This is what I wish someone could have said to me when I was your age:

Follow the clues and connect the dots. That action will grow your awareness into a shield, and inside that chrysalis, your fractured self can fuse back into one. But you have to be willing to find out what the truth is about everything no matter what it turns out to be - that's the secret ingredient. It's a process, it takes time, it is painful, it is worth it.

Make sure to get your 3D needs met - especially the diet you need to be healthy, which may not be what other people need. Also, a cleanse might be appropriate if you've had vaccines, industrial chemical "food", etc. AM/PM Ultimate Cleanse by Nature's Secret is a good one, just follow the directions in the box.

Gender, IQ, temperament, and aptitude largely determine adult identity (Conscious choice is the 5th element, but you have to achieve that). It takes a lot of energy to be someone you're not - that's energy you need for your life.

Soy is not food. Zinc is a component of testosterone. Appreciation isn't attraction.

Have you seen The Matrix?

And always remember: In your own time and in your own way.

Good luck.

I've been to Sedona twice in the past, and it's a great town but Flaggstaff seem's more of a small city, which I would prefer.   The hiking in Sedona is fantastic and having that so close by would be a wonderful thing.

I would not doubt many WILL move to Flaggstaff now that folks know it's a great place to be.   I had also thought to move to Mt. Shasta, as another very high vibrational area, but so far have not made any plan's.   

In Karen's last update for March 20th she mention's something about the energies directly under her home, I hope she talk's about that more, it seem's to be very interesting.   She also mentioned Mt. Baldy and surrounding area's as being a place where contact with ETs might be commonplace.    I don't know all the details here so I can't comment any further, she only gives out little hint's from time to time.

I hope you get a chance to move there it would be nice to have "on the spot" report's on what's going on.

I have actually been experiencing time anamolies. I experience deja vu alot. I have had dreams that come completely true. I have also been noticing thoughts entering my head that are subtle and random. For example, the other day the word battery entered my head while I was taking a shower. Later that day my friend started talking about batteries when he had an idea for alternative energy sources. I also have synchronicities every single day like 5 times. I think these synchronicities mean that reality is running parallel with me because I am on the right track.

I, as well, believe everything happens for a reason. I get much advice from weird synchronicities and observations, (i.e. a bus has an ad on it that says, "Keep short to do lists...."). I realize that this is good advice and take it, whereas most people wouldn't give it much attention.) I have been hanging in there. I realized my main problem. It was simply not trying. I expected good things to come to me easily. I had the power to increase my strength but I felt like I was magically going to be empowered. I am the one that needed to empower myself. I take responsibility for all my actions now. When ever I feel negative feelings creeping in I repell them out with my will. If I feel bad, I meditate and push out all things that do not resonate with me. I have made extremely good progress in a very short amount of time. I am loving and enjoying life now.

I do think there is a possibility that I may be from off of this planet. I am not very grounded to it. I am trying hard to get more grounded and I am noticing lots of progress with it. I rise up to every situation that comes my way. If there is something I need to deal with, I realize what must be done and I do it without any complaints.

I've been having a lot of synches with the word entropy lately. It makes sense. If we are from off of this planet, then our conciousness has more momentum behind it and that might be why we can see more easily through the illusions and are more empowered. Those that are native to the earth have more inertia in a stagnant position. They need us to accelerate and bring higher forms of thought into their lives. When we start accelerating we will be creating a stream. There stagnant position will want to seek lower pressure and move towards the stream. Whether or not they resist this will determine if they progress during this opportune time.

I have recently found some great friends that are into lucid dreaming and other metaphysical type stuff. Some of them party though and I can't be around them too long otherwise I feel drained. I almost always have to meditate after hanging out with them. One is also very emotional. I am considering ending my relationship with them or atleast toning it down. I don't want to get caught in some drama.

I am considering moving to Flagstaff, Arizona. Karen Bishop from www.Whatsuponplanetearth.com makes it sound appealing. What do you guys think? http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/flagstaff.htm I'm not sure though. I think I need to get away from the ocean though. I think flooding will be frequent in the near future. It is already making a presence in the news. I have had dreams of a tsunami hitting California to, reaching far inland. Plus California may experience major earthquakes. I remember reading about a prophecy where there would be a mass exodus of people out of California. Maybe it's kind of like a pendulum. Tons of people flocked to California and are still doing that, eventually maybe the opposite has to happen when the pendulum starts to come back down.

