truly are, until you drop the grand illusions of "being somebody" and begin to look humbly and simply!
You are spirit, but blind until you learn to see.

#3) The Way to learn to see is to become quiescent, remain still and alert in a circle of light and awareness.
This awareness begins with points 1&2 and progresses through the noise that now fills you mind. The visions and fantasies are not real in any fundamental way! Listen to it, but do not run from it.
IT CANNOT HURT YOU!
Don't turn away from it, watch it carefully and question if it is real!
You have the right to Question anything that appears to you!
You cannot escape it by running!
It will only pursue you wherever you go.
You must stop...turn and embrace all of it as YOURSELF.
There is nothing separate from you, no matter how strange it might seem. This is true strength and understanding

All of it is a part of reality, don't believe the separate seeming manifestations.
Prove you are a warrior to yourself and to "them", by standing your ground. NOW! do not fight. Nothing can hurt you inside yourself because you are what ever it is you are seeing.

I am not suggesting that you can stand in traffic and not get hurt!

But in the layers of confusion and conflict of your own psychic reality you are the only thing that can remain after all of it tries and fails to move you! Do you understand?
You are supreme in your own realm and everything else is chimerra.

Do not ascribe reality to the demons and beings in your psychic world, but pay attention to, and respect them all!
If you respect all, you will embrace all... and when you embrace them, the false will vanish, dissappear, go back to the mindground from which they came.

They are all merely parts of yourself that have become estranged from you.
If you fight them, you only give them strength by proving their existence.

The Tibettan book of the  dead says:
"Neither move towards or away from whatever appears",
whatever appears to you is only the one mind appearing in many forms and disguises.

Neither worship nor malign the spirits that inhabit your world, in that way you will find the balance to find your own ground again and be troubled by your visions no more.
ASK simple questions if have to...it is good practice...
then listen for the answers...in silence...
the truth does communicate in words in your head...you just know.
if you hear some one talking to you... question it's reality.

the silence is your friend, do not be afraid of it, but learn to listen, silence and questioning is your MOST powerful weapon!

Demons cannot stand actual silence. they live in confusion, noise and chatter and cannot survive where there is peace and silence.
good luck, Jay

I told you I wasnt joking around about what Ive been through. All the things my clairvoyant friend told me came to pass which is why I know she didnt call me strong for nothing. I wanted to know if you have ever experienced astral travel along with visiting your higher self. I do believe there are beings on the other side trying to free me from this matrix due to the fact that I have been very close to traveling out of my body on many occasions. I think it even came very close to happening this morning. Ive learned a great deal of myself and my importance in this world. I also know that there is some kind of war going on in another plane which is 4th density. This war is basicaly those that are on my side trying to free my mind against those who are against me desperatly trying to keep me here for there energy source or in other words battery. I do believe that many of my ailments are 4th density in nature such as the same little critter Neo experienced in the matrix when the feds caught up with him which explains ringing tones in my ears (monitoring devices). I do not approve of the things I see or hear which lets me know that this is definitly a dream, "If you were in a dream that seemed so real how would you be able to tell the dream from the real world". I know who I am which is prophesised in the book of Isaiah. Ill find the exact verse in the bible if you want. I found it interesting that you told me your name was Jay which is my brothers name. The reason why is just due to the fact that Im not one to believe in coincidences. You even mentioned something that reminded me of him. It could be something in which I do believe it is although it could be twisted into something thats nothing at all in which I no it isnt. Thats only a play on my mind trying to convence me that Im in lala land or crazy when I know that the rabbit whole goes much deeper than this. Holla at you soon.
May peace be with you, YHWH bless.
Marlo