I am eating extremely healthy. I eat all the right foods, mostly organic. Plus I practice food combining.

All in all, I'm doing very well and am no longer confused and troubled. Thank you all once again for your advice.

Personally, I don't believe in coincidences, everything happens for a reason.  I also don't believe in the nebulous way in which New Agers attempt to explain the unexplained.  I've had all sorts of people tell me similar things.  Maybe you should "see" somebody, as if to suggest that there was something wrong with me, when in fact I understood that it was quite the opposite.  There is no denying that collectively speaking the "veil" is being lifted.  However, the reasons behind this remain still a mystery to me.  Some would like to think that this has to do with the End of Times scenario.  I like to be more pragmatic and say that there is some environmental influence at play.  Hang in there and try not to let other people lead you astray.  Make sure that the choices you make are your own.

If I could make a suggestion, and by no means don't think that you have to agree with it but perhaps you could consider it.  Consider the fact that you are not OF this world.  Before those of you who may be reading this starting rolling your eyes let me elaborate.  I think that, based on your description, one might easily say that you feel alienated... and no I don't mean that you have little antennae coming out of your head or that there's a Grey living inside of you.  What I'm getting at is that you seem to have consciously rejected the false depiction of the world as it is being presented to you.  Something doesn't feel right.  We all know that the body affects the mind and therefore the spirit as much as the converse is true.  In case you haven't noticed (d)evil is working overtime.  All things being equal, one would expect to witness as many good things happen as bad but this doesn't not appear to be the case.  At least those in control of disseminating the information would like you to believe this.

"Higher" education or "formal" eductation for that matter, is a system designed to condition the masses.  We are fed a selective diet of information to help skew our opinions, values, morals etc... yet, oddly enough, there appears to be a small minority of people who see through the process and choose to reject it while the majority seems content to live the lie.  I'm sure that some of this has to do with the laws of entropy and the fact that water flows "downhill".  So in essence, it requires a considerable amount of energy to "go against the grain".  Not only this but the mere act of dissent exposes you to the masses as being different and therefore a potentional wrinkle in their dillusional reality.  Bottom line, you're opening yourself up to a lot of hurt.  We can all agree that evil exists and that much of the conditioning which has occured throughout history was based on some element regarding dark forces i.e. evil.  As the Japanese proverb states, "Don't be the nail that sticks out..."  since you will be the first hit.  Therefore, one could assume that self preservation is an essential component to human nature and so the masses choose to remain conditioned "slaves" most likely due to self preservation.  Throughout history we see civilizations "paying" offerings to the gods, in essence- please accept this and in exchange leave me alone.  Doesn't this mimic the "don't rock the boat" mentality.  I'll go to your schools, get your diploma, jump through your hoops as long as you leave me alone and let me live the life that I've been conditioned to believe in.  If you start to really think "outside of the box" well then you are a threat to be "burned at the stake" or fed to a volcano. 

So, one could easily state that you are NOT of this world but rather a sovern entity and therefore you should find strength in the fact that you haven't sold out!  Most of us have an innate sense of what is right and what is wrong; it is the choice that we make which sents us apart from the rest.  There may be a price to pay but the reward will be so much greater.

From a practical standpoint, you should also be aware that there is a lot of pollution in our environment, particularly that which most people overlook.  There are definitely more EMFs and frequencies buzzing around now more than ever and this isn't taking into account all of covert operations which the government is involved with.  You may want to familiarize yourself with the "non-lethal" weapons technology and how transmission of specific radio frequencies can affect human behavior.  After all we are electrochemical in nature.  Furthermore, I personally believe that there is a nefarious plot involving Chemtrail activity.  Most may think that this is a hoax but I've studied this for some time now, it's up to you to decide.  I definitely feel worse on the days in which they spray.  I wouldn't be suprised if this is connected with HAARP.

Stay away from vaccines and any kind of processed food, it's just plain poison.  Genetic strains of foodstuffs are viewed as foreign stubstances by our bodies potentially creating all kinds of physiological problems.  Keep your eyes and ears open and let your heart decide on what the truth is and you'll do OK.  All the best!

The telepathy, did the Marijuana trigger this somewhat? For me, I became telepathic in March 2004 while smoking loads of dope and it totally messed me up, considering that I was at university with 3 flatmates that could hear me think. Everything I thought it seemed. I'd be taking penalties against Matt (flatmate) on the Playstation, he'd run up, I'd think "aim bottom left' and he'd hit his shot at the bottom left of the goal. It's a serious mindf**k. If it's distressing try quitting the dope, it might help. I think I'm still transmitting my thoughts occasionally, but nowhere near as often as when baked 24/7.

If you're up for some research, I think that Chi moves up through the spine and hits the right temple when your communicate telepathically, and input enters throught the left temple. I think this because I can feel Chi sometimes, lumps of it moving through my head. It's crazy. As far as I know from what I've felt there is a main meridian moving up the spine, which splits into 4 around the neck, one meridian heads towards left temple, other to the right, another to the third eye, another to the top of the head. And two more branches I forgot, one to the left prefrontal cortex, another to the right prefrontal cortex.

I'm probably unqualified to give advice compared to most of the posters here, who while conquering most of their problems and escaping the shit, I find myself wading through the shit still 2 years after it kicked off. I was up to my neck at one point I though, but there has been progress for me, therefore I can only guess that you'll be fine with all the moves you're making. I'm not so smart and chose a more hit-an-miss approach.

I've got some good songs for you
Eels-Hey Man
Oasis-It's getting better man
REM-Shiny happy people.
Chemical Brothers-The golden path.

They cheer me up, especially the Eels one, heard it only 10 minutes ago.

Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor
And cry your guts out till you got no more
Hey man now you're really living

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl
Made you feel like it's not such a bad world
Hey man now you're really living

Now you're really giving everything
And you're really getting all you gave
Now you're really living what
This life is all about

Well i just saw the sun rise over the hill
Never used to give me much of a thrill
But hey man now I'm really living

Do you know what it's like to care too much
'bout someone that you're never gonna get to touch
Hey man now you're really living

Have you ever sat down in the fresh cut grass
And thought about the moment and when it will pass
Hey man now you're really living

Now you're really giving everything
And you're really getting all you gave
Now you're really living what
This life is all about

Now what would you say if i told you that
Everyone thinks you're a crazy old cat
Hey man now you're really living

Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor
And cry your guts out 'til you got no more
Hey man now you're really living

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl
Made you feel like it's not such a bad world
Hey man now you're really living

People sing
Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor
And cry your guts out 'til you got no more
Hey man now you're really living

Just saw the sun rise over the hill
Never used to give me much of a thrill
But hey man now i'm really living

You can find them on www.newzbin.com if you like, I think it's legal. ish. I may have broken board rules there, delete mods please. The Streets-The Irony of it all will make many pot smokers laught a lot.

I didn't get to your post until just now, however I would still like to comment.

I went through a similar phase during my sophomore year of college.  Actually the way you describe it is better than I have described it myself.  The key components were being overanalytical and indecisive.  I would paralyze myself over even the smallest of decisions, attempting to acquire and assess all the data before taking action on anything. 

You could forget about the big ones.  For example, if I was interested in a girl and wanted to call her, I would spend hours plotting out all the possible lines of conversation in my head, deciding beforehand exactly how I would respond in every situation.  So what would end up happening is that I would spend all this time planning everything out and then when the moment came it would go nothing like my plans.  The strange thing is, at the time, I had no idea that this was not natural.

As with you, I was raised in an environment where my value was determined almost completely on my intellectual ability.  Having the "right" answer was of prime importance, because either I was right, or I was an idiot.  And nobody likes idiots.  Feelings and emotions weren't something that were discussed in my family, other than in short outbursts of anger.  Creativity wasn't particularly promoted either.  Even when I took piano lessons, they were of a very rigid, classical style.