First off I would like to express how greatful I am in having the opportunity to do this right now. I give all praises to the most high creator YHWH (Jehovah), for if it wasnt for YHWH I wouldnt be here right now having this opportunity to finally express everything I've been through. Its actually very prophetic if you believe in that kind of thing. I've ran into a couple of people that happened to be clairvoyant in the past. One of them told me that I would have demons physicaly stopping me from doing what I am going to do which is what I believe which is what is going on in my life right now. I dont know where to start as far as all the things I've been through. As you can see demonic possesion is one of them. The mental torment I used to suffer was probably the worsed and most extreme. I experienced voices and the most insane ludicriss thoughts one could imagine. I underwent very strong feelings of depression and sadness. Feelings of lust would surge throughout my body almost to the point of being in a zombie like state. Many times my mind felt as though I were tied to something being slung around vilently. I do believe that the government and aliens are affiliated with what I have gone through. Ive recently learned that aliens will thrive off this kind of human misery as though it were some kind of uphoric drug. Ive had halucinations before also. Halucinations like butterflys appearing out of thin air. I smell the smell of brimstone once in a while. One time I saw a pale grayish smoke float out of a friend of mines mouth and she wasnt smoking a cigerette at the time. I feel sensations all over my body. These sensations come to me in a manner of communication. For example I'll think a thought and after I think whatever thought I think Ill feel a sensation on my middle finger as though someone were flipping me off or I'll have one on my pinky finger which says that I'm coming up short. The others are as follows: Index symbolises blame, Ring symbolises get married, Elbow means I'm being laughed at. I have these same feelings on my feet also. This is something thats going on as I write you this letter. Alot of the other stuff that I mentioned above isnt no where near as bad as it used to be. Moving from California to Atlanta helped me alot. California was a terrible place filled with gloom. Me and the people I knew and hung around did drugs and sold them mainly methanphedimines (speed). I learned that people that undergo Qi Gong injurys usually turn to that drug. The past year has been a slow process in healing and retrieving my mind. Lately Ive been doing a great deal of art which is something I havnt done since 2001. I have a very strong belief in the most high. If it wasnt for the creator and its angles I'd probably be dead right now. Ive stared death in the eye a couple of times in my life. One of those times happened to be a suicide attempt. My clairvoyant friend I mentioned to you before told me some things that have had a profound effect on keeping me going through all of this. She simply told me that I am one of the strong ones having seen all of the things I was going to go through. She also told me that I am one of the creators elect. Elect is a biblical term describing someone that is humble, meek contrite and longsuffering. Theres alot more but I'll stop here for now. I'm going to go ahead and call it a night. You have my blessing for being here for me. Thank you!
YHWH bless,
HULK

The problems can come when the scope of your awareness is too big, there is a lot of information with few clues as to what the priority is and it gets overwhelming.

Never mind that everything seems like an act to you right now, let that go for the moment and come back to being here as best as you can...relax and try to stay centered in your body.

There are several things you can do, but quiet meditation is a good way to settle the waves and get some balance, some energy back to the right circuits if it is possible.

Sitting still, listening passively, letting go of any ideas i am this, that or the other thing.
just watching the mind, thoughts coming and going, and feeling the sensations in your body.
Stay centered in the lower part of the body and stay still for at least 20 minutes for so, with the back upright. If you are using a chair, instead of cushions on the floor, lean forward from the back rest, so all your energy is engaged.
Do it every day at least once...don't try anything fancy just breath normally  and relax... with the eyes open but lowered, listening.

If you can do this i would guess that most of the problems will vanish in a few days. There are a lot of reasons for this.

"QI gong injury" i'm not familiar with but there is nothing new on this earth.
On this end there is no acting, any more than what you are doing is an act.
On one hand it is all "an act" until you know who you are (or are not to be specific) and everything "extra" is seen and dropped.
The mind is funneling all kinds of information and ideas and without being able to separate the fact from the fiction, even on a subtle level, it can seem like there is something external to you acting on you. Let's not assume that is the case yet, let's assume all of this is just an imbalance and can be righted with practice and knowledge.

Let's start from the beginning and see if we can find out what's going on..
what do you mean by "I've been through a lot" ?
and when did this feeling start and how exactly?
Be honest don't worry about what anybody thinks.

First off I would like to express that in no way am I paranoid or dillusional. Im not on meds either. I've been through alot. The best discription of it would be torture. I'm a soldier and seeker of the truth. My findings and experiences have shown me that what I am dealing with is karmic and stems from who I was and what I did in my past life. What I am dealing with is both blessing and curse. Ive been fortunate to find out exactly whats happened to me which is called Qi Gong injury. This type of injury effects ones perception and can be inflicted by those who have a great knowledge of voodoo, devianation, and wikka. I know that what your doing is an act which is merely illusion. Thats the truth. I know this because everything I learn proves itself to me to be true without a shadow of a doubt although one can be convinced otherwise espescialy if ones actor,actress/teacher knows that his mind is maluable to think differently.
YHWH bless,
HULK