Anyhow my point is that there is hope, and that you may be relieved and / or incredulous to hear that there's nothing you need to do.  If fact, I would suggest doing a lot of nothing, as often as possible.  Slow down.  Take a walk.  There is nothing wrong with you.  You are just going through a transition phase.  On the other side you will find yourself much more in touch with your feelings and intuitions, and you will find that you no longer consider the intellect to be the epitome of human development.  This is all very good.

The challenge for you will be not to think about what you feel, not to analyze it, and even not to analyze your analysis when it occurs.  Focus on the WHAT and not the WHY.  Use your mind simply to make observations, rather than to come up with the latest theory on your life.

Meditation is a very good tool to help with this process.  Yet even then your mind will try to distract you by obsessing over it.   Am I doing it right?  Is there a better way to do this?  Maybe I should buy 20 books on meditation and read them, because if I'm going to commit to something like this, I want to make sure that I'm not wasting my time.  And so on.  And so on.

For me, I took a lot of walks.  I walked everywhere.  I probably spent several hours a day walking.  I didn't own a car at the time, but I had previously bicycled everywhere.  Always rushing around seeing how fast I could get from one place to the next.  So I retired my bicycle and started walking.  No headphones.  Just me and the pavement.  I spent a lot of time focusing on my feet.   That seemed to help.

Another thing that I did was smoke massive amounts of marijuana.  I'm not telling you this as a recommendation, as there obviously are health concerns, and most sources agree that it interferes with spiritual development.  I'm just including it here for the sake of completeness.  Your choices are your own to make.   It was truly heroic amounts.  Enough to get past the stage of super-theorizing which happens to most when they are stoned, to the point where my mind would simply not work properly.  I couldn't follow a thought long enough to have any idea where it was going.  So I just let them go.

You can reach the same results in a healthier manner through meditation.  I suppose if I had approached meditation with the same diligence as I did my drug habit I would have had even better results.  Now it is clearer to me how truly unimportant my thoughts are, and that the concept of "mine" is just as ridiculous when applied to thought as anything else.  Thus it is easier for me now to enter into a meditative state, and I don't require any substance to do so.

In any case the last thing you need to be doing right now is worrying about what is "wrong" with you, or trying to fix anything.  Let me assure you that you are perfectly fine, and more importantly, that you are well-loved.  The sooner you let that sink in at an emotional level, the better you will feel.  Feeling is the key here.  For all your mind's wonderful abilities to discern the many possibilities of life, it is basically incompetent as to determine probabilities.  There is always another thing to be factored in.  That's where your feelings come in.  They function much, much, better in that respect.

Eventually, you will come to a state where you still use your mind for observation and identification of the choices that are available to you in a given situation.  It will continue to serve you well in this regard.  But as far as actually making the choice is concerned, you must learn to trust your feelings.  Trying to make a decision with your mind is like trying to eat with your feet.  It's just not designed for that function.

One additional suggestion I would make is to go get a deck of Rider-Waite tarot cards and lay out the swords and the cups on a table or the floor from ace to king one above the other.  These two suits tell the story in symbological terms of the marriage of the mind to your feelings and will assist you greatly.

Hope this will be of service to you.

Matthew

EDIT:  Just read Zarg's post above.  Yes, taichi, qigong, and other forms of movement and breathwork are extremely helpful.  The dietary recommendations are also good.  You might also want to try supplementation with B12 and magnesium.  Herbs such as chamomile and passionflower are useful either as teas, or in tincture.  Also you can use essential oils such as lavender or sandalwood.  Acupuncture and homeopathy can also be of service, however you should seek out a trained professional for those.

Secondly, you sound as though you are under 25 and thus are probably one of the New Breed (it used to be called 'starseed') -- particularly susceptible to the oncoming Wave and its effects which are expanding us all, making us all more sensitive, more aware... nothing to be alarmed about -- go with it, into it... there is nothing that you cannot handle: set your intention to handle whatever comes up -- "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world."  (Not religion. Fact.) We are not alone here and some of us are waking up to a world that is nutty/petty/ignorant but trust that your Higher Self sees, knows and you are very much loved by the Higher Powers... you may even have a job to do in the coming days and this 'rough time' is preparing you, strengthening you... and you get to go THRU it ... gold is not purified without heat. Steel is not tempered without heat.

I say that because I finally 'surrendered' in a period of confusion/depression to what I felt might be a 'calling' and I asked for help -- from God, or whoever was listening that was from the Light. (I was contemplating suicide -- and that always gets Their attention!) They showed up and changed me, 'rewired' me and now I can do things and I know things, in addition to seeing (basic) auras .. and it is all directed toward the 2006-2008 period. We wouldn't be here in this timeline if we didn't have a purpose here -- nobody gets a ticket to this planet (especially at this time in history) without a good reason... Don't worry, you can't miss your lessons, nor your 'calling' ... I sense you subconsciously know this and don't want to screw up (so you over analyze -- I did too) -- you won't. Your Higher Self will see to it. Trust.

And the last thing is watch the diet -- as Montalk said:  go easy on caffeine, sugar, red meat, and Aspertame/Nutrasweet (diet sweetener)-- it is a poison that, if you have a sensitive system, can really act like a drug, "unbalancing" you -- the enemy would like nothing better than that!
In addition, I needed a good daily multiple vitamin -- it is hard to be depressed when you get enough B6 and B1 -- try Twinlab or Nature's PLus.
I found it helped.

You are a very worthy soul, you are loved, you can handle anything you choose to handle -- major truth: your Higher Self sees to it that nothing comes your way that you could not handle (what would be the point in overwhelming a soul?); trust yourself and go with the Flow of your 'inner guidance' -- it is there, speaking, and is reliable. "Bring forth what is within you... " (i.e., your Light)

Blessings of Light and Love.

I wish I was full of peace and had clarity of mind so I could properly speak and feel for people.

Dear Matthew, don't we all? Peace and clarity are two of the most elusive states of being one can pursue. I don't think I have any secret knowledge really, nor do I manage to attain peace and true understanding as much as I'd like, but I think I'm coming to realize that there's more value in the pursuing than we tend to realize.

Pretty much every great philosopher from every culture has given us guidance on what he or she thinks is the way to achieve peace and enlightenment. Does any one speak more truth than another? I don't think so. It's the journey, the chase, the endeavor to attain that really shapes us and enhances our knowledge I think, not even so much the actual attainment.

And the book covers this very well:

If you have the book, maybe you just need a quick review.  It's really not about improvement, but transformation into the strong, confident human we truly are.

http://www.miguelruiz.com/teachings/fouragreements.html

http://www.ralph-abraham.org/

The type of paradigm shift he was discussing was a paradigm shift in mathematics. He discussed how the state of mathematics is in poor health worldwide, yet there are new emerging mathematics fields that are revolutionary, just as algebra, geometry, and calculus were. He discussed however that there are zero classes being offered in these new fields because of hierarchal bs in the educational system. There also isn't enough demand. Most people who are math oriented end up pursueing engineering or earthsciences, which isn't bad, except that only a mere trickle of students is left for pure mathematics.

Here's another cool site that uses mathematics to model the behavior of just about everything:

http://ccl.northwestern.edu/netlogo/

I have thought about listening to music more and reading more books. I love to listen to music. It's kind of weird how I never buy cds or download lots of music. As for books, I love to read them. I can never make up my mind when I am in a book store.

I have't lost sight of hope. I have had my doubts here and there but they were outweighed by my past experience of getting out of depression. Although I have imagined myself as an old lonely man in the future sometimes. This scenario though never seemed likely with the pace at which things are changing in the world. I went through a phase like this before and got out of it. I have talked with a friend about a lot of the stuff on my mind. He's not a very good friend though. I don't trust him and maybe because I don't trust him he doesn't trust me. He's nice, but I sense he tells people what I tell him. I know some people though that I could potentially befriend who are honest and trustworthy. My history teacher seems like a nice person. I plan on going to his office hours soon.

I'm trying to immerse myself in academia too. I've received straight "A"s so far. My first quarter, (I'm in my second quarter at the moment,) I took Psychophysics Music, an English/Environmental class, and Violent Universe. I'm taking Chemistry, Integral Calculus, and Modern World History (from a non Eurocentric perspective) this quarter.

I've been thinking a lot about structuring every aspect of my life. I've been thinking of ways to organize every single aspect of my life. For example, Physical (excersizing and stretching,) Spiritual, Academic, Social (includes family and friends,) and activities that are just plain fun. I think by organizing everything, I'll be better at focusing my energy to achieve results faster. For the Physical catagory, I've added excersizes that extend from above the shoulders (neck, eyebrows, eyelids, nose muscles, cheeks, chin, and eyes ((magic eye books are great for this or you can go to this awesome site http://www.ixtlan.ru/images.php# .)) I think that excersizing is very important for clearing energy blockages. I am basically trying to excersize every single muscle in my body. I just need to get a good system in place and then I run with it. I'm highly motivated, so I know I can do this.

I think people in my building are scared of me because of how much I know and how much I am aware of things when I hang out with them. They all think I'm a genius, except socially. I've noticed I make a huge impact on them. Many of them study harder just because they see me doing in my classes. I have had trouble speaking though like I have a speech impediment or something. I talk with no enthusiasm, except when I get creative ideas that I want to share. They also think I am self absorbed and really sensitive. I've been listening to their thoughts a lot. I don't exactly have a choice. Their thoughts just enter my head. I have noticed I am becoming more and more psychic very rapidly. I think this is due to me focusing on my crown chakra nearly 24/7. I feel my brain being rewired. I have so much knowledge I want to share with the people in my building. The people in my building (composed of about 24 people) are extremely different from most buildings at my college. There is a sense of family here. I am kind of an outcast in their family, but I think this is due to me not subjecting myself to their fake unmeaningful dialogue. The people in my building are very open minded too, atleast most of them. I think there is a lot of potential to transfering my knowledge to them in the form of tons of good websites, articles, and online interviews. I feel like I have so much to say that its hard to organize everything.

I meditate alot. I probably meditate close to 2 hours a day. I mainly focus on my crown chakra, but I'm not sure if I should be focusing mainly on that. I read that to open the heart chakra, you need an open flow of energy starting from the root chakra up through the naval chakra and solar plexus chakra. Yesterday I felt intense love for a girl. I haven't felt that kind of love for a long time. This girl loves me, or at least used to love me. I'm not sure if she still does. At the beginning of the quarter she said she loved me and she meant it. Shes a cute little asian girl that loves to bake. She very intelligent. I am not sure if she still loves me. She is also very open minded. She believes alot of the stuff I told her. I kind of don't want people to believe what I say just because I do. That would be like me being a preacher and them being my followers. I think there is so much potential here in Santa Cruz for a revolution of conciousness. It just needs a trigger. I wish I was full of peace and had clarity of mind so I could properly speak and feel for people. I think I was overcome this state of unease soon.

I just came across your post. I think what you're going through is pretty normal. I know that I'll go through periods of intense depression and a sense of not being connected to reality, time or the 'real' world. What struck me about your post were your comments about not being able to  make decisions about seemingly trivial things. I totally suffer from this as well, always have and sometimes it's worse than at other times. College was the best experience of my life, but luckily I met some like-minded people and immersed myself in academia, which is possibly my greatest passion in life. I've never been the type to go to lots of parties, drink beer and make out in a frat house so I did have trouble relating to many people but I just pretty much steered clear of them and did my own thing. Have you tried to find a sense of kinship through books and music? I know that during some of the worst times of my life when I wasn't able to discover a sense of affinity with anyone, books provided me with kindred spirits and a feeling that I was not alone and never had been.

The important thing here is to not lose sight of hope. I know is sounds cliche, but honestly, depression, doubts, etc. don't last forever, this I've learned through many hardships and bouts with my personal demons. Have you talked to someone abouts these things? Not a psychiatrist per se, just someone you trust and whose judgment you have faith in, like a professor maybe or even campus counselor? I know that I'm the kind of person who needs to receive feedback from time to time and you'd be amazed how good it can make you feel just to hear a person you respect tell you you'll be ok and that they understand what you're going through. I wish you well, I really do